Chapter 2
The urgency of the cries had Caroline dashing from the sofa to the bathroom before her mind had even had time to register what she was doing. As she pushed open the door her eyes took in the distressing sight of Kate slumped beside the basin, holding her swollen belly, standing in a pool of clear fluid.
"I think my water has broken," Kate stammered, confused and frightened.
Caroline quickly reached Kate's side and put her arms around her waist for both physical and moral support.
"That's not supposed to happen… I'm only 27 weeks."
Instinctively wanting to protect the woman she loved, Caroline pushed aside her own urge to panic.
"It's going to be fine," Caroline said with as much calmness as she could muster. "Sit down here while I call reception and have them arrange for an ambulance to take you to the hospital."
Caroline led her distraught partner to a wooden chair that was in the room and helped her to sit.
"Will you be okay here while I go to the phone in the next room?" she asked.
Through a small groan and a wince of pain, Kate muttered an unconvincing, "Yes, I think so."
Caroline raced to the phone on the bedside table and with nervous fingers dialed through to reception, each ring making her more and more anxious as she waited for it to be answered. After what seemed like an eternity the call was put through and a friendly voice at the other end asked what they could do for her. Caroline, her voice in contrast, quite strained, quickly explained the situation and instructed them to get an ambulance immediately. Once Caroline was assured that they were aware of the seriousness of what was happening and that an ambulance would be called, she hung up and hurried back to the bathroom to find Kate where she had left her, one hand wiping away the tears that flowed down her cheeks while the other stroked her stomach. Kate looked up as she heard Caroline return, her dark brown eyes clouded with worry.
"I dared to think that once I made it past twelve weeks everything would be fine…"she said, her words cut off by a sudden sharp pain.
"It will be fine," Caroline replied in a hushed but hopefully confident voice. "An ambulance is on its way….do you think you can make it down to reception if we take it slowly?"
Kate nodded and allowed Caroline to help her to her feet. She put her arm around Kate's waist to support her and together they steadily made their way the short distance along the hallway and then down the stairs into the reception area. Caroline settled Kate as comfortably as possible on the sofa in front of the fireplace before making her way to the desk to ensure that the staff had done as instructed and that help was, in fact, on its way.
"They've called an ambulance and it should be here very soon," Caroline was able to inform Kate as she sat beside her, holding one of her hands in both of her own and running her thumbs soothingly across Kate's fingers…it was something Kate had done for Caroline many times in the past and it had seemed to work.
The paramedics arrived after only what was in reality, a short time, although for the anxious couple and indeed the concerned hotel staff, it seemed like an age. Within minutes, one paramedic had Kate secured to a stretcher while the other gleaned the necessary details of the situation from Caroline. Kate was then transferred into the back of the vehicle, the doors closed and the engine brought to life.
Despite all her pleading, Caroline was not permitted to travel with Kate to the hospital in the back of the ambulance so she did a frantic dash back to her room, grabbed her car keys, her own handbag and Kate's and followed closely behind in her car. She'd get Celia to collect the rest of her things later and bring them home.
The night was wrapped in a dark and starless sky. Heavy clouds hung in the air with the promise of more snow to fall at some time but, fortunately, since the morning the snow had stopped and the road was clear for now. The headlights of Caroline's car beamed down the black, icy ribbon of road ahead as she sped towards the hospital.
"Slow down," Caroline chastised herself as she eased her foot off the accelerator slightly, "there's no point two of us needing an ambulance."
As the car drove on at a more reasonable speed, Caroline could feel the tears of apprehension and fear that she had been holding back for Kate's sake, start to fall uncontrollably. She attempted to wipe them away with the back of her hand but they persisted, threatening to make it impossible for her to drive. Would it be another case of not fully realising how lovely and precious something was until she no longer had it? Up until now Caroline had been reticent about being a mum again at her age…the dirty nappies, the late nights and sleep deprivation…however, the possibility facing her now of perhaps losing the baby made her realise how much she did actually want this child….not only because she knew how much joy it would bring Kate to be someone's mum but because she too found herself looking forward to having this new life to share and treasure with Kate…somehow it made things complete.
oooOooo
Caroline had marched into the hospital and approached the inquiries desk where she waited impatiently to be assisted.
"Why, when you wanted things to happen quickly, did the world appear to move in slow motion?" Caroline asked herself.
Eventually a young nurse came to the desk and asked if she could help. Caroline explained what had happened and that she was looking for where Kate McKenzie might be.
"Can I ask," the nurse said to Caroline, "what your relationship is to Ms McKenzie?"
With only a slight hesitation, Caroline answered, "I'm her partner."
"Right then, if you'll take a seat, I'll see if I can find out what is happening for you," the nurse responded. "I won't be long," she added as she gave Caroline's forearm a friendly, understanding pat.
Caroline took a seat and waited yet again. While she was there, she took the opportunity to phone Lawrence and explain what was happening and that she'd be home….well, she wasn't sure when she'd be home…eventually… and could he tell his granny what was happening and ask Celia to pick up her things from the hotel and bring them back to Harrogate when she came?
