Chapter 33
Lexa sat working at her laptop. She had been slammed with work over the last few of weeks and though she didn't understand it, she gladly accepted it. While her professional life had been pretty much chaos, her personal life had been relatively calm. Things seemed to slip back to normal between her and Clarke after they had so desperately fallen into her bed weeks ago and while Lexa couldn't exactly explain how it had happened, she certainly had no objections. The moment Clarke's mouth had touched her neck, all she wanted was to feel her, everywhere, in every way and that's exactly what she did.
Lexa paused for a moment, arching her back to stretch out her muscles. Her thoughts went to Anya and a question that had gone unanswered from several weeks ago.
-Haven't you ever wanted more?-
She had given in and attempted a relationship with Costia and that turned out to be an absolute nightmare, but Costia wasn't Clarke. No. Not even close.
Lexa sighed as she returned to her work. She had meant what she'd said to Anya, about believing that she could be better. It was how she'd always felt. It was why she worked so hard. So, when it came to the topic of her wanting more with Clarke or not, there was really only one thing that really came to mind first.
She had to be better. She just had to be.
She had to be better, because until she was, what did she really have to offer? It wasn't really about whether or not she wanted it, it never had been. What they had worked for them, but if she was ever going to consider having anything more, she had to make something of herself first. She had to. She had to have something to offer her. Something better than what she was. Being a part time physical trainer and freelance journalist wasn't enough. She had to do better - to be, better. It was the one goal that she’d always had, to just be better.
Besides, there was nothing that said that Clarke even wanted more. She had never said so, or even implied as much. No. Clarke seemed completely content with the way that things were. What they had worked for them, it always had.
“We need to book our flight.” Anya said as she came into the room.
“I'm not going,” Lexa replied instantly. “I’m swamped.”
“Lexa,” Anya sighed, “it’s Christmas.”
“Tell him that I'm sorry,” Lexa said without taking her eyes off of the screen. “He knows how focused I am. He’ll understand.”
“You're going,” Anya told her.
“I’m not,” Lexa shook her head. Nope - too busy.
“Lex…”
Lexa slammed her laptop shut, but froze when her ears filled with a shattering sound. “No,” she breathed as she opened it back up, her eyes falling on the broken screen. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Lexa: Where are you???
Raven: Clarke and O’s. Why?
Lexa: I need your help. Like, right fucking now.
Lexa: IMG_203
Raven: Ah shit, Commander. I can fix that.
Raven: Come pick me up.
Lexa jumped to her feet, scooping up her laptop and made her way to the door.
“Where are you going?” Anya asked quickly.
“To pick Raven up so she can fix my fucking laptop and I can get back to work,” Lexa said harshly and then paused at took a steadying breath. “Look, I’m sorry, but I'm not going. This is too important,” she told her before walking out the door.
Anya sunk back into the couch and sighed.
Anya: Tread lightly.
Raven: She alright?
Anya: I don't know. She's definitely stressed out.
Raven: Alright. I’ll try to behave.
Anya: Raven…
Raven: I've got this. ;)
Forty minutes later Lexa pulled up in front of Clarke's and fired off another text to Raven. As she waited for her to emerge, she stared out the window at the abnormally blue sky. Ten minutes passed before Raven finally appeared. Lexa didn't say anything, she knew Raven still wasn't as fast as she used to be.
“Temper tantrum?” Raven asked as she slid into the passenger seat.
“Something like that.” Lexa mumbled grumpily.
“Well, that'll teach you.” Raven nodded. “Don't worry. All I need is about eighty bucks and an hour. I'll have you back up and running. No problem.”
“Thank you for this.” Lexa told her as she pulled out onto the road.
“Any time.” Raven assured her.
When they got to the store Raven took Lexa's money and wandered off. “I work better alone,” she told her.
Clarke: Hi.
Lexa: Hi.
Clarke: Everything okay?
Lexa: I broke my damn laptop.
Clarke: That's what Raven said. What happened?
Lexa: Just closed it too hard.
Lexa: I really don't have time for this.
Clarke: Sorry.
Clarke: I'll text you later.
Lexa: I meant the laptop.
Clarke: Oh.
Clarke: :)
Lexa: Dork.
Clarke: Hey!
Lexa: ;)
Lexa: Raven’s back. I'll text you later.
Clarke: Okay. Good luck!
“Got a deal,” Raven told her as she closed the door. “Saved you twenty five bucks.”
“Awesome,” Lexa responded, but really, she didn't care about the money. “Where to?”
“My place, of course.” Raven said as she waved her hand.
An hour later Raven was hard at work in her living room, while Lexa paced the floor furiously.
“You alright over there?” Raven asked without looking up.
“I’m fine,” Lexa replied stiffly.
“You sure?” Raven looked up. “You've seemed tense for weeks.”
“I have a lot on my mind.” Lexa said as she crossed her arms and continued to pace.
“Clarke?” Raven questioned plainly.
