Chapter 7
Chapter 7
**Lexas POV**
“Nothing lasts forever Clarke.” She knew that sounded depressing but it was true, if she learned anything at her young age that was it.
“Can I see the other one?”
“It’s big, goes down my spine.” She thought about it for a second before she reached down and began lifting her shirt over her head. She moved it to cover her chest, even though Clarke wouldn’t be able to see anything anyway.
She faced forward again trying to let Clarke take her tattoo in, but then she felt the clasp on her bra release, her head snapped to the side and her eyes met blue ones. What was she doing? Clarke gave her what looked like a shy smile.
“I want to really see it.”
She nodded and turned her head back trying to figure out why her heart was beating so rapidly. She tried to calm it, clutching her clothing to her chest. If she pressed hard enough maybe it would stop.
When she felt Clarkes hand start tracing the tattoo at the base of her neck and work its way down she could help but gasp at the touch, every spot she touched began to ignite something within her, and she couldn’t bring herself to stop her.
Instead she closed her eyes and let herself be enveloped by what she was feeling, she almost missed Clarkes words.
“It’s so beautiful.”
She should say something she should move away but she couldn’t do either and then there was a knock on the door and she felt Clarkes warmth taken away from her.
“You can change in here.”
She couldn’t turn to look at her, so she just nodded her head only turning when she heard the door being closed. She looked at the clothes on the bed but didn’t move to put them on but instead laid herself down on the bed itself.
She heard Clarke and Lunas voice on the other side of the door but she couldn’t make out what they were saying nor did she care to. The only thing she was thinking was what the hell just happened. Clarke was being nice and she made it weird having that kind of reaction.
A reaction she hasn’t had to anyone since…. No she couldn’t think about it. She sat up and pulled on Clarkes Tshirt along with the shorts. She took a deep breathe before opening the door, she was being stupid it was nothing.
The better part of the hour was spent trying to get Raven off of her, for a straight girl she sure didn’t seem to be. Octavia wouldn’t stop talking about Lincoln which honestly made her kind of nauseous. Luna pretending they weren’t dating was annoying, the only way she seemed to be able to do that was ignore her and give her flirty glances once in a while. It was bizarre honestly.
“Sexy Lexy!”
“Oh my god, Raven leave her alone already!”
“Clarke stop getting jealous!”
“I’m not jealous!”
Lexa grimaced as Raven sat next to her, “Clarke just wishes I gave her this much attention.”
“Raven are you sure, you aren’t into girls?”
“Only one way to find out.” Before Lexa could do anything Raven was pressing their lips together, she froze unsure of what to do.
“Raven!” She heard Luna and Clarke yell together, and Raven moved back and just studied her face. She brought her hand to her mouth and wiped as hard as she could, that did not just happen.
“Nope, still straight.”
Clarke pulled Raven up by her arm forcefully surprising everyone. “Are you fucking kidding me!? You can’t just kiss people Raven, I don’t care how drunk you are. Apologize to Lexa. Now.”
Raven pulled her arm free and glared at Clarke, “Calm down princess.” She turned so she was facing Lexa. “Sorry Lexa, I was just playing around.”
“Don’t ever do that again.”
Raven gave her a smile and a wink, “Oh come on wasn’t that bad.”
Lexa looked over Ravens shoulder and saw Lunas glare, that wasn’t good. Raven turned around and saw the way Luna was looking at her.
“Oh you’re mad? I can fix that.”
Raven grabbed Luna and hugged her while peppering kisses all over her cheeks. “Luna, you are so pretty, and nice and I’m sorry I kissed your girlfriend but in my defense you are both currently single. Also I’m sorry because she isn’t a good kisser.”
“Hey, I didn’t even kiss you back!”
Raven stopped her kissing and smiled at her over her shoulder, “Its okay Lexa I found your flaw, don’t deny it.”
That made Luna laugh and even Clarke had a small smile on her face. She just crossed her arms and sat back on the couch. Clarke sat next to her a moment later.
