dirty dick (ovary panic)
You have entered the chat: the avengers™
patrioticsass: good morning everyone !! how are u all doing
winteriscoming: i accidentally brushed my teeth with hemorrhoid cream instead of toothpaste
patrioticsass: anyway !
richbich: wait which one of you has ever had hemorrhoids??
richbich has sent a video: actuallymegan
winteriscoming: u know what happens when we fuck too hard ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
richbich: wtf
patrioticsass: ANYWAY !!!!!!!
patrioticsass: tony is there any way u could tell me how u r doing this morning without asking invasive questions abt hemorrhoids
richbich: sure
richbich: i have cum in my mustache and idk how to get it off lol
patrioticsass: HOT WATER NEXT
russianhoe: well i just found out i have a cyst on my ovary so i have that going for me i guess
winteriscoming: bitch what the fuck!!!!!!!!!!!
winteriscoming: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
patrioticsass: omg natasha r u okay !!!????!!?!?!? do u need anything at all ?!!!!!!!?!!!!!!
richbich: damn and i thought i was the only one who's ever had a cyst on their reproductive organs
russianhoe: thx tony for your heartwarming concern im truly touched
russianhoe: and im fine, the guy just said to pop birth control pills and it should start to go away
patrioticsass: and what if it doesn't go away !! will you have to have ur fucking ovaries removed !!!!??
patrioticsass: but ur supposed to be the surrogate mother to our child !!!!!!!
russianhoe: NO I WILL NOT NEED TO HAVE MY OVARIES REMOVED THE FUCK
russianhoe: i'll just have to have surgery
winteriscoming: how the fuck do u end up with a cyst on ur ovary????
richbich: well i know how u end up with a cyst on ur dick if any of u want to know
patrioticsass: noah fence tony but i dont think anyone wants to hear more about ur dirty dick okay
richbich: first of all,,,,,,binch
winteriscoming: NATALIA ELABORATE
russianhoe: okay so basically in an average menstrual period a matured egg is released from a sac called the follicle
russianhoe: and so like my follicle didn't release an egg when it was ready??? so yeah the egg just continued to mature and now i have a fucking cyst on my ovaries what the fuck
patrioticsass: omg nat don't worry we're here for u
patrioticsass: is there anything at all we can do bby?
winteriscoming: actually it would be super great if u could find an anus fairy to cure my chronic shits thx
patrioticsass: bUCKY
winteriscoming: wait so we aren't elaborating on weird shit our organs do???
richbich: no dipshit we're talking about nat's ovarian cyst
russianhoe: yeah abt that can any of you go to my apartment and get my weed??
winteriscoming: wait ur not there already ?
russianhoe: no i'm currently in an alleyway crying in a bra. and old lady gave me a churro out of sympathy
richbich: damn :( send me ur location i'll be there in a sec
russianhoe: thx!!!!!
richbich: but wait
richbich has sent a photo: NOTEVERYTHINGISABTWEEDUPIECEOFSHITSTONER.jpg
russianhoe: damn
richbich: okay i'm on my way!!!!!
___________________________
You have received a message from: russianhoe
russianhoe: psst..........steve.............psst
patrioticsass: yes natasha?? u need anything ??
russianhoe: no i just need to tell u something real quick
russianhoe: are u sitting down
patrioticsass: actually im lying in bed seeing as its currently 3 in the fucking morning
russianhoe: omg sorry
russianhoe: im really high lol
patrioticsass: its okay nat :)
patrioticsass: are u home? are u safe in bed?
russianhoe: im home but im watching buffy
patrioticsass:...good enough
patrioticsass: what did u want to tell me ?
russianhoe: oh yeah so
russianhoe: u know how i got an ovarian cyst??????
patrioticsass: yes of course
russianhoe: well i went to the hospital again bc something didn't feel right??? and the doctor asked me if there was any chance i was pregnant and i was like yeah and i told him all abt u and bucky and how i am a major lesbian but i was willing to go being artificially inseminated with ur sperm bc i love u guys so much and u deserve to be parents!!!!!!
russianhoe: fuck im crying again
russianhoe: anyway
russianhoe: he took my pee and tested it and did some other stuff that i can't remember but guess what!!!!!
russianhoe: im pregnant!!!!!!!!
patrioticsass: OMFG UR SERIOUS???????? ARE U SURE ??????
russianhoe: yes!!!! im holding the test results right now!!!!!!!
patrioticsass: shit shit shit omfg what the fuck
patrioticsass: iM GONNA BE A DAD
patrioticsass: BUCKY AND I ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
russianhoe: AND IM GONNA BE A COOL GAY AUNTIE!!!!!!!!!!
patriotcisass: FUCK IM CRYING
patrioticsass: NAT I CANT SEE ANYTHING ITS SO DARK IN HERE BUCKY JUST WOKE UP AND HES SO CONCERNED
____________________________
You have received a message from: winteriscoming
winteriscoming: any idea why my husband is scream crying at 3 in the morning ?
russianhoe: yes....
russianhoe: im an oven
winteriscoming: explain????
russianhoe: got a bun inside me
winteriscoming:...
winteriscoming: are you fucking serious.
russianhoe: yeah :)
russianhoe: james?????????
russinahoe: james
russianhoe: james
russianhoe: james
russianhoe: james
russianhoe ....????????
russianhoe: bucky barnes?????
russianhoe: hello????????
russianhoe: oh my god he fucking dead
________________________
You have received a message from: richbich
richbich: any idea why steve just called be asking for a replacement for bucky's phone because "he scream threw it into the wall in shock and it shattered into a million pieces"???????