Chapter 39
Lexa was running. Running as fast as she could, as fast as her legs could possibly carry her. She had been out having a drink with one of the editors that she knew when her phone just started to go crazy. All she had to see where the words Clarke and accident and she was gone. Knowing that Ark Memorial was only a few blocks away, she hadn't even bothered with her car, she knew that her legs would get her there faster.
Rounding the corner, Lexa hit a patch of ice and her feet flew out from under her, sending her flying into a parked car. “Fuck,” she groaned as she stumbled to her feet and took off again. Just as the hospital came into view an ambulance zoomed passed her, its sirens wailing. Clarke?
Lexa pushed her legs even harder, trying desperately to catch up. As she turned into the parking lot the ambulance came to a stop in the bay and two men jumped out and made their way to the back, she was close - so close. The moment they started to pull the gurney out, Lexa saw a flash of red stained blonde hair and screamed, “Clarke!”
Suddenly something heavy caught her around her midsection. “Lexa! Lexa, stop!”
“Get off me!” Lexa roared and a moment later Lincoln was laying on the flat of his back, gasping for air as she made her way toward the door. He should have known better.
Approaching the door, Lexa found her way blocked. “Ma’am, I'm sorry,” a security guard told her. “I'm going to need to you calm down.”
“Calm down?” Lexa’s eyes went wide with fury. ”They just took my best friend in there.”
“I understand, ma’am,” he told her. “But, please, you need to calm down and let them do what they do.”
“He’s right,” Lincoln said as he appeared next to her, holding his side.
Lexa turned and looked at him, her chest was heaving. “Okay, okay,” she nodded, raising her hands. “Fine.”
Lincoln put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“How are you already here?” She asked him.
“I was on my way to hang out with Octavia,” he answered. “She…um, she was on the phone with her, when it happened. She's pretty upset.”
Lexa’s heart sank even further. “Where is she?”
“Inside,” Lincoln nodded toward the door.
Lexa looked at the guard pleadingly. “Can I go in now?”
The guard nodded. “Just stay calm and let them help your friend,” he told her.
“Of course,” Lexa said as she grabbed Lincoln's arm and they walked through the double doors.
Once inside, the first thing that Lexa saw was a very distraught looking Octavia and without giving it a moments thought, she stepped forward and pulled her into a hug. Octavia gripped the back of her shirt and began to cry harder. “I heard it,” she sobbed.
Lexa closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. God. “Shhh,” she tried to comfort her.
Octavia stepped back a moment later, pushing her dark hair out her face and took a deep breath. “Everyone else is already on their way,” she told her.
“Is Abby here?” Lexa asked instantly.
Octavia nodded and pointed to the door down the hall, Lexa assumed that's where they had taken Clarke.
Good. Abby would take good care of her. Of course she would. How Abby worked under such insane pressure, Lexa would never understand.
“Hey,” Raven’s voice suddenly filled they hallway and turning Lexa found her and Anya heading their way. Octavia bolted forward and crashed into Raven. Lexa watched them, remembering that only a few months back, it was her and Clarke standing in practically the same spot, doing exactly the same thing. Octavia was saying something to Raven that Lexa couldn't hear and Raven just kept shaking her head over and over.
“Do we know anything?” Anya asked as she approached.
Lexa shook her head, quickly brushing the tears from her eyes.
“Are you okay?” Anya questioned, her eyes concerned.
Lexa didn't answer, in fact, she couldn't.
She couldn't, because this couldn't be happening. It couldn't. It just couldn't. Not again and not to Clarke. Lexa's mind was spinning. Clarke would be fine. She had to be.
“I should be with her.” Lexa said as she shook her head.
“You can't be,” Anya told her. “Not now.”
A new rush of tears spilled from Lexa’s eyes. “She needs me,” she croaked.
“You're here,” Anya told her firmly. “That’s all you can do right now.”
Lexa shook her head again. That wasn't enough. It wasn't enough. Her body began to shake as she turned and began to walk down the hallway.
“Lexa,” Lincoln said as he grabbed her wrist, squeezing it hard. “Stop. Getting yourself thrown out isn't going to help anyone,” he tried to make her see.
Lexa glared at him, but she knew that her eyes were pleading. He was right and she knew it. She wanted to just break, but she couldn't, so she simply relented with a nod.
Cupping her hands behind her back, she began to pace furiously. There was an ache in her chest that was mirroring the ache in her head and she was quite certain that her heart was going to give out at any moment. Clarke had to be okay. She just had to be. She couldn't lose her. Not now - and not like this.
It didn't take long for the halfway to become filled with all of the members of their group. Time was ticking by excruciatingly slow and Lexa just wished that someone, anyone would tell them something.
“Lexa,” Jake said as he suddenly appeared in front of her, grabbing her shoulders and squeezing.
Lexa looked up and that's when she really lost it.
“Shhh,” he whispered, rubbing her shoulders. “We’ll know something soon.”
Lexa nodded. How was he so calm?
