Be Together
7 years ago
Every couple of weeks Lexa plans a cute little adventure for her and Clarke. It’s her way of showing Clarke how much she loves her. This week Lexa decided to take Clarke for a picnic and bike riding at this trail in the country. Clarke loves the outdoors almost as much as Lexa. Lexa is very experienced hiker. She’s the epitome of the outdoorsy type. Lexa was excited to take Clarke to this trail. She always used to go here as a kid with her brother before he died.
“Hey Babe. Can I take this blindfold off?”
Lexa takes one hand of the driver’s wheel presses a kiss to Clarke’s palm before interlacing her long slender fingers with Clarke’s.
“You want to ruin the surprise?”
Lexa fake whines and Clarke huffs.
“Fine but you’ll be wearing this blindfold as payback at a later date.”
If Clarke could see her girlfriend right now, she would see Lexa’s face turn bright red as the older girl visibly gulps at the blonde’s seductive insinuation. Clarke’s raspy voice just does things to her.
“I don’t see that as a punishment Clarke.”
“Oh you just wait and see Woods.”
///
When the girls finish bike riding for two hours later they’re sweaty and spent. Clarke somehow manages to crash into a tree along the way and Lexa winds up carrying the gorgeous blonde in her arms until they reach the top of the hill where Lexa and her brother always used to go to think. Well her brother would go there to think, Lexa was so little she would just play with her dolls and soccer ball. The view is absolutely stunning. Lexa places Clarke down while she sets up the picnic and lays down the blanket. Lexa crawls over to Clarke to inspect the nasty gash on her girlfriend’s leg.
“C’mere baby let me see that.”
Lexa gently examines her love’s leg with all the worry and concern in the world even though she knows very well that Clarke will be okay. Clarke probably won’t even have a scar.
“I’m - fuck ow - I’m fine Lex.”
Lexa looks at Clarke incredulously.
“You’re not fine. Let me take care of you.”
“There are so many other ways I would rather you take care of me.”
There it is again. Clarke’s raspy seductive vocal chords. This girl is going to be the death of her. Lexa leans in and kisses Clarke’s lip sweetly before pulling away to examine the younger girl’s battle wounds from bike riding.
Lexa cleans up the cut with the mini first aid kit she keeps in her backpack whenever they do anything remotely sporty. Somehow Clarke always manages to injure herself so Lexa likes to be prepared to take care of her whenever the situation arises that Clarke trips and falls… which happens to be a lot.
“There baby all better.”
Lexa bandages up Clarke’s cut and kisses her right above the injury on her knee. Clarke hums in approval so her girlfriend continues her assault of kisses up her pale thighs. The blonde throws her head back while her girlfriend moves on top of her now placing her wet lips on her lower stomach, twirling her tongue in the artist’s belly button. Lexa’s hands work to remove Clarke’s top, leaving her in just her sweaty sports bra.
“Lex people could see us.”
“I’ve never seen anyone else on this hill and I’ve been coming here for years.”
“You’re not cumming yet Woods.”
“Oh? You’re cocky today.”
“Are you saying you doubt my abilities?”
“Never.”
Clarke has a glint of mischief in her eyes as she bites down hard on her lip to prevent a smirk from appearing on her mouth. The blonde pulls down Lexa, crashing their lips together and greedily moving her hands all over her lover’s body. Clarke squeezes Lexa’s ass as the older girl begins to grind against Clarke. Lexa sucks hard on the soft skin right below her girlfriend’s ear, causing Clarke to sign out in pleasure.
Lexa’s hands slip under the constricting fabric of Clarke’s sports bra, squeezing and twisting her love’s sensitive nipples. Clarke’s hips buck, eager for more contact. Lexa smirks before releasing Clarke’s large perky breasts. The older girl throws her shirt off and shimmies out of her own jogging shorts before all but tearing Clarke’s tight tight shorts off of her pale creamy body.
“Lex”
Clarke huskily pants out her lover’s name and Lexa swears it’s by far the sexiest thing she’s ever heard in her life.
“Shh let me take care of you baby.”
Clarke nods slightly as Lexa moves down her body to her throbbing sex. Clarke just has to look at her girlfriend for a minute and she’ll already be wet. Lexa has this power over her and she never wants it to end. Before Lexa, Clarke never felt like a sexual being. She never thought she would be as insatiable as she is today, but in came Lexa Woods (pun intended) and her thoughts on sex changed overnight.
