Malachite
A chocolate cream-filled donut with rainbow sprinkles sat on the passenger seat of Peridot’s car, as promised. Fully exposed out of the bag, she looked at it juicily as she waited, wishing it was not the last one left at the store. Her stomach growled audibly. Five energy drinks within the last six hours did not exactly fill her stomach, but she felt too upset to eat. I wonder why in the world that is, Peridot thought to herself ironically.
The car engine idled as she pulled off to the side of the street. Like background noise, the radio quietly sang 80’s music, though she was not listening. A little wisp of steam continued to flow out of the coffee lid, placed snugly in the cup holder. It was still very hot to the touch.
Though it was not the first time pulling an all-nighter, it was the longest one Peridot could recall. Feeling lost, the blonde stared absently through the front dash window. So this must be how Lapis feels, every other night. All thoughts of worry and anxiety were gone. The only sense remaining was the shaking and jitteriness from too much caffeine. She was pretty sure she was alright to drive.
When she would arrive back home or at Lapis’ place, she was not picky, she planned on sleeping for a long time.
A knock on the side window jolted Peridot up from her slouch. There was Lapis, as put together as she was when Peridot dropped her off. The pale girl fumbled for the unlock button and pressed it twice.
“You don’t know how much I wished to be with you instead of at work.” Lapis went for a long hug, speech slow and drained. “Thank you so much for driving, and breakfast.”
“A promise is a promise,” Peridot cited.
“You should have some,” Lapis offered.
“Nah, I got it for you.” Amazing. Lapis considered sharing even after a graveyard shift.
“Hey Peri.”
“Wha-,” She was cut off as Lapis dabbed chocolate frosting on top of her nose. “That’s uncalled for!”
“Still,” Lapis moved in before the blonde could wipe it off. Kissing her small nose, it was off clean and on the violet eyed girl’s lips. Peridot only stammered. “I want you to try some.”
Her mouth tasted of sweet chocolate. This was much better than some lousy convenience store donut.
“See?” The blue haired girl moved away, as she stroked Peridot’s cheek.
“You never give up, do you?” The shorter girl grumbled, all red, pretending to hate it.
“Never,” she said smugly.
Peridot took her hand into her slightly smaller one, as she put the gear in drive, and merged back onto the road.
It was uniquely beautiful, this time in the morning. Very few cars passed by them, leaving the streets quiet and serene. It was likely the only time Beach City had a little peace. It reminded her of the suburbs she grew up in, at nighttime. There was no way she could miss home, but there were certain aspects and vibes that were absent in the big city. Peridot breathed slowly. If she was still there, she would have never met her friends, gone to college to pursue her major, or held any chance of meeting a girl as amazing as Lapis.
Lapis. She deserved better than this, a job which overworked her, a mentally unstable mother, a questionably criminal girlfriend, and the biggest asshole of a sister. Malachite vanished when Lapis tried so much to hold the family together, and for no reason. That could never be alright.
Bulging in the pocket of her jacket was a certain phone number she failed to discard. For that entire night, Peridot contemplated giving it to Lapis. How would she take it, if Peridot explained how she accidently bumped into her lost, older sister? In what way would it benefit Lapis? After hours of meditation, the blonde decided to tell her anyway. If she was in Lapis’ shoes, she would want to know herself. It would be dishonest if she did not, and that would not be healthy for any relationship.
“Peri,” Lapis said seriously. “What’s wrong?”
In the corner of her eye, Peridot could see the blue haired girl watching her, but she kept her eyes fixed on the road.
“Why do you think there’s anything wrong?”
“The way your forehead creases when you’re heavily thinking about something.”
“Am I that easy to read?” The blonde was basically admitting it now.
“Kind of.”
Peridot pulled off into a barren high school parking lot. It was just them, parked underneath the overhead street light.
“What’s wrong?” Lapis repeated, with a slight tremble.
“I ran into your sister,” the blonde came out with it, eyes still fixed onto the street.
“What? Malachite?” The blue haired girl gasped.
Nodding, she turned to her stunned girlfriend. “When I was coming out of the convenience store after dropping you off. I mistook her as you.”
Silence. “Did she say anything?” Fear.
“I accidently told her we were dating. It just came out,” Peridot quickly added. “You should’ve been the one to tell her, I didn’t mean to before you. She… laughed.”
Lapis said nothing. That worried Peridot. The blue haired girl was not known to not have a response.
She continued, “She was surprised you were dating.”
“That’s understandable,” looking down. “At least when she used to know me. I dated around, none of it was serious.”
“She also found out about your mom.”
A face appeared on Lapis, which Peridot had never witnessed before. “Did you tell her?’
“… Yes.”
“… She shouldn’t know.”
Her stomach dropped further than a submarine in the ocean. “I-I’m sorry!” Peridot fidgeted, dishing out the phone number Malachite shared. “She wanted me to give you this, and say you’re welcome to visit her anytime. You can mend your relationship now.”
Wait. Was Lapis shaking?
“Peridot, I can’t.” A heavy tear ran down her face, dropping on her jeans. She opened the paper revealing the phone number.
“I thought that’s what you wanted.” Something was very wrong here.
