What a Media Circus
Lexa wakes up the next morning to a million texts and updates. Her phone is blowing up. Lexa groans and reluctantly pulls herself out of bed to look at what all the fuss is about.
From Anya [9:32 A.M.] : Hey Lex. Have you seen Clarke’s new music video?...You should really check it out.
BREAKING NEWS : Clarke Griffin’s recently released music video for her hit single ‘Betrayal’ has created a storm in the clexa fandom. Looks like Lexa Woods has some explaining to do. Click on the link below to see the video for yourself.
From Titus [10:15 A.M.] : Alexandria, as your manager you have to tell me things. What is this I’m hearing about Clarke Griffin’s new music video? I have talk shows calling me left and right to get your side of the story. Call me as soon as you can. We have to sort this out.
“Shit.” Lexa mumbles to herself. She hurries over to her computer and looks up the new video. It’s Clarke. She’s playing on the guitar Lexa gave her for their one year anniversary. Anyone who is a fan of the couple knows how special this guitar is to Clarke..and to Lexa. Clarke never brings it out on tour because she’s afraid it might get ruined. Fans only see it in home videos on Instagram or Periscope or even Snapchat. Clarke is making an obvious statement by using this guitar. This video is about Lexa. The guitar confirms it.
The title of the song, ‘Betrayal,’ makes Lexa wince. She knows it’s about the cheating without even listening to it yet. Clarke looks sad in the video. It breaks Lexa’s heart. Most music videos are filled with acting, but not this one. You can tell the sadness in Clarke’s eyes is real.
Did she do that thing that makes you gasp so loud? Did she make you beg and whine? Did she give to you all night? I’ll never see your face again without her lips to your neck. I’ll never look in your big green eyes without seeing your new lover’s pride. It’s makes sick. Your betrayal puts me on the rails. I can’t get off. I can’t hide. Your betrayal fucks with my mind.
Lexa listens to the begin of the song before pausing it. It’s heartbreaking. She doesn’t even care that this video basically confirms she cheated. She deserves the backlash that will come from this. She deserves it all.
Not a moment later, her phone rings again. Lexa groans. She should get used to all the notifications. The media isn’t going to die down anytime soon.
Twitter Update from Octavia Blake [12:29 P.M.] : Check out my girl’s new music video ‘Betrayal.’ It’s amazing! I’m so proud of her for taking nobody’s shit. The one before me doesn’t realize what she’s lost. #ShesMineNowBitch
Lexa all but growls at the tweet. “Are you fucking kidding me?” Lexa whispers out incredulously. Lexa hates Octavia Blake. Not because the love of her life is dating the rock star. No. It’s because she’s a bad influence on Clarke. She’s possessive and she’s trouble. She’s going to drag Clarke down with her with all the drugs and partying. Lexa won’t let that happen.
///
Clarke wakes up with a massive hangover to the sound of her phone going off like crazy. Shit. She forgot that today is the release of her new music video. Fans must be going insane over the song.
Clarke wrote that song in the weeks following her and Lexa’s split. It’s angry and bitter and utterly broken. Maybe she’s still all those things, but she doesn’t want to hurt Lexa. When she wrote that song, she just wanted Lexa to feel as shitty as she did.
Her music producers encouraged her to make a video for it. They said it would be the most successful song on the ‘White Powder’ album. And so far, it’s doing amazing on the charts. It was just released today with the music video and she’s already gotten texts from her producers congratulating her on the success.
From Octavia [12:18 P.M.] : Hey baby. Just woke up with a killer hangover. Heard about the success with Betrayal. Celebratory shots later?? I say we party a little with the rest of the Arkers crew then we have our own party. My bed was so cold without you last night :(
Clarke looks at the text and sighs. She doesn’t know what she’s doing anymore. Octavia is fun and light and easy. But she’s so tired. Seeing Lexa yesterday made her open her eyes. She’s been forcing herself to believe she’s happy with Octavia. But nobody will be Lexa Woods. That will never change.