Lexa stopped and looked at her. What? “No,” she answered. "Work."
“Uh huh,” Raven nodded and returned to her work.
Lexa glared at her and then had a thought. “Why? Did Clarke say something?”
“Clarke always says something,” Raven chuckled, “but no, it was actually Anya.”
“Anya?” Lexa shook her head. “What’d she say?”
“Just that you're stressed out.” Raven answered and held up her hand. “Don't even try to say that you're not. I've been with you for like two hours and your stress level is stressing me out.”
Lexa sighed. Fuck.
“So, what is it?” Raven asked. There was no hint of taunting in her voice. “Something going on?”
Lexa’s brow furrowed. “It's just some of the articles I’ve been working on,” she motioned to the laptop. “They're important. Like, they could be important for me.”
Raven got to her feet and walked toward her. “Then you need to calm your ass down,” she told her. “There’s a reason why so many people contract you. You're a damn good writer. Everyone knows it.”
Lexa nodded. It was true. She was a good writer. She knew that she was. She had spent years perfecting it. “Thank you,” she said softly.
“Thank me when I get this piece of shit of yours back up and running.” Raven winked.
“Hater,” Lexa chuckled.
“Lex, this thing is old as hell,” Raven said as she returned to her spot on the couch. “You're actually kind of lucky that I was able to find what I needed to fix it.”
Lexa knew that her laptop was old, but she didn't care, she liked it.
Thirty minutes later Raven announced that she was done and Lexa held her breath as she watched her press the power button. As the computer came to life Lexa felt relief wash over her. “Thank you!” She squealed as she pulled Raven into a tight hug.
“Ugh, gross.” Raven joked. “Commander germs.”
“Shut up,” Lexa said as she nudged her shoulder.
Raven only laughed. “Why don't you come back to Clarke’s with me?” She suggested. “Take the night off. Start fresh tomorrow.”
Lexa thought for a moment. “Eh, I don't want to intrude,” she responded. Plus, still so much to do.
“That's a good one,” Raven laughed again and clapped her on the shoulder. “I'll take it as a yes.”
“Rae,” Lexa began.
“We can finish off that horror trilogy.” Raven tempted her.
Lexa couldn't stop the grin that crossed her face. Well.. “Clarke's going to kill you,” she warned her.
“Nah,” Raven waved her hand. “I have you to protect me.”
A little while later they walked through the door of Clarke and Octavia's and found the two lounging in the living room.
“What are you doing here?” Clarke asked as she jumped up.
“Hello to you too,” Lexa said as she crossed the room and greeted her in her normal fashion. “Raven convinced me to take the night off,” she explained.
“Nice,” Octavia nodded as she gave Raven a high five.
“What can I say?” Raven shrugged smugly. “It's a talent.”
“So, what are we doing?” Clarke asked curiously.
“Food, definitely and,” Lexa paused and tried to fight off a smirk, “uh, a movie.”
Clarke clearly didn't miss the pause. “What movie?” She asked, her eyes narrowing.
Lexa only grinned.
“No!” Clarke instantly objected. “Come on! It's Christmas time, not Halloween!”
“Her idea,” Lexa said quickly and pointed to Raven.
“Traitor,” Raven glared playfully as Octavia gave her another high five.
“We’ll be nice, Clarke,” Octavia told her with a smile. “You can even pick dinner,” she added.
Clarke thought for a moment, but didn't respond. A funny little look appeared on her face.
“Same as last time?” Lexa asked knowingly.
Clarke grinned.
“Chinese and pizza, it is,” Lexa chuckled and pulled out her phone.
Halfway through the night, every phone in the room started to go off.
***New Event Created***
MontyG: Hey everyone, I know it's a little early, but being that we won't be seeing each other for Christmas, I want to make sure that everything is in order for New Years. So, everyone's in, right?????
Reyes: Hell yes!
BabyBlake: Of course!
Linc: I will definitely be there.
JasperJ: Totally in!
A: I suppose.
Reyes: Always such enthusiasm.
A: I do what I can.
BigBlake: I will be there.
BabyBlake: Yes!
Princess: In.
Reyes: Who’s cooking?
BabyBlake: Me.
BigBlake: Me.
Reyes: Jasper, booze?
JasperJ: Totally got this. I assume there's no need to ask the RoP?
MontyG: Of course not. :)
Commander: Just kill me now.
A: Oh, look who decided to join the conversation.
BabyBlake: She's sucked into a movie.
Reyes: And Clarke's kind of wrapped around her, so I'm thinking that it's kind of hard for her to text right now.
Princess: I am not.
BabyBlake: She absolutely is.
Reyes: IMG_132
Linc: How can that possibly be comfortable?
BigBlake: Clarke, you're going to suffocate the poor girl.
Princess: Don't even care. I'm not moving.
A: Hahaha.
Commander: She’s fine.
Commander: I'm in, by the way.
Princess: As if you had another choice?
Reyes: Right?
MontyG: See you all on New Years Eve!!!