Chapter 8
**Lexas POV**
She could feel the nightmare beginning, the darkness taking over the light, she had to fight it, she tried every night to fight it but she never succeed, something felt different this time. Before the darkness could engulf her, her eyes snapped open.
When she was able to focus the first thing she saw was Clarkes face sleeping peacefully so close to her own, her warmth making her feel safe, making her feel like everything was going to be okay. She rolled onto her back for a moment, she wanted to sleep. But she was scared.
She lifted her hand and traced Clarkes jaw once before deciding to wake her up. She began lightly poking her. “Clarke?” She knew she was waking up when her face scrunched up.
“Lexa sleep.” She kept up with her poking until Clarke grabbed her hand, she was actually very fast for someone who was half asleep.
“Clarke please.” She watched as Clarke opened one eye and peaked at her. But she didn’t really wake up much to her dismay. Instead Clarke moved closer to her if that was even possible. Their foreheads pressed together, she stopped breathing. She closed her eyes for a moment and when she opened them Clarkes eyes bored into her own.
“Nightmare?”
“Almost.”
Clarke just nodded making their noses brush quickly. Lexa quickly ducked her head down below Clarkes chin and burrowed in, she breathed in deeply, she felt Clarke tense around her but relax after a moment.
“Want to try and go back to sleep?” She nodded slightly and it was her turn to tense up when Clarke began running her fingers up and down her back.
“Relax.” She took a deep breathe in and allowed herself to listen. Not too long after she felt her eyes grow heavy and her mind start to calm down. Her last thought being she shouldn’t be doing this.
Next thing she knew she was being yelled at.
“You guys left me on the couch!”
Her eyes snapped open registering the voice and then realizing the position she was. Clarke was wrapped around her and she was curled into her, She turned her head and saw Raven glaring at them.
“Go away Raven!” Clarke tightened the arm that was around her and buried her face into her hair. Raven didn’t say anything she just stood in the doorway glaring and raising her eyebrow at the position they were in.
She began to try and wiggle away but Clarkes grip only strengthened. Lexa began to feel a panic rising in her chest. She shouldn’t be laying here, not like this, not at all.
“Clarke get off!” She regretted yelling it the moment the words were out of her mouth. When Clarke actually did let go and move away from her with that look on her face. The look of betrayal, confusion, of pure hurt she wanted nothing more than to pull her arms back around her and act like Raven wasn’t there.
Instead she sat up and began rubbing her eyes mostly avoiding the different looks Raven and Clarke were giving her. She jumped and pulled the covers up when she heard Lunas voice.
“What’s going on?
Thankfully she didn’t have to say anything. “Raven is mad because she wouldn’t get up last night effectively taking Lexas bed so Lexa slept in here while Raven got the couch.”
“You slept in Clarkes bed?”
She nodded her head waiting to see what Luna would do. Would they fight? Was this going to be a problem? But Luna just shrugged and walked out of the doorway. Right Luna doesn’t fight, she just accepts whatever she throws at her.
Raven just glared at them a moment longer before walking away and muttering “assholes” before slamming the door shut.
Lexa hadn’t looked again but she knew she was in trouble, she could feel it in the air. She glanced at Clarke from the side and saw the glare. She reached out to grab her hand that Clarke currently had in her lap but she snatched it out of her reach.
Lexa turned and sat so she was facing the very angry woman before her. “You’re mad at me and I deserve it. I’m sorry.”
Clarkes glare lessened but she looked at her now suspiciously. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I don’t know I panicked. You took care of me last night and I fucked it up this morning, I didn’t mean to.”
Clarke stopped glaring at her but did nothing else to show she was forgiven. Lexa reached forward again and this time Clarke let her grab her hand. Lexa made it so their hands were palm to palm. Her fingers were longer and skinnier than Clarkes.
She looked from their hands back to Clarkes face, “Do you forgive me princess?” Clarke rolled her eyes but Lexa could see the smirk she was trying to hide.
But next thing she knew Clarke shoved her and she literally fell off of the bed with a loud thump that was her butt hitting the floor. She laid there for a moment in shock as Clarke looked down at her from the bed with a huge smile on her face.
She sat up and watched as Clarke got up and walked to the door, “I forgive you commander.”
Lexa sat on the floor a moment longer, “Commander?”
** Two weeks later**
**Clarkes POV**
Commander: HURRY UP
Clarke: Don’t rush greatness
Commander: I will start without you
Clarke: You wouldn’t dare.
Commander: (Finger hovers over button)
Clarke: Lexa!! You better not!
Commander: ………. >_<
Clarke: Press play now!
Commander: Did it!
She sat back as the episode began to play, smiling to herself when she realized which one it was.
Clarke: This is a good one.
Commander: You say that about all of them.
Clarke: I’m always right.
Commander: Maybe.
She couldn’t help the goofy grin that came to her face. Watching the show and texting had been their compromise when she had a tantrum when she found out Lexa saw a few episodes without her. She knew she was being very extra about it but it was their thing and she wanted to keep it that way.