“Stop pouting Lexa.”
“I don’t pout.”
“Oh yeah so what do you call what you are doing?”
“Oh shut it.”
Clarke raised her hands in surrender, “Hey it’s not my fault you can’t kiss.”
She didn’t hesitate, she pulled the pillow from behind her back knocked Clarke on the head with it. Clarkes head bounced but she seemed to be in too much shock to do anything about it. Her mouth was open as her eyes widened impossibly big and she began rubbing her head.
Lexa couldn’t help but let out a laugh. Clarke tried to glare at her but she was failing miserably as the corner of her mouth kept rising even as she tried to fight it.
“Lexa has the best real laugh.”
At those words her smile dropped from her face, Clarke watched the change in her face and turned to glare at Luna who was no longer paying attention.
“Be nice Clarke.” Clarke blushed and she was pretty sure it was the cutest thing she had seen. She placed her hand on Clarkes and squeezed before releasing it.
“Okay drunky number one and number two get over here.” Octavia and Raven went to Clarke and she motioned for them to sit on the couch, Lexa decided to sit on the floor so she wouldn’t be squished.
Luna sat next to her for the movie, letting their shoulders brush every now and then smiling at her as if it was their little secret. Lexa just thought it was stupid but she didn’t want to be mean. She looked to the opposite side of what Luna was sitting on and rolled her eyes. She jumped when she felt a shove and looked up to see Clarke raising an eyebrow at her.
She felt her cheeks flush at being caught and went back to looking at the television. The movie was only half way over when Octavia stood up and declared she was going to bed. She half stumbled to Lunas bedroom.
“Move over.”
“No, you move over.”
“CLARRRRRRKE.”
Lexa looked behind herself and saw Raven physically trying to push Clarke onto the floor. Clarke began pushing her back, and she swore they looked like siblings about to have an all out brawl. “Raven stop pushing.”
“No! I want to lay down and she won’t let me.”
Lexa rolled her eyes and just waited until Clarke looked at her. “Come sit on the floor Clarke.”
“No! Why do I have to?”
Lexa just gave her a serious face, “Please come sit with me.” Clarke just looked at her for a moment, before turning and shoving Raven one last time before sliding down next to her.
Once the movie was over Luna stood up, “I’m going to bed too guys.” She bent down and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
Luna stopped at her bedroom door and pointed towards Raven, “Good luck getting her in bed.”
Lexa looked over her shoulder and saw Raven was completely knocked out. She and Clarke shared a look that basically said, how annoying it was going to be to get her up.
Lexa stood up first, she put her hands out to help Clarke up. Once they were both up they looked down at Raven who until Lexa looked at very closely seemed to not even be breathing.
Clarke bent down and began shaking Ravens shoulder slightly. “Ray, we have to go to bed.” There was absolutely no sign that Raven heard her.
Clarke bent over and began tapping ravens check lightly. “Ravennnnnn.”
“Are you sure she’s alive?” Clarke looked up and rolled her eyes, Lexa shrugged. “What she seems basically dead.”
“She is a naturally heavy sleeper. Now add in that she was drinking I think it might be impossible to wake her up.”
So where was she supposed to sleep then? She sat herself back on the floor like a child having a tantrum, and she knew it. Clarke just watched her, eyes widening.
Clarke crossed her arms over her chest and just looked down at her on the floor. “Really Lexa? Stop pouting and get up.”
She looked up at her eyebrows creasing, “I don’t pout!”
Clarke raised an eyebrow and squatted down next to her. Clarke leaned in close to her, Lexa felt the need to pull back but she was already pressed to the couch, there was nowhere to move. Clarke ran a finger over Lexas bottom lip, “What do you call this?”
Lexa sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and bit down slightly, she saw Clarkes eyes watching her movement. “Clarke.”
Clarkes eyes snapped up to her eyes, “Yeah?”
“Where am I going to sleep?”
