Chapter 3
Caroline put Kate's overnight bag on the backseat of her car and opened the passenger-side door for Kate who took one more anxious look back at the hospital entrance as she reluctantly got in.
"Are you okay?" Caroline asked, noticing the slightly distressed look on her partner's face.
"I'm glad to be going home," Kate replied, "but it's very difficult…painful even….having to leave our daughter behind. I want to be with her and watch over her. I want her to be coming home with us so we can start being a family."
"She will come home with us just as soon as the doctors think she is strong enough," Caroline answered trying to be positive but feeling very much the same. It had been an emotional visit to the nursery that day, knowing that they were going home and leaving their baby behind, albeit in the competent hands of the nurses and doctors.
"I know she needs to stay…I know all that…but it doesn't make it any easier to leave her. In some ways it feels like I'm deserting her."
"We're not deserting her…she's where she needs to be….but I know how you feel," Caroline conceded, "and we're only a short ten minute drive from the hospital so we'll be able to see her every day."
With a resigned smile at her partner who she knew was doing everything possible to make this easier for her, Kate put on her seatbelt and closed the car door.
As Caroline drove along, Kate rested her hand on her thigh. Feeling the touch of her hand, Caroline remembered how much she had missed these intimate touches in the time they were apart, as well as the meaningful looks Kate had previously given her…the looks and touches that so often said so much more than any words could say and that she had so easily taken for granted….and how she had craved to have Kate touch her and look at her again after she had blown it. Not for the first time, or the last time she suspected, she chastised herself severely for being foolish enough to ever let this woman slip from her grasp.
Caroline slowed the car down to a stop outside Kate's house, quickly got out and raced around to the passenger-side door to open it for her.
"I'm fine…really I am…there's no need..." Kate laughed, both flattered and a little embarrassed by Caroline's attentions.
"I know…I know…Can you just humour me and let me fuss until I get it out of my system?" Caroline pleaded light-heartedly. "You've been in hospital and that's what you do with people who have been in hospital…you fuss."
"Fuss away then," Kate relented, highly amused by such attention. "My bag is in the back. I suppose I should let you carry it in for me."
"No sooner said than done." Caroline grabbed the bag from the back seat. They walked up the path towards the house, Caroline's free hand around Kate's waist.
Once inside, Caroline put the bag at the bottom of the stairs and then made her way into the kitchen where she found Kate putting the kettle on.
"Would you like a cup of tea?" she asked.
"Sure," Caroline answered. " I hope you don't mind but when you told me yesterday that you were coming home today and you wanted to come to yours rather than mine…I took the liberty of buying you a few groceries. I hope you don't mind…and there's a casserole in the fridge that you can heat up."
Touched by the woman's thoughtfulness, Kate reached out for her and drew her into a warm embrace, her dark eyes looking into Caroline's.
"You are truly magnificent…thank you."
Caroline dropped her gaze, still a little flustered at times by compliments.
As Kate handed her her cup of tea, Caroline asked, "Can we talk?"
"Of course we can," Kate replied, noting the more serious tone of Caroline's voice. "What's up?"
"Kate…you can tell me to go away if you want to… if you think I'm being too annoying…over-bearing…but I don't really feel comfortable leaving you here on your own tonight. It's your first night out of hospital and…well… it would make me feel better if I could stay here tonight…maybe a couple of nights…and make sure you're alright. I'll sleep on the sofa if you'd prefer…say 'No' if you…
"Caroline, don't be ridiculous," Kate scoffed gently, "of course, you can stay…I want you to stay…beside me, in my bed, loving me."
The relief showed clearly on Caroline's face. "Good…thank you…I packed a few things in a bag…clothes, clean underwear, toothbrush…I'll go and get them from the car and then I'll make us some lunch."
"You packed a bag?" Kate teased, "so you were quite confident then that I'd let you stay?"
"I was hopeful…" Caroline began but before she could go any further Kate hooked her fingers into the loops of Caroline's jeans and tugged her in close so that their foreheads touched.
"Caroline," Kate interrupted, "I didn't go all the way back to the wedding to get you just to let you go again."
"Why did you come back?"
"We can discuss that another time. Right now I have something else in mind."
A suggestive gleam appeared in Kate's eyes. She took Caroline's cup of tea and placed it on the bench and then guided Caroline's hands around her waist. Kate then held her partner's beautiful face in her hands and pressed their lips together. During Kate's stay in hospital they had only been able to snatch the odd moments of privacy so kisses had been few and far between. Kate was determined to start making up for this now. The kiss had begun softly with lips playfully chasing lips but it rapidly gained momentum as tongues began to explore wildly and their mouths punished each other for their absence.
