Chapter 14
It was late and dark when they made it to the room. Carmilla thought Laura was going to fall asleep in the elevator but when she unlocked and opened the door, Laura’s eyes lit up and a fresh wave of energy seemed to take control of her. “It’s huge.”
It was not a penthouse but it could be. Laura spun around the room and when she went to wash the airplane off of her, Carmilla tried to follow. Carmilla was only glad Laura refused when she came out of the bathroom wearing a long t-shirt and thigh high socks. Carmilla grabbed her around the waist and they fell onto the bed amidst Laura’s squealing. She was not wearing anything for very long.
“Laura,” she whispered softly to gently bring Laura out of her sleep, “Cupcake, wake up.”
The body next to her wiggled and a sighed but was still asleep. Carmilla threw her arm across Laura’s body and pressed kisses against her neck, “Laura.”
Laura grumbled and Carmilla smiled against her neck. Laura rolled over and she planted her neck kiss right on her lips. Laura sighed into it and Carmilla pulled her closer. She could stay in bed with Laura all day but she wanted to get out and show Laura all of her favorite places. She wanted to see Laura sitting by the fountain in the Royal Gardens. She wanted to walk up the middle of the Champs-Élysées hand in hand. She wanted to explore the riverbanks of the river Seine with the girl she loved. None of that could happen if they never made it out of the room, which by the way Laura’s hands were sliding down her waist, it was becoming a good possibility.
“Bonjour, ma chérie.”
Laura giggled but stopped distracting Carmilla with her wandering hands, “Are you going to speak in French the entire time we are here?”
“Peut-être,” Carmilla nuzzled into Laura’s next before removing the covers and whipping back the blinds. Sunlight streamed into the room and Laura gasped, “Carm! Everyone can see you!”
Carmilla chuckled, “We’re so far up, creampuff. If the rooms across the street want to have a look, then let ‘em.”
Laura crawled to the edge of the bed and grabbed Carmilla’s arm, pulling her back to her, “I don’t want them to have a look.”
Carmilla pecked her on the cheek and pulled the sheet from where it was tucked in on the bed and wrapped it around herself with a flourish, “Is this better?”
Laura rolled her eyes, “It was unnecessary. You have clothes.”
Speaking of clothes, Carmilla picked up a tank top and threw it at the bed, hitting Laura in the face, “Ugh. Thanks?”
“Well get ready, cupcake. You’ve got a lot to see,” Carmilla sauntered into the bathroom and could just hear Laura mutter, “This wasn’t even what I was gonna wear.”
She smiled to herself in the mirror.
Paris was the first stop on the trip. There was so much to do that Laura passed out every night as soon as they returned to the room. Carmilla stayed up with the doors to the balcony open, the curtain fluttering in the night air. She breathed in deep. The stars were mixed in with the lights from the city that scattered as far as her eye could see.
They walked down streets hand in hand. They sat at a tiny table to drink tea and eat pastries at Carmilla’s favorite café as Carmilla tried to teach Laura some simple French; she did not catch on very well. Laura got bored at the Louvre but she acted excited for Carmilla who could easily spend hours in one room. Carmilla made them reservations at the top of the Eiffel tower and they also took the ferry so it in its entirety lit up with the city as a backdrop. But on the day when Laura almost tipped over the gondola by reaching over the side to point at something, Carmilla had decided that it was decide to move on.
Amsterdam was next on the list. They visited the photography galleries. Laura ate her body weight in cheese. Laura forced them onto a cycling tour much to Carmilla’s dismay. Carmilla took Laura through small neighborhood markets. When Carmilla wandered into the book market, Laura spent two hours trying to pull her out of it. They picnicked on the lawns outside of the De Haar Castle. All Laura could talk about was Hogwarts and Carmilla shut her up by stuffing cake in her face and then kissing her. They tumbled onto their blanket; Laura’s giggling interrupted the people around them who were not too pleased. Laura had pushed Carmilla back up and apologized.
In Rome they saw the Pantheon. Laura sat in the Colosseum. Then, she got them lost amidst the winding cobblestone streets and Carmilla did not mind that most of the time there was spent trying to find their way back to the hotel or eating beside fountains.
To get away from the city, Carmilla took Laura to Greece and they watched sunrises and sunsets on the top of mountains. They watched alone, finding the most secluded places that no one came to and Carmilla used that to her advantage more than once. They swam in pure blue coves and snorkeled the reefs. Next was Italy where they drank more wine than they should have and spent much of the days in their room.
The last place on Carmilla’s itinerary was England. Laura said it was the best because Carmilla did not have to constantly translate for her. They went to London but the hustle and bustle of the city soon got to them and they retreated to Cotswolds. It was a place of festivals and they spent a week listening to music in the back of large crowds.
And before they knew it, Laura’s last travel article had been completed and her time off was at its end. “I know it’s the last night but I want to take you somewhere.”