Lexa flattened her tongue out and moved up and down exploring Clarke’s folds eagerly but still gently. With Clarke, Lexa has always been a conscious and gentle lover...unless Clarke asked for otherwise. Clarke was already so wet that Lexa groaned out in pleasure, causing vibrations to spike throughout the blonde’s core. Clarke gasps at the new sensation as one of her hands flys to Lexa’s hair, encouraging faster rougher movements. Lexa’s got the message and begins sucking hard on her swollen clit. The younger girl moans and begins a chant of breathy “oh my god yes oh my god oh my god fuck.” Lexa can tell Clarke is so close to cumming so she stops. The blonde huffs and whines at the loss of the warm mouth closing in around her clit.
“Pl-please don’t stop Lex.”
“I want to feel you finish baby. Is that okay?”
Clarke, with flushed pink cheeks, furiously nods and leans up slightly to kiss her girlfriend passionately and sloppily. Teeth clashing together, Lexa giggles at how eager Clarke is. Truthfully, Lexa felt like she was going to explode herself soon. Her dick was so hard it was painful. Lexa took off her boxers and her cock was already leaking with precum. She guided her dick to Clarke’s entrance and began to push in, moaning loudly. Clarke dug her nails into Lexa’s lower back and wrapped her legs around Lexa, allowing the older girl to push in deeper.
“Harder Lex.”
The couple was completely lost in their own world of unadulterated lust and wanton desire the thought of protection barely crossed either of their minds. Lexa began to rut harshly into the girl squirming beneath her. She was so beautiful. Lexa used one elbow to prop herself up as the other hand snaked down Clarke’s sweaty body to her clit which desperately ached for contact. Lexa rubbed soft circles and then up and down just like Clarke liked it. Clarke threw her head back on the soft blanket beneath them and came hard around Lexa’s throbbing member. Lexa shut her eyes and tightly clenched her jaw, desperately trying not to come no matter how much she wanted to. Once Clarke came down from her high Lexa could feel herself starting to spurt out cum and quickly pulled out before she fully came all over Clarke’s sex and lower stomach.
Lexa collapsed onto Clarke’s body. Both sweaty and spent and now very sticky.
“I’m sorry for the mess. I -”
Clarke pulled at Lexa’s chin and pecked her lover’s lips sweetly.
“Don’t be sorry that was fucking hot.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes Lex.”
Lexa smugly smirked and whispered in Clarke’s ear.
“I told you I’d take care of you.”
Clarke laughed out loud and looked into her favorite emerald green eyes.
“You definitely did that.. I love you so much.”
“I love you too Klark.”
The two girls laid in each other’s arms for a few more minutes before Lexa got up and cleaned her essence off of Clarke and herself. They got dressed and Clarke cuddled into the older girl’s arms. Lexa swears she’s never felt as at peace than in that seemingly insignificant moment. Neither girls could have realized that this moment wasn't as insignificant as they initially thought as this was the moment their lives would forever change. This was the time where they joined together and made their little Alexandria.
///
Lexa wakes up a little after 8 a.m. since it was Sunday she decided she could sleep in. On weekdays even when she didn’t have work, Lexa wakes up at 5:30 a.m. for a two hour workout session. Lexa always took her fitness regime very seriously. Sundays were the only days she lets her body have the extra few hours of rest. The brunette busied herself cooking a healthy breakfast, paying her bills, and cleaning up her messy apartment. She felt very productive and motivated today after her day out with Clarke, Alex, and Raven.
Lexa subconsciously touches her cheek again, swearing that she can still feel the faint touch of Clarke’s perfect lips pressing against her skin. Logically, she knows that there’s no way she can still feel Clarke’s touch but it’s nice to imagine. After 7 years of desperately wishing to feel Clarke’s lips against her skin once more, she’s content. More than content actually. Clarke is opening up to her.. even if it’s just a little.
Around 11 a.m. Lexa is dancing around her apartment in her underwear, blasting music and cleaning up the beer bottles littering her living room. Her phone chimes and when she realizes who has texted her, the girl’s smile is as radiant as ever.
[From Clarke 11:19 A.M.] - Hey Lex. I’m taking Alex to the park in a bit. We go every Sunday. It’s a little tradition of ours. Care to join us?
