To The Arc
‘You should bring her back to Arcadia, with her people. Where she belongs.’ Abby’s words echoed around in Lexa’s head as she left yet another meeting. The elder Griffin had cornered her as the other ambassadors has left the room for the day. Her words left Lexa unsettled.
‘Does Clarke want to go back? Have I been holding her here against her will…?’ Lexa wondered to herself as she walked. She finally found herself outside her chambers. She sighed and pushed the doors open. Clarke, Raven, Octavia, and Aden sat around the table playing some game with a worn deck of playing cards Raven had recovered. Lexa couldn’t help but smile at the faces of determination around the table. Aden’s brows were furrowed in concentration as he stared at the fan of cards in his hands. The tip of Clarke’s tongue poked out the corner of her mouth as she did the same. Raven bit her lip, glancing around the table while Octavia sat cockily in her seat.
“Haha!” Raven cheered, jumping out of her seat as she threw her hand down on the center of the table.
“A full house?! How?!” Octavia exclaimed throwing her own hand down in frustration. Raven just grinned at her. Clarke and Aden shook their heads as Clarke gathered up the cards to shuffle again.
“Commander.” Raven nodded in greeting.
“Raven.” Lexa replied. Raven raised an eyebrow at the look on Lexa’s face and looked at Octavia and then the door before looking back at the commander. Lexa gave her a subtle nod and Raven rose from her seat. She limped over to Octavia, putting a hand on her shoulder as she whispered something in the young warrior’s ear. Octavia glanced at Lexa and nodded, standing and taking Aden with her.
“Aden, Raven thinks she left her talkie in the library earlier but we still get kinda lost… Can you lead us there and then back here again?” Octavia asked.
“Sure. You should really know your way around here by now.” He teased, looking Lexa who nodded. Lexa waited for the three to leave before speaking.
“Clarke…” She began. Clarke turned to face her and Lexa folded her hands behind her back to keep them from fidgeting.
“Do you… Enjoy being here in Polis?” Lexa asked slowly.
“I love it here… Everyone’s so kind… And you and Aden are here.” Clarke answered. Lexa nodded, collecting herself.
“So I’m not keeping you here against your will? You don’t want to return to Arcadia, to your people?” Lexa continued, becoming timid. Clarke looked at her surprised.
“Against my… No! No! I want to be here. I like Polis. And you being here is just a bonus. Why..? Do… Do you want me to go back to Arcadia..? Back to ‘them’…?” Clarke asked, trying to keep her voice level.
‘She doesn’t want you. You’re a burden to everyone you meet.’ Nia’s voice cackled in her head. Lexa was both relieved and concerned at the fear in Clarke’s eyes as she answered.
“No! No… I want you here… With me… You will always have a place here. I just…” Lexa quickly pulled Clarke into her arms.
“Then why would you ask?” Clarke asked in a small voice.
“A-Abby… She trapped me at the end of the meeting… Said that you should be with you people… That you belong with them…” Lexa mumbled, her hold tightening slightly. Relief coursed through Clarke and she instantly understood the commander’s behavior.
“You are my people… And Octavia and Raven and Aden… And my hundred… Or what’s left of them… But the Arc… Arcadia… It isn’t my home anymore… I know I need to go back… But I won’t stay there. Not when I belong with you. You are my home Lexa.” Clarke explained. Lexa let out a choked sob and buried her face in blonde curls.
“I’m here. I belong with you.” Clarke soothed, wrapping her arms around Lexa. She let the commander cry, knowing that sometimes it’s the only way to feel better. Raven and the other two who had been listening from outside the door all slowly re-entered the room and moved to hold both Clarke and Lexa in a group hug. When Lexa recovered enough to look up she was startled by the three other presences. The commander wasn’t supposed to show weakness.
“Heda, Lexa. We are leaders. We bear the burdens so our people don’t have to… But I think now that Titus is wrong. We don’t have to shoulder the weight alone. You have Clarke and Raven and Octavia… And me. We’ll catch you if you fall too. Just like we do for Clarke.” Aden told her softly, as if reading her mind.
“Muchof Aden.” Lexa gave him a watery smile.
“Pro.” He shrugged.
“When you do want to return to Arcadia, O and I will be right beside you Princess.” Raven promised, gently squeezing Clarke’s shoulder before wishing everyone goodnight and disappearing from the room. Octavia did the same and followed Raven out.
“You should return to your bed as well Aden. Fetch Raven and Octavia before you come here tomorrow.” Lexa told him. The boy nodded and bowed to them before zipping out of the room.
“To bed?” Clarke yawned.
“Sha.” Lexa nodded. They stripped out of their clothes, save for their underwear and got into bed under the furs. Sleeping skin to skin was a step they’d taken in Clarke’s healing. The contact was something Clarke had suggested to help fight off her nightmares and so far it worked for the most part.
“Lexa?” Clarke asked in a whisper.
“Mmm?” Lexa purred against her back.
“If I go back to Arcadia to visit… Will you come with me..?” Clarke continued hesitantly.
“Of course. Aden wouldn’t be able to accompany us but I won’t leave you unprotected against your demons. I will always be by your side ai niron.” Lexa promised. Clarke nodded and closed her eyes. She felt so safe and warm as she drifted off to sleep.
Lexa woke to an empty bed and was rather unsurprised to find Clarke out on the balcony with one of the sketch books Lexa had found for her. The commander had also gotten her an arsenal of art supplies including oil paints, watercolors, charcoal, colored pencils and probably everything Lexa could find. Clarke had cried when Lexa showed her the crates. Lexa watched from the door as Clarke sketched the sunrise with her colors. Lexa secretly loved watching Clarke draw, the blonde was after all, quite good at it.
“Lexa.” Clarke greeted, turning to face the commander. Lexa’s focus snapped back to the balcony in front of her and she smiled as blue eyes met her own.
“What were you thinking about?” Clarke purred, wrapping herself up in Lexa’s arms.
“You.” Lexa rumbled.
“I… I’ve been thinking all morning… I-I want to go and visit Arcadia… Just to see how everyone’s doing… I owe them that at least.” Clarke admitted.
“You owe them nothing Clarke. But if that is what you feel you need, I won’t stop you. I’ll let them know we are coming and we’ll set out in a few days.” Lexa replied with a nod.
“Muchof.” Clarke smiled.
“Pro.” Lexa purred into her hair. They heard a knock at the door and Clarke called out for whoever it was to enter.
“Morning bitches! And Commander.” Octavia called out cheerfully.
“Octavia.” Lexa nodded. Clarke hurried to hug Octavia and Raven.
“Clarke has decided she wants to return for a brief visit to Arcadia.” Lexa announced.
“When do we leave?” Raven asked.
“I’m sending a rider to inform them of our arrival today and then we shall set out in a few days. There are things I need to take care of here first.” Lexa replied.
“I’ll be staying here?” Aden asked.
“Sha. I’m sorry.” Lexa nodded. Aden shook his head.
“No. I understand. I will look after Polis while you are gone. The other nightbloods and I will make sure everyone behaves.” Aden promised, standing up straight with a determined look.
“Muchof Aden. Polis will be in fine hands until our return.” Lexa smiled.
After breakfast, Lexa sent out a rider and set about making sure everything would be in order for their departure. Three days later it was time to depart.