Chapter 1
Chapter 1: (Tw: physical abuse, child abuse, homophobia, injuries)
Middle of July, Black Manor, 5pm
Bellatrix was ready to go out, everything was perfectly calculated, as usual. She grabs her bag and leads to her sister’s room. She knocks gently, cautious of her every move. Andromeda opens the door.
“Can you-” Bellatrix starts. “I’ll cover.” The brown-haired girl cuts her off with a slight smile. “Just be back before dinner.”
“I will.” Bellatrix answers quickly. “I’ll pay you back I swear.”
“Just go already!” Andromeda chuckles.
On that, Bellatrix hurries outside, carefully walking on tiptoe as she passes her father’s study. She was confident, did it a hundred times before, and will do it a hundred more. Everything goes as usual.
Once she closes the front door behind her, she feels like she can breathe again. The light rain didn’t bother her in the slightest. She heads to the meeting place. It became a habit over the summer. Twice a week, she would wait for her mother to visit her aunt for tea and sneak out to the park.
She hates it, the park. All those noisy children running around, flying insects, too many people on nice weather and muddy floors on rainy days. Genuinely, she can’t understand why people like public parks. But fine, getting out of that house is worth the trouble. Actually, it isn’t the only thing bringing her to the park two times a week.
Eventually, she reaches the bench. And she sees her, writing in her journal, her blonde hair perfectly styled, her glasses, her green eyes, her- Yeah, it is worth it. She sits next to the blonde-haired girl. “What’s up Skeeter?” Bellatrix asks casually. “You should stop talking to me as if we were friends Black.” The girl answers without lifting her head from her journal. “It’s getting weird.” Eventually she looks up, smirking.
Bellatrix rolls her eyes “If you expect me to start giving you pet names and cheesy talks you can wait. I’d rather die.”
“Hold on, that's not what I said. No ew. I’m just saying we could use some more, you know…proximity.” With that, the blonde-haired girl discreetly puts her hand on Bellatrix’s thigh.
Bellatrix flinches and pushes her hand away, quickly looking around. “Rita, are you crazy? Someone could see us! I’m not joking.” she says, trying to hide the slight worry in her voice with her firm tone.
“Alright, alright.” Rita answers, annoyed at the rejection. “I was just suggesting, no need to get all worked up.”
“You just don’t get it, Skeeter.” Bellatrix retorts firmly. “Yeah, I sure don’t.” Rita scoffs, her annoyance only rising as she focuses back on her journal.
Bellatrix mumbles something unintelligible before she stands up and grabs Rita’s arm. “Come on, we’re not gonna sit here all day, are we?” She tugs gently on her arm. Rita looks up, reluctant. “Unless you really want to, mon amour ” Bellatrix smirks.
“Oh my god, alright, we move. Don’t do that ever again.” Rita throws her journal in her bag and stands up, blushing slightly. Bellatrix chuckles and follows her.
After all their secret meetings, she knows the way to the Skeeter’s house by heart. But she still makes sure to walk behind. On the way, she pays attention to every person she sees. “Wasn’t this man at one of father’s receptions? No, no I’m pretty sure he wasn’t.” She thinks to herself, analysing every face. She feels like a maniac.
Rita, on the other hand, is completely oblivious of the situation. Or at least, she’s acting like it. This girl knows and sees everything. But somehow, she kinda likes Bellatrix. So most of the time, when Bellatrix acts weird, she doesn’t raise it. It’s not like Black would talk about anything anyway, so what’s the point?
Eventually, the two girls make their way to the Skeeters. Rita’s family is very wealthy, they live in a rich neighborhood in London’s Center. However, they are way less noble and respected than the Blacks. No one, in fact, is more respected than the Blacks.
Rita goes to open the door. “Your parents aren’t there, right?” Bellatrix stops her, just to be sure. “No, they aren’t. Alright? Relax.” Rita reassures her, a bit impatiently. “I’m completely relaxed.” Bellatrix retorts, trying to sound as convincing as she wishes to be. “Just checking, that’s all.”
Rita rolls her eyes and steps in. Bellatrix keeps looking around the street anxiously. “So? You’re coming in?” Rita snaps her out of her state. “Hm? Oh- yeah, yeah sure, right, I’m in.”
Rita closes the door behind them and Bellatrix finally breathes, again, she feels a little bit more like herself. “You’re weird Black”, “Shut up Skeeter”.
The both of them walk up the stairs to Rita’s room. Her room is fancy, the shelfs covered in expensive products. The bed perfectly done. Everything’s well organised. Until her desk, her desk is a total mess. The wall above it is full of notes, pictures and sketches all related to each other. You know, the kind of things you imagine the secret services having in their offices.