It was nothing too special. But Carmilla walked Laura out to one of the hills overlooking the town in which they were staying. There was a picnic blanket spread out with a basket of wine. Laura smiled, “Are we going to look at the stars?”
“I thought we could,” Carmilla replied. The stars laid out in a vast array above their heads. Laura cuddled into Carmilla’s shoulder. “You promised me a graduation present and took me on this incredible trip instead.”
“It was still your graduation present, cupcake,” Carmilla purred.
Laura rolled onto her side and kissed Carmilla, cradling her face in her hands, “It was so much more than that.”
Carmilla kissed her back. “I love you, Carm.”
“I love you too.”
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Kirsch entered the room after knocking to find Will bent over his desk. He had been held up by a few Zeta’s who had been new recruits when he had graduated. They had wanted to catch up and after a bunch of pats on the back that left his skin stinging, he had taken the stairs two at a time, to Will’s room. A small bed with a blue comforter sat in the back, left corner. The wardrobe was in the center of the back wall. Kirsch barely managed to fit himself in the room when he was a resident but somehow, Will had fit a television and a futon. Will’s desk, where he sat, was along the right wall. He was bent over a book, not looking up as Kirsch entered. “Hey, Will.”
“Hey, buddy. How’s it going?”
Kirsch settled himself on Will’s bed, “Can I ask you a question?”
“Shoot,” Will pointed at him with a pen before scratching something down on paper. Kirsch blurted out the words, “Would you be my best man?”
Excitement bubbled up in Kirsch but deflated when Will didn’t turn around. “Yeah, dude. Sure.”
Maybe I missed something. Kirsch waited in silence thinking he was going to have to ask again, when Will turned, almost falling off his chair, “Wait? You’re serious!? You mean now?”
He pulled Kirsch up off the bed and into a huge hug, “Congratulations! Of course, man. Wow!”
Kirsch was smiling wide at Will’s joyous reaction and his expression was mirrored by Will when he pulled out of the hug. “Dude, I know I couldn’t have picked someone better.”
Kirsch had run through a list in his head but Will always stood out. They had had an immediate connection and he knew Will always had his back. Will was his best friend. No one else but a best friend to be a best man.
Will clapped him on the back, “I’m honored and so happy for you.”
Kirsch could not have been happier with Will’s reaction and the day couldn’t come fast enough for his tow best friends to stand by his side as his future wife walked down the aisle. “Does anyone else know yet?”
“Danny said I could ask you but we were wanting to get everyone together for an announcement. Carmilla and Laura aren’t back yet,” Kirsch explained. Will sat back down at his desk chair, looking extremely surprised but excited, “They’re supposed to get back tomorrow.”
“Yeah, we were thinking next weekend. We don’t really want to keep it from everyone for too long.” Will raised an eyebrow, “You’re using ‘we’ now. This is really happening.”
Kirsch smiled, thinking of Danny, “Yeah, it is.”
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Lafontaine plugged their ears as Laura squealed, “Jeez, L. You wanna invite the whole neighborhood?”
Laura was holding on tightly to Danny who looked happy and also worried that her bones would break. Cooper was running around, barking happily; it seemed to be his mission to knock them over. There was another squeal as Laura let go of Danny, “I am so happy for you!”
“Thanks, Laura,” Danny smiled. Laura had moved onto Kirsch who was swinging her around. Lafontaine nodded at Danny, “Congratulations but I still could’ve done without the rupturing of my ear drums.”
Will called over from the grill, “Are you guys gonna want food or…’cause in about a minute I think we’re gonna be out of luck and I don’t know how to work this thing.”
He had a beer in his hand and was just staring at the burning food. Lafontaine handing their drink to Perry, “Are you kidding me?"
They stomped over to the grill and looked at Will. They held the tongs out in front of his face, “You’re a medical student and you couldn’t just,” they started picking the food off the grill and setting on the plate.
“What if it wasn’t done cooking yet?” Will argued. Lafontaine almost didn’t know what to say because Will could be a total imbecile sometimes; they blamed it on living with the Zeta’s for so long. “If something is about to burn, I’m sure its finished cooking.”
They whacked him on the back of the head. He didn’t look mad, “Okay, I should’ve seen that one coming.”
“Yeah, you should’ve. At least your boyfriend has some common sense. Where is he by the way?”
“He is vacationing with his family,” Will responded and then called over to Danny, “By the way, I told Zayne and he asked me to congratulate you guys, so that’s what I’m doing.”
Danny shook her head and waved at the table, “Sit down, sit down.”
Kirsch and Danny’s backyard was quite big and they had set up a long table on their deck to fit everyone with benches on either side. Lafontaine went to sit down next to Perry who was still talking to Danny about the wedding. “Have you chosen your bridesmaids yet?”