“Hey Clarkey. Want some bacon?” Raven pops her head into the bedroom and smiles.
“Yes please. My head is pounding right now.” Clarke mumbles as she greedily grabs some bacon.
“I could only imagine. How much did you drink last night?” Raven lightly asks, trying not to push Clarke. Clarke swallows down the bacon and looks at Raven with a knowing look.
“I’m okay Raven.” Clarke says softly. “I’m not spiraling.”
“You’re not?” Raven asks incredulously. “Clarke, you are using again. Don’t try and deny it. You promised me you weren’t doing drugs.”
“Rae..” Clarke says weakly.
“No! Don’t you Rae me, Clarke Griffin. You are killing yourself, you do realize that right?” Raven says, frustrated. Clarke is her best friend, her sister. Raven was also in the foster care system with Clarke. They grew up together and they are family. Clarke only has two people in her life who ever meant anything to her other than her father, and that’s Lexa and Raven. For Raven, she’s only ever had Clarke.
“I...I just need to feel okay. Doing this.. it makes me feel...I don’t know..it makes the pain go away.” Clarke struggles to find the right words. Her voice is broken. Raven’s eyes soften. Raven moves to sit next to Clarke. She cups the blonde’s cheeks.
“In the moment, it might make you feel amazing. But it’s doing more damage than you can ever imagine. Clarke, you’re smart. Please, think about what you’re doing to yourself. Think about how this affects everyone around you.” Raven says gently.
“I don’t have anyone anymore. I have you. That’s it. You’ll be okay without me.” Clarke says quietly. Raven fumes.
“Are you fucking kidding me?! Clarke, that has to be a joke. You are my sister. You are the only person I have! You matter to me. You matter to your real friends. Not those Arker assholes you’ve been hanging around. You matter to your fans. You don’t realize how many people you depend on. And I know you don’t want to hear it, but you matter to Lexa.” Raven says firmly.
“I don’t want to talk about Lexa.” Clarke says in a dangerously low voice.
“Yeah I know. You never do. But now you’re going to. This whole Lexa thing is eating you alive. You need to sort this shit out before it gets you killed.” Raven says seriously. “You need to talk to her.”
“I can’t..I can’t do that.” Clarke’s lip trembles.
“Well then you need to talk to me or a therapist or give your sponsor a call! I bet you haven’t called Harper in months. You need to open up Clarke.” Raven encourages strongly. She can’t lose Clarke.
At that moment she gets a phone call from Octavia. Clarke bites her lip, contemplating not picking up. Raven gives her that ‘you better not answer that’ look. Clarke looks apologetic but answers nevertheless.
“Hey. Yeah sorry I know. Okay..um yeah we can do that. I’ll see you in a few hours.” Clarke hurriedly talks to Octavia. Raven can only hear one part of the conversation but she can tell Clarke has just made plans to go out again tonight. Raven shakes her head.
“You’re not going out tonight.” Raven states firmly.
“Yes I am.” Clarke says defiantly. “I just need to let loose a little.”
“If you’re going out, then I’m coming with you. You can have three drinks, that’s it. If you try to do drugs or drink more than that, I am dragging you out of the club by your pretty blonde hair.” Raven says calmly.
“Raven, I know you’re trying to help but you aren’t my mother. You can’t control me.”
“Maybe not. But I am doing this to make sure you don’t end up like your mother.” Raven says calmly and Clarke’s eyes darken with anger.
“Raven, you’re crossing a line.” Clarke says, her voice furious and low.
“No Clarke, you’re the one crossing a line. And I’m afraid if you keep going down this road, you won’t have a chance to make things right this time.” Raven says sadly. Clarke sighs and wipes the few tears in her eyes away.
“5 drinks tonight and you’ve got yourself a deal. But only for tonight.” Clarke mumbles defeatedly. She’s embarrassed, humiliated that her best friend has to monitor her drink intake. She’s ashamed that she is bartering the amount of alcohol she can have tonight. Because she knows she won’t be able to make it through the night with only three drinks.
