Wreck of the Day
THREE MONTHS LATER
The last few months have been kind to the growing Griffin-Woods family. Lexa is now Alex’s soccer coach with Lincoln (Bellamy stepped down as soon as Lexa asked him to). Lexa and Bellamy have only talked twice since then. The first time was at one of Alex’s soccer games where Lexa asked if she could be Alex’s second soccer coach instead of him. It’s important to note that this wasn’t out of malice. Lexa just wanted to be closer to Alex and soccer was the best way to do that. Alex and Lexa have had weekly days alone spending time together and it’s been the best part of Lexa’s days since she was a kid herself. Alex is such a smart little mini me of her, Clarke was right about that. And Clarke. Well Clarke and Lexa’s relationship has been nothing but confusing. Neither know where they stand with the other so they focus on Alex. They see each other when Lexa picks up Alex or when Clarke drops her off. The only time they do spend time together is at Alex related events, but the time they do spend together is everything they could hope for and more. They’re like a little family...if only that family could be real and not fantasy. Alex’s plan to get them together is helping a lot too. She always drags her mommies together (not that either have to really be dragged). Alex will come home from a night at Lexa’s and casually say something to Clarke along the lines of “Mommy said you looked really pretty yesterday.” She would do the same to Lexa too. Both parents would blush profusely and giggle like little schoolgirls. Alex was a little evil mastermind but it certainly was working.
///
Lexa didn’t have work today and Clarke and Alex were at Abby’s for dinner so she was alone. Lexa didn’t like to admit it but on these type of days, she really missed her sister. Her and Anya still haven’t spoke but Nyko gives Lexa consistent updates on her. Lincoln has visited Anya too and has assured Lexa time and time again that Anya is still on the wagon. Her sobriety for the time being is secure.
Lexa looks around her empty apartment as she slowly chews on the single steak she cooked herself and sighs. Her whole life, Lexa lived with Anya. These last few months of separations between the two sisters was absolutely needed but nonetheless very lonely. Both girls were a little lost without the other. Lexa is still so mad. She never really allowed her anger to swallow her up whole because Anya was her lifeline in the dark times following the flee from Polis all those years ago. She can feel that anger leaving her body with every smile from Clarke and Alex though. Every day she shares with the love of her life and their beautiful daughter is enough for her. She’s still bitter that she’s missed out on so much but she’s also so thankful for the time she has now. There comes a point where you have to live and let go. And sitting alone in her eerily silent apartment is enough to bring Lexa to her feet and drag her towards Nyko’s bar.
///
Anya just started her shift just like she does everyday. She doesn’t have much surprise or anything beside work in her life right now. She just works and works out. The Woods sisters are the same in that respect. When Lexa needs to shut down her emotions, she either spirals out of control with the partying and the women or focuses all her energy on working out and work. Anya is the same way and that’s exactly why she’s focusing on her work. She can’t slip again. No. She needs to show Lexa that she’s alright. She needs to show herself too. So she works. She lives. She survives day in and day out. It’s not a glamorous life. But it’s what she needs right now. Consistency. Order. And that’s exactly what she has had for months until Lexa comes walking through the bar door.
Anya pales considerably when she sees her little sister walk into the bar. They immediately make eye contact and both of their postures straighten. Anya fixes her shirt and ruffles her hair a bit for volume as she nervously stands, waiting for Lexa to approach her. This is it, Anya thinks. Finally, she will talk to her sister again. She’s missed Lexa more than air. Lexa isn’t just her sister. Anya raised Lexa too. Lexa is the most important person in the world to her and keeping away from her these past few months has been harder than she ever anticipated.
“Hi.” Lexa mumbles out as she stares straight into Anya’s wide honey brown eyes. Lexa is trying to act cool and collected but there are two people in this world that can see through her stoic facade. Anya and Clarke. So Anya knows that Lexa is just as nervous as her right now and that thought comforts the older Woods immensely.
“Hi Lex.” Anya breathes out, relief flooding through her body. Her sister is real and in front of her again. Lexa audibly gulps.
“Can we...maybe talk?” Lexa quietly asks as if Anya would say no. She’s been waiting for this moment.
“Yes.” Anya says with no hesitation although her voice slightly cracks. “Let me just tell Nyko I’m going on break. We can sit in the booth in the back. I’ll be right there.”
Lexa mutely nods and walks to the designated booth. Her nails nervously click on the table as she awaits Anya. Truthfully, she’s not really sure what she wants to say to Anya but she’s missed her. God, she’s missed her so much. Maybe it’s time they finally try and talk things out.
Anya walks over and takes of her apron before sitting down across from Lexa. She brought over one of Lexa’ favorite beers and a glass of water for herself. Lexa mumbles out a thank you and greedily drinks half the glass. Anya carefully watches her sister. She wants to let Lexa lead where this conversation goes. Lexa puts her glass down and stares at the table. The silence between the two sisters is even more eerie than the silence of Lexa’s apartment. Lexa starts to think she made a mistake coming here and then she looks up and Anya’s hopeful face and realizes it’s time. Lexa keeps talking about her new little family with Clarke and Alex but truthfully, her family will never be complete without Anya. It’s time for the Woods sisters to be a family again.