She looked over at Kirsch, “We haven’t really talked much about that side of things yet. The fact that we’re engaged is still pretty new.”
“Except for me,” Will said, looking please with himself, “I’m the best man.”
Kirsch gave him a look, “Dude, do you wanna get slapped again?”
Will put up his hands in surrender, “I’m sorry. I’m excited.”
Lafontaine started passing dishes around the table, “Well, don’t ask me to be the person of honor or anything because I know nothing about weddings.”
Danny shrugged, “I don’t know if I really want a bridal party.”
“Oh, you have to have one!” Laura exclaimed, “Everyone does.”
“Since when have you been one for tradition, cupcake?” Carmilla asked. She had been silent since the announcement and the usual half-effort she put into pretending she still did not enjoy their company was lost. She was squirming like she wanted to be anywhere else. Laura grabbed a hold of her arm and rolled her eyes, “But it’s a wedding, duh. You have to do usual wedding things. It’s required.”
Carmilla looked nauseous. Lafontaine spoke up, “Laura, you’re gay. If you ever get married, nothing about your wedding would be called traditional.”
Laura sat back in her seat and pouted, “I hate when you guys gang up on me.”
“I’m still thinking about it. I just haven’t made up my mind,” Danny added, “But, Kirsch and I have talked about something else and Perry, we would love if you would work the wedding.”
Perry stuttered and looked back and forth between Danny and Lafontaine, “Oh, well that’s really nice. But, the bakery has never done something this big or important. We don’t even really make cakes. No one there knows how to design a wedding cake or what even goes into that. You might want to find an actual wedding cake service.”
“Nope, it has to be The Cookie Jar,” Kirsch said. He has a smug look on his face. Danny continued,“But we also aren’t looking for a cake. We decided that’s not what we want. Instead, we want cupcakes.”
Carmilla snorted and started coughing, choking on her drink. Laura made sure she was okay but was just waved off, “I’m fine. Just went down the wrong pipe.”
The lie was blatant. Everyone knew that was Carmilla’s number one nickname for Laura. “You don’t have ownership of cupcakes, Carmilla. Get over yourself.”
Carmilla pulled Laura into a side hug, “Except for this one.”
“That’s disgusting,” Lafontaine commented.
Kirsch tried to save the conversation, “You’re cupcakes are amazing, Perry. I mean mind-blowing. I take a bite and I forget what I was thinking.”
“Isn’t that just a normal thing for you?” Lafontaine said with a mouth full of food. Perry looked offended by the comment but Kirsch just shrugged it off. He was used to the taunting. Lafontaine swallowed, “You know what, Kirsch. The joke was there for the making but it was rude so I’m sorry.”
They whispered to Perry, “Look, I did it without you asking me to.”
“I shouldn’t ever have to,” Perry scolded.
“No, its okay. I set myself up for that one,” his attention was still more focused on the cupcakes, “But you’re cupcakes really are amazing and we want them at our wedding. They don’t need to be all fancy or anything but we would love if you would take the job.”
“Oh, this is a wedding,” Lafontaine stated, “They will look fancy.”
“Well,” Perry said indignantly, “You don’t show up to a wedding half-dressed and neither will my cupcakes.”
Danny acceded, “We really, really appreciate it Perry.”
“Well, now I’m going to need to know everything. The theme. The colors. What season is this going to be in?”
“Woah, woah, woah, Perr. Slow down. They haven’t gotten that far.”
“We will let you know as soon as we come to a decision.” Perry looked like she was already starting to worry about it and Lafontaine sighed. They pointed at Perry, “Look at what you’ve done. I’m gonna hear nothing about anything except for these cupcakes until your wedding has come and gone and even then, I’m sure she’s gonna start worrying about whether everyone liked them or not.”
Perry furrowed her brow. “But, that is exactly what I love about you, Perr.”
“Nice save, Lafontaine,” Perry responded dryly. Lafontaine took a hold of Perry’s hand and squeezed, trying to make her understand that they were being sincere. Perry half-smiled and shook her head; Lafontaine would take it.
After they all ate, Lafontaine found Carmilla sitting in the yard with Cooper practically in her lap. Lafontaine fell to the ground next to her, their knees pulled up to their chest. The sun was going down and the yard was cast in a strange light that played tricks on the eyes. “What’s up?”
Carmilla shrugged. “Okay, I’ll rephrase. What is going on with you? I thought you were gonna be sick at dinner.”
Carmilla turned her full attention to scratching behind Cooper’s ears. “Okay, then I’ll just tell you what is going on because I already know and you’re acting like a child.”
“This is how I always act,” Carmilla said. Lafontaine gestured toward Carmilla with their hand, “Did I stutter?”
Carmilla sneered at Lafontaine but they were so used to it that it no longer meant anything. “You’re freaked out by the wedding talk. And you’re even more freaked out about Laura’s reaction to the wedding talk. And you -”
“Just stop,” Carmilla swatted their arm away, “You know you’re right. You can just stop.”