Lexa melts at her ex’s message. Clarke is inviting her to join them on one of the blonde and Alex's traditions. Lexa feels like she’s actually a part of the family and not just a third person party looking in. In that moment, Lexa feels much more complete than she has in quite some time. Lexa quickly responds with a yes and asking where and when before she throws on some shorts and a t shirt.
Clarke and Alex are already at the park when Lexa arrives. Lexa decided to walk to meet her two favorite girls because the park was literally two blocks away from her apartment. The idea that every Sunday Clarke and Alex were only two blocks away from her sends shivers down her spine and she briefly curses herself for being such a coward for 6 months. It’s 6 months she’ll never get back.
“Mommy! You came.”
Alex sprints with all her might and jumps into Lexa’s arms. Lexa catches the girl and tickles her. Clarke looks on from the swing she’s sitting on smiling at her daughter and ex lover. The sight before her warms her heart. Despite the drama of the past month or so, she’s glad Lexa is back in her and Alex’s life. Alex hangs on Lexa’s every word. It’s actually very cute. Clarke always saw the resemblances and similarities between Lexa and Alex but to see them side by side is a totally different experience. Lexa walks over to Clarke smiling with Alex on her back giggling.
“Hey Clarke. Thanks for inviting me.”
“Of course. Long time no see Lex.”
Lexa laughed since they saw each other yesterday but Clarke meant her words.. It’s only been a few hours since the blonde has seen her ex but she missed her. It’s scary for Clarke to admit that..even if she is just admitting it to herself. Yesterday Clarke felt like they were a little family and just for the day she allowed herself to imagine what their life could have looked like if Lexa never left. And then last night when Lexa put Alex to bed it really felt like they were a little family. Clarke felt such an intense pull to Lexa. A magnetic attraction that never really left but she never allowed herself to feel again...until last night. Clarke doesn’t know what it all means and she’s not going to pretend to have the answers. All she knows is that a few days ago she was hell bent on never giving Lexa a second chance romantically and now...well now she’s not so sure.
Alex runs off to go climb the monkey bars with some of the other kids on the playground while her parents go and sit on a bench nearby. Alex can see her mommies laughing, only taking their eyes off of each other to check and make sure Alex was okay. Alex decided she loved her new mommy and she already knows she loves her mama. She wants them to be together like Jasper’s daddies. She decides that she’s going to try and get them together one way or another. Alex mischievously grins to herself before running off to the slides to play some more.
“So Lincoln and O are having a party for Bellamy’s birthday on Saturday at their old Blake lake house. I told Linc I would invite you. Lots of booze. It’s an overnight thing. There’s plenty of room for everyone. The whole gang will be there. Alex is going to stay with my mom. What do ya say? Are you in Woods?”
“Yes of course. I’d love to go. Bellamy wasn’t at that reunion a few weeks ago. How is he doing? Still dating Echo?”
“He’s good. He’s a cop now. Him and Echo ended things a few weeks into their freshman year at college.”
“Wow that was a short lived romance. Is he seeing anyone now or did he go back to his player ways?”
Lexa smirked thinking about the good ole days when Bellamy Blake was a bigger partyer and player than Lexa… and that’s saying something. He would sleep with multiple girls a week. Bellamy wasn’t a heartbreaker though. Everyone knew he wanted one thing and because of that nobody expected a text from him the next day. That was until Echo at least. Echo and him started dating in spring of their senior year. Lexa assumed that Echo was Bellamy’s Clarke, that Echo was the girl that taught him he was worthy of love. And maybe she was but now they’re done.
Clarke shifts uncomfortably on the bench a tad and pushes her hair behind her ear. Lexa wonders briefly if Clarke and Bel had a falling out of sorts because Clarke doesn’t look like she wants to talk about the older Blake.
“He’s not a player anymore. He dates here and there. Being a cop is his focus now.”
Lexa can tell that Clarke isn’t saying something but she chooses to ignore it for now. She doesn’t want to push Clarke. The duo goes back to talking about Alex for a bit before Clarke starts asking Lexa some more personal questions.
“So how’s work going at the fire station?”
Clarke has decided she wants to get to know Lexa again. Not just because she’s Alex’s other mother but because she’s Lexa Woods, her first love, her only love. If all they can be our friends after she learns about Lexa again then that’s okay too. But she has to take a step in the right direction. She can’t keep shutting Lexa out no matter how much she wants to.