“4 drinks. That’s it.” Raven says in a stern tone.
“Fine.” Clarke huffs. “I need a shower. I smell like-”
“Like garbage. Yeah I know.” Raven teases lightly. Clarke chuckles. “I’ll let you shower. I’ll be in the kitchen.” Raven gets up and walks toward the door.
“Hey Rae?” Clarke calls out to her and Raven turns around expectantly.
“Thank you.” Clarke whispers sincerely. Raven smiles softly and sadly.
“It’s what family does. We look out for one another.”
///
Clarke and Raven arrive at the bar and immediately Clarke goes to the bar. Raven sighs but nevertheless follows her.
“Hey can I have your strongest cocktail please?” Clarke asks sweetly. Raven huffs.
“Really Griff?” Raven asks, slightly put off.
“I’m just trying to make the most out of my four drinks.” Clarke puts her hands up in defeat. Raven rolls her eyes and orders a soda. She plans on being entirely sober tonight. She needs to look out for Clarke.
The night goes by slow for Clarke since she’s not drinking. She’s had three of her four drinks. She has a bit of a buzz but barely anything. She has one of the highest tolerances she knows of.
She’s dancing up close to Octavia when her phone starts going off like crazy. She ignores it, assuming it’s about the music video. She goes back to grinding with Octavia. It’s getting heated and she’s getting turned out. Octavia turns out and kisses Clarke hard. The blonde moans into the kiss.
“Clarke, we have to go.” Raven says apologetically. Octavia glares at her. Let’s just say, if looks could kill, Raven would be six feet under already.
“Rae..” Clarke whines. “You said four drinks! I’ve only had three.” Clarke whines some more until she sees the look in Raven’s eyes. It immediately sobers her up.
“Listen sweetie, Costia Greene was just interviewed by some TV talk show. We need to get you out of here before the media swarms you.” Raven speaks sadly. Clarke feels a knot in her stomach forming. The blonde kisses Octavia goodbye despite the rockstar’s protests that she should stay out and party more. Clarke follows Raven out the back entrance and her best friend drives them back to her house to avoid the media frenzy that’s probably already camped outside of Clarke’s.
As soon as they get home, Clarke demands to see the footage of the interview. Raven hesitantly puts the interview on.
“Good evening folks! Tonight we have actress Costia Green here discussing her latest film ‘Grounders’ and her lovely beguiling costar Lexa Woods. Now Costia, tell us what was it like working with Hollywood’s sweetheart?” The talk show host is charming and asking all the right questions. The tan dark haired beauty that is Costia Green smirks. There’s a glint of mischief in her eyes. Clarke wants to punch that perfect smirk right off her face.
“Well..” Costia chuckles before continuing. “I have to say that Lexa was by far one of the best costars I’ve ever worked with. We got so close on set and I think that’s why our chemistry was so palpable. Such a good lover too - on and off screen.”
The crowd gasps. The talk show host is at a loss for words. Clearly, nobody expected those words to come out of the actress’ mouth.
“Are you saying that you and Lexa were together romantically off screen?” The talk show host leans in. You can tell he’s happy with where this interview is going. It’s going to get millions of hits. There are rumours about what really happened to break up the ever so famous ‘Clexa.’ But nobody truly knew the real reason. That is, until today. Between the music video and Costia’s admission, it’s now obvious to everyone that Lexa cheated with Costia Greene.
“Yes we were. It was a fleeting affair but it did happen. There’s no use denying it.” Costia said nonchalantly.
“Now Costia, I’m sorry to ask but did this ‘affair’ happen when Lexa Woods was still with her longtime girlfriend, Clarke Griffin?”
Costia grows silent for a second. She pretends to look guilty.