There was a knock on her door, she looked up from her phone screen quickly putting it down.
“Come in!”
Luna walked in with a smile on her face and sat down next to her.
“What you up to?”
Her phone vibrated again. Luna glanced down at the phone but before she was able to get a look she covered it with her hand and pulled it closer to her.
Luna looked to her computer and rolled her eyes. “You watching this too?”
“Yeah, you don’t like it?”
Luna shrugged her shoulders but got more comfortable watching the episode.
“Yeah but Lexa has been obsessed with it, she made me watch it for like 4 hours straight the other day, she hasn’t asked to see it since then though so maybe it was just one day thing.”
Clarke shrugged her shoulders, she knew Lexa didn’t watch it with Luna because she got mad at her for watching it without her. Her phone vibrated again and she ignored it. She itched to pick it up and check the message but it felt weird and Luna was now completely watching the show too.
Five minutes later another vibration. Luna glanced at her phone again and raised her eyebrows in a way that seemed to be asking why she wasn’t answering, but she pretended not to notice.
She thought Luna would only stay a few moments but no, she stood for the entire episode. When it finished and she got up Clarke almost couldn’t hold in her sigh of relief. The moment her bedroom door closed she grabbed her phone and unlocked it.
Commander: Would you try breast milk?
Commander: Clarke?
Commander: God you are ANNOYING
Clarke rolled her eyes. Fantastic.
**Three weeks later**
**Lexas POV**
“Lun we planned this for weeks, the tickets were bought a month ago!”
She stood up and started pacing back and forth in front of Lunas bed. Luna grabbed her hand to try and comfort her but she snatched it away.
“Lex come on don’t be like that, please understand.”
“Yes, but you understand that you pestered me into doing something special, I got us damn Broadway show tickets for our six month anniversary and you are now canceling on me. I’m supposed to just be okay with it?”
“Do you want to sell the tickets? Or you can take someone else so you don’t miss out? I know how much you love the Lion King, don’t miss out because of me. Ask Lincoln.”
She just looked at Luna, was she serious? She couldn’t do it, if she stood there she was going to say things she would regret later. Even if she was mad at her Luna was too… Luna to hurt.
“I need to go.” She turned and grabbed her bag and started walked out of the bedroom door, slamming it shut behind herself. She heard the door open behind her and couldn’t help rolling her eyes.
“Lexa please don’t leave like this.” She turned to see tears running down Lunas face, it made her freeze for a moment but her anger didn’t disappear.
“I can’t Luna, I’m trying not to hurt you, just give me space.”
“Lexa please come in the room and just talk to me.”
Her anger flared again, “What about needing space don’t you understand!”
Before Luna could respond the apartment door opened and Clarke just stood in the door, her eyes going from Lunas crying face to hers. Lexa just shook her head and went to walk away.
“Lexa?”
She took a deep breathe in, “Luna stop, I’ll call you.” She saw Costias face flash in head and turned back to face Luna, “I will call you, just later, I need to calm down.”
She turned back to Clarke who was standing in the doorway and brushed past her on her way out. She felt her eyes follow her but kept walking.
When she made it downstairs she heard footsteps running down the stairs, she rolled her eyes knowing Luna wouldn’t listen to her. But when she turned around ready to tell her to go home. It wasn’t Luna.
“Clarke?”
“Lexa, what the hell happened?”
“What are you doing?” Clarke rolled her eyes at her which only made her angrier so she walked out of the building before she could say anything else.
Clarke caught up with her quickly but didn’t say anything and just kept walking beside her. She stopped paying attention and just stood in her thoughts. She overreacted, she sighed out loud and saw Clarke glance at her.
She didn’t think six months was really anything to celebrate, so when Luna said she wanted to make it special Lexa only agreed to make her happy, so Luna canceling really bothered her. Not that they weren’t celebrating, but because she only did it for her in the first place.
They must have been walking for about twenty minutes when Clarke spoke up.
“Where are we going?” Lexa looked around not really recognizing where they were but noticing the Café on the corner and pointed towards it, Clarke nodded.
When they stepped inside and were seated Lexa began looking over the menu. Only looking up when Clarke spoke.
“What’s good here?”
“I don’t know, I don’t even know where we are.”
Clarke just nodded and went back to looking at the menu. Lexa watched her over hers, she and Clarke had gotten closer over the past couple of months, she was a good friend, she could talk to her and she seemed to always be there.
“Thank you.” Clarke glanced up and their eyes met briefly, but the waiter came to take their orders. Lexa knew the waiter was looking at Clarke a little longer than she had to. Clarke seemed oblivious though and just smiled at her and she couldn’t help but return it.
“So do you want to talk now?”
Lexa shrugged and looked away, “It was stupid, I over reacted.”
Clarke just looked at her and leaned forward elbows on the table, just watching her to see if she would keep talking. When she didn’t Clarke just moved back and went into her own bag taking out a sketch book.
Lexa looked out the window and watched all the people walking around, the sun began going down.
She looked over and saw Clarke glanced up at her every couple of seconds, “Are you drawing me?”