Lexa is taken aback by Clarke’s curious gaze and soft question. Clarke was asking about her and it seemed to be less about making sure she’s a good role model for Alex and more about just wanting to know for herself. Lexa smiles as hope for a new tomorrow with Clarke blossoms in her chest.
“It’s pretty good actually. We haven’t lost anyone in awhile. It’s always tough when you can’t save them.”
Clarke nods understandingly because she gets that more than anyone. As an ER nurse, Clarke sees death more often than most. It’s hard to not let it affect you.
“I know how you feel. I lost a patient a few days ago. He was 25 years old. Died from injuries he sustained working overtime at a construction site to help pay for his little sister’s college tuition. It was one of those cases you don’t forget.”
Lexa places her hand on Clarke’s bare knee as a means to soothe the younger girl. The gesture changes the air between the two girls though. The same electric charge they felt in the kitchen last night is back and both girls’ hearts our beating faster than ever.
“I’m sorry Clarke.”
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”
“Still. I hope you know that I’m here for you. I know my track record for being here for you is pretty shit but I plan on making it up to you...that is if you’ll let me.”
Clarke stares into Lexa’s eyes as if she’s gauging the older girl’s sincerity for what feels like forever. Lexa is about to move her hand from Clarke’s knee when the blonde places her hand on Lexa’s and joins their hands yet again. Lexa’s heartbeat picks up as she stares at their hands connect for the second time this weekend. This feels too good to be true. This feels amazing and perfect and Lexa knows she has to work much harder to gain back Clarke’s trust but at least now she feels like Clarke might be open to the idea of a ‘them’ someday.
“I think…”
Clarke closes her eyes and shakes her head subtly. Lexa knows the blonde does this when she’s frustrated and can’t figure out how to phrase what she’s feeling. The older brunette patiently although also quite nervously waits for the love of her life’s response.
“I do want to trust you Lexa. God you don’t know how much I want that. But I’m not there yet..I don’t know if I’ll ever be there but I...I’m willing to try again and give us a-”
“Lexa!”
Clarke and Lexa are startled by the interruption of their conversation. Lexa is very annoyed at whoever decided to interrupt them because she can already see Clarke shutting down in front of her eyes again. Clarke looks behind her at presumably whoever called her named and retracts her hand from Lexa’s. Lexa inwardly whimpers at the loss and turns her head to see none other than Luna Paz jogging towards them in nothing but a sports bra and running shorts.
Luna pulls out her earbuds and brightly smiles at Lexa before looking over at Clarke curiously.
“Lexa I thought that was you!”
Lexa smiled back at Luna even though she was slightly pissed that the curly haired girl interrupted her very important conversation with Clarke. Clarke not so subtly looked Luna up and down, silently wondering how Lexa knew this half naked toned woman. She could only hope it was platonically.
“Hello Luna.”
Luna directed her attention over to the blonde standing next to Lexa. The blue eyed woman was undoubtedly gorgeous. Luna was pretty confident that Lexa was single but now she wasn’t so sure. The petite blonde was politely smiling but Luna could tell from her eyes that she was annoyed at the interruption. Still though, Luna doesn’t give up her chance with an amazing girl like Lexa Woods without a fight. If Luna found out that Lexa was dating this blonde bombshell then she would back off but if not..well then Luna would love a chance with the green eyed beauty before her.
“Hi I’m Luna. I’m good friends with Lexa and we work together at the fire station. And you are?”
Luna held out her hand and Clarke smiled and shook it.
“Clarke Griffin.”
“Nice to meet you Clarke.”
“Likewise.”
“So what brings you guys to a playground? Lexa, I never pegged you for the babysitting type.”
Clarke frowned slightly. If Luna was Lexa’s good friend, why doesn’t she know about their daughter? Clarke had a weird feeling in her stomach and she doesn’t like it one bit.
“Actually we are here with our daughter.”
Lexa pointed to little Alex sliding down the slide with another girl giggling and waving at her mommies. Luna looked back at Lexa and Clarke and tried to mask her surprise. So Lexa Woods had a kid with this blonde woman. Luna always knew Lexa was tight lipped about her personal life, she just didn’t realize how much she didn’t know.
“Oh...wow.. I uh didn’t realize you had a daughter. Lexa Woods! How could you not tell me that you had a daughter and a girlfriend? I’m pretty sure the Lexa Woods I know is single.”
