The Wrong Places
“Checking to see if Kevin’s gone?” Holtzmann asked, making Erin jump. She’d leaned down to peer through the pole hole to determine whether it was safe to leave or not. So yes, checking to see if Kevin was gone.
“What? No! Why would you say that?”
“Why don’t you just talk to him? Say what’s on your mind? It sure would be a lot easier than trying to avoid him forever.”
“You know, I really don’t think it would be.” The thought of putting her feelings into words and then actually saying those words out loud to another human being made Erin squirm with discomfort. Avoidance certainly seemed like the way to go in this situation. “Plus, I don’t really know what to say,” she added.
“How about the truth? That you slept with him and it was fun but you’re not looking for anything serious because you’re up to your eyeballs in ghosts, not to mention, a book that needs to be revised and republished as soon as possible,” Holtz said easily. “Unless...unless you ARE looking for something serious?”
“No! I mean...no. Not with Kevin,” she released a breath, blowing her bangs out of her eyes. “I probably should be looking for something serious instead of sleeping with my coworkers. I’m not getting any younger. I really thought I’d be settled down by now. Married. Maybe kids,” she sighed. “But maybe that’s just not in the cards.”
“Oh, please. You say that like you’re old or something. You’re like, what, 35?”
“39.”
“Oh, nevermind then. You old bag of bones! It’s too late for you. I’m so sorry.” Holtz rolled her eyes at Erin and walked over to her lab table, where she started scribbling something in a notebook.
“So that’s it? You’re going to call me old and walk away?”
“What else did you expect? You’re feeling sorry for yourself. Acting like you’re all washed up and that it’s too late to get the things you want in life, when that’s obviously not true. It’s like the ghost thing. You spent how many years researching and working and writing? And then, holy shit, ghosts are real, and you save friggin’ New York City from an apocalypse. Don’t act like that didn’t happen.”
“Well, that was different…” Erin began.
“Bull shit. You achieved a lifelong personal and professional goal while also playing hero for an entire city. Sounds pretty important to me. Just because you haven’t found love yet doesn’t mean you’re worthless. Plus,” Holtzmann began labeling a diagram she'd sketched on her paper, “What kind of a message is that for little girls?”
“Who said anything about little girls?”
“I did. Because they’re watching you, y’know. You’re a role model now. So start acting like one.” Holtz tore the page out of the notebook, shoved it into the center pocket of her overalls, and walked across the room. “Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places.” Erin furrowed her brows, confused.
“For love. Maybe you’re just looking in the wrong places.” And with that, Holtz slid down the pole and moments later, Erin heard the front door open and shut.