She had only just finished her call when the nurse returned. Caroline jumped up out of her seat.
"Is Kate alright?... and the baby?"
"Ms McKenzie is in the delivery room. The doctors think that she should attempt to deliver the baby naturally despite it being premature but they're ready to perform a C-section if there are any problems," the nurse informed her.
Caroline listened carefully taking it all in, then she asked, "Can I….can I… see her….be with her?"
The nurse nodded. "Sure, come with me."
oooOooo
Her first cry was weak but a cry nonetheless, signifying a new life born. Both Caroline and Kate held each other's hands tightly... speechless....awe-struck... tentatively smiling for, although their baby girl had made it over the first hurdle, there was a long way to go. Quickly the nurse cleaned her up and allowed them a brief glimpse of their new daughter so they could count toes and fingers before whisking her away for the intensive care that she would need.
Caroline gently mopped away the sweat of effort and exhaustion that glistened on Kate's forehead and replaced it with a tender kiss. The attending nurse then signalled to her that it was probably time for her to leave so they could tend to Kate also.
Caroline leant over and kissed her cheek as she asked, "Is there anything I can do for you?... anything I can get?"
"Would you mind ringing my mum and letting her know what's happened?" Kate answered. "Her number is on my phone…do you have my bag?"
"I do…I'll take care of it. You rest and I'll see you shortly, as soon as they let me. I love you."
Too exhausted to reply, Kate simply gave Caroline's hand a weak squeeze.
Once out in the hospital corridor Caroline shuffled through Kate's bag until she found her phone. As she peered out of the large window that overlooked the hospital entrance she could see that it was still dark and only the streetlights yet lit the town. It was the very early hours of the morning. At first, Caroline was unsure as to whether to ring now or wait until a more civilised hour but finally she decided that it couldn't wait and so she found the phone number and pressed "call." A sleepy voice at the other end eventually answered.
"Hello…Mrs McKenzie?... this is Caroline Elliot…Caroline, Kate's partner. She asked me to call you to let you know that she went into labour late last night…..she was rushed to hospital and has given birth to a baby girl….she's premature and it's early days but they're taking good care of her ….Kate's fine….tired but fine…"
Having given Kate's mum all the information she had and reassurances that Kate and the baby were doing well, Caroline ended the call.
It was too soon yet to go in search of Kate so she lingered a bit longer in front of the window looking out over the grounds of the hospital and off into the distance. The first faint rays of sunlight were beginning to push their way into that part of the world. As she stood there watching the new day begin, a thousand thoughts filled Caroline's head. Her life had changed so much in the last year or so, so that she hardly recognised herself anymore. She had been a barely-contented wife who, mostly as a distraction from the mundanity of her marriage, had thrown herself into her career as the highly-competent head teacher of a prestigious public school. She was the devoted mother of two constantly warring teenage boys whom she loved but they were very much of an age now where they didn't want or often need her advice anymore. Her embittered and judgemental mother was living with her and constantly airing her dissatisfaction with the present and her regrets of the past.
Then suddenly a whirlwind of change had whisked through her life. Her mother discovered love and happiness in the form of Alan, a love lost but never forgotten and then finally found again sixty years later. John, her self-centred jerk of a husband had shown himself to be a wanton philanderer and had left her, stranded and stricken, only to come crawling back, his tail between his legs, a few months on. Amidst all this, she had met Kate who, right from the beginning, had been interested and compassionate, taking the time for a few kind words when Caroline had needed them most. She had put up with all of Caroline's woefulness as she confided in her about her marriage break-up and she had been enormously patient with Caroline as she fumbled through the confusion she faced about her sexuality. Then Caroline had blown it…her insecurities and emotional ineptness had lost it for her. It was only then that she had realised how precious and lovely their relationship had been. Now, here she was, just over a year down the track from when it all started, at the age of 46, in a relationship with a woman….by some incredible miracle Kate had come back to her…. and the co-parent of a newborn baby girl. All she could surmise was that life is nothing if not unpredictable and should be made the most of. That was something she was determined to do from now on.
Eventually Caroline pulled herself back from her thoughts and made her way back to Kate's room to check that all was well. Kate lay sleeping, her face more peaceful than it had been in the last few traumatic hours. Caroline sat carefully on the edge of the bed so as not to disturb her and gently rubbed her arm. Kate stirred slightly but didn't wake.
After reassuring herself that Kate was fine, Caroline strolled down to the nursery where their new baby daughter….it was still with some degree of disbelief that Caroline said the word "daughter" to herself…was being cared for.
Caroline eyed off each of the babies in their life-support bubbles, looking for the one with "McKenzie" written on the chart. Finally a nurse inside the unit pointed out to her the fragile form that was baby McKenzie. She too, like her mother, was sleeping. Tubes snaked across her tiny body connecting her to the machines that were monitoring her every function and supporting her new life. The nurse gave Caroline a smile and a "thumbs up" to indicate that the child was doing well.