Luna winks and looks over at the blonde for a reaction. The blonde looks pissed and Lexa looks almost impassive but Luna can tell by how Lexa’s eyes widen just a tad that she is mortified by what Luna has just said. Truth be told, if Lexa wasn’t single this whole time and was sleeping around with other women, then her girlfriend deserves to know. If not and her and this Clarke Griffin weren’t together, then all the better for Luna.
“Um I - uh we...we aren’t um -”
“What Lexa is trying to say is that we aren’t together.”
“Ahh see I knew Lexa Woods couldn’t be tamed. Well listen I’m gonna finish this run but I will see you tomorrow at work. You better come out drinking with us afterwards, I miss my drinking buddy. You’re always the life of the party when you come out and play.”
Lexa is fuming when Luna throws her another wink and pecks her cheek before sprinting off. She kissed her cheek. The same cheek Clarke had kissed last night. The older brunette didn’t get tingles when Luna kissed her as Clarke did a few hours prior. Not anything remotely close. Lexa is afraid to look over at Clarke. Surely the girl misinterpreted Luna’s flirty behavior. Shit. This was really bad. Lexa felt everything around her crumbling. She isn’t sure what Clarke was about to say to her before Luna interrupted them but she is almost 100 percent sure it wasn’t bad news. She could tell by looking into Clarke’s piercing blue eyes that she had hope too. But now. Now she doesn’t know.
Clarke feels stupid. She remembers what Lexa was like before they got together. She partied hard and slept around...a lot. Luna basically just confirmed that Lexa and her were something. Clarke’s head was swirling around with assumptions and images of Lexa and Luna together. Clarke doesn’t want to assume things but how could she not? Luna was blatantly flirting with Lexa and was very handsy, not to mention that kiss on the cheek. Clarke wonders if they’ve slept together. No. Clarke refuses to go there. It was naive to think that Lexa and her would ever work again.
“Clarke I’m so sorry about that Luna just erm doesn’t have a filter. Can we go back to the conversation we were having before?”
“It’s okay Lexa. You don’t owe me an explanation. You can be with whoever you want. I think it's about time I take Alex home for lunch.”
“No wait! Clarke please!”
Clarke gets up off the bench and starts walking towards Alex when Lexa gently grabs her wrist, spinning her around. Clarke, being the clumsy human she is, stumbles a bit and falls into Lexa. Both girls falls half on the bench half on the hard concrete. Lexa tightly holds onto Clarke and maneuvers them so that she takes the brunt of the fall. Clarke quickly moves off of her and starts checking Lexa for any injuries. Lexa laughs at Clarke’s nurse mode kicking in. Alex sees her mommies on the floor and runs over to save the day.
“Mama! Mommy! You okay?!”
“Clarke helps Lexa up as she dusts herself off.
“Yes Alex, me and your mama are fine. Don’t worry Princess.”
Lexa sits on the bench and winces in pain just a tad. Any other person wouldn’t notice Lexa’s discomfort, but any other person isn’t Clarke Griffin.
“Turn around Woods.”
“What? Clarke I’m telling you I’m fine.”
“And I’m telling you to turn around.”
“Klark.”
“Lexa.”
Alex whispers in Lexa’s ear.
“If I were you mommy, I would listen to mama. That’s her sewious [serious] voice.”
Lexa chuckles slightly and finally gives in. Clarke gasps slightly when she sees the fresh bleeding cuts littering Lexa’s legs. Alex is overwhelmed by the red liquid dripping on her mommy’s legs. The only other time she’s seen that much blood was when Auntie Raven let her watch that scary movie secretly.
“MAMA! MOMMY IS HURT. PLEASE DON’T LET HER DIE. TAKE HER TO 911.”
Alex starts crying and Lexa and Clarke feel their heart break a little for the girl as both of them. The two adults are trying so hard not to laugh at Alex's overdramatic reaction because Lexa’s cuts are not life threatening nor serious in any capacity. But hey, their little girl is 6 years old and Clarke will admit there is a decent amount of blood on Lexa’s legs.
“Aw Princess I’m fine. I promise I’m not going anywhere okay?”
“Pwomise?”
“I promise.”
