Do I Wanna Know?
Lexa slowly wakes up to the feeling of a finger gently poking at her cheek. The brunette opens her eyes to see Clarke blonde hair sprawled over her own face and chest, still hugging Lexa for dear life. Lexa shifts her vision slightly and sees her daughter in her pjs poking her face. Alex’s face is all scrunched and confused. Lexa gulps. This isn’t good. Her daughter won’t understand why her parents are sleeping in the same bed. The last thing Lexa wants is for Alex to jump to the wrong conclusion that her mommies are back together.
“Mommy, why are you in Mama’s bed?” Alex innocently asks, genuinely confused. Did her plan work? Are her mommies together like Jasper’s daddies now? Jaspers daddies share one bed too.
“I um.. well I was really tired last night baby and I feel asleep.” Lexa stuttered out. The firefighter carefully scans her daughter’s face as she processes the information.
“So will you sleep in Mama’s bed every night now?” Alex asks while climbing into bed with her mommies and cuddling up to Lexa’s other side.
‘No honey. It was only last night.” Lexa softly says, trying to hide her own sadness that she will not have Clarke in her arms tonight and the night after that and the night after that.
Alex frowns and her lip trembles a little. She wants her mommies together now! Her plan should be working.
“Are you okay?” Lexa asks her daughter whose face is etched in a permanent scowl, her eyes hanging low and defeated.
Alex nods slowly staring at her Mama tightly clutching onto her Mommy. She doesn’t understand her mommies. She remembers she came in her for a reason. She had a nightmare, an extra scary one too.
“I hads a nightmares.” Little Alex fearfully whispers, her face nuzzling deeper and deeper in Lexa’s neck.
“Aw peanut it’s okay. How about you sleep here the rest of the night okay?” Lexa sweetly says, gently rubbing Alex’s back to soothe the young scared girl.
“Yes please.” Alex mumbles, already drifting off back to sleep.
Lexa closes her eyes and feels the soft puffs of both her daughter and love’s breaths hitting both sides of her neck. She could not ask for a moment more peaceful. This is all she’s ever wanted, needed. Lexa falls back asleep warm and content to dream of better days for her and her family ahead.
///
The next time Lexa wakes up, Alex and Clarke are still hugging onto her with all her might. Lexa glances at the clock which says 9:30 a.m. The firefighter skillfully detaches Clarke and Alex from herself and stealthily makes her way to the kitchen. Lexa decides she’s going to cook Clarke’s favorite breakfast. She wants to cheer the blonde up in any way she can. Lexa puts on some soft music and gets to work making stuffed french toast with a with a warm boysenberry compote and a side of sizzling turkey bacon.
Lexa lays out all the food and the sweet smell fills the apartment. The firefighter tiptoes back into the bedroom and wakes up Alex first and tells her to go wait in the kitchen for her and her mama. Lexa realizes Clarke may very well be a little hungover or still upset and she wants to wake her up gently. Once Alex is out of the room, Lexa gets back under the covers with Clarke and the blonde immediately shuffles closer to her, pressing her body heat against Lexa. Lexa gulps. She never wants this to end. She takes a moment to cherish the simple feeling of a warm soft asleep Clarke in her arms for a moment more before she slowly coaxes Clarke away.
“Clarke...Klark...wake up.. I made breakfast.” Lexa softly says as she massages the blonde’s scalp. Clarke lets out a hum of content and lifts her head a tad. Her eyes are still closed and she has a frown etched on her face from being woken up. The blonde kisses Lexa’s lips for a second before falling back into Lexa’s arms and into a deep sleep once more.
“Five more minutes.” Clarke huskily murmurs out, her voice still coated in sleep. Lexa gasps at the sensation of Clarke kissing he. Surely, the blonde was asleep but still. The feeling of Clarke’s lips on her again brings her back to high school. Their lips may have sucked and licked each other's bodies at Bellamy’s birthday party but it wasn’t as intimate as this accidental kiss. This was more intimate. It was a simple good morning half asleep peck. It’s these kind of sweet kisses that Lexa yearns for from Clarke. It’s these kinds of kisses she hopes to one day have again. Lexa can spare five more minutes. Just five more minutes of the sleeping beauty that is Clarke Griffin in her arms.
Ten minutes later, Clarke finally wakes up and the little family of three munches up all of Lexa’s delicious breakfast. Clarke savors each tart taste of the boysenberries. Every little moan of delight from Clarke’s mouth while eating her food has Lexa on the edge of her seat. She tries to ignore those devilish sounds but she just can’t for the life of her. Clarke doesn’t take notice of Lexa’s reddening cheeks and pink tinged ears though as she’s too invested in her food.