Lafontaine sat looking out at the yard with a smug smile on their face, “I’m not gonna ‘just stop’ though because I think I’m just gonna tell you how you feel since you won’t say it.”
“I don’t need to psychoanalyzed by you,” Carmilla growled. “Ah, well that might be half-true. I’m sure I’m not qualified to do it.”
Lafontaine wanted to laugh at their own joke but the look on Carmilla’s face had them swallowing it. “You’ve never once thought about marriage because that’s not your thing. It never was and even though you’re absolutely, one hundred percent, in love with Laura, it still never crossed your mind. You just thought you’d always be together but not through marriage. You would just be Laura and Carmilla. But now, you’re realizing that Laura has definitely thought about marriage. But, she’s never talked to you about it and I have two theories about that actually-”
“I don’t want to hear either of them.”
“-Knowing Laura, she’s probably entirely oblivious to your feelings on the subject and she herself is just too nervous. Because even though you’re it for her and I’m pretty sure she’s it for you, she would never think that. If you haven’t noticed, Laura doesn’t think much of herself. She probably is still wondering why you want to be with her. And so she would never bring it up in fear of chasing you away. Or,” they drug the word out, “She is a lot more observant than I give her credit for and she knows how you feel about the topic so would never bring it up in case you ran away. Because you’ve had the tendency to do so in the past. So, those are my theories.”
They were very proud of themself. But, Carmilla just sat silently. She did not react in anyway and did not even respond. Lafontaine nudged her, “I could go on, if you’d like. I’m sure there’s more stuff to bring up here.”
“As much as I enjoy this psych eval, no. I know you have a brilliant, scientific mind, Tweedledum, but you are not much of a detective.”
“So, marriage doesn’t completely terrify you and you do have a heart?” Lafontaine smiled when they said it. It was not supposed to be mean, only joking.
“No, you’re right about that. And that I never thought about marriage before. I mean, most of my life up until meeting Laura was just a constant stream of girl after-”
Lafontaine grimaced, “Okay, yeah, I get it. You were a player.”
“You’re words, not mine.”
“Then what am I wrong about? Because that sounds like you agree with me” Lafontaine urged her on.
“I’ve had a ring picked out for Laura since before she graduated from Silas,” Carmilla said it with a shrug like it was nothing. Lafontaine blanched, their mouth dropped open and they just stared. They were completely speechless. Their mind went blank. Carmilla looked over and huffed, “Nice face.”
“It’s been over a year.” Carmilla nodded, “I know.”
“And you’ve just been holding onto this ring all this time? What are you planning that is taking so long?”
“Nothing at the moment,” Carmilla confessed, “At first I was going to ask her when she graduated but then I realized that the thing most important to her then was her career. I wasn’t planning on standing in the way so I decided to hold off. She was extremely busy at The Journal that is never seemed like I could because there would never be time to actually do anything about it. Then she had her accident. She told me she didn’t actually like her job and then never talked about that again. I didn’t want her to latch onto us getting married as what would fix that part of her life because it wouldn’t. I didn’t want her to regret or blame the decision when she realized she still didn’t like her job.
Then I quit my job and we somehow ended up with a cat and then we moved into a new place that was actually our place and a lot was going on. All of that stuff made us happy. I stopped thinking about it because it no longer seemed important. We were fine just how we were. She didn’t even have time to go on the trip I wanted to take her on so there was still no time for a wedding. Then the holidays and we were surrounded by everyone and I thought, why not? Why am I still waiting? So I finally planned out the trip. I got her to go and I was gonna propose then. I guess I got cold feet because it just never happened. I had so many opportunities and I just never did it,” she gestured at the deck, “And now those two giants are getting married and it would feel like I got the idea from them or I was trying to steal their thunder. So, more waiting.”
Lafontaine stared at her, “I think that is the most words you’ve ever said to me. Or maybe even said in your life.”
“Just forget it,” Carmilla said, making to get up.
“No, no,” Lafontaine pulled her back down, “No. I can’t tell you what to do. I wasn’t expecting that. I had no pep talk ready for that. But you don’t have to write it off.”
“You can’t tell anyone, alright? I don’t want Laura to know so no one else can know. I shouldn’t even have said it to you.”
“You’re right. I live with Perry and she can get anything out of me.” Carmilla glared, “If you say anything, I will personally -”
“Stab me with a knife? Cut my head off? No, you won’t. We’re way past that. You actually like me and the threats mean nothing.”
“Fine. But she shouldn’t be able to get it out of you because she shouldn’t know you’re keeping a secret anyway.”
Lafontaine backed away as Carmilla’s voice became more intense, “Okay, okay. Even though I’m like ninety-two percent certain you wouldn’t actually kill me, you’re still scary sometimes.”
“Good.”
