Chapter 8
Two weeks had passed since their night at Casa de Rae, which now made it a month and a half since all of this had started and things had only gotten worse. Their weekend at Raven’s had been awkward, but for the most part fairly pleasant, until Jasper and Clarke got into a screaming match in the kitchen that ended with Jasper teling her that she needed to stop being a self absorbed bitch, swallow her pride and apologize to Lexa. Octavia, being the little shit she is, actually chimed in and agreed.
Clarke was spiraling.
Why couldn't anyone understand that she had tried to make things right? That she had called Lexa dozens of times, texted her and even had tried to catch her at work a handful of times. Lexa obviously didn't want to talk her. Octavia was present for the video call, did she not hear the disdain in Lexa’s voice?
Lexa lived a half an hour away and Clarke didn't have a car anymore. Sure, if she really needed to get somewhere that she couldn't walk to, she could get a ride from someone, but how do you ask someone drive you around until you find your best friend because you need to talk to her and she won't pick up the damn phone? All of them had busy lives, that was why they had kept up with their one weekend a month together to begin with. She couldn't ask any of them. She wouldn't. And why should she? She had already tried to bridge the gap, Lexa clearly wasn't interested.
Jasper was right about one thing though, her pride was becoming somewhat of an issue. It was like a constant game of tug of war between her heart and her head. She missed Lexa, she missed her so much, that it was like she couldn't breathe, but she’d tried. She'd tried, damn it and Lexa just wouldn't hear it. What was she supposed to do? Crawl into Trikru and beg on her hands and knees between the the squat station and the leg machine? No. Hell no. Not happening.
“Ugh,” Clarke groaned in frustration as she chucked her sketch pad across the room.
“You okay over there?” Octavia asked from the couch.
“I'm fine,” Clarke sighed as she rubbed her temples. Her head was throbbing something fierce.
“You’re not though,” Octavia told her simply. “Not really.”
Clarke looked up at her. “You really agree with Jasper?”
“You know I do,” Octavia nodded. “Hell, I’m pretty sure that we all do.”
“What am I supposed to do?” Clarke scoffed in frustration. “I tried.”
“Try harder,” Octavia answered.
Clarke shook her head.
“Look, I don't know what's really been said between the two of you, but it’s been over a month and it's getting ridiculous.” Octavia sounded annoyed as she got up and went to the fridge. “Obviously whatever you were trying to do isn’t working because not too much has changed between you and Finn and now everything is shit between you and Lexa. So, try harder You say it’s all fucked up, well, fucking fix it already.”
Octavia knew that Lexa had only heard Clarke’s messages a few weeks ago, but she wasn't about to tell Clarke that. She was actually slightly surprised that Lexa didn't reach out. She really thought that hearing those messages might do it. Though now, she found herself itching to know what the messages said. Was there something in them that actually made it worse?
“You've seen her,” Clarke finally said quietly. “How is she?”.
“Nope,” Octavia shook her head as she dropped back down on to the couch with a pint of ice cream in her hand. “Not discussing Lexa with you. Not like that," she said pointing her spoon at her. "You want to know how Lexa is, you go find out.”
Clarke pouted and crossed her arms.
That night Clarke had plans with Finn. The two of them were having dinner together at Polis, one of her favorite restaurants. As they stood waiting to be seated Clarke glanced around and her breath caught in her chest. Lexa was there. She was standing at the bar talking to a man that Clarke could only see from behind. She looked a little different, but no less incredible. God, had she missed her face.
Suddenly a woman appeared at Lexa’s side. She was tall and tan, her curly dark hair stopped right at her shoulders. She was beautiful, too beautiful. A lump developed in Clarke's throat as the woman looped her arm with Lexa's and kissed her on the cheek. Costia? Lexa gestured between the two, clearly making introductions and the man turned more.
What the fuck?
It was Kane. Clarke’s boss. What the hell was Lexa doing with her boss? And why the fuck was she introducing him to Costia?
