the sad one
You have entered the chat: "steve rogers is a punk bitch"
russianhoe: y'all,,,,
watchikeahawk: what the fuck did steve do
russianhoe: first of all
russianhoe: nothing i said implied that steve did anything
winteriscoming: what the fuck did he do
russianhoe: fck okay
russianhoe: we were gonna take a lil roadtrip into d.c to see the new museum of african american culture but we were gonna stop in manhattan first to get breakfast
russianhoe: so we were waiting for the subway to come all of a sudden a stray cat comes out of no where and falls onto the fucking tracks
russianhoe: and he starts screaming "hey cat !! look out !" as if it could understand him
russianhoe: and then he jumps off the platform, grabs the cat, and climbs back up seconds before the subway came
richbich: wow wtf is he suicidal or something ?
imangry: bucky...
winteriscoming: where are you guys now
russianhoe: we're at the vet, apparently the cat's leg is broken
winteriscoming: im going over there
russianhoe: omg don't ??
russianhoe: normally i wouldn't stop you but there is a little girl in the waiting room who just learned that her dog died of cancer and i don't think she needs a 220 lb manifestation of rage to confront his spouse right in front of her rn
russianhoe: also there's this hot chick named sharon here and she might actually kill you if you go near him
winteriscoming: i am going over there right NOW
richbich: great now the little girl will have to face the Manifestation of Rage and Jealousy That Is James Buchanan Barnes™️
imangry: bucky you don't have to go!
imangry: nvm i heard his Rage Stomp™️ from upstairs
watchlikeahawk: oh yeah thanks natasha for bringing up one of his main sources of insecurity
russianhoe: i didn't mean to
richbich: why is bucky so insecure about sharon anyway? i mean they are married
russianhoe: it probably has something to do with the fact that steve would willingly fuck anything with the name "carter" attached to it. also james has Certain Confidential Mental Issues that only steve and i know abt
russianhoe: omfg god u guys i told steve that bucky was coming and that he was very pissed off and he looked back at me, the fear of god in his eyes, and said "natasha i swear to you, if you can get us out of here without bucky tracking us in any way i will buy you that anastasia moon child glow kit."
watchlikeahawk: bitch,,,
russianhoe: ik!!!
russianhoe: thankfully i have like 40 mins to plan Our Great Escape
russianhoe: nvm he will NOt leave the cat's side he is so fucking annoying
richbich: tell him about the 2 story apple bakery we went to last week nat
russianhoe: oh yeah !!
russianhoe: we are on our way
imangry: wait, how are you going to keep bucky from tracking you ??
russianhoe: i've known james since i was a kid, i know his methods
russianhoe: also he hates apples
russianhoe: steve is now eating an apple cupcake with a very content smile on his face he is so cute
watchlikeahawk: make sure he gets you that fucking palette
russianhoe: oh he will
winteriscoming: you guys know im in this chat right
russianhoe: fuck i can't believe we forgot that he was in this chat
winteriscoming: changing my route
winteriscoming: eta: 1 min
russianhoe: FUCKN I AM RUNNING
richbich: how tf does he go places so quickly ??
watchlikeahawk: nat where are you taking him??
watchlikeahawk: ok she hasn't answered in like 10 mins im kinda scared
russianhoe: guess who just got anastasia beverley hills' moon child glow kit !
watchlikeahawk: um where are u ??
russianhoe: oh james found us im at his apartment in brooklyn
richbich: nat are u okay?? you sound sound surprisingly nonchalant for someone who's about to be murdered
russianhoe: oh lol don't worry james locked me in his bathroom
russianhoe: i'm just chilling and trying to ignore the miscellaneous white stain on their sink counter
watchlikeahawk: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
imangry: ok but are they fighting or anything?? im worried
russianhoe: i have no fucking clue they soundproofed all the rooms in the place ever since The Great Honeymoon Incident of 2011™️
richbich: what is The Great Honeymoon Incident of 2011™️??
russianhoe: after steve and buck's wedding clint and i wanted to congratulate them so we went to their apartment and when we walked in i heard tHE LOUDEST MOANS AND BEDSPRING NOISES EVER LIKE EVERY SEX NOISE IMAGINABLE WAS HEARD THAT NIGHT
russianhoe: and being the shameless bitch that i am i walked into their bedroom and i found them fucking x103923288657677643245679865
russianhoe: so yeah i guess you could say we are both equally traumatized
richbich: fuck i regret asking
watchlikeahawk: yeah im so fucking lucky im deaf
You have received a message from: winteriscoming
winteriscoming: steve and i are getting a divorce
russianhoe: no
russianhoe: you don't get to do that to eachother
russianhoe: james, i have known you since i was a teenager. i know you
russianhoe: you and steve are extremely co-dependent, but that's another problem
russianhoe: i know a thing or two about that, and i am telling you, as someone who loves and cares for you, don't do it
russianhoe: the separtation will destroy you
winteriscoming: jesus fucking christ nat i know
winteriscoming: i can't be with someone who doesn't give a shit about themselves and takes on bullshit risks just for the hell of it
winteriscoming: we are too fucking young
russianhoe: this is serious
russianhoe: i am not going to stop you
russianhoe: but this sort of decision takes serious consideration, and i know that you would have never gotten divorced from him up until this point
winteriscoming: you know what, i think you're right
winteriscoming: i just wanted you to know before anyone else did. i'm sorry i didn't talk to you in person about this
winteriscoming: i can't even think of the word divorce without breaking down rn
russianhoe: and i'll help you, but first you gotta lock me out of this bathroom
winteriscoming: oh shit sorry