Alex sniffles a bit as Lexa bends down and wipes away her tears. Clarke bends down as well and envelops their little girl in her arms. Clarke peppers kisses all over Alex’s face until their daughter giggles and forgets all about her worries and tear stained cheeks.
“Mama stoppit stoppit.”
Clarke stops her assault of kisses and cups Alex’s cheeks who is catching her breath from all her laughing.
“Baby your mommy is fine. I take care of hurt people for a living, I know these things. Okay?”
“Okay mama.”
“Oh and Alex.. if you’re mommy was hurt we would take her to the hospital or call 911. We don’t take her to 911, that’s a phone number sweetie.”
Lexa bursted out laughing at Clarke’s words. Alex was so adorable. Clarke laughs a little as well before picking Alex up and grabbing Lexa’s hand. Lexa is confused but decides to go along with it.
“Clarke..where are we going?”
“You’re bleeding Lexa. Let me take care of you.”
“Clarke you don’t have to do that. I’m fine.”
Ignoring Lexa’s words, Clarke places Alex in her car seat and buckles her up before popping the trunk of her car and grabbing her first aid kit. Clarke gives Alex her phone and the six year old pops in some earphones and starts watching some Disney show on Netflix. Clarke silently motions for Lexa to sit on the seat with the towel laid out so that she doesn’t get blood everywhere. Lexa says that her apartment is only two blocks away so Clarke drives them to the older girl’s address. All three of them climbs up the stairs. Lexa turns on the TV for Alex and gives her some orange juice she had in her fridge. Lexa leads Clarke into her bedroom and Clarke silently motions for Lexa to lay flat on her stomach. Clarke takes out her first aid kit she had in her car and begins to clean up Lexa’s cuts.
“This is ridiculous I’m fine.”
Clarke leans over Lexa’s body and whispers in the older brunette’s ear.
“Let me take care of you like you used to take care of me please.”
Lexa gulps and shakily nods her head. Clarke hums while she does her work. Lexa doesn’t even make a sound when Clarke pours the rubbing alcohol on her open wounds. They aren’t deep at all. Just a series of scrapes. Clarke is positive they won’t even leave a scar. The blonde nurse puts bandages on the bigger cuts and cleans up the wrappers.
“All done.”
Lexa, who is now weak in the knees for a whole other reason, slowly gets up from the bed. Lexa and Clarke are now standing a mere few inches from one another. They’re so close they can feel each other’s breath mixing.
“Thank you Klark.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“Clarke listen Luna and I are nothing more than friends. I don’t know why I feel the need to tell you that but I do. I know you’re not ready and you might never be but I just want you to know that I’m waiting for you. Nobody will compare to you.”
Clarke breaks their gaze and looks to the floor to hide her watery eyes. Damnit. She promised herself she would never cry in front of Lexa Woods again and here she is doing just that. Bravely, Lexa takes a step forward and presses their foreheads together while softly wiping Clarke’s tears away.
“Don’t cry.” Lexa gently whispers, feeling her own tears coming.
Clarke is trying so hard to ignore the erratic beating of her heart. After meeting Luna, she’s positive that being with Lexa again will only break her heart. She knows Lexa would never cheat, that’s not the issue. The issue is that Clarke never thought she was good enough for Lexa. Even when they were kids. Clarke was wildly insecure that Lexa would one day get up and leave her for someone better. After a while those fears dissipated as their love grew. But then one of her biggest fears came to pass. Lexa left her. How does Clarke know that Lexa won't find someone better than her? What if that person is Luna? The blonde doesn’t want to hold her ex lover back.
They’re different people from when they were teenagers. Clarke still has trust issues and as long as that’s an issue, they could never be together. So no matter how much Clarke wants to kiss Lexa right now, she knows she can’t. She has to think of her daughter.. and for once she has to think of herself. She can’t take another hurricane Lexa barrelling through her life, destroying everything she’s built (including the walls around her heart).
Clarke’s eyes are tightly shut as the younger girl focuses on steadying her breathing as a last ditch effort to stop the tears from flowing so freely. Lexa cups ex’s cheeks and quietly whispers to Clarke.
“Open your eyes Klark.”
Clarke opens her eyes slowly. When she sees Lexa’s emerald green pools emanating such love and sadness she knows she’s a goner. Every fear she has no longer is in the front of her mind. Every reason for staying away from Lexa Woods escapes her.
