You've Got a Friend In Me
7 years ago
It was Octavia’s turn to take on Clarke duty. Ever since Lexa left leaving only a much too short voicemail in her wake, Clarke has been a mess. It pained the younger Blake to see her blonde best friend in so much pain. The first few days Clarke was confused and in denial. Actually everyone was. Lexa was in love with Clarke. Head over heels in love. They didn’t call her Commander Heart Eyes for nothing. There love was one for the books. Lexa wouldn’t just abandon Clarke like that. Would she? To a stranger’s eye, Lexa was intimidating as hell but to their group, she was all sweet and gooey. She was the biggest romantic sap any of them have ever met. She would take Clarke out on weekly dates and planned a monthly romantic rendezvous. Everyone envied Clarke and Lexa's relationship. What happened to make the girl get up and leave everything she's ever known and wanted behind?
After the denial passed, Clarke was determined to find the older brunette. She was pissed. How could Lexa leave her like that? No forwarding address? It didn’t make sense. Lexa put a down payment on the apartment they were going to share in a year’s time. The day before Lexa disappeared, the two girls spent the day making love and watching movies. It didn’t make sense. Clarke quickly went from pissed to worried. What if something bad happened to her love? She went to the police but since Lexa and Anya were over 18 and Lexa left Clarke that voicemail telling her she was leaving, the cops didn’t do shit. So Clarke was out of options. She enlisted the tech whizzes of the group Raven and Monty to help her trace Lexa’s phone as a last ditch effort. Days on days end, Clarke was holed up with Raven and Monty trying to find her girlfriend but eventually the blonde realized Lexa didn’t want to be found. She was defeated and more importantly, broken.
So here Octavia was trying to cheer up her best friend to no avail. For the past three weeks Clarke has barely left her room. She’s barely eaten or slept. The poor girl is making herself sick. If Lexa ever comes back to town, Octavia swears she will make her pay for leaving Clarke in shambles. Lexa was suppose to be their friend, their family and she just left with little to no word. Lincoln is heartbroken too. He seems all tough but his girlfriend sees right through the facade. Just like Clarke, the tall brooding boy wears his heart on his sleeve. Lexa has broken the two hearts of two of the people she holds most dear in her life and that’s definitely not going to fly for Octavia Blake. Not at all.
///
“Hey Clarkey!”
“Hey Tav!”
Clarke goes to hug her best friend before scooting into their favorite booth at their favorite diner on the edge of Polis. After Lexa left, Octavia used to take Clarke on long drives to try and distract the blonde girl. They would always end up at the border of Polis at this very diner eating cheese and gravy fries at all hours of the night.
The two girls decided to make it a little tradition to go grab breakfast here whenever they can, but with their busy schedules their diner meetups have become less and less unfortunately. Octavia wanted to check in on her best friend though. She knows how rough it must be on the nurse to have her ex back in her life. Octavia was there for all the chaos Lexa left in her wake. She doesn’t understand how the whole group can seemingly forgive Lexa overnight. Did they forget about the state Clarke was in after the older brunette abandoned her? Octavia certainly didn’t.
“I’ve missed this little ole dingy diner.”
“I’ve missed their cheese and gravy fries.”
“Oh god I haven’t had those since I was pregnant with Alex.”
“It’s crazy how big she’s getting. I miss my little niece. Lincoln said she scored the winning goal at yesterday’s game!”
“Yeah she did! She was so excited.”
“Lincoln also told me Lexa was there.”
Clarke looked up from her menu and pinched the bridge of her nose before softly sighing. She knows Octavia is looking out for her. She knows how protective her best friend is and she appreciates it to no end. She really does. But things are so complicated right now with Lexa. Her head is telling her one thing and her heart is telling her another. She really doesn’t want to talk about her feelings for the older brunette right now because she’s not sure what they are herself. Lexa fucked up, true. But she only left to protect her family, to protect Clarke. Then again, Lexa also waited a whole year to contact her after it became apparent it was safe to do so. Did Lexa care that little about her that she couldn’t be bothered to contact her? Her ex could have at least let her know she was still alive and kicking. Clarke is just a ball of varied emotions right now. She can’t even begin to think about herself. She needs to focus on Alex.