“I am not proud of my actions, but yes it did.” The crowd erupts into chaos. Gasps and vulgarities are bleeped out of the taping. “Lexa and I were together only once. It’s not my finest of moments but I want to come clean. I saw Clarke’s new music video and I realize how Lexa and my actions destroyed a relationship. I want to formally apologize to Clarke for hurting her so deeply. I hope this can be a new chapter for both of us.” Costia pretends to be torn up, even shedding a few tears.
It's bullshit and Clarke can tell. It's all part of an act. Her managers probably wanted her to get ahead of the curve once Clarke's music video came out. It's obvious Lexa cheated but the media was still speculating with who. But there were pictures of Costia leaving Clarke and Lexa’s apartment months ago. It wasn't a far stretch to figure out what really happened. Costia is one manipulating bitch.
Clarke is fuming. She mumbles a few curses while she hurried out the door. Raven tries to follow after her but Clarke quickly loses her in the chaotic Manhattan streets. Clarke hails a taxi. Raven is right. She needs to confront this head on. And she knows just exactly where to go.
///
Lexa is sitting at home reading a poetry book that her and Clarke always used to read when they were young and in high school. They would lay in bed naked taking turns reading a page to one another. Lexa yearns for those days again. She turned her phone off because she couldn’t deal with the constant texts and updates.
Who did Lexa Woods cheat with? Why did she cheat? Did Clarke cheat first? She was going crazy reading all those messages. So instead, she made herself a cup of tea and is reading the book that holds so many memories to her.
Suddenly, she hears a series of angry knocks on her door. She is startled out of her deep reading and hurries to the door, hoping that a reporter didn’t slip through her security. It’s happened before. She looks in the peephole to see none other than a very angry Clarke Griffin. Lexa immediately opens her door and Clarke stomps right in.
“Clarke..uh hi. Are you okay?” Lexa asks worriedly and confused. She hasn’t seen Clarke for months and now she’s seen her twice in two days. She’s not complaining but hell if she isn’t confused.
“Am I okay?” Clarke sarcastically asks before bitterly chuckling. “Am I fucking okay? Your little girlfriend just went on air raving about your skills as a lover, Lexa.” Clarke voice is tired and broken beneath all the anger, Lexa can tell.
“What?” Lexa asks breathlessly. There’s no way Costia went on air admitting to the affair. They agreed to never speak of it again.
“Don’t act so fucking surprised! Isn’t cheating on me enough?!” Clarke shoves Lexa hard. “Do I really have to listen to the sordid details on air?!” Clarke furiously wipes her tears away.
“Clarke...I - I had no idea she did this. I promise, I would never have let this happen. I’m so sorry. Please believe m-”
“I don’t have to believe shit from you, Lexa! You broke my trust. You broke my heart! Do you think it’s fun hearing about how skilled you are in bed from the woman who you had sex with while we were still together? Did you make her come, Lex? Was it more than once? Did you-”
“Stoppit!!” Lexa screams out. Lexa never yells. Clarke is stunned into silence.
“Clarke, I have no excuse. I don’t know why I did it. I felt betrayed. I-”
“You felt betrayed.” Clarke scoffs, rolling her eyes.
“You told me you felt something for Luna! You told me that there was a moment where you felt connected to her!” Lexa cries out. Clarke’s eyes widen. She remembers that fight just like it was yesterday.
///
7 Months Ago
Clarke and Luna’s band just finished up a set in New Orleans. It was an exhilarating concert. The fans were really alive.
“Hey Griffin. You wanna come out with us tonight?” Luna calls out while packing up her guitar.
“I would but I have to Facetime my girlfriend. Maybe next time.” Clarke says regretfully. She really wants to go out with them. They seem like so much fun, but she has to call up Lexa. The distance has been really rough on the pair. They both miss each other so much but instead of expressing that, they just wind up miscommunicating and ending up frustrated.