“Hey, what are you guys doing out there?” Laura called from the deck. Lafontaine put their arm around Carmilla and yelled back, “Oh, just chattin’ with my new bestie.”
Carmilla shrugged off their arm, “In your dreams.”
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Laura was hanging upside down on the couch, pouting. She had been fidgety, constantly moving from one position to the next for the past hour. Carmilla sat with a notebook obstructing her face, periodically checking to make sure Laura was still breathing. Laura let out a heavy sigh and looked at Carmilla. She didn’t look back. Laura did it again. Still no reaction. With the third huff, Carmilla dropped the notebook into her lap, “I know you’re bored.”
Laura twirled herself upright, “I miss it."
“What?” Carmilla questioned. Laura rolled her eyes, “Dressing up. Having a party to go to,” she got off the couch and took ahold of Carmilla’s shoulders, “Halloween.”
She said it with big eyes and a wide mouth and one easy tug had her falling, laughing into Carmilla’s lap. “I do not.”
“You love it,” Laura’s brow furrowed. Carmilla may not have enjoyed the people at the parties but she had always gotten dressed up with Laura, taken pictures, and gone. Carmilla poked her nose, “No, you love it.”
Laura sat up suddenly, “Then why’d you do it?”
“Because it made you happy,” Carmilla shrugged. She was always nonchalant about her feelings when Laura found them to be declarations. “Because you love me?”
“Of course because I love you,” Carmilla said but then her face changed and she looked worried, “But you’re not gonna make me do it again, are you?”
Laura giggled at the face, “I don’t even have anywhere to go. But I still miss it.”
Bagheera jumped up on the chair next to Carmilla’s head and Laura’s eyes widened with an idea, “Why don’t we compromise?”
Carmilla quirked her head but let Laura continue, “We can dress up Bagheera!”
Carmilla raised her eyebrows, “I think its only fair that Bagheera has a say in it.”
Carmilla lifted the cat in front of her face and began talking in the voice she always used when talking to the cat, “Serious question time, Ra-ra.”
Laura smiled at the nickname. Carmilla had absolutely refused to shorten Bagheera’s name. When Laura called the cat “Bags” one day, Carmilla looked like she was going to have a heart attack. But one day, Laura caught her saying “Ra-ra” and she could not go back after that. The name stuck. “Do you want your mommies to buy a ridiculously expensive costume and then stuff you into it? It’ll be uncomfortable and hot and -”
“Hey!” Laura interrupted, “You sound biased. You can’t be biased.”
Carmilla looked at her, “Laura, the cat is not gonna answer.”
Right at that moment Bagheera let out a soft meow. Laura jumped up and pointed, “That was obviously a yes!”
Carmlila shook her head, “I speak fluent cat. That’s was definitely a ‘please don’t ever.’”
Laura crossed her arms, “Unfair. You’re not allowed to speak however many languages you speak plus cat.”
Carmilla shrugged and set the cat on the floor, “The world works in mysterious ways, cutie.”
Carmilla picked up her notebook and Laura peered over the top, “What’s that?”
“My book.”
“You’re writing a book?” Laura asked. Carmilla sighed and set it down again, “Not if you keep talking to me about it.”
“Since when did you decide to write a book?” Laura asked, her voice very high-pitched. Carmilla told her everything, especially the important things or so she thought. Writing a book seemed like a very important thing and yet she was wracking her brain for any memory of knowing and could find nothing.
“Cupcake, we’ve talked about this at least two times,” Carmilla stated. Laura shook her head, “No, I would’ve remembered.”
Carmilla nodded and brought the notebook back up, blocking out Laura’s face, “That’s what you said last time.”
“We’ve never talked about this before,” Laura said exasperated. “Yes, we have, Laura. It’s fine that you don’t remember. You were really swamped at work. You’re always swamped at work. Even after all those travel articles. Its fine.”
“I hate it,” Laura said quietly. And she had really come to. The travel articles were fine and all but they were her payment for being away for so long. She would never have been able to go otherwise. She was always working on something or another; that’s how her entire life had been. Laura made sure she was always busy because she liked being busy and she liked helping people but she still hated her job. It was a lot of work but she was not helping anyone with what she was writing; it did not seem important. But if she stopped, then the worked stopped and she had free time and she hated free time. That’s when she started thinking about things she never wanted to think about. So she didn’t quit and she pretended for everyone but Carmilla.
“I know you do.” Laura fell onto the couch, laying on her back and staring at the ceiling, “What would I do without it? Who would I be?”
“There’s a lot of things you could do and you would still be Laura.” Laura heard her but did not understand what Carmilla meant so rambling seemed like the best option, “I’d have nothing. I’d have nothing to do. I’d be more bored than I am now and I shouldn’t even be bored now. I have an article due. I’m procrastinating. It’s like I’ve made it a game to see how close I can get to the deadline before having to pull an all-nighter just so I don’t get fired from a job I hate. That’s the game I’m playing. Not only do I hate my job but I hate the game.”