“I can’t!” It was the first time Lapis yelled at her. Rivers ran freely from her violet eyes turned dark. Realizing she had no reason to bark at her girlfriend, Lapis stammered, “I can’t. I didn’t mean to yell Peri.” She covered her face in shame. “You deserve better than me.”
“What on earth are you talking about? You’re the one who deserves better.” Peridot fully believed it to be true.
“I filed a restraining order on Malachite. She can’t be anywhere near my mom.”
“Lapis…” But she could not answer. Both hands covering her eyes, Lapis was consumed in sobs.
Lapis.
Sniffling, she reached for the passenger seat door and opened it, face devoured.
Shit.
Like lightning, Peridot unfastened her seat belt and jumped out of the car. Lapis was walking away from the car, but the blonde was not about to allow her to leave alone. She ran over, gripping both arms around her waist from behind in an inflexible embrace.
“It’s okay. I’m here. Please! Allow me to be there for you!” Her eyes shut tightly, baring teeth in distress.
Twisting in her grasp, Peridot allowed Lapis to turn around, facing her. Maneuvering a hand to prop the back of her blonde head, she bent down, kissing her fiercely. It was stuffy and hot, and the tan girl tasted like salt. Grief was expressible in many ways, but by far this was the most heartbreaking method. Lapis’ tears were her own, both of their pulses adjusting to synchronize with the other.
Burying her head into the crook of Peridot’s neck, Lapis breathed, “Malachite abused us both.” Letting gravity take her, Lapis slowly fell to the concrete ground, pulling the shorter girl down with her. “It all started when she began doing drugs. She was first emotionally abusive with my mother, but did not take long to manifest in other ways. It would always be lacing her food and drink with drugs. Mom didn’t realize what was happening or why she was getting sick, until she became addicted and unstable herself. Before then she had depression, but it exploded full force after that.” Choking down her words, she let Peridot fully support the weight of her draping body. The blonde brushed the streams away, forming under her bewitching eyes.
Anger never suited the pale girl well, and was not the type to give into rage. But for the first time in a long while, Peridot was furious for Lapis. How dare she, Malachite, do that to her own family? To think she pitied herself for her own heartless, tyrannical mother, her only family. No, she did not have a family.
Peridot got a feeling there was more to this.
“What about you, Lapis?” She whispered.
“S-She physically abused me, threatened me if I told anyone, I would never see light again. At first she only hit me, told me if I was good she would treat me right. But then one night I woke up in bed and she was on top of me… She did that for a while, beating me if I refused.”
“You mean she…”
Lapis squeezed Peridot tight. Yeah.
Her own sister, Malachite. If there was true evil in the world, Peridot discovered it.
“I allowed it to happen. I was younger, I was confused. I had to be there for my mom. I grew used to it.”
“You did nothing to deserve this,” Peridot placed her hands on Lapis’ shoulders.
“After the restraining order and Malachite vanished, there were nights I missed her. I let myself miss her.”
“Listen to yourself Lapis!” The blonde attempted shaking Lapis out of it. “It was abuse! You were traumatized. That’s absolutely not okay.”
Peridot snatched the phone number still in Lapis’ hand, crinkled it up into a ball like Malachite did before, and threw it into the middle of the road. She knew why Malachite gave it to her now, and she was disgusted. There was no reaction from Lapis.
“I’m going to help you,” that was a vow, whether Lapis actually wanted her to or not. Picking Lapis up, she held onto her waist as they shuffled back to the car. The blonde opened Lapis’ door and guided her inside. Lapis followed, still in shock.
“Do you think you need to go in to the hospital?” Peridot did not want to escalate the situation, making it worse. But she could not know what Lapis was thinking at the moment.
Shaking her head, “I just need sleep,” the blue haired girl said.
The blonde did not want to make her girlfriend do anything she did not think was necessary. “Would you be willing to spend the night at my place?”
Unbelievably, Lapis forced a smile. She was strong. “I wanted to ask you that.”
There was only stillness in the air as Peridot drove home. As much as she ached to, she did not speed back. It would only make Lapis more stressed than she already was. Fortunately they lived only ten minutes away.
Parking her car next to the cub in front of her house, Peridot led her girlfriend in through the door, and straight to her room. The blue haired girl sat at the edge of her bed, too tired to do anything else. Peridot fished around her filing cabinet dresser for an oversized t-shirt and shorts, she had borrowed from her girlfriend.
“I meant to give these back to you anyway,” Peridot chuckled, a poor attempt at lightening up the mood. “Give me a second, I’ll be right back.”
Allowing the other girl some peace to change out of her clothes, the blonde went into the kitchen to make a cup of herbal tea and heat up the hot water bottle. When she walked back in her room, Lapis was already snuggled up under the sheets.
“Here,” she offered, but Lapis looked so cozy. “If you want to have it later that’s fine too.”
“Why are you so good to me?” It was the saddest, sincere question Peridot had ever heard.
“I ask myself the same about you, all the time.”
Changing fast into her own night clothes, Peridot crawled into bed next to Lapis. For the rest of the early morning until the afternoon they slept, and Peridot never let go of Lapis’ hand.