As Caroline stood by the viewing window staring in at the tiny form, she felt rather than saw a presence beside her. When she looked around she saw a woman who could only be Kate's mother. She was tall but slightly stooped. Her skin was that same smooth coffee-colour and her hair was wiry, heavily tinged with grey. The woman's eyes were unmistakably Kate's as was her mouth.
"Mrs McKenzie?" Caroline asked.
"Yes, love," the woman replied.
Caroline stretched out her hand as she introduced herself.
"Hello…I'm Caroline Elliot…um…Kate's partner."
"I know who you are, dear. I'm Ruth and I'm pleased to finally meet you."
She by-passsed Caroline's extended hand and instead pulled her into a warm, welcoming hug. Unused to such spontaneous displays of affection from complete strangers, Caroline was caught off guard and a bit flustered but she did her best to make a quick recovery.
"That little girl over there is Kate's….our….your granddaughter," Caroline whispered, her voice hitched with emotion as she proudly pointed out the sleeping figure of the tiniest baby in the room. "She's several weeks premature," Caroline added, "but the doctors are happy with her development and seem to think she has an excellent chance of…." Caroline's words petered out. She didn't want to even contemplate this child not surviving.
The other woman gazed tenderly at her granddaughter through the glass that separated them from the sterile conditions within, mesmerised by the small figure fighting for life.
"She's so little and so beautiful…I just want to hold her and tell her that everything will be perfect," Ruth said, as much to herself as to Caroline.
Caroline fully understood this sentiment as it echoed her own entirely.
"Have you seen Kate yet?" Caroline asked.
"Not yet. I arrived and came straight here," the woman answered.
"Come on. I'll show you where she is. She was sleeping last time I popped in, that's why I came to the nursery."
Caroline led the way down the corridor toward the wards, Kate's mum easily keeping pace beside her.
"So you're the one who broke my Kate's heart," Ruth said, more as a statement than an accusation.
Caroline looked at Ruth somewhat surprised and unsure how to answer.
"I didn't mean to…,"Caroline finally answered, "I'm just not very good with things…feelings… but I am getting better."
Ruth took Caroline's hand to show her she meant no malice.
"She loves you, you know, but she is strong and won't be pushed around."
"I know…I haven't been very brave at times but I will try harder," Caroline promised.
"I think that all you should be concerned about …all that is important... is that my daughter loves you and would do anything for you. Do you love her?"
"Yes, I do," Caroline responded, " it's just taken me quite a lot of heartache to realise how much I do love her and to come to terms with that…but, yes, I do love her very much."
Caroline was amazed at how at ease she felt talking openly with this woman she had only just met.
"Well then, Caroline, you need to get your act together because you two now have a daughter to raise," the older woman said, not being backwards in speaking her mind.
A small smile played on Caroline's lips. It was plain where Kate got her feistiness from.
"Yes, I know. I…we will."
"Good, because my Kate deserves to be happy."
"She does," Caroline agreed quietly.
Kate was sitting up in bed looking more refreshed and alert now that she'd slept. The sight of both her mum and Caroline entering the room brought a broad smile to her face. Her mother walked over to the bedside and held Kate in a loving embrace. Caroline stood by the bed observing the relaxed, natural display of affection between mother and daughter and felt a slight twinge of jealousy. Although Caroline and Celia were closer now and generally got on well, physical displays of affection through her whole life had been restrained and discouraged even. She envied Kate this openness.
"I'll leave you two to catch up," Caroline said as she was about to walk from the room.
"Don't be ridiculous," Kate's mother admonished her. "You're Kate's partner. There's nothing we can say that you don't need to hear, love."
"Kate, do you think your mother could talk to mine and help her to overcome some of her prejudices?" Caroline asked, a smile on her face but only half joking. Caroline didn't even want to consider what Celia's reaction to the new baby might be.
Kate returned the smile then tugged Caroline close enough so that their lips touched and they shared a brief kiss. Caroline felt her cheeks redden slightly and she suspected that Kate had done that to her on purpose.
"Caroline, do think you could take me down to the nursery. I haven't seen her since last night?"
"Of course. She's utterly adorable…but then babies are, aren't they."
oooOooo
All three women stood peering, captivated, through the glass window into the room where their baby lay. They watched as the nurses monitored the machines and as she slept, occasionally kicking her legs or shaking her tiny fists.
"Do you think she'll make it?" Kate dared to ask in a voice husky with emotion as she gripped Caroline's hand tightly.
"If she's got any of her mother's feistiness in her she'll be just fine," Caroline answered as she wrapped an arm loosely around Kate's waist and softly traced the outline of her chin with the other hand, her adoring eyes looking into Kate's.
"Your daughter is absolutely beautiful," Caroline whispered and brushed Kate's cheek with a light kiss.
"Our daughter, Caroline….she's our daughter," Kate corrected her in a whisper.
Caroline's emotions had been kept on a tight rein for much of the last two days….much of her life really….but now she unashamedly allowed the tears to flow freely down her cheeks.
"Our daughter is absolutely beautiful," Caroline repeated. "Thank you for such a wonderful gift and I promise to love and cherish you both forever."