Clarke glanced over and looked at Raven, and then at Lunas bedroom door. “Well Raven isn’t moving, do you want me to try and get Octavia up and into my bed so you can sleep with Luna?”
Lexa looked down at the floor and shook her head no, she didn’t want that. She felt Clarke lift her chin up and look at her directly in her eyes. “You won’t actually be able to sleep with Luna, will you?”
She couldn’t say anything, she felt embarrassed, what was wrong with her? She looked away from the intense blue before her and shook her head slightly. Clarke moved her head so they were looking at each other again. “You slept with me on the couch, do you want to sleep in my bed tonight? Or at least try to?”
“I don’t know if I can.” Clarke just nodded her head again but stood up offering Lexa her hand. Lexa looked at it a moment before taking it and letting herself be pulled up.
“I’m just asking you to try, if not then I guess we are pulling an all-nighter and I’m okay with that.”
Clarke didn’t let go of her hand but led her to her bedroom closing the door behind them. She only let go when she began looking around for something. She just stood there awkwardly waiting, trying to figure out what Clarke was doing.
Clarke turned abruptly smiling at her. “Friends marathon?”
She felt herself smiling, “Definitely.”
**Clarkes POV**
Clarke sat on her bed and pulled the covers back laying on her stomach and placing the computer against the headboard. She began logging in before she realized Lexa was still standing by the door.
“Come on Lex.” She patted the space next to her and pulled the sheet back.
“Do you think Luna will get mad?”
Hearing those words Clarke felt her heart drop for a second, she didn’t know what to say. If Lexa was her girlfriend and she was sleeping in bed with a girl who had feelings for her she would be mad. But Luna didn’t know, Lexa didn’t know that.
She didn’t say anything though, Lexa shook her head and gave a small very fake sounding laugh, “never mind she is sleeping with Octavia and I don’t care.”
“Octavia is straight and into Lincoln.”
Lexa just looked at her, she couldn’t figure out what she was thinking and she wanted to know what was running through her mind at that exact moment more than anything. But Lexa looked ready to turn around and walk right out of the room.
It took all of her strength but she broke their eye contact, “I’m about to press play, get over here.”
She didn’t take her eyes away from the screen until she felt Lexa settle down next to her, noting how Lexa made sure not to touch her at all. She couldn’t see Lexas face because her hair was in the way. She didn’t hesitate she reached over and moved it over her shoulder. Giving Lexa a small smile when she looked at her questioningly.
Lexa sat up and pulled her hair into a ponytail using a band that was on her wrist before laying down again. She looked over at her expectantly from the screen back to her face. Clarke ran her hands through her hair. “I always lose my bands, it’s the only reason my hair is always down.”
Lexa cocked her head to the side and glanced at her own wrist before looking away and biting her lip in thought. “I could braid it so it isn’t in your face if you want.”
Clarke wanted to say yes but she saw Lexas hesitation and it made her hesitate too. She looked into her green eyes and tried to figure out what to do. “If you want to, I would appreciate it.”
Lexa nodded and sat up motioning for her to do the same. Clarke sat up and Lexa crawled behind her sitting on her knees to get a better angle. She began piecing Clarkes hair apart.
“You can press play, I can multitask.”
“Are you sure?” Clarke turned her head to look at Lexa which made her huff and swat for her to turn back around.
“Yes, just don’t move your head.”
Clarke nodded her head in acknowledgment earning herself another swat to the head.
“Clarke!”
She threw her hands up in frustration, “sorry!”
She pressed play, they were barely into it when she felt and heard Lexa laughing behind her. It took everything in her not to turn around and look at her, because she knew Lexa looked beautiful laughing.
“Where did you learn to braid hair?” She felt Lexa stiffen behind her, her laugh quickly gone. Lexa didn’t say anything, if Clarke hadn’t felt the physical change she would have sworn Lexa hadn’t heard her.
She didn’t ask again but changed the subject to try and get her to relax. “Do you think the girl Chandler is talking to is hot?”