“Yes, you’ve said. We’ve had this conversation many times before. I can’t tell you what to do. You already know what I think.” Laura sat up at her words, “I’m not quitting.”
“Okay,” Carmilla said, seeming much more interested in her writing that what Laura had to say. Laura frowned.
“Okay,” she dragged out, “I guess I’ll just go write the article. I’m not quitting.
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The holidays almost passed Kirsch by without him noticing. They had set a date and found a venue for the following fall for the wedding but it still seemed like every ounce of free time that either he or Danny had was filled with wedding questions. Kirsch had taken Danny home to his parents for Thanksgiving. His parents gave him a lot of flack for not introducing Danny before she came his fiancé. Laura showed up later that night having come into town to see her dad. Kirsch had asked about Carmilla but she seemed irritated so he dropped it.
And then Christmas was spent at the Hollis’ again. It always reminded Kirsch of when he and Laura were kids. That was his second home and even if he didn’t need it anymore, it was nice to know it was still there. Mr. Hollis seemed to be reveling in having the house full again and Kirsch realized just how much he had changed since Laura became a part of his life again.
Despite being a Zeta and knowing exactly how to throw a raging party, he fell asleep on the couch with Danny way before midnight on New Year’s Eve.
Knock. Knock. Kirsch tapped his fingers against the wall as he waited for the door to be answered. No one came but a voice called from inside, “Itsss open!”
He turned the handle and sure enough it was so he let himself in, “You know, that’s really not safe. You should keep that locked.”
“Yeah, yeah, meathead. Whatever ya saaaaayyyyy.” The voice was definitely Carmilla’s but it did not sound like Carmilla. She appeared from the hallway, dressed in only an oversized black t-shirt. A dark liquid filled a glass she was holding out to him, “Want one?”
Kirsch narrowed his eyes, “No, I’m driving. But, thanks.”
She shrugged and fell onto the couch, “Suit yourself.”
“Are you alright?” he asked. He had not seen this side of Carmilla for a very long time and was disconcerting.
“Yeah,” she said too loud, “I’m great. Just fine. Everything is perfect.”
It was completely sarcastic but the door opened before Kirsch could say anything and Laura came in, “Kirsch? What are you doing here?”
“Laura’s home,” Carmilla was off the couch in a second, pulling Laura into a hug and kissing all over the side of her face. Laura grimaced and pushed her away, “Are you drunk?”
“Maybe.”
“Not maybe. You smell like you consumed a whole liquor store.” Carmilla pouted and tried to kiss her again but Laura kept pushing her away. Carmilla finally gave up and put her hands up in defense, “Fine.”
It would have been strutting if she weren’t so intoxicated but it was more like she stumbled over to the half full glass and poured herself another drink. Kirsch turned back to Laura, “Is she okay?”
Laura shook her head, ignoring the question, “I didn’t know you were stopping by.”
“Danny wanted me to pick up the flashdrive of the photos you said you had for the slideshow.” Laura nodded, “Yes, of course. I’ll go get it.”
When she disappeared, Kirsch sat down next to Carmilla who was trying to write something in a notebook, “You’re not fine.”
She glared at him, “And what do you know about it?”
He gestured at her, “This is not fine.”
“I feel pretty great,” she slurred. He shook his head, “What happened?”
Her gestures were bigger than necessary, “Nothing. Laura goes to work every day and hates every second of it and I’m stuck here, hating every second of it. Everything seems perfectly fine to me.”
Laura cleared her throat from the hallway and Kirsch knew she had heard everything. He turned to Carmilla and whispered, “You’ve gotta do better.”
She snarled at him but he had already left the couch to meet Laura, “Are you sure everything’s okay?”
She gave him a small smile, “I wasn’t the one who said it was.”
He was concerned but she shook her head, “It’ll be fine.”
“Okay, call if you need anything. You know you can always do that, L.” She was walking him to the door, “I know. Thanks, Kirsch. Tell Danny I said hi.”
The door was not entirely shut and Kirsch heard Laura pleading, “Carm, it’s been over a week. You can’t keep –“ and then the door shut and the voices were blocked out.
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“Careful!” Lafontaine looked at her for the hundredth time, obviously annoyed. “Perr. If I am any more careful, I would have to stop walking all together.”
Perry ignored them, “Set it down. Gently. Good.”
They were loading the cupcakes into the back of the van to deliver to the wedding. After this point, Perry was no longer in control of what happened to the cupcakes. She was terrified. Finn was taking care of getting them safely to the venue and setting up for the reception since Perry and Lafontaine both had to attend the ceremony. Perry gave Finn the instructions one last time before Lafontaine ushered her into the car, “Perr, if you told that boy one more time what he needed to do, you might as well just tattoo it on his arm.”