Before Clarke even knew what was happening her feet were carrying her forward.
“Clarke,” Kane said pleasantly when he saw her approaching.
“Hi. Sorry,” Clarke said quickly. “I just need to borrow Lexa for a moment,” she told them as she took ahold of Lexa's wrist.
“Now’s not really a good time, Clarke.” Lexa shook her head and motioned between Kane and Costia.
“Just for a moment.” Clarke insisted as she pulled Lexa out of Costia’s grip and off around the corner, out of earshot.
“What the fuck, Lexa?” She said quickly as she let go of Lexa's wrist. Okay. That came out way harsher than she'd intended.
“What?” Lexa asked with a defensive shrug.
“What the hell are you doing with my boss? And is that Costia? Why are you introducing her to Kane?” Clarke rambled, her voice was softer, but her tone, still hard. “Wait. Shit. Tell me that you are not trying to get her into the same gallery as me?” Clarke's mind was on auto drive. First her time slot and now this? No. No way. That cannot happen. It just can't. "This cannot be happening."
Lexa just stared at her and then finally shook her head. “I don't have time for this, Clarke,” she said as she started to walk away.
Clarke grabbed her arm to stop her, but immediately let go when Lexa turned to face her. Her eyes were furious and her jaw clenched. She took a step forward, making Clarke take a step back. “You have a lot of nerve,” she said it a quiet, but steely tone, then turned and walked away.
Clarke just watched her go. What the fuck?
After dinner Clarke and Finn went back to her place, where she furiously began pacing around and cleaning.
“Is everything all right?” Finn finally questioned her. “You've kind of been off all night.”
“Yeah, well, you'd be off too, if your best friend was trying to screw you,” she snapped as she wiped down the counter.
Finn's eyes went wide. “She did what?”
Clarke looked up. Seriously? “Jesus Christ, Finn,” she snapped. “Not like that! God!”
“Oh,” he said quietly.
“Oh?” Clarke’s eyes burned. “Oh? You know what, I’m done. Whatever the fuck it is,” she motioned her hands furiously at Finn, “you need to get the fuck over it already. I can't fucking do this. I tried to be understanding and spend more time with you and less time with Lexa and in the process fucked up everything between us and still you’re all – you!”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Finn snapped back and took a step forward.
“I say that Lexa is trying to screw me and your mind immediately jumps to sex,” she yelled. “Are you kidding me? She doesn't even want to speak with me, you really think she wants to sleep with me?”
Finn brushed his brown hair out of his eyes. “Not like you need to speak to have sex,” he shrugged.
Clarke stared at him. Unbelievable. “Just get out,” her voice was stony.
Finn watched her for another moment, then simply shook his head and walked out.
An hour later Octavia found her crying on the couch.
Two days later, Clarke found herself having a quiet breakfast with Octavia when suddenly the words she was dreading came falling out of Octavia's mouth.
“Announcement time,” Octavia told her. “You're up.”
“Ugh,” Clarke closed her eyes and groaned lightly. “O, please, will you do it?”
“Hell no,” Octavia shook her head. “I did it last time. You’re up.”
“But,” Clarke opened her eyes.
“No,” Octavia quickly cut her off. “You started this shit. Now you have to deal with.”
Clarke sighed as she stood up and walked off to her bedroom, pulling out her phone along the way.
“And don't you dare leave out Anya and Lexa.” Octavia warned her.
*********New Event Created**********
Princess: Okay people, you know the drill so, who's in?
Reyes: I am!
Princess: Of course you are.
JasperJ: I'm not.
Princess: Whatever.
BabyBlake: Clarke…
Linc: Sorry! I have game tickets.
Reyes: Man!
Collins: I’ll be there.
A: Pass.
Clarke rolled her eyes. Yep, no surprise there.
MontyG: I’m in. What do you need?
Commander: Not attending.
Clarke frowned. Fuck. She wasn’t surprised, but still, she hated seeing it.