“I’ve missed you.” Lexa hoarsely says, already getting emotional. Anya barely holds back a choked sob.
“I’ve missed you too Lex.” Anya sadly smiles.
“How..how have you been?” Lexa insecurely asks.
“Good...well not good. But um you know I’m doing alright. I’ve been working a lot. Keeps my mind off other things.” Anya rambles a little and Lexa nods, listening to every word leaving her sister’s mouth.
“That’s good.” Lexa simply says and Anya nods. It’s awkward. The whole conversation is off and unfamiliar to them, but it’s a start. And Lexa is trying really hard, Anya can see that. It’s a start. And all Anya can ask for is a start. A chance.
“How have you been? How’s...um how’s Clarke and your daughter?” Anya carefully says, bracing herself for the backlash that might be thrown her way for bringing up such a sensitive topic. Lexa stiffens noticeably and before relaxing a moment later.
“Me and Clarke are just focusing on Alex right now.” Lexa firmly states and Anya can tell she’s hit a nerve. Silence envelops their booth again.
“Alex…” Lexa starts up after a few minutes of terribly awkward silence and Anya’s eyes shoot up, trying to meet Lexa’s green pools which are focused off in the distance.
“Alex is everything, Anya.” Her words are noticeably softer and tinged with love. Anya melts a little for her sister.
“Yeah?” Anya says with a soft smile.
“Yeah. She’s a soccer player just like me. And I coach her team with Lincoln. She never stops asking questions. She’s very curious for her age. And she’s got my eyes. I love her so much. I never thought I would love anyone other than well uh you and Clarke.. But god I do. She’s just everything.” Lexa rambles on about her daughter and the tension at the table eases slightly. Anya’s smile grows wider listening to her baby sister talk about her own baby girl. Lexa’s eyes dance with unparalleled love and affection, an emotion Anya never thought would grace the younger Woods’ eyes again.
“She sounds perfect Lexa.” Anya lovingly says. Anya is dying to meet her little niece and to explain and apologize to Clarke too but she knows it’s not the time yet. Lexa has just started to open up to her.
“She is. Maybe…” Lexa seems hesitant as she closes her eyes and takes a big swig of her drink. “Maybe you could meet her.”
“I’d love to.” Anya says, a little shocked at the offer.
“Not..not right away. Clarke will need to feel comfortable around you first. Maybe we can do a dinner..me you and Clarke. Talk things out a little more.”
“I..yes. Yes. Of course. Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”
Lexa nods and looks down at her phone, her face scrunches up like it does when something unexpected happens.
“I’m sorry I have to go. Clarke needs me.” Lexa says while staring at her phone. She misses the momentary disappointed look on Anya’s face.
“Of course. And Lexa..” Lexa turns around from walking away and the two sisters lock eyes again. “Thank you.”
“What are you thanking me for?”
“For trying. For trying to forgive me. That’s all I can ask for.”
Lexa sadly smiles and nods before walking away, leaving Anya alone once more.
///
Lexa scurries outside and takes a cab over to Clarke’s right away. The blonde’s text was vague but she asked if Lexa could come over right away and that she needed her help. Lexa gets to Clarke less than 10 minutes later and knocks on the door. Clarke opens the door in her scrubs from work. The blonde looks tired and her eyes are red and puffy. Lexa can tell she’s been crying. Concern instantly etches on the firefighter’s face.
“Thank god you’re here.” Clarke exhales a long breath.
“Is everything alright Clarke? Is Alex okay?” Lexa worriedly asks. Before Clarke moves from the door, wordlessly inviting Lexa in.
“Alex is fine. She’s actually right he-”
“Mommy!” Alex squeals and runs up to her mommy. Her and her mommy have gotten very close these past few months. They are best friends. Alex can tell her mommy anything.
“Hey there peanut.” Lexa scoops Alex in her arms and kisses the top of her head. She’s smiling but still extremely worried. Something with Clarke is very wrong.
“Alex baby, it’s time for bed.” Clarke softly says, her voice croaking.
“But mommy just got here!!” Alex frowns and crosses her arms in a stance of defiance. Clarke just doesn’t have it in her right now to argue with a six year old.
“Alex please.” Clarke defeatedly says. Alex is cranky because she’s sleepy and when she’s cranky, she becomes very stubborn.
“No! I don wannaaaaaa!” Alex whines and clutches on her mommy’s neck.
“How about I read you a bedtime story? Then you go straight to bed, okay?” Lexa tries to be helpful. She loves her daughter and always wants to spend time with her but right now the other love of her life needs her and only her.
“Fine.” Alex huffs out.
“I’ll be right back.” Lexa quietly says to Clarke, looking back at her apologetically.
Clarke nods her head. “I’m going to get changed out of my work clothes then.”
///
Lexa tiptoes out of Alex’s room 20 minutes later. Alex fell fast asleep, cuddled into Lexa and snoring lightly. It was the cutest thing ever and if Clarke didn’t need her right now, Lexa would have stayed there and watched her adorable baby girl for a few more minutes. But Clarke does need her.