Bellatrix looks at the wall and all the things Rita added since she last came here 3 days ago. “And I am the weird one?” Bellatrix asks jokingly. “Well, if people don’t want me to sneak into their business, they should hide better.” Rita answers seriously. “You’re not weird, you’re scary.” Bellatrix chuckles, making a mental note to never get Rita on her bad side. “I like that about you.” Bellatrix says, wrapping her arm around Rita’s waist. Rita turns her head to look at the black-haired girl behind her. “Do you?” Bellatrix leans forward to kiss her.
A couple of hours later, the two girls are lying on the bed. Rita is explaining the last drama she found out and Bellatrix listens, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt and watching the rain pouring through the window.
“I should really go.” Bellatrix cuts Rita off and sits up. “Trixie you can’t go out in that rain, it's crazy.” Rita sits up too. “I can’t be late, and if I don’t leave right now I will be late.” Bellatrix answers, feeling her anxiety rising. Rita looks at her “Just wait for it to calm a little bit, if you say it was because of the rain your parents won’t-” “You don’t know anything!” Bellatrix shouts. Rita doesn’t answer, speechless.
After a few seconds Bellatrix rubs her eyes and sighs. “I’m sorry.” Her voice softens. “I didn’t mean to yell. But really, I need to go. Now.”
The other girl stays quiet a little longer. “Alright. At least take a bigger coat.” She says, resigned. Bellatrix accepts, and 5 minutes later, she’s out in London’s streets, Rita's coat on. She’s already late and the weather doesn’t help. Her dress is getting really wet and she silently curses herself for choosing to stay longer instead of leaving before the rain gets too bad.
°°°°°
20 minutes later, she’s in front of her house, completely wet, and late. “Maybe mother isn’t back yet.” She tells herself in an attempt to calm her beating heart. She knows it’s nonsense, her parents’ schedule isn't flexible at all. It’s kinda scary, but they are always on time.
However, it’s too late now, she can’t stay outside all night. She has to go inside. She pushes the door and walks in. The house is quiet. Usually, she wouldn’t pay attention to it, the house is always quiet. But this silence sends a shiver down her spine. She can feel it.
Growing up in the Black Manor gives you a sort of sixth sense. Like a survival instinct, you just know when it’s bad. And in this instant, she knows.
As soon as she enters the living room, she notices her sisters standing next to their mother. Narcissa looked directly at the floor and Andromeda was tense under the firm grip of their mother on her shoulder.
Bellatrix can see her tense even more when she notices her stepping in. And she can’t help but hate herself when she meets Andromeda’s gaze full of fear, and something else, guilt. She doesn't need to say anything for Bellatrix to understand that she’s feeling guilty for this situation, even though nothing is her fault. Bellatrix immediately regrets everything. How could she be stupid enough to think that all this could work? Or was worth putting Andromeda in danger? All that for some childish whim.
Only she doesn’t have enough time to regret anything before her father stands up from the couch and turns towards her. “Bellatrix.” Her father says calmly, but his tone is firm, if possible, firmer than usual. Bellatrix doesn’t dare to say anything at all. “Come here.” The man speaks again. Bellatrix steps towards him, keeping some kind of distance. But Cygnus steps closer, until there’s only half a meter left between them. “Care to explain yourself?” Bellatrix keeps her eyes on the floor. “I-”, “Look at me when you’re speaking to me. Didn’t we teach you respect?” His voice rising. Bellatrix carefully looks up. “Yes father”, “Right. Now. Where were you?”,“I was outside.” Bellatrix answers, loud enough not to upset her father any more. “Outside where? ” Bellatrix swallows. “Seeing a friend, father.” She feels a lump forming in her throat.
You can think those situations get easier with time, and experience, that you sort of get used to it. Only you don’t, this moment doesn’t feel any easier than the time she was caught sneaking in the kitchen when she was 8, or the time she came home with her first B at 12, or any of the times in between, or the following ones. At this moment, she was 8 again, breathing heavily, looking her father in the eyes and trying to lie her way out of it. She learnt quickly enough that she could never lie her way out of anything. Either she was telling the truth or not, at the end of the day, her father was the only one to decide what was right, and most of the time, it would get her in trouble anyway.