“She was.”
“And how did that go?”
“I know what you’re thinking O.”
“What am I thinking?”
“You’re thinking it’s a mistake to let her back into our lives.”
“You’re right I am thinking that.”
“Octavia you don’t under-”
“No sweetie I want you to listen to me for a quick minute.. I was here when Lexa left you. Now I know you say she had a good reason and maybe she does but she still broke you Clarke. You had to give up being a doctor to be a single mother. And I’m not saying anything bad about you having Alex. That girl is the best part of my days. I know she’s your whole world and you wouldn’t change a damn thing and I wouldn’t let you. But if Lexa was here, maybe you could have tried med school a few years later. Maybe you would have had enough support to give your dream a chance. She left you alone to raise your daughter. She left you and now she comes back 7 years later with sad puppy dog eyes and you let her back in with no reservations? I know Alex deserves to know her other mother. I do know that. But I don’t want to see you get your heart broken again. Because if anyone could break through the tough skin you’ve built around your heart, it would be Lexa Woods. And I don’t trust her. I had to pick you up off the bathroom floor that night all those years ago when you found out you were pregnant, Clarke. I had to change you clothes and wipe away your tears. I was the one who hummed a lullaby until you fell asleep in my arms from the sheer emotional and physical exhaustion of it all. And I was there before that and every day after. So don’t forget the past just because Lexa is making grand promises to be a better person and to never leave. Because she made all those promises once before and broke every single one of them. How can you be sure history won't repeat itself?”
///
7 years ago
Octavia was sitting in Clarke’s room as the blonde was in the attached bathroom fixing herself up a little. Octavia, Raven, and Jake were the only ones that could get Clarke out of her bed. The weekends were Jake’s days. Mondays and Tuesdays were Octavia’s days. Wednesdays and Thursdays were Raven’s days. And Fridays were Raven and Octavia’s joint day. The group never wanted to leave Clarke alone. They were starting to really get nervous for Clarke. Summer was nearing it’s end and she was still in a state of utter and complete despair. They have never seen the girl so broken.
Clarke came out dressed in actual clothes.. not pajamas. Maybe Clarke was finally getting a little better. But something didn’t seem right. Clarke looked anxious, nervous even. Her eyes were red and swollen and she was staring anywhere but in Octavia’s eyes. Something was off with her best friend.
“Clarkey are you okay?”
“I need to go out.”
“Okay...where do you want to go?”
“The pharmacy.”
“Alright. Are you sick?”
“No.”
“Okay then why do we need to go to the pharmacy?”
Clarke looked up at Octavia and the younger Blake knew. Clarke looked so lost. She looked even more broken than she has in the past few weeks. Her bottom lip was trembling as the blonde tried so damn hard to keep the tears at bay. Clarke’s whole body was shaking.
“I’m...I’m.. I think I might be...”
Clarke can barely get a few words out before her body gives out and she collapses onto the tiles of the bathroom floor. Octavia reacts in record time and catches her right before she falls hard. Clarke’s sobbing against her shoulder as the younger Blake slowly and gently moves them to the floor. Octavia felt the wind knocked out of her. Fuck. Her best friend was alone.. and pregnant.
“Shh shh it’s okay you’re okay. You’re gonna be okay. You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”
Clarke tightly clung to Octavia hysterically crying for over an hour. By the time she stopped it was only because her throat was hoarse and irritated and she had no tears left to cry. The blonde’s eyes were drooping and Octavia could tell sleep was taking over the girl’s body. Clarke’s grip on her shirt lessened as she nuzzled further in Octavia’s neck. Octavia picked up the exhausted fast asleep girl and carried her to the bed. She tugged off her best friend's uncomfortable jeans and tight tank top and replaced them with loose pajama shorts and a old baggy t shirt. They would go to the pharmacy in the morning but right now Clarke needed her rest. Clarke stirred a little, waking up. Octavia just held the girl and hummed soothing tunes until Clarke fell asleep again. Octavia could give her best friend one night more of peaceful dreaming before her whole world was turned upside yet again. No matter what was about to happen, Octavia promised herself right there and then she would always be there for the sleeping girl laying beside her.