“This has to be perfect. This is the first time The Cookie Jar’s name is going to be on an event like this. And we can’t let Danny and Kirsch down.”
“They could never be let down. Everything will be fine. They’ll love it.”
As far as Perry knew, there were no bachelorette or bachelor parties for Kirsch or Danny. Over the summer they hosted a get together with friends that was almost like a wedding shower, however there were no gifts. A bunch of Kirsch’s old Zeta buddies were there as well as Danny’s Summer Society friends and it seemed that graduation was the buffer between the two groups because there was none of the animosity that had been so rampant during their years in school. Will had been in charge of that party or at least he took it into his own hands anyway
Danny had chosen to not have a wedding party and Will was the only member of Kirsch’s so he was in charge of a lot of things. Most importantly he was on ring duty and after Danny walked down the aisle alone (she refused to be “given” away and no one was surprised) he held the two rings out for his best friends with the most confident smile on his face.
Perry thought everything was beautiful. The wedding ceremony was in a large pavilion on the end of a beautiful lake an the reception was to be held down the lake a little ways in a big, white tent that had been strung up with lights and set up with beautiful flowered table settings. Danny and Kirsch had worked very well together to get everything organized in time and though a lot of work, it went very smoothly. Neither of them turned into monsters about it and they were both very go with flow when it came to flower arrangements or venues or music. Perry could not even imagine it and there would be no way she would ever not be worried about one aspect or another. Everything would have to be perfect months before the wedding; that would be the only way. She had plans for a future wedding, not because she thought about it a lot, but because she refused to wait until the last minute and rush things. The process took a lot of hard work and she was going to have it all planned out if it happened that she did get married.
Kirsch and Danny said their own vows; Lafontaine made gagging faces at the parts Perry thought were the sweetest. When they were finally allowed to kiss, Kirsch whooped, Danny slapped him and then they kissed. Exactly how it always would be.
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“Are we finally done?” Danny asked Kirsch who sighed, “I hope so.”
They had spent the last hour or so going about and saying thank you to everyone who had attended. It was tedious and Danny just wanted to be able to enjoy her wedding, not feel obligated to the people who were there. Their food was waiting for them at their table and Danny could feel her stomach grumbling. She hadn’t eaten all day. Kirsch seemed just as excited to eat but only a couple bites in and they were being called up for their first dance. Despite the hunger, Kirsch took no time before bowing like an idiot and taking Danny’s hand to lead her to the makeshift dance floor.
Neither of them were good dancers and with everyone watching they both felt better to hold onto one another and sway a little bit. Kirsch attempted a spin but after that, they he just held onto her. Kirsch smiled, “Wow, you know what?”
“What?” Danny amused him.
“We get to have sex tonight.” Danny snorted, “Kirsch, we’ve had sex many times before.”
He looked around as if searching for someone who might have overheard them, “Sssssh. That’s scandalous. You don’t just say something like that.”
“You’re ridiciulous,” she said, but there was nothing that was keeping the smile from her face. He gave her an expression as if to say “duh” but then went on, “But now I get to sleep with my wife. That’s new. I’ve never done that before.”
“Neither have I,” Danny said in return. Kirsch eyed her for a second, still smiling, “You had to go there. You couldn’t just let me have it.”
“No, definitely not. I will always go there,” she smirked.
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The soft twinkling of fairy lights shed a faint light across the beautifully manicured lawn that stretched out from the crowded tent to the moonlit lake. The night air was warm and inviting, the crickets were chirping, hidden somewhere in the trees that ringed the clearing. The lights were strung from the trees, lighting the pathway from the tent to the dock, but Laura and Carmilla had wandered, finding a quieter spot away from the party and closer to the lake that rippled, the water lapping at the banks. Away from the tree covering, the sky was open before them; no clouds were anywhere to be seen and the stars spanned across the sky endlessly. The grass was soft but cold, a relief from the heat in the congested space back at the pavilion.
Laura was laying on her back, arms at her sides, when she looked over at Carmilla who was intently observing the night sky. One arm was resting under head and the other was settled on stomach, scrunching the tie that had been so neatly fixed earlier. Laura could see out of the shadows the soft curve of Carmilla’s lips that hinted at a smile. Her breathing was steady and Laura smiled, knowing how content and safe the stars made her feel. Laura could stare at her all day, especially in these moments when she was unabashedly herself. When she let everything fall away and was able to enjoy the moment. When she was vulnerable because she trusted Laura with everything.
