Chapter 32
Clarke came through the door and dropped down into a chair. Though she had texted Lexa after what had happened at Polis, she was still frustrated. Like really, what the hell was that about? Lexa never acted like that - never. She'd smoothed things over with Wells after Lexa left and finished rehearsing, but still she couldn't stop thinking about Lexa and the way her temper had just flared like that. It simply wasn't like her.
“You okay?” Octavia asked from the couch.
“Frustrated.” Clarke mumbled, rubbing her eyes.
“Want to talk about it?” Octavia sat up and leaned against the side of the couch.
Clarke sighed and explained what happened to Octavia, who listened without interruption, like she usually did when Raven wasn't around.
“Maybe she was jealous?” Octavia offered when Clarke finally finished speaking.
Clarke shook her head quickly. “Lexa doesn't do jealousy,” she reminded her. It was true.
“Not usually, no,” Octavia agreed, “but you two did just sleep together a few nights ago.”
“Totally irrelevant,” Clarke shook her head again. “How many times have we slept together over the years?”
“Only you can answer that one.” Octavia shrugged.
Too many times to count.
“You could just ask her?” Octavia suggested. “If that's what it was, I mean.”
“No,” Clarke answered quickly. Absolutely not having that conversation.
“Why not?” Octavia inquired curiously.
Clarke shook her head. “Lexa doesn't do jealousy,” she repeated.
“Sounds like maybe she does,” Octavia crossed her arms.
Either way, Clarke wasn't about to find out. She had just gotten her first taste of Lexa in years and sexually speaking, they were good together, really good and she would be lying if she said that she didn't want more. What they had worked for them and she wasn't going to ruin it by complicating it. Lexa didn't do jealousy. No. This had to be something else. Clarke just couldn't imagine what.
“Why aren't you two together? Like, really together.” Octavia asked her rather forwardly. “You totally should be.”
“What we have works,” Clarke shrugged quickly. "On that level," she added.
A relationship fell into the complicated category and nope, not going there.
“So you keep saying,” Octavia nodded. “I just think you two should consider that you could be more than bed buddies.”
Clarke's face twisted up at this. The fuck? “We are more than bed buddies,” she stated firmly.
“You know what I mean,” Octavia told her pointedly. “I mean, is it because Lexa doesn't do relationships?”
Clarke scoffed quickly. “Obviously that not the case,” she said waving her hand. “Costia.”
“Costia was a train wreck.” Octavia rebuffed, slightly rolling her eyes.
“Uh, you don't have to tell me.” Clarke snapped lightly as she kicked her shoes off.
“So,” Octavia readjusted her seat on the couch, "she doesn't really count."
“She counts,” Clarke disagreed and crossed her arms.
Costia counted. She absolutely counted. She had been the first person the Lexa had ever really tried to have an actual, functioning relationship with and look what happened.
The following day, Lexa didn't turn up. She sent Clarke a text and told her that it was because of work, but Clarke wasn't so sure.
Two days after that, Lexa still hadn't come around and Clarke was starting to get a bit pissed. She had told Lexa that she didn't want her to disappear. She'd told her it was fine. Where the hell was she?
After four days Clarke was just plain upset. Lexa had promised she'd see her and still, she hadn't been around. Her texts had been vague and all blamed work for her absence but at this point, Clarke honestly wasn't sure she believed her. Something seemed up. She felt like Lexa was avoiding her and she didn't understand it.
“Why don't you just drive over there?” Octavia told her as she walked back into the kitchen.
Clarke popped up. Shit. Why hadn't she thought of that?
Without waiting another moment Clarke grabbed her keys and made her way to the door.
On the drive over, Clarke was in a haze. She didn't know what she was going to say or do, but she just needed to see her. She needed to find out what, if anything, was really going on and why it seemed like Lexa was suddenly avoiding her.
Finally reaching her destination, Clarke knocked on the door and held her breath.
“Clarke?” Anya said, looking at her curiously. “What's up?”
“Is Lexa here?” Clarke inquired, already basically knowing the answer.
“No.” Anya shook her head. “But, I heard from her a little while ago and she should be back soon. Want to come in and wait?”
“Definitely,” Clarke nodded and stepped inside.
”Want something to drink?” Anya asked as she closed the door.
“Water would be great,” Clarke answered and they made their way to the kitchen.
Anya got her a glass of water and set it on the table. “Everything alright?” She asked. “You seem, tense.”
“I don't know.” Clarke shrugged. “I just feel like Lexa's been avoiding me. Has she seemed okay to you?”
“I haven't seen her.” Anya shrugged. “She's been out on some assignment or something for days now.”
“Oh,” Clarke's voice came out a bit small. Okay, so maybe Lexa wasn't avoiding her.