“Alex baby, go put your empty plate in the sink and go get dressed.” Clarke instructs and Alex happily obliges. She’s just happy her mommy and mama seem to be getting along really well.
“Okay! Thanks for breakfast mommy.” Alex chirps out before pressing a big wet kiss to her mommy’s cheek and running off to her room.
They ex lovers sit in silence for a few minutes. It’s not awkward, anything but actually. Clarke takes a second helping of the french toast and this time prolongs her moan. Lexa is barely able to choke back a whimper at the sound. Clarke is going to kill her with the sounds she’s making.
“God Lex, you really know how I like it.” Clarke rasps out innocently. Lexa, of course, picks up on the unintentional double meaning behind the words and gulps. Lexa forces a small smile to her face, trying but failing to seem unfazed by Clarke’s sounds and words.
“So how are you feeling today?” Lexa croaks out, desperate to change to course of the conversation. It seems wrong to be getting turned on by Clarke after the emotional bomb that was dropped on them last night.
Clarke’s face pales a little at the thought of her mother’s sickness. It’s hard enough to cope with that fact that her father isn’t around anymore. She doesn’t know how she’ll survive losing her mom too. It’s just too much.
“It’s a lot better when you’re here.” Clarke insecurely whispers. She doesn’t want to seem weak but right now she needs Lexa.
“Then I’m here.” Lexa reaches over the table and interlocks her fingers with Clarke’s. “I can spend the day with you and Alex if you’d like. Whatever you want I’ll do Clarke.”
“I have to go to the hospital today to get tested to see if I’m a match. Octavia already said she could watch Alex. Could you...could you maybe come with me?”
“Of course.”
///
Clarke and Lexa shower (separately) and get dressed. Lexa could have easily taken a cab home and gotten ready at her place but she didn’t want to leave Clarke right now. Clarke’s eyes were dull and she looked lost even though she was pretending like she was okay. Lexa knew though and it scared her. She’s never seen her favorite pools of blue so lifeless before.
They get to the hospital and the first step is a blood test. Abby’s blood type is an A apparently so Clarke will need to be an A, O, or AB blood type in order to be a match. Clarke goes and gets her blood drawn with Lexa holding her hand the whole time. Lexa refuses to leave her side. Since Clarke works at the hospital and so does Abby, the lab technician fast tracks the testing and says he’ll have the results in an hour. Clarke anxiously sits in the cafeteria with Lexa, their hands rarely parting from the other. Clarke chews on her bottom lip as her leg nervously bobs up and down.
“I have to be a match Lex.” Clarke repeats for the fifth time today.
“You’ll know soon enough. We will all get through this.” Lexa says, knowing that no matter what they will get through this. She will move heaven and hell for her family.
Clarke goes up the lab technician desk like she’s walking a funeral line. She walks back over to Lexa and hands her over the envelope with the results that could potentially save her mother’s life.
“Here you open it. I can’t do it myself.” Clarke shakily pushes the paper into Lexa’s waiting hands.
Lexa deeply inhales as her eyes furiously scan the words on the paper. Not a match. Clarke is not a match.
“Clarke...I’m so sorry.” Lexa breathes out and Clarke just sucks in a deep breath and nods. A few stray tears begin to fall but the blonde wipes them away as quickly as they fell.
“Oh.. my blood type is B then I suppose. She needs a person with AB, O, or A. ” Clarke defeatedly says. And in that moment Lexa realizes something. She’s O. She remembers from when she was in the hospital after her underground fighting days. Lexa is a match.
“Uh I need to go take a walk or something. Get some fresh air.” Clarke speaks again, this time quieter, her voice thick with emotion.
“I’ll come with you.” Lexa readily supplies, willing to do anything to make her feel better.
“You’ve been so amazing this weekend but I think I need to be by myself for awhile.”
“I understand. If you need me, don’t hesitate to call.”
“Okay. Thank you Lex. Thank you so much for being here.” Clarke tightly hugs Lexa and presses a kiss to her cheek.
“Always.” Lexa says as she hugs just as fiercely back.
Once Lexa can see Clarke is out the door, she goes up to the nurses at the front desk.
“Hi, my name is Lexa Woods and I’d like fill out the papers to do an anonymous liver donation to Dr. Abigail Griffin.”