Laura was not sure how long they had been lying there on the grass because just as Carmilla tended to lose herself in the stars, Laura found it equally as enticing to lose herself in Carmilla. She had just made the decision to inch toward her when Carmila moved, reaching a hand into her pocket while sitting up. Even unbuttoned, her suit jacket crinkled but she did not seem to notice the minor disturbance. Laura was on her side watching Carmilla who looked like she was searching for something on her phone before she abruptly stood up. Laura felt her breath hitched when Carmilla looked down at her, beaming in her own way, her eyes full of awe and if Laura was not reading it wrong, love. That hint of gold that Laura loved was back in full force, lighting up the usually dark eyes as they smiled at her. Carmilla reached out a hand for Laura to take and easily pulled her up to standing position. Carmilla bowed at the waist, still holding onto Laura’s fingers, “May I have this dance?
Laura giggled at her extravagance and also because there was no music, but she knew Carmilla had something up her sleeve so she nodded. Carmilla bent all the way to the ground, setting her phone in the grass, before pressing play and redoing the buttons on her jacket. The music was loud enough for just them and a piano began to play, only one note repeated. Carmilla set one hand on Laura’s waist causing the dark purple fabric to rise up slightly but she paid it no mind, her focus on one thing only and that was the glorious face of the girl in front of her. Laura found her hand being placed on Carmilla’s shoulder and then took her other hand and brought it to her lips, kissing the back of Laura’s hand tenderly before lacing their fingers together. Perfectly timed as she was, the piano morphed from one note to a melody.
Kiss me, out of the bearded barley.
Nightly, beside the green, green grass.
Swing, swing, swing your spinning step
I’ll wear those shoes and you will wear that dress.
Laura recognized the lyrics but not the voice. It was obvious to her though, maybe simply because Carmilla chose it, that this was much better than the original version. Carmilla swayed them slowly, the girl who knew how to dance keeping the movement simple for once. Laura thought it was more of a decision for the atmosphere, that just the two of them needed nothing of the flash and show that Carmilla usually aspired to perform.
The look in Carmilla’s eyes made Laura want to melt; the feeling told there had a long story that Laura was not sure she would ever know in full. But the fact that Carmilla showed that, opened it so that Laura knew it was there, was something she cherished.
Carmilla brushed Laura’s hair behind her right shoulder and caressed her cheek, the touch sending nervous energy through Laura’s skin. Carmilla brought her lips to Laura’s, pulling her into the kiss with so much feeling that Laura felt herself rise up on her toes. Carmilla’s lips never parted for anything more but instead, pulled back, her hand dropping from Laura’s cheek to her waist where it then slid across her hip to her back. Laura moved her own arms to clasp around Carmilla’s neck, bringing them even closer than before.
The music drifted off into the night, surrounding their bodies that moved as one, slowly and in one spot, but the effect was still had. Laura had thought she had been content with just looking at Carmilla from a distance, but having her in her arms, she knew then what home felt like. It was warm and enticing and complete. It was how she had felt with Carmilla for longer than she had even allowed herself to believe and those months, though she would never think their friendship a waste, those months were lost. Ignoring emotions that were so obviously portrayed had wasted precious time that would have been better spent like this. And they had been arguing so much lately, everything seemed to be wrong, that she forgot how simple it was just to be with Carmilla.
Laura must have been thinking harder than she had imagined because softly, Carmilla spoke, “Hey.”
Laura shook her head and looked up at Carmilla whose head was cocked to the side, her eyes earnestly searching and when Laura smiled, they were reassured. The question was still asked though, words solidifying physical behavior, “You okay?”
“Yeah, I was just thinking.”
Carmilla chuckled and Laura did not think she could ever go a day without hearing that sound, “What else.”
“You’re wonderful, you know that? I wish there was another word to use but whenever I look at you, I’m just at a lost for words.”
“Laura, you’re never at a loss for words.”
Laura sighed, “Can you just for once, let me have something?”
“Nope,” and before Laura had a chance to make a come back, Carmila’s lips closed against her’s again. It was chaste which was unusual but not unwanted in any way. Any kiss from Carmilla took Laura’s breath away and even when Carmilla pulled back again, her eyes stayed closed and her lips tingled from the aftereffects.
The silence is what pulled Laura back because she had not realized the music had died out. Carmilla was still holding her, “I know I haven’t been easy and I know things have been hard but this feeling in this moment, is what we need to always remember,” she paused, searching Laura’s face, “Darling, I live in you, I love you so.”
Laura was taken aback by Carmilla’s words because they seemed so old and out of place in Laura’s world but when they came from Carmilla’s lips, they seemed so normal. Carmilla’s tone whenever she spoke words like these was always so passionate and honest; it was a core truth for her and always took Laura by surprise. If she would be perfectly honest, the earnestness in which these words were said even scared her but more importantly, they were a reminder that no matter that she thought, Carmilla really was hers and hers alone.
Laura reached up and pecked Carmilla’s lips, not moving them far enough away so that when she spoke, their lips still touched and she felt Carmilla’s breathe leave her mouth slowly, “I love you, too.”
Though she did not use as extravagant of words, the meaning was the same and the smile on Carmilla’s lips told her that they were more than enough.