She felt Lexa shift and place her head right above her shoulder for a moment, their cheeks only two inches apart, she held her breathe until Lexa moved back.
“She’s okay, what do you think?”
“Nothing too special.”
She felt a couple more tugs on her hair but then Lexa let go. “Finished.”
She stood up and walked over to her closet which had a full length mirror on the door, she ran her fingers over her hair. It was beautiful, she was honestly impressed especially with how fast it was done.
She looked away from her hair to see Lexa leaning on the wall watching her through the mirror. “This is amazing, thank you.”
Lexa looked down and began playing with her fingers, she didn’t look up when she began talking. “Costia, that’s her name.” Clarke watch as Lexa shook her head and looked up towards the ceiling. “That was her name. She taught me how to braid when we were little.”
Clarke didn’t know what to say she didn’t know if she should even say anything at all, it was clearly hard for Lexa to talk about this. So instead of saying anything she turned around and grabbed Lexas hand and pulled her back towards the bed. Laying back down and motioning for Lexa to do the same which she did.
Except this time she didn’t face the laptop, she laid on her side holding her head up in her hand, she waited without saying anything, not wanting to pressure Lexa into talking. Lexa looked at her for a bit before she looked down and began tracing the pattern on the quilt.
“She was my best friend since sixth grade, she moved in next to me that summer. We went to middle school and high school together.”
She stopped talking again, stared up at the ceiling for a moment taking in a deep breathe, that’s when Clarke realized she was trying not to cry. She reached out and cupped Lexas cheek running her thumb along it, trying to calm her down.
Lexa gave her a sad smile before moving her hand away from her face. Clarke clutched a piece of the blanket in her hand trying to find something to ground her, something to keep her from doing anything she could to make Lexas pain go away, because that kind of pain wasn’t the kind that went away it was just one you had to learn to live with.
“We went two different colleges thirty minutes apart, it happened the beginning of junior year. I went to visit her, I… we argued a lot but never anything big, nothing we couldn’t get over. But that night I stormed out of her room during a fight over some stupid guy she was friends with. I just needed to go for a dive so I did.” Lexa took a deep breath in, her face was getting redder and redder from trying to hold her emotions in.
“She called my phone when she went looking for me and saw my car was gone. I ignored her calls turning my phone off, I just needed a couple of mintues. She thought I left back to school so she started driving that way. She got hit by a truck, died instantly.”
Clarke spoke without thinking. “You blame yourself.” It didn’t come out as a question but as a statement. Lexa just nodded her head, laying to face the computer once more and pressing play on the show.
Clarke watched Lexa watch the show, she paused it quickly and Lexa looked at her, she looked completely exhausted.
“Clarke don’t, I’m done.” She held up her finger to silence her, Lexa raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“I just wanted to say thank you.”
Lexa nodded in response before laying her head down on her arm closing her eyes, still on her stomach but her head facing her. Clarke knew she was going to fall asleep but she pressed play on the episode anyway. She could tell Lexa was having problems falling asleep with all of her movement.
She reached over and untied her hair from the ponytail it was in. Lexas eyes flew open and she grabbed Clarke hand.
“Shhh this helps me fall asleep when I can’t, lets see if it works for you. Lexa nodded and closed her eyes as Clarke began running her finger through Lexas long hair, mainly massaging her scalp as her attention was more on the show itself.
Lexa scooted closer to her, their legs pressed together, Clarke front touching the arm that Lexa used as a pillow even though there were plenty on the bed. She felt when Lexa fell asleep, her entire body relaxed and her breathing became lighter.
Clarke leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Lexas cheek, Lexa who acted so strong in front of others but who let her walls down for her. She wondered if Luna got to see this side of her, she hoped she didn’t.
She turned the computer off and placed it under her bed before fully laying down again, in her sleep Lexa curved her body into hers. She wanted to wrap her arms around her but knew that wouldn’t be appropriate so she just let Lexa lay as she wanted. She just liked being able to be this close to her at all, she didn’t need anything more.