Clarke settles into her hotel room and calls up Lexa. Lexa picks up within a few rings. Her eyes are bright and happy. She’s missed Clarke so much. It doesn’t help the fact that Luna is always around. The last two Facetime calls, Luna was in the background painting her toes on Clarke’s bed or watching a movie in Clarke’s hotel room. Ok, so maybe Lexa is a little jealous.
“Hey baby.” Clarke smiles wide and Lexa sighs in relief. Luna isn’t there this time. Thank god.
“Hi babe. How was your concert?” Lexa asks sweetly.
“It was amazing! The fans were really into it.” Clarke responds excitedly.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself. I miss you.” Lexa says honestly. Clarke’s eyes soften.
“I miss you so much Lex.” Clarke responds sincerely back. “Tell me what you miss about me.” Clarke says seductively. Lexa bites her lip. She’s not one for doing things over video call but her and Clarke have had to be creative these past few months.
“Is Luna there? I don’t want to say anything dirty if she’s in the room.” Lexa teases. Clarke bites her lip to hide her smirk.
“No, Luna wanted me to tag along with the band tonight but I had to Facetime you so I couldn’t go.” Clarke says casually but it stings Lexa a bit.
“Oh.. baby you could have gone out. I don’t want you to see video calling me as a chore.” Lexa replies honestly, even though she’s a little hurt. She looks forward to these calls with Clarke. It’s the best part of her week. It’s kind of sad to know it isn’t the same for Clarke.
“It’s not a chore, Lex.” Clarke rolls her eyes playfully. “I love you dumby. I just like hanging out with the crew and with Luna.
“You’ve been hanging out with Luna a lot lately.” Lexa tries to say without jealousy seeping through her tone.
Clarke bites her lip to hide her frown. “Yeah.” Clarke mumbles. Lexa’s stomach is in knots. Clarke looks guilty of something. But she doesn’t know of what.
“What is it, Clarke?” Lexa asks hesitantly. “Is..” Lexa gulps. “Is something going on between you and Luna?”
“No!” Clarke exclaims quickly, quelling Lexa’s fears for at least a moment. “I haven’t touched her at all.”
Lexa’s eyes grow sad. Her heart feel like it’s being ripped from her chest. “But you feel something for her.” Her voice is vulnerable and broken.
“I...no?” Clarke says unsurely.
“That sounds more like a question, Clarke.” Lexa looks away from the camera to hide her tears.
“Look Lex, I love you. I am in love with you. That’s all that matters.” Clarke says reassuringly.
“Answer the goddamn question, Clarke!” Lexa screams out. It’s one of those rare moments where Lexa screams. Her voice suddenly grows fragile again. “Do you have feelings for Luna?”
Clarke looks away from the screen. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel connected to her.” Clarke mumbles sadly. Lexa chokes back a sob.
“Oh.” Lexa quietly says. “I see.” Lexa wipes away her tears.
“Lexa, it’s not like that though. She’s just an amazing woman, but I am in love with you. I don’t want to be with her. I want to be with you.” Clarke says honestly. Lexa nods.
“Clarke..” Lexa wipes her tears away.
“Baby, why are you crying?” Clarke interrupts hers.
“Clarke, listen to me.” Lexa says firmly. Clarke grows quiet. “I think...I think maybe you should explore these feelings you have for Luna. I can’t..I don’t want you staying with me out of obligation. If you have feelings for her, you should just-”
“Lexa, stop! I don’t want to break up. I’m not in love with Luna. I don’t want to explore my feelings for her! She’s just a friend and that’s all she will ever be. Now stop with this crap. I love you.” Clarke says desperately. She knows they aren’t in a good place but she doesn’t want to end things. She loves Lexa. Is she attracted to Luna? Sure. Does she have romantic feelings for her? Absolutely not. Luna is a friend, that’s it.
“Clarke..”
“Don’t Clarke me Lexa! I’m sick and tired of you acting like you know what’s best for me. I’m not your fucking child. I’m your girlfriend.” Clarke spits out. She immediately covers her mouth as soon as the words fly out of her mouth. She doesn’t know where that came from.
