Baby Steps
Lexa wasn’t surprised that Clarke managed to sleep uninterrupted for the remainder of the day. Raven’s idea seemed to be holding Clarkes’ demons at bay for the time being. When night fell, Lexa curled up under the furs, holding Clarke gently against her chest and smiling at the sleepy purr she got in response to the contact.
Clarke woke up to an empty bed. As she sat up to look around she noted the cloudy sky and hoped it was going to rain. While she scanned the room she froze at the sight of Nia sitting lazily in one of Lexa’s chairs near the balcony
“L-Lexa…!” Clarke called shakily, rising from the furs. Nia smirked.
“The Commander can’t hear you, skai girl. She’s all the way in Polis, her beloved capital.” Nia sneered.
“N-No… I’m in Polis… The commanders chambers… Y-you’re dead… Sh-She killed you… They saved me…” Clarke began. Nia laughed.
“Really? Is that what you think? You’re farther gone than I thought. Why then, can’t you remember leaving your cell? You never left. You’re here in the prison of the Azgeda. In my castle. You’re mine skai girl. The commander will never want you.” Nia cackled. Clarke hesitated. She couldn’t remember being brought out of the palace. She only remembers waking up in Polis.
“I do believe it’s Ontari’s turn to play with you now, skai girl.” Nia yawned sounding bored. Clarke reached for the dagger on her thigh. As Ontari startled her from behind, Clarke managed to thrust her dagger at the girl, slicing her cheek. Ontari hissed in pain, putting her fingers over the wound. She rubbed the black blood between them and snarled, looking to Nia who nodded and called for the guards. While Clarke was distracted, Ontari knocked the blade from her hands and pinned her on her stomach.
“To the post.” Nia ordered and Clarke felt two warriors lift her from the floor and drag her to the wooden cross held perpendicular to the floor. The tightened the leather cuffs around her wrists to the horizontal beam and then secured her ankles with the cuffs to the long end of the vertical one. Clarke squirmed and begged for them to stop as the cut her shirt and forced a bit of leather into her mouth as a gag. Clarke heard the whip before she felt it but this one was different. This time it was a long link of chain. The metal burned against her back as it cut into her flesh. She lost count of the lashes as she began to black out. Before she could, Nia called for it to stop and Clarke was unbound. She slumped against the wood and fell off to the side, landing in a bloody heap.
“I will break you skai girl. Just you wait. No one is going to save you, you’re mine.” Nia snarled, crouching down to her level before stalking away. Clarke was thrown roughly back into her cell and the door was slammed behind her.
“…arke! Clarke! CLARKE!” Clarke heard from a distance. She felt a firm hold on her forearms.
“Clarke! Beja, come back! Clarke!” She heard Lexa call worriedly.
“L-Lex…” Clarke whispered as the commanders’ quarters suddenly came back around her. Lexa sat on her knees in front of her, warm hands firmly gripping her forearms.
“Thank the flame she’s starting to come back… Clarke, look at me.” Lexa sighed relieved. Clarke pulled away from Lexa and scooted back, panic and tears filling blue eyes.
“No no no no…” Clarke whimpered.
“Clarke?” Lexa asked gently, gesturing for Aden, Octavia, and Raven to stay back.
“No no no… This isn’t real… I was just there... This isn’t real… I’m still in the cage… I don’t remember being rescued from the cell… This isn’t real…” Clarke gasped, sobbing. Lexa’s eyes widened and she moved closer to the distressed blonde.
“Clarke… This is real. You are in Polis with me, Nia is dead. I took her head from her shoulders myself. I promise. Whatever you saw and felt, was in your head, you are safe. Come here… Listen to me…” Lexa soothed, relieved when Clarke allowed herself to be pulled onto the commanders’ lap.
“Raven and Monty blew a hole in the castle walls so my men and I could go through. We searched the castle, the throne room first but it was empty. We moved on, searching lower and lower until we got to the dungeons. Nia and Ontari were dragging you from your cell you were barely awake. My men took Ontari and I took Nia’s head. Then I hurried to you and pulled you into my arms like this, ai niron. You opened your eyes enough to look at me and you called my name softly, reaching for me to make sure I was real... I promised you were safe and do you know what you said?” Lexa recounted, pausing. Clarke shook her head, starting to recall blurry memories that seemed to fit what Lexa was telling her. The commander smiled.
“You told me you didn’t hate me. Of all the things you could’ve said and you told me you didn’t hate me Clarke… And then you passed out and I hurried to bring you to your mother and Nyko.” Lexa continued. Clarke paused, scrambling to remember but still drawing nothing but hazy blurs.
“Wh-What happened..?” Clarke asked softly and Lexa understood her question.
“You woke up but you weren’t all the way here. You called out for me this time and I came running with Octavia at my side. You spoke to an empty chair, not reacting when I stood in front of you. You got a good strike at Octavia. Grazed her cheek with your blade. She brought you to the floor and you squirmed and cried out at things only you could see… We couldn’t help you… Only wait for you to come back.” Lexa explained gently.
“N-Nia… She was in that chair… And Ontari… I thought O was Ontari… I cut her… And then the guards… The post… It was a chain lash… I can still feel it…” Clarke whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.
“Shh. All is well. I am here, you are safe Clarke.” Lexa soothed, bringing Clarke’s palm against her chest again, trying to ground the blonde with her steady heartbeat.
“Come Clarke. It’s time for breakfast. Food will help.” Lexa promised, rising to her feet and bringing Clarke up with her. She led them to the table and sat Clarke down before getting the others to join them. Clarke looked at Octavia and bit her lip, staring down at her lap.
“I-I’m sorry O…” Clarke mumbled, tears threatening to fall again.
“No. This wasn’t you. This is from that bitch Nia.” Octavia told her firmly. Clarke nodded silently. With encouragement from everyone, Clarke managed to eat some of what was on her plate before Aden accompanied Kiva with the dishes down to the kitchen. The rest of the day went on without incident and as the week progressed, Clarke slowly began to heal. When Lexa was in meetings with her ambassadors, Clarke was well enough to be led around Polis by Raven and Octavia with Aden staying by her side. Clarke found herself smiling more as they went on adventures in the city. One week spanned in to two and her nightmares were becoming less and less powerful. Raven helped her through terrors twice a week usually which also helped Clarke start to sleep better. Lexa was glad that they were making progress. She’d missed the beautiful blonde’s smile.