robbers

R O B B E R S

chapter 3/6
part 1/2

iii. drunken thoughts and drunken wishes (are sober realities)

They go to a party.

Camila has honestly never liked parties. She doesn't understand what's the point in going if music is always too loud so you can't talk; if people are always too drunk to function.

She kind of hates it, to be honest.

She goes, though, because Lauren is the one to ask her. Who is she to refuse such an invitation that could possibly lead to Lauren being drunk and saying things she (maybe) doesn't have the courage to say sober?

Who is she?

And, so, she goes. Now, after three cups of whatever-the-fuck was in those red drinks (almost straight vodka with only a tiny bit of Soda and food coloring), Camila is tired.

She finds a bedroom that is too inviting for its own good and sits beside the bed table, staring at the window; back against the bed.

She's drunk and staring at stars and a night sky. Of course she is going to scramble her thoughts with things like 'I wonder if when I die, I'll become one of these shining stars--ha, rhymed--and if my light will go out once I go through the...other side'.

She chuckles at her own brain's choice of words.

It goes on and on. Thoughts tangling with each other, connecting like those dots forming one big picture.

Lauren finds her on Lucy's (the gorgeous house owner) bedroom, looking at stars with glassy eyes and a smile on her lips.

"Hey, loner," Lauren says, slightly (that's a lie) drunk too.

Camila acknowledges her presence with a smile, showing Lauren white teeth and a scrunched up nose.

"Sorry. It was all too loud for me," Camila says looking back at the window as Lauren sits beside her.

Lauren smiles a bit and shakes her head fondly.

Lauren is so beautiful though. Her green eyes are shining due to the moonlight and her hair is a perfect mess; lips so rosy and kissable.

Camila is staring and she knows it. Her head is resting on her arm that is on the bed now, hands stretched on Lauren's direction.

Camila looks at her like she's a masterpiece and smiles really softly.

Lauren smiles back and gets in the same position of Camila.

Fingers touching, Camila's eyes is closed now but she's still smiling.

She doesn't open them even when Lauren intertwines their fingers slowly; even when Lauren starts to slide her thumb on Camila's palm--back and forth, side to side.

Just smiles wider.

"Camz," Lauren merely whispers, "have you ever been in love?"

Camila barely cracks an eye open and runs her thumb on Lauren's palm this time, "yeah, have you?"

Lauren chuckles at her sleepy state and shakes her head.

"I'm not so sure. I... liked this boy, and," she gulps and squeezes Camila's hand a bit, "I don't think I've ever liked someone as much as him but it hurt me...Liking him, I mean. Not because I kept overthinking things and was insecure but because he was an idiot. I don't know why I'm talking about this I just," she laughs bitterly, "wanted to know what love--real love--feels like, I guess... If-if it's supposed to hurt that way and if in the end it should all be worth it."

Camila sobers up a little and pushes their joined hands so Lauren's forearm lays on Camila's shoulder and hers is on Lauren's waist.

Camila's expression gets dangerously serious.

"It's not. I promise you, once you feel love, you'll know. You'll just-I guess everything will click and you'll be like," she looks at Lauren and runs her fingertips on her waist, "Yes, I feel happy right this moment and I want to feel more emotions but with you by my side."

Lauren closes her eyes, rests
her head on Camila's shoulder and once Camila envelops both of her arms on her, she sighs happily.

"Would someone fall in love with me?"

Lauren breathes on Camila's neck and Camila looks down at the back of her head.

"If someone had the chance to really know you," it's on the tip of her tongue: 'like I do'. She thanks everything and everyone that she doesn't slip it. "I don't know how they could not fall in love with you, Lo." Camila runs her fingertips on Lauren's covered spine.

Lauren looks up at her, "yeah?"

Camila smiles, looking at shining green eyes, "definitely."

They are at a party. They are drunk.

Camila knows this isn't the moment to kiss Lauren.

Even though every (drunken) thought of hers is screaming to feel the sweetness that looks Lauren's lips and their fullness that invites her in every time she looks at them.

She doesn't kiss her.

Because kissing her--for Camila, anyway--now means proclaiming all of the things she has been feeling since the moment they exchanged their first conversation; it means 'I want to be yours' covered in gloss and colored as pink.

And if Lauren feels the same--if Lauren wants the same--Camila needs to kiss all the right words on her lips and say all the right things on her kiss.

Turns out Camila didn't get a confession. Turns out--also--that Lauren is pretty cling when drunk. (Which is true to Normani's word. Camila found her, at one point, almost kissing a girl she dated and hated; Lauren's excuse was 'she was a good cuddle, just thought a kiss would be a good thank you').

"Thank you." Lauren whispers to her but she still doesn't kiss her.

She prays, instead.

Prays to whoever is out there--whoever or whatever is in control of people's lives (if there's any) that if Lauren falls in love...It's with someone who falls for her just as much as she fell for them.

Even if it's not with her.

Lauren deserves that.