“I - I’m sorry you feel that way.” Lexa says, wide eyed and stunned.
“Shit, no I’m sorry. I’m being a bitch. I just..” Clarke sighs out, rubbing her temples. “Being away from you is really hard. There’s a lot of temptation here.”
“You..you mean Luna?” Lexa asks sadly.
“What?” Clarke’s broke from her thoughts. “Fuck no. I meant alcohol and drugs. Lexa, I told you I love you. Luna isn’t a temptation for me.”
The second Clarke speaks of her addiction, Lexa immediately forgets about Luna.
“Clarke..if you think you’re going to relapse, you have to cancel the rest of your tour. Luna will understand. You can’t put your health at risk baby.” Lexa says firmly.
“I can’t do that.” Clarke says in a stern voice. “This is my career.”
“Clarke, this is about more than your career. This is about your life!” Lexa says loudly, frustrated. “I can’t let you do this.”
“Do what? Live my own life?! Lexa, I can make my own choices! I know you’ve been through alot with me. I know you’ve been through hell and back these past few years. You’ve been amazing, standing by me and always supporting me. But I can’t just cancel my tour. Once I’m back in Manhattan, I’ll start going to AA again I promise.”
“You can go to meetings while on the road. We can even hire someone to stay with you on tour to ensure your sobriety.” Lexa suggests.
“No.” Clarke huffs out, stubbornly.
“Clarke, don’t be stubborn!” Lexa shouts out.
“I’m not being stubborn! All I said was that I’m having trouble. That doesn’t mean I’ve done anything yet!” Clarke screams out.
“Clarke, you just said ‘yet!’ That means you’re thinking that alcohol and drugs are inevitable, that it’s only a matter of time until you slip again. Baby, please. Just let me call Dr. Indra. She’ll know how to help you.” Lexa is starting to feel desperate. She can’t watch Clarke do this again. It literally almost killed her the last time.
“Lexa, I know what I’m doing.” Clarke mumbles, annoyed.
“That’s what you said last time! Then I found you on the bathroom floor! Clarke, baby, how about I fly to New Orleans? We don’t have to hire anyone. I’ll just come on the road with you. Think about it being like a vacation.” Lexa says with a sad smile.
“You’re in the middle of shooting a film.” Clarke huffs out.
“Fuck the film. I don’t care about the film. I care about you.” Lexa says truthfully.
“Stop being ridiculous!” Clarke shouts out frustrated. She sighs loudly. “Look, I didn’t want to fight with you. Let’s just talk sometime next week okay?”
“What? Next week? Clarke, we have to talk about this.” Lexa says desperately.
“No we don’t. I need some air right now okay. I feel like the walls are closing in on me.” Clarke mumbles out.
“Okay, just breathe baby. We can talk about something else.” Lexa says soothingly.
“Actually I think I’m going to go meet up with Luna and them okay? I need to get this off my mind.” Clarke says honestly.
“Okay.” Lexa’s hurt that Clarke would rather go spend her time with Luna when she’s struggling. But she understands. “Where are they?”
Clarke goes silent.
“Clarke, where are they?” Lexa tries again.
“They’re just out. I’m not sure where. Listen, I’ll talk to you soon.” Clarke dodges the question.
“Wait Clarke..I-”
Clarke hangs up the phone. Lexa stares at the screen dumbfounded. Clarke never acts like that. Not since she was using. Clarke could be really nasty when she was high. Lexa has seen Clarke at her worst. But today, Clarke might have just been frustrated but it hurt Lexa deeply.
Lexa bursts out into tears. If Clarke relapses, it’ll break her. Lexa is shaking. She feels like she’s going to throw up. The brunette runs to the bathroom and vomits into the sink. Lexa has no idea why she just threw up. Maybe from the sheer emotion of it all. She doesn’t think she can take it if Clarke relapses. She doesn’t even want to think about what Clarke said about Luna.
