Markless

Eren’s father had never come back. Five years have passed and he had never walked back through the door he walked out of. The hospital he had worked at didn’t know where he’d went and after a year or so of searching Carla had decided that maybe it was for the best that he was gone. She began working more herself to pick up the bills and continue to give Eren what she could. They had moved into a smaller apartment in the same neighborhood so at least Eren had stayed in the same school and kept his friends.

            Eren never really forgave his father for what he had done to him and his mother. The years never really healed that wound and never could never really imagine it healing. He was in middle school now, doing his best so that his mother had one less thing to worry about. Trying is the important part of that sentence. No matter how much he stuck to his small circle of friends, the bullies just lurked until he was alone to strike.

            His mark had been giving him excruciating pain all day. The thorns that seemed beautiful in a deadly way felt like they were scraping across his skin. He had stepped out from his class to go to the restroom and hopefully calm his mark the best he could though typically nothing could help him until his mark stopped hurting on its own.

            Stepping out into the hall, Eren hunched over in pain as he slowly made his way to the restroom. It felt different from the typical ruffling of the wings and the stings of the thorns. It practically burned. When he finally managed to step into the bathroom he immediately collapsed against a wall and slid down to the floor. This was defiantly something new but what was it was the question. Eren figured he wouldn’t get to find out as his vision went black around the edges. He thought he could hear banging on the door but really, he couldn’t tell if it was real. The last thing he saw was Armin and Mikasa’s concerned faces hovering over him as he finally gave in to the pain on his back. 

            Levi let out a heavy grunt as he fell to the ground over his mother’s grave. He couldn’t believe it. She’d only just came back to him and she was gone again already.

 It wasn’t her fault she couldn’t take care of him when he was young. He wasn’t mad that she left him with his uncle because she knew he could give him a better life. She had done what she thought was right. His uncle had no clue how to care for a small child but he had a better home, stable income, things she knew she couldn’t give him at the time. So, she left him there, going out on her own without a path to follow but at least knew her baby boy was safe.

He had been elated when she had showed back up. Well not at first, because he didn’t understand. He had gone through life not knowing anything about his parents and had given up long ago on asking his uncle. And she just appeared in front of him, pulling him into a tight hug and muttering to him in soft French he felt like he’d heard before a long time ago. He had pulled back in fear not understanding at all. It took hours and more than a little persuasion from his uncle and from her for him to trust she was telling the truth. But once he had given that trust, God was he glad he did. His mother had come back. She had finally found herself in a more stable place in life, and his uncle had invited her to stay with them while she worked at her new job and become a part of Levi’s life again. Levi wanted to be angry. God did he want to hate her for abandoning him, but he couldn’t.

They lived together in that house for nearly a year. Levi moving from freshman to sophomore year with confidence, working hard to make his mother proud. He wanted to show her that her hardships and choices had done right by Levi. That he was making something of himself. His mark had even been steadily growing. Once it had first appeared it continued to slowly grow. A pair of wings had eventually sprouted out of his shoulder blades, starting tiny and soon taking up most of his back. They stayed folded up most of the time and were a soft glowing white. They fluttered and shifted frequently and Levi liked to imagine he could actually feel the movements. The ends tucked behind the large gorgeous bloom of white roses on his lower back. Most were larger than what real roses could bloom to with smaller buds scattered throughout. Often there were soft green stems and leaves weaving through the flowers. Levi coveted his mark and was grateful for every soft movement or sway it made. It would go dark, roses turning blood red or black and the stems growing vicious thorns, the wings twitching more violently. It switched between this eerie darkness and its soft innocent whiteness often. Levi dreaded to think what caused his mate to change so much but he was just happy it was still there. Levi had stopped really showing his friends his mark as he got older. They all became more private and intimate about their marks and Levi especially wanted to keep his safely covered most of the time. His mother was the first to see his mark in many years. She had known he was markless but had never dreamed he would eventually have a mark so beautiful. He would let her gently trace the lines as she sang sweet French lullabies to him and it felt as if she had never left.

They became part of each other’s daily routine. Sharing breakfasts in the morning and watching tv at night. They had bonded fast. Faster than anyone could have predicted. Levi’s mother, Kutchel, had quickly realized her son had grown up fast to make up for what his uncle lacked in taking care of him. His maturity shocked her, but she treated him as he acted and never tried to belittle him. She was often honest with her past and what had happened while she was gone. He sharing of her past and Levi’s hours spent telling his own stories helped them bond and understand each other. They had spent entire days doing nothing but talking and talking. Levi had slowly been picking up some French words from his mother.  

Everything had been going alright. Levi hadn’t seen this coming. Kutchel had just come back to him. He hadn’t had enough time. It wasn’t fair.

The call came at about four in the afternoon. Levi was home from school and attempting to finish his seemingly endless pile of homework. Kutchel had left soon after he’d come home to go shopping for dinner that evening and his uncle was on the sofa watching annoyingly loud tv. Levi was just beginning to wonder when his mom would be home when the phone rang. Kenny groaned on the sofa but quickly muted the tv and answer the hone with a gruff, “Hello?” Levi payed him no mind as he kept working through his math, man fuck math it sucks, when his uncle sat up suddenly. “Oh fuck. Where is she? Which hospital is she at?” He spoke rapidly in the phone as he stood. Levi shot up from his seat then and ran over to where Kenny was standing.

“Kenny, what the fuck is going on?” Levi asked feeling his gut wrench inside him. His uncle just shook his head and motioned towards the door. They both made their way over to the door throwing on shoes and picking up keys.

Kenny spoke up again then. “We’ll be there as soon as we can.” He then ended the call. “Get your ass in gear kid. We need to get to the hospital.” He said as he pulled open the door and stepped outside. Levi followed after blindly feeling a cool numbness in his fingers and legs.

Levi slammed the door closed behind him and locked it, quickly turning on his uncle. “The fuck is going on Kenny, why are we going to the hospital?” Kenny huffed and kept quiet as he climbed into the car.

“Kutchel was involved in a car accident and they’ve rushed her there. Now get in the fucking car so we can go see her moron.” Kenny huffed out as he turned on the car. Levi went ghostly white then as he rushed around the car and got into his own seat. Kenny waiting until the car door shut and then took off towards the hospital. Kenny’s driving was defiantly breaking quiet a few rules but it wasn’t fast enough for Levi. His mind was blank yet everywhere at once. This couldn’t be happening. Not now.

In a much faster than legal drive they were at the hospital parking in the emergency parking lot. Levi barely waited for the car to stop moving before he was