She doesn’t think of anything else to say before she feels her father’s hand grabbing the collar of her dress and violently holding her against the wall. Her breathing stops for a second. “Who did you see?!” His loud voice echoes in Bellatrix’s ears, she can smell the lingering odour of alcohol coming from him. “Skeeter- Rita, the Skeeter’s daughter. She’s my friend.” Bellatrix answers, trying to catch her breath. Cygnus doesn’t say anything for a moment, figuring out who the Skeeters are. He clenches his fist around Bellatrix’s collar tighter. “Your friend , you say?”. Bellatrix closes her eyes, feeling herself starting to tremble. “Look at me!” Her father continues. “How come I was not aware of this meeting?”. Bellatrix opens her eyes, trying to slow her breathing down. “Mother was out and I didn’t want to disturb you in your work”. It's a pitiful lie, Bellatrix knows it, it doesn't make any sense, but she can't bring her brain to think about anything else. Cygnus pushes her violently against the wall once more and lets go of her collar, letting Bellatrix fall on the floor.
He turns around to face the other girls while Bellatrix gets on her feet using the wall. “Andromeda, approach.” The man’s voice is stern. Andromeda feels her mother’s hand’s grip releasing her shoulder, she steps forwards and looks at her father. Bellatrix’s breath halts once again. “Did you know about this?” Andromeda trembles slightly, she looks toward her sister. Bellatrix doesn’t say anything but discreetly moves her hands.
Growing up, Bellatrix and Andromeda quickly understood they couldn’t talk freely around their parents, because everything they said could be turned against them, or seen as “inappropriate” and get them in trouble. By the time Narcissa turned 5, they created a bunch of code sentences only the 3 of them could understand. But their father didn’t like whispers, not in the slightest. He quickly made sure they stopped.
Only they still needed to communicate safely, and Andromeda randomly found a solution in their primary school’s library.
“Trix I know!” The little girl runs into the room, slamming a book against the bed. Little Narcissa struggles to climb the bed and grabs the book, reading out loud “sign lagage?” Bellatrix gently takes the book from her hands. “It says “language” Cissa, sign language.” She turns towards her other sister. “What is it exactly?” Andromeda sits on the bed next to her. “The way deaf and mute people communicate, it’s a language in itself, and it’s-” Andromeda can’t even finish her sentence. “Silent! It’s silent! Andy you’re a pure genius” Bellatrix takes Andromeda’s face between her hands and kisses her forehead. “A genius.”
That day, from the ages of 6, 8 and 9 years old, Narcissa, Andromeda and Bellatrix learned how to use sign language. Soon enough, they taught their little cousins how to use it too. It turned out to be more useful than they thought. As the years passed, their parents became stricter, and their corrections harsher. The girls found themselves unable to speak a numerous amount of time. But now, they had a way to communicate no matter what.
Andromeda looks at her sister’s hand moving. Bellatrix signs her to tell the truth, Andromeda doesn’t understand why, but she trusts her, so she does. “Yes father, I knew.” And before Cygnus can say anything, Bellatrix walks toward them. “I made her swear to keep it a secret. She wanted to talk about it but I stopped her, I didn’t want you to know.” Cygnus diverts his attention from Andromeda, turning it back to Bellatrix. She can see his anger rise a little more each passing second. “It wasn’t the first time, was it?” Bellatrix slowly shakes her head. “No it wasn’t.”
The only thing Bellatrix knows after that, is that her father is dragging her to his study, holding a handful of her hair. Once in, he throws her on the floor, looking down at her. “You’re telling me that you’ve been sneaking out of the house, several times, without permission, only to see a ‘friend’?” His voice itself is enough to make Bellatrix shiver. “I- yes..” Before she can finish her sentence she sees her father raise his arm and slap her with enough force to make her move on the floor. “Don’t you dare lie to me. Do you think I don’t see you, doing all those twisted things? I know it since you’re fucking 10 years old Bellatrix. You don’t fool anybody.” Bellatrix instinctively covers her cheek with her hand, not daring to say anything at all. “I won’t let you turn that way, do you understand?” Cygnus grabs her arm forcefully and forces her up in a violent shake. “Do you understand?!” Bellatrix doesn’t even try to fight anymore, she doesn’t look up but answers reluctantly. “Yes father.” The man holds her against the wall again. “I don’t think you do.”
°°°°°
It’s only half an hour later that Bellatrix enters her room again. Andromeda and Narcissa stand up from her bed. “How are you?” Narcissa is the first to talk. “I’m fine, leave me alone.” Bellatrix answers, a bit defensive. “Trix stop lying, we know you’re not f-”, “I said I’m fine. Cut it out.” Andromeda holds her hand towards Bellatrix’s cheek but Bellatrix pushes her away. “Don’t touch me! What’s your problem, the both of you? I said I’m fine, now get out of here!” Bellatrix snaps. Andromeda and Narcissa look at each other, but eventually silently walk out of the room.