For once in her life, Lexa Woods isn’t sure if her and Clarke are going to make it. And it scares the shit out of her.
Little does Lexa know, this is only the start of Clarke pulling away from her.
///
“I told you Luna meant nothing to me! Are you saying that you had sex with Costia to get back at me?!” Clarke screams. Both girls are hysterical crying.
“Of course not!” Lexa cries out.
“Then tell me! Tell me why you broke us!!” Clarke screams out. “Tell me!”
“Clarke, we were already broken!” Lexa shouts out. Clarke’s eyes grow wide. “We were broken for a long fucking time. What I did, I ruined us. But we weren’t in a good place for a long time. It’s not an excuse...it’s - it’s just the.. truth.” Lexa’s voice keeps getting quieter and quieter.
“I tried to be perfect for you. I tried to be everything you needed. And then..then you pulled away from me. I thought we were passed the worst of it and then you just pulled away. You wouldn’t talk to me. I always knew what was going on in your head. And then all of a sudden, I didn’t anymore.” Lexa says softly and it’s heartbreaking. “I ruined us. I ruined us because I was jealous and bitter and self destructive. I ruined us but there was only so long I could stay perfect. I broke. I broke and I ruined us in the process. I’ll never be more sorry about anything in my life. I hurt you. I am so fucking sorry Clarke. But please don’t let this ruin the rest of your life. You are more than the drugs you pump into your veins. Please Clarke. Let me help you.” Lexa finishes her spiel and Clarke looks at the ground, tears freely flowing from her eyes.
“I’m...I’m scared this time Lex.” Clarke cries out. “I don’t know if I’m strong enough to fight it this time.” Clarke sobs and falls onto the couch. Lexa hurries to catch her in her arms. The two girls sit there crying in each other's embrace.
“You’re strong, Clarke Griffin. I have never seen a person as strong as you. You will get through this.” Lexa firmly says to Clarke, her voice thick with tears.
“And I want to hate you. I want to hate you so bad. But I don’t know how to do that.” Clarke mumbles into Lexa’s neck. Lexa rocks her back and forth.
“If you need to hate me, that’s okay. I’ll always be here for you.” Lexa whispers quietly.
"I could never hate you, Lexa. I'm always going to be in love with you. Nobody else will ever compare." Clarke mumbles softly and looks into Lexa's eyes. Lexa feels her heart beating faster than ever. Clarke just said...no, she can't allow herself to feel hope blooming in her chest from this. This doesn't mean they still have a change..but god, Lexa can't help but hope for a maybe someday.
"Clarke, I...I'll always lo-"
Lexa is cut off by Clarke's lips on hers. Lexa's eyes widen but she melts instantly into the kiss. The kiss only lasts two seconds before Clarke shakes her head and cuts if out.
“I'm so sorry Lexa. I’m so drunk right now. This doesn’t mean anything. It can't mean anything. ” Clarke lies. She can’t let Lexa think this breakdown is anything more than a drunken mistake. Lexa lets her lie to her, even though she can tell Clarke isn’t drunk. She can smell the alcohol and cigarettes on her that’s for sure. But Lexa Woods knows all too well what Clarke Griffin is like when she’s drunk. And this. This certainly isn’t it.
“I know. I know. Let's just forget about it okay? You can stay as long as you’d like.” Lexa says quietly. Lexa holds Clarke until both their tears die out. Clarke is asleep in her arms. And Lexa doesn’t have the heart to wake her up. Lexa tries to get up so Clarke doesn’t feel uncomfortable in the morning, but Clarke clutches onto her tight. Lexa lays back down and Clarke remains in her arms.. At Least for the night. It’s by no means romantic. It’s comfort. Clarke just needs her best friend back. She needs the most important person in her life to hold her in her weakest of moments. And that’s what Lexa Woods is, despite her mistakes. She is still the one person in the world who can help Clarke find herself again and vice versa. These two girls are lost but maybe, just maybe , they’ll be able to find their way back to each other somewhere along the way.