Lexa follows Clarke’s eyes, which land on her lips. Lexa desperately wants to kiss her love once more. She’s not sure how Clarke will react but she realizes this might be her only shot. It’s not perfect timing. Their daughter is watching some kid show one room away. Her legs are stinging from the rubbing alcohol Clarke doused her scrapes with a few minutes ago. And they’re both crying. It’s nowhere near perfect but it feels right. Lexa leans in, her plump lips ghosting over Clarke’s. It’s now or never, she tells herself.
Clarke knows she shouldn’t do this but for the life of her she can’t remember why. When Lexa leans in, the blonde loses all self control and tenderly presses her lips against Lexa’s. The kiss is racked with almost a decade’s worth of a emotions. Both girls are now sobbing. Clarke is sucking hard on Lexa’s lip as the older girl tangles her hands in Clarke’s blonde soft wavy hair. Clarke grabs at Lexa’s waist pulling her impossibly closer. The kiss like that for a few more minutes until Lexa gently nudges Clarke’s nose with her own, changing positions of the kiss. Right before their lips meet again, Clarke takes a step back. It takes a minute for Lexa to realize Clarke has broken the kiss but once she notices the distance between them, her green eyes flutter open and fill to the brim with confusion and dejection.
Lexa feels defeated and rejected. Clarke must not have felt it. She must not have felt the undeniable pull Lexa had. What if Clarke didn’t feel the same explosion of emotions Lexa did when they kissed for the first time after being apart for so many years? What if Clarke didn’t like it? What if Clarke didn’t love her anymore? The tears began to flow again. Clarke pulled at Lexa’s chin so that green met blue.
“Look at me Lex. I’m not ready to be with you..”
Lexa broke their gazes and sadly nodded with her eyes focused on her feet.
“Not yet. I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know what to feel. I need time to figure this all out. I don’t expect you to wait for me. I know you said you would but I don’t want you to. You deserve better than that.”
“Klark I love you.”
Clarke gasped and shook her head, trying to choke back the sob she felt coming.
“Lexa please don’t.”
“Don’t what? The only thing I have left is the truth. I love you. I fucking love you. I love the dimple right above your lip. I love your eyes because even when you shut down on me I know what you’re feeling thanks to those gorgeous blue eyes. I love how modest you are. You are always the first to compliment someone and the last one to accept praise about yourself. I love your laugh. Not the laugh reserved for coworkers and acquaintances. No. I’m talking about that loud cackle that causes you to shake to your very core. I love the sounds you make when I make you cum. I love how furiously you just blushed when I said the word ‘cum.’ I love how kind and compassionate you are. I love how understanding you have been since I’ve come back in your life. I love how amazing you are of a mother to our daughter. I love you Clarke Griffin. You might not feel the same way anymore and if that’s the truth, I’ll wholeheartedly respect that.. But I can’t lie anymore and say I don’t love you because lying about loving you would be the second worst thing I’ve ever done in my life..and as you know, I’ve done some shit things. I’m going to wait for you because I want to. And if the day never comes where you’re willing to give me a second chance then that’s okay too. I just know in my heart that there’s nobody out there that will compare to you and I won’t try and fool myself into believing otherwise.”
“Lex..I - I don’t know what to say. I -”
“Shh you don’t have to say anything. There’s no pressure here. Take the time you need to figure out what you feel.”
Clarke nods and starts to turn towards the door when she turns back around just as suddenly and throws her arms around Lexa. Lexa, shocked by the surprise but not unwelcomed embrace, takes a second or two to finally hug back. Clarke whispers in her ear.
“Thank you Lex.”
“I should be the one thanking you for helping fix me up.”
Lexa lightly jokes to ease the intense air in the room. Lexa inhales deeply. Clarke’s hair smells like paint and linens just like it always did. Clarke must have been painting earlier today.
“I was just returning the favor for all the times you took care of me.”
Clarke then presses her lips hard to Lexa’s cheek before walking away and not looking back. Alex popped in the room and hugged her mommy goodbye, completely oblivious to the obvious tension in the room. Then Lexa’s two favorite girls in the world left and the apartment was silent except for Lexa’s deafeningly loud thoughts. She had no clue what any of this meant. She knew she was going to overanalyze this so she decided to pop in the shower before calling Lincoln to ask for his opinion. Lexa was so emotionally exhausted before today but fuck Clarke Griffin’s lips on her shocked her alive once more.