“She's stubborn,” he answered her unspoken question.
Lexa couldn't help the light grin that appeared on her face, she understood. Yes. Clarke was stubborn, ridiculously stubborn and strong. She'd fight.
“Jake!” a voice rang out.
Lexa looked up to see Jackson at the other end of the hall, motioning to Jake. With one more squeeze to her shoulders Jake let go and jogged down the hallway.
Lexa swallowed hard as a rush of panic flooded through her body. Oh God. Oh, please. Please, please, please. She felt herself slip down into a chair and Bellamy was instantly at her side. “It'll be okay,” he assured her. “Clarke will be fine.”
A new rush of tears threaten her eyes. “What if she's not?” She asked quietly.
Bellamy pushed his dark locks off of his brow and took her hand. “She will be,” he nodded.
Lexa's eyes floated down the hallway. Almost everything that she saw was eerily familiar. How could this be happening again?
Down at the far end of the hall Raven and Octavia seemed to be arguing. Raven seemed to be trying to calm Octavia, but all to no avail. Octavia was practically raging, her head constantly shaking. Lexa's heart broke for her, she couldn't even imagine what she must be feeling, having been on the phone with Clarke when the accident occurred. God. Maybe she felt responsible?
Suddenly Lexa caught a glimpse of a man further down the hall and when his shaggy brown locks came onto focus, she shot to her feet.
Finn?
“It's not him,” Lincoln said quickly, as though he had read her mind.
Lexa continued to stare.
“Finn,” Lincoln clarified, stepping forward. “It's not him. He’s gone.”
“Gone?” Lexa blinked and looked at him.
Lincoln nodded. “He took a transfer,” he explained, “and moved out of state.”
Lexa only nodded, honestly feeling relieved. That last thing she needed to deal with right now was Finn fucking Collins.
“She's going to be okay,” Abby's voice suddenly filled the corridor.
Lexa spun around. Really?
“She's banged up,” Abby nodded. “There was a lot of bleeding, but it's mostly superficial.”
“Can we see her?” Raven asked quickly.
Abby nodded. “She's pretty out of it,” she told them, “and we gave her something for the pain, but yes, I’ll let you see her.”
“Lexa, you go first.” Octavia didn't hesitate. “She’ll want to see you,” she added.
Lexa shook her head. No. Octavia should go.
“It's okay,” Octavia assured her. “We’ll give you two a minute and then we’ll be down.”
Lexa nodded and turned to follow Abby down the hallway.
When they stopped in front of the door, Lexa took a deep breath, suddenly afraid of what was on the other side.
“It's okay,” Abby assured her as she gave her back a light rub.
Lexa stepped inside, her eyes instantly falling on Clarke. She was tucked into the bed with her eyes closed and her face littered with cuts. Lexa felt her heart break at the sight. Jake stood up and stepped away from the bed as she stepped forward. Slipping her hand into Clarke's, Lexa took a deep breath and tried to keep her tears a bay.
Suddenly Clarke's eyes snapped open and she looked around, clearly unfocused. The second her eyes found Lexa's, they instantly filled with tears that quickly spilled out onto her cheeks. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled, shaking her head lightly as her face twisted up in pain. “I didn't mean to…”
“Shh,” Lexa tried to calm her.
“Please,” Clarke’s voice was strained and her eyes were fighting to regain focus. “Please, don't leave me.”
Lexa’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Hey,” she said softly, squeezing her hand. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I love you,” Clarke barely whispered as her eyes slipped shut again.
“I love you too,” Lexa told her as she pushed some hair off of her forehead. “We all do. Just rest now.”
Clarke didn't respond, her breathing was already evening out.
Lexa just watched her, grateful to see her chest rising and falling with each breath.
“Hey,” Octavia said softly, dropping her hand onto Lexa's shoulder.
“Hey,” Lexa nodded, still holding Clarke’s hand. “I think she's asleep.”
Octavia sighed and shook her head.
“Are you okay?” Lexa asked, finally looking at her. She looked completely wrecked.
Octavia shrugged slightly. “We kind of got into it earlier,” she replied. “I think maybe I pushed too hard. She left and then…” her voice trailed off.
Lexa slipped her free hand into Octavia's. “This isn't your fault,” she told her.
Octavia shrugged again and squeezed her hand, but didn't say anything.
Little by little people floated in and out of the room, until finally Abby told them that it was time for them to all go home. No one argued, well, no one but Lexa.
“I'm not leaving,” Lexa told her adamantly as she stood next to Clarke's bed, her hand still locked in Clarke's.
“Of course you're not,” Abby sighed. “But, you should. She's fine.”
Lexa shook her head. “I’m not leaving,” she repeated.
Abby seemed to accept her position and finally nodded before she left the room.
It was well into the early morning hours when Lexa finally gave in and laid her head on the bed next to Clarke's arm. Moments later, it was there that she finally fell asleep, listening to the sound of sweet breathing, with her head resting on her forearm and her hand still firmly secured in Clarke's.
No way was she leaving.