Clarke is sprawled out on the couch, hugging a pillow with a half empty bottle of wine on the coffee table. Lexa is really worried now. She goes over and kneels on the floor near Clarke, pushing the blonde’s hair wet from her tears out of her face.
“Clarke, you’re scaring me. What’s wrong?”
“It’s..” Clarke hiccups a little. “My mom.”
“Abby? What happened?” Lexa carefully says, a knot already forming in her stomach.
“She has cancer.” Clarke quietly sobs out, pulling Lexa into a bone crushing hug. Her tears collecting on the shoulder of Lexa’s shirt. Lexa lets out a gasp and reciprocates the hug with equal force. The wind is knocked out of Lexa’s lungs. Life never seems to give them a break.
“Oh my god Clarke. I’m so sorry.” Lexa croaks out, tears of her own forming. Clarke pulls Lexa off the floor and onto the couch with her. The two women embrace like that for awhile, Clarke quietly crying so she doesn’t wake up their daughter. Eventually the tears subside and the only sounds in the house are Clarke’s hiccups.
“Can we lay down?” Clarke moves her face from Lexa’s shoulder and stares into her ex’s green pools with more vulnerability than Lexa ever thinks she has seen before. It breaks her heart.
“Of course. The couch or the bed?” Lexa softly asks, wiping the blonde’s tear stain cheeks.
“The bed. I’m tired. Do you mind staying over tonight? I just don’t want to be alone and Raven is working a night shift. And I need you right now. God I really need you here with me Lexa.” Clarke sobs out, the tears freely flowing again.
“Shh Clarke. I’m here. I’m always here whenever you need me. Come on. Let’s get you to bed.” Lexa gets up from the couch and holds out her hand for Clarke to take. The blonde sniffles a little as Lexa leads her to her own bedroom.
They get to Clarke’s room and the blonde immediately pulls out a pair of joggers and a tank top for Lexa to sleep in. Lexa accepts and strips. Clarke turns a little so Lexa doesn’t see the blush on her face. She gets under the covers of her bed and waits for the brunette. When Lexa gets into the bed, she wordlessly opens her arms and Clarke nuzzles deep into her embrace. It’s like muscle memory. Some things you never forget. And for Lexa and Clarke, their love and affection for one another is never too far away.
Clarke lets out a bitter laugh and Lexa angles her head to see Clarke’s face.
“It’s just so ironic.” Clarke bitterly says.
“What is?”
“My mom is one of the best doctors in the country. People from different states, hell different countries come to her to take out their tumours on a daily basis. And now she has the same thing she’s been fighting against her whole life and she didn’t even know. Nobody knew until it was too late.”
“How far along is it?” Lexa asks, afraid of the answer.
“It’s in her liver, so far nowhere else. Stage 3A. It’s unresectable though. It’s too close to main arteries.” Clarke says in her scientific tone, trying to separate her emotions from the conversation.
“Shit.” Lexa says out of pure frustration. She doesn’t know a lot about science but she does know that unresectable means that they can’t remove the tumors and that’s definitely not god.
“My thoughts exactly.” Clarke releases a watery laugh.
“What are her options?”
“Both her and her doctors agree that the best course of action would be to just completely remove her liver before it spreads.”
“Does that mean...can she survive without a liver?”
“No you need at least a part of your liver.”
“Wait so how can they remove the liver then? Won’t she..” Lexa tapers off, not wanting to say the word ‘die.’
“No. She needs a liver transplant. That’s why I’m going to get tested. But if I’m not a match…God I don’t know. She will need to be put on a transplant list and that might take years. I don’t think she has years Lex. I need to be a match.”
Lexa gulps. Clarke. In surgery. Clarke. Giving up a part of her organ. That’s one of the scariest sentences she’s ever had to process in her life. She doesn’t want to imagine Clarke on an operating table. What about the risks? The complications? What if Clarke…? No. No Lexa can’t go there. People perform these type of surgeries all the time and they’re okay. But still. It’s a major surgery. Lexa understands why she would do it too. Hell, Lexa would do it. However selfishly, she wants her Clarke safe from both emotional and physical harm. Life doesn’t seem to give a damn as to what Lexa wants though.
“Is it dangerous?”
“There are always risks with surgery, even minor ones. But as far as I’m concerned the risks and pain are all worth it if it means my mom can continue living. Lex...I can’t lose another parent. Not like this and not right now.”
Blue stares intensely into green. And Lexa gets it. If she had the chance to save her parents or her brother, she would take it in less than a heartbeat.
“Your mom is a fighter. She will get through this. She will.” Lexa kisses the top of the blonde’s head and whispers sweet assurances to Clarke as she drifts into a deep slumber. Lexa lays awake with Clarke in her arms. She imagined that the next time she had the blonde in her arms asleep, it would be a much different scenario. But alas, life never goes how it’s imagined or planned. Life is messy and tragic and beautiful. But the beauty for Lexa is all because of Clarke and Alex. She needs them and they need her. They are a family and families stick together in times of great trouble. A hurricane is in fact brewing too. And they are in the eye of the storm.