Oblivious to anything else other than what seemed to be the need to merge into each other's bodies, the kiss played out for a considerable passage of time before the women finally drew apart, breathless and with pulses racing.
Caroline managed to find her voice first although her breathing was still ragged.
"My god, Kate, surely it has to be illegal to kiss like that…especially so soon after giving birth."
"I think my hormones are still raging," Kate suggested.
Caroline's eyes opened wide with surprise as she felt herself being slowly backed up against the wall and as she noted the seductive expression on Kate's face. She hadn't been expecting this quite so soon although she was more than willing to co-operate.
Kate pressed her body against Caroline's and nipped gently at the smooth skin on her neck, the warmth of her breath setting off a storm of excitement throughout her entire body. Then as she kissed her way back to Caroline's mouth, Kate slipped one hand under the loose-fitting jumper and T-shirt, savouring the feel of the bare skin against her palm. Slowly, she moved her hand up and cupped Caroline's breast, rubbing her fingers over an already aroused nipple. She delighted in the feeling of Caroline's quickening breath. Pulling away slightly, Kate then slid her hand down to the top of Caroline's jeans where she first undid the stud and then the zip, her fingers teasing across the edge of Caroline's panties before slipping her hand inside them until she felt the wetness of Caroline's desire, eliciting a sudden gasp from Caroline as she did so. The touch and movement of Kate's fingers ignited every cell in Caroline's body and their ministrations soon had her teetering on the brink until, with a final gasp, she toppled blissfully over the edge. As Caroline slumped against the wall, her head resting on Kate's shoulder, still enjoying the moment of ecstasy, Kate slowly withdrew her hand.
"I'd love to return the favour," Caroline finally whispered, her voice husky still, "but you're probably not up to it yet?"
"No…it's all still a little tender," Kate replied, "but you'll be the first to know when I'm ready….Right, now where's that lunch you promised me?"
Caroline looked up at her with its amused grin. "I got waylaid," Caroline offered as an excuse, an equally amused grin on her face, as she re-adjusted her clothing, "but I'm on it now."
oooOooo
As they finished their lunch, Caroline collected the plates, put them in the sink and joined Kate on the sofa. Kate took her partner's hand and kissed her fingers.
"Thank you, Caroline. You've been wonderful."
"You didn't think I was so wonderful a few months ago," Caroline replied before she could stop herself.
"Yes….I did, Caroline. I always have…but I didn't think you were as committed to this relationship…to us…you, me and a baby…as I needed you to be," Kate explained.
"I was pathetic," Caroline admitted quietly. "I always worry about what other people are going to think…I have more than my fair share of my mother in me in that respect…instead of just getting on with it…with life…but I don't care anymore. I've been on a steep learning curve during those months without you and believe me when I say that I am fully committed to you and our daughter."
"I think I started to realise that," Kate replied, "when you turned up at the hospital when I was bleeding. I was so frightened and you were there for me."
Caroline gave Kate's hand a reassuring squeeze to affirm all that she had said.
"Have you had any thoughts on a name for her yet?" Caroline asked as a way of lightening the mood. "It seems a bit sad that she's a week old and doesn't have a name yet, although she did pop out unexpectedly."
"Well…yes, I do….and you can say so if you don't like it," Kate answered. "What do you think of the name 'Caitlyn'…with a K or a C…I don't mind."
"Caitlyn. Caitlyn." Caroline rolled the name over, experimenting with the sound of it. "It's perfect. I love it."
"Do you mind if we use my mother's name as a middle name? Caitlyn Ruth?"
"That's lovely."
"Caitlyn Ruth McKenzie-Elliot it is then," Kate said out loud, testing its ring.
Caroline hesitated, a look of doubt on her face.
"What?" Kate asked, detecting the dissatisfaction, "Elliot-McKenzie?"
"Can we leave out the 'Elliot' entirely?…just have it as Caitlyn Ruth McKenzie? Life is going to be tough enough for her without giving her a hyphenated surname, don't you think?" Caroline gave Kate a pleading, uncertain smile. "Do you mind?"
"Not if you don't," Kate answered, "Are you sure?"
"Positive…I think…Besides, 'Elliot' is John's name and if it didn't cost a small fortune to change the stationery with my name on at school…oh, and the sign at the entrance…I'd drop the 'Elliot' myself and go back to 'Dawson'," Caroline explained, "or now that Alan and mum have married…twice…Alan might adopt me and I could be 'Buttershaw'…Dr Caroline Buttershaw…it has a nice ring to it."
"Now you're being ridiculous," Kate laughed.
"Yes, I am," Caroline admitted, laughing with her.