///
Clarke remembers the day she found out she was pregnant as if it was yesterday. She was barely a person at that point. She wasn’t even taking care of herself. Octavia, Raven, her parents, and the rest of her friends were all taking shifts watching her. She was a shell of a person. She felt numb. Then she realized she was three weeks late. Three fucking weeks. Her life was a mess, she wasn’t paying attention to things like food, showering, her period cycle. But once she realized it, she finally felt something after a whole summer of nothing but a pit of everlasting emptiness. Clarke was scared shitless and heartbroken that she would have to raise this baby on her own. Once Clarke allowed herself to feel again, the floodgates opened.
Everything she was holding in finally came out and Octavia was there to metaphorically and literally pick her up off the floor. Octavia and Raven drove her to every doctor’s appointment. Octavia specifically became very protective of pregnant Clarke. When strangers on the street tried to put their hands all over Clarke’s stomach, Octavia politely but firmly steered their hands away. Octavia planned her baby shower (since Raven would have probably planned something at a strip club or something). Octavia glared at anyone who gave Clarke a sideway glance in school once she started getting bigger. The younger Blake was there for Clarke when Lexa wasn’t. Octavia became her protector when she needed someone to lean on and her best friend seems to have never given up the title.
“I love you O. All those years ago you said you would always be here and you kept your word. You and Rae have never left my side. You guys were there when I delivered Alexandria. You and Lincoln were there when she said her first word. You were there when she took her first steps. You’ve been the best aunt and sister I could have ever imagined having. You gave me your strength when I had no fight left in me and I can’t thank you enough. I’ve always trusted your word so I need you to trust me now. Lexa fucked up. Lexa broke my heart. Lexa wasn’t around and I had to raise our child alone up until now. All these things are true. But Lexa didn’t have a choice. She wouldn’t have left me and she certainly wouldn’t have abandoned Alex. You should see how she looks at Alex, O. You should see the way Alex looks at her. Whether you like it or not, Lexa is a part of my family because of Alex. She’s going to be a permanent fixture in my life now. She’s Alex’s mom. This time she’s here to stay. I need you to accept that.”
Octavia looked hesitant but her eyes softened just enough that Clarke could tell she broke through her best friend’s walls at least a little. Octavia wanted what was best for Clarke and Alex. If Clarke could just prove to Octavia that Lexa was the best thing for them (or for Alex at least), then her best friend would (reluctantly) let Lexa back in her life.
“Okay. I trust you with my life. I trust your word Clarke. Just please… I know you’re doing what’s best for Alex but look out for yourself too. Lexa has always been your weakness. Protect your heart Clarke.”
“I promise O. I don’t have any intention of pursuing a relationship with Lexa again. Besides it’s been 7 years, I’ve changed and so has she. It wouldn’t even work if I wanted it to.”
All Octavia heard was excuses. The younger Blake was always observant and she knew Clarke and Raven better than she knew herself. Clarke was shaking her head and biting her lip. Even if Clarke didn’t realize it yet, she was already falling back in love with Lexa. And if Octavia was being really honest, she doesn’t think Clarke ever stopped falling for the younger Woods. Octavia was never one to invest much in blind hope, but she knew this one was out of her hands. There are some things she can’t protect her family from. She can only blindly hope that Lexa doesn’t prove her wrong again. Octavia rarely gives out second chances and she never gives out thirds. She'll give Woods another chance though for the sake of her best friend and niece.
“Mhm we’ll see about that one Griffin. Now let’s order! All this heavy shit is making me hungry as fuck.”
And the protective sentimental Octavia is replaced with the vulgar blunt version of her best friend that Clarke knows and loves.