Reyes: Fuckin crap…
BabyBlake: I’m cooking, Monty. Can you handle beer?
MontyG: No problem.
BigBlake: I think I might be able to make it work.
Princess: Yes!
BabyBlake: Yay! :) :)
MontyG: Clarke? RoP?
Clarke thought for a moment. Hm.
Princess: Whiskey.
MontyG: Okay…
Commander: Monty, do not get whiskey.
Clarke's eyebrows instantly popped up. The fuck? Seriously? This woman…
Princess: Yes Monty, do. It's my turn, my choice.
Commander: Clarke.
Collins: Back off, Lexa.
Commander: Seriously Finn? You really want her drinking whiskey? Are you stupid?
BabyBlake: Guys, stop.
Collins: She can drink whatever she wants.
A: Your funeral, Collins.
“Are you sure, Clarke?” Octavia asked her cautiously as she poked her head into Clarke's room.
Clarke only nodded.
Everyone knew that bad things always seemed to happen whenever Clarke drank whiskey - even Clarke knew it, but right now, she simply didn't care. Hell, maybe a whiskey night was exactly what she needed.
Princess: Whiskey, please and thank you.
JasperJ: Shit. Maybe, I will show.
BigBlake: Don't be an ass, Jasper.
JasperJ: Sorry, sorry.
Reyes: Clarke, you might want to listen to Lexa on this one.
Princess: Or I might, not?
Reyes: Fine.
BabyBlake: Clarke's right. Her turn, her choice.
BabyBlake: Though now, I'm suddenly wishing I'd just done the announcement.
Princess: See you all in a week. xoxoxo
Exactly one week later Clarke rolled over with a splitting headache and a mouth as dry as the Sahara. Rolling over with a groan, she found that it was not Finn that she was lying in bed with, but Bellamy instead. Horrified, she instantly recoiled and looked down. They were both fully clothed. Thank God. What the hell was going on? Where was Finn?
Stumbling out of the room, she gripped the wall for balance and found Raven and Monty quietly cleaning up the living room.
“Where's Finn?” she croaked.
Raven grinned sympathetically and sighed knowingly. “Not remembering much, huh?”
Clarke shook her head as Monty walked over and handed her a bottle of water. She instantly uncapped the bottle and took a large mouthful. Ah, sweet relief.
“You threw him out,” he told her, “Finn.”
Clarke choked on her water. “I did what?”
Raven nodded. “He was being a total dick - running his mouth and stuff. You know, being Finn.”
“Even Jasper came to your defense at one point.” Monty told her as he nodded to the corner of the room where Jasper was asleep.
“What was he saying?” Clarke asked. Fuck, she wished she could remember.
“I don't even really remember,” Raven admitted, “but, I know that as soon as he started trash talking Lexa, it was like the damn house exploded.”
“He what?” Clarke set down the bottle as her eyes narrowed.
Raven held up her hands. “Don't even ask. I have no idea what he said to you," she responded quickly. "I just know that you went fucking crazy.”
“You were pretty upset.” Monty agreed with a nod.
Clarke stared at them, feeling a strange kind of heat forming in her chest. Wait. “Is that how I ended up with Bell?”
Raven nodded. “He took care of you.”
Clarke stood silent, trying to let the information sink in a bit. Well, shit. She hated it when Lexa was right. Lexa...
“Fuck. Where's my phone??” Clarke shot out and began to look around frantically.
“Dont worry,” Octavia said as she came up behind her. “I took it off you early in the night.”
Thank god. Clarke took her phone and opened the news event that she'd left open from the previous week.
Princess: Damn you.
Commander: …
A: Hahahaha!
She terminated the session.
“Raven, can I borrow your car?” Clarke questioned as she set her phone down on the counter.
“For what?” Raven asked, her brow instantly furrowing.
Clarke gave a short, stiff nod. “I need to see a man,” she replied and went to take a shower.