Later that night, Narcissa comes back and knocks at Bellatrix’s room again. “What?” Bellatrix answers curtly. “Can I come in?”, “If it makes you happy.”
Narcissa opens the door, Bellatrix is on the bench seat next to her window, looking outside. Narcissa sits on the bed, turned towards her sister. The both of them spend a moment in silence before Narcissa decides to speak. “Andromeda told me, about Rita.” Bellatrix tenses, almost as a reflex, but Narcissa keeps going. “I don’t understand, it doesn’t make sense does it? Rita is a girl. Isn’t it… not normal?” Bellatrix doesn’t look at her, keeps staring out the window. “Only if you want it to be.” Narcissa stays quiet a little more, thinking it over. “But father says-” “Does everything father does look relevant to you?” Bellatrix eventually turns towards her, showing her reddened cheek where a bruise was forming and Narcissa approaches , not looking away from her cheek. “No, of course it’s not. I just…” She trails off as Andromeda enters the room. Bellatrix turns her head away again.
“Sometimes you don’t understand everything, and it’s okay. But nothing excuses his behavior.” Andromeda says in a calm voice as she joins them. “Trix, tell us what happened.” She sits next to Bellatrix. Bellatrix doesn’t move, clenching her fists slightly. “It doesn’t matter.” “Yes it does.” Andromeda continues. “You are our sister, whether you want it or not we’re stuck here together. Shutting yourself off won’t make anything easier.”
Bellatrix feels her anger rise and stands up suddenly, stumbling slightly because of the pain which makes Narcissa step back. “What do you want me to say, hm? That he hit me? That he made me understand what I did wrong? That I’m his biggest disappointment?” Bellatrix scoffs. “As if I wasn’t already aware of that. Nothing is new. What did you expect to hear exactly?” She was angry, she didn’t know why she took it out on Andromeda though. Not that it didn’t happen often, but she couldn’t control it. Andromeda was worried, and Bellatrix snapped. Narcissa was usually caught in the middle. None of them was mad at Bellatrix for it, it’s not like anyone ever taught any of them to control their anger, they didn’t grow up with the best example.
But Andromeda knew how not to make the situation worse. “Cissa, can you please go get the first-aid kit in the bathroom?” She asks calmly, looking at her little sister. Narcissa nods slowly, eventually looking away from Bellatrix and leaving the room. Bellatrix, on the other hand, didn’t move from where she was, trying as much as she can to calm down. Andromeda sits on the bed, patting the spot next to her, inviting Bellatrix to join her. Bellatrix sighs but sits down.
“You don’t need to say anything, just show me, we won’t talk about it.” Andromeda’s voice is still calm and soft. She knows Bellatrix would rather suffer alone than asking any of her sisters for help, but she also knows that in her life Bellatrix took a lot of blows to protect Narcissa and she, and would do it all again without giving it a second thought. So she would make sure Bellatrix gets the care she needs right now.
“I’m fine.” Bellatrix clenches her fists on her thighs. “It wasn’t a question Trix.” Andromeda gently reaches out and unclenches her fists. Bellatrix looks up at her, and without a noise, she turns around, her back facing Andromeda. She lifts up her shirt and reveals her bare back, covered in long red and purple bruises. Andromeda’s eyes widen. “How-” Bellatrix stops her. “Not a word.” Andromeda nods slowly, unable to detach her gaze from her sister’s back.
At that moment Narcissa comes back, a little bag in her hands. “Andy, Trix, we’ve got a pr-” She trails off as she sees Bellatrix. Andromeda quickly signs her not to say anything and Narcissa just sits down on the bed as well, giving the bag to Andromeda. She rummages through it and takes out a tube of cream, as she applies it on her sister’s back, Bellatrix winces slightly but doesn’t say anything. She looks up and meets Narcissa’s gaze, it was full of something Bellatrix didn’t like at all, pity or something. Actually, Narcissa wasn’t pitying her, she was worried. This thing Bellatrix couldn’t really understand was care. Care was foreign to her. She looks down again. And when Andromeda is done, she pulls her shirt back down, wincing again as she does so. She allows her sister to put some cream on her cheek as well.
After that, Bellatrix looks back at Narcissa. “What were you about to say earlier?” Narcissa snaps out of her thoughts. “Oh- yeah um.. We have kind of a problem.” Andromeda looks at her as well. “What do you mean kind of a problem?”, “I mean that when I went to the bathroom I heard father say something to mother. They want to send us to a boarding school next year.” Bellatrix and Andromeda look at each other and blink. “They what?!”