“Yes.”
“Do I need to stay still?”
“No.”
She stopped looking at the window and decided to watch Clarke instead. “I loved your gallery showing by the way.”
Clarke smiled at her again, “You have told me that like twenty times Lex.”
She shrugged her shoulders, “Well I did.”
The waiter walked back with her eyes trained on Clarke the whole time. She felt her gut tighten at it, but when she looked at Clarke and saw her eyes were still trained on her the tightness lessened.
“Alright this is for you beautiful.” Lexas eyes widened and Clarkes head snapped up so fast to look at the waitress for the first time.
“Thank you Niylah.” Clarke smiled at her and Lexas eyes widened and she looked at the waitress to see her blushing and readjusting her name tag which was crooked.
“Thanks, we will call you if we need you.” The waitress turned and looked at her with a confused expression before glancing once more at Clarke before walking away. Lexa felt her anger growing, she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with her fingers.
She felt a hand on hers pulling it away from her face, She opened her eyes to Clarke giving her that smile, she placed their hands on the table no letting go. The contact relaxed her, it helped that she saw when the waitress noticed and frowned at it.
Clarke rubbed her thumb along her hand before giving it a squeeze and starting to eat her burger. Lexa did the same, she continually checked to see where Niylah was to see if she was still watching Clarke, most of the time she was. Was she a stalker or something?
Clarke saw her looking at Niylah and said, “She’s pretty isn’t she?”
“No.” She lied, Niylah was pretty but she wouldn’t admit it.
They didn’t speak as they ate, but once she finished she felt ready to talk. “Luna basically forced me to plan something for our six month anniversary which by the way isn’t a real thing, I got us Broadway tickets and now she can’t come. Her dads birthday is the next day and her mom told her she had to go home early to help her prepare.”
Clarke finished eating too and was watching her talk. When she was about to talk Lexa noticed she had something right on the corner of her lip she leaned across the table and wiped it off her finger brushing over Clarkes lips. She could have sworn she heard her gasp at her touch but she shook her head thinking she must be hearing things.
“I mean now that I’ve kind of calmed down I may have overreacted. It’s her dads birthday I get it. I just got really mad in the moment, I need to apologize.”
Clarke smiled at her and nodded. “Are you going back home with her for her dads birthday then?”
Lexa shook her head quickly. “Definitely not.”
“Why do you say it like that?”
Lexa looked away and caught Niylahs eyes, she glared at her before turning back to Clarke. “I haven’t met her parents.”
Clarkes eyes widened. “What!?”
Lexa looked around to see people looking at them. Clarke looked around nervously and smiled at everyone before turning back to her and repeating herself quietly this time.
“What?”
Lexa shrugged, “I don’t want to meet them, I’m….. I’m not ready. It’s too real. I don’t know.”
Clarke just looked confused. “Lexa she moved here for you, it’s real. I couldn’t date someone my parents hadn’t met, they are really important to me.”
Lexa breathed out loudly, “I didn’t ask her to move here.”
Clarkes eyes widened and she sat back. She played back what she just said and shook her head.
“Look I…. I care for her I do, but I can’t I don’t know. She’s good for me she makes me better, I’m trying. Lincoln says he sometimes he can tell I care for her and then he says it’s like I shutdown on her sometimes and it makes even him question, but I do. She’s my girlfriend, I care about her, I wouldn’t be with her if I didn’t really care about her. I mean you know Luna, shes beautiful, kind and a happy person, she can make me laugh more than most people and she appreciates me the way I am, what more could I ask for? ”
During her rant she stared down at the table but when she looked up and saw Clarkes face she shut up. Clarke looked at a loss for words.
“I’m not asking you to convince me.” For a second Clarke glared at her before standing up. “I need to use the bathroom and then I want to go home.”
Clarke walked away quickly before she could say anything. Niylah came back over to the table. “Is she okay?”
Lexa looked up and glared at her, “Can I just get the check?” It looked like Niylah was mid eye roll before she stopped herself and placed the paper in her held out hand. Before she could walk away Lexa passed her her card.
Niylah came back quickly with the receipt, when Lexa was signing she saw Niylah place something under Clarkes water.
After taking the signed receipt she walked away quickly and headed to the back, Lexa couldn’t help but reach over and pick up a napkin that had a number and her name on it. Lexa raised her eyebrows and crumpled the napkin and put it inside her own water.
There was no way she was going to let that happen. When Clarke came out of the bathroom she got up and passed Clarke her stuff and grabbed her hand, when she saw Niylah come out and look at them she stopped walking and stood in front of Clarke.
“Thank you Clarke, for listening to me.” She leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to Clarkes cheek before looking over Clarkes shoulder to see Niylah glaring at her. Apart of her knew she was doing something she shouldn’t but she didn’t care enough to let Niylah have a chance with Clarke.
“Um you’re welcome.”
She pulled them through the door. “By the way want to go with me to see The Lion King on Broadway Saturday?”
Clarkes eyes widened. “I love The Lion King!”
She smiled, “I will take that as a yes.”