Suddenly Clarke heard the front door and she spun around, waiting. Lexa came around the corner and the sight of her instantly sent something coursing through Clarke's body.
“Clarke?” Lexa's eyes went wide with obvious surprise as she came around the corner.
“You promised.” Clarke said quickly, her brow furrowing slightly. Her mouth had suddenly gone very dry.
Anya glanced between the two of them. “Okay, I think I’m going to take off for a while,” she said before leaving the room. A minute later they heard the front door open and close again.
“You promised,” Clarke repeated, a little harsher this time.
“I know.” Lexa said as she walked passed her and poured herself some water.
“Why are you avoiding me?” Clarke couldn't help herself.
“I’m not,” Lexa replied and took a sip of her water, but her eyes didn't meet Clarke's.
Bullshit.
“Did I do something?” Clarke pushed again.
“Of course not,” Lexa insisted quickly.
“You said I would see you," Clarke reminded her. "You knew that I didn't want you to disappear and then you did.”
“I had to,” Lexa answered as she slipped out of her coat and pushed her hair back off of her shoulders.
Oh, god. Focus. Clarke drew a steadying breath and took a sip of her water, she suddenly felt very hot.
“Are you okay?” Clarke questioned as she set down her glass and stepped forward.
“I’m fine,” Lexa assured her. “Honestly, I was working.”
Clarke slipped her hands around Lexa's waist and hugged her. Her body was tense and hot. “Are you sure?”
“Of course,” Lexa nodded as she returned the hug.
“What happened at Polis?” Clarke questioned without stepping away.
“I don't know,” Lexa swallowed hard, her body tensing even further. “I was fine and then…”
“Then what?” Clarke asked.
“Fucking Wells.” Lexa muttered, shaking her head slightly. “It's one thing to appreciate, it's a whole other thing to drool. I just, I don't know. The way he was looking at you, it just made me angry. It was wrong.”
Clarke gave Lexa's waist a squeeze, but didn't say anything. Was Octavia right? Was Lexa jealous?
“I mean, I was fine,” Lexa continued. “I was sitting at the bar, listening to you sing and talking with Echo and then," she shook her head, "fucking Wells.”
Now Clarke felt her own body tense slightly. Yes. She had noticed Lexa talking with Echo and hadn’t missed that slight wink that Echo had sent her way either. She didn't like it. She knew that if Lexa wanted to go after Echo there was nothing that she could do about it, but God, did she want to. Shit. Maybe she was the jealous one?
An all too familiar sensation suddenly began to spread through Clarke's body and quickly it became too much. Without giving it any thought she pushed her body into Lexa's and placed a lingering, open mouthed kiss on her neck. Lexa sighed and Clarke felt her body relax into hers. She breathed in deep, taking in the scent of Lexa. God, she needed her. She needed her right now. “Lexa…” she whispered as her hands fisted the back of Lexa's shirt. It came out desperate, but she honestly didn't care, because that was exactly how she felt. Desperate.
Lexa’s hand moved up her back until it found it’s place on the back of her neck, she pushed firmly with her thumb and Clarke let her head tip back. Not a second later Lexa's lips we're trailing down her neck. Clarke sighed at the feeling as everything in her body began to tingle. Lexa’s grip on her hip became firmer as she pulled her even closer. “Clarke…” she whispered before bringing their lips together.
It was hot, furious and just as desperate as Clarke felt. An ache shot through Clarke's body as she gasped for air. “I need you,” she practically whined as she tried to get even closer. “Please…”
Lexa shuddered at the words and brought her eyes to meet Clarke's.
“Fuck…” the word fell from Clarke's lips as she noticed that Lexa's pupils were blown wide open. “Lexa…”
Clarke didn't get to finish her sentence as Lexa's mouth was already back on hers, her teeth tugging firmly at Clarke's lower lip, practically demanding an entrance. She felt Lexa's fingers pull at her jacket and paid no attention to wherever it fell as she ripped her arms out of it and then wrapped them tightly around Lexa's neck, deepening their kiss even further. She rolled her body against Lexa's and God, it felt so good, but they had to move - they had to move right now. This, couldn't happen here.
Clarke took a step back, pulling Lexa with her. She wasn't about to break her hold and Lexa followed her blindly, out of the kitchen, down the hall and into the bedroom. As Lexa kicked the door closed behind them, Clarke pushed her up against it. “I want you,” she gasped between kisses as her nails trailed down Lexa's abdomen.
Lexa flipped them around, now pushing her against the door. “You have me,” she breathed into her neck, causing Clarke to squirm against her, fighting for friction.
She knew that Lexa was speaking in the moment, that she was speaking of the moment and that was okay. They were both clearly frustrated, both clearly feeling desperate and both clearly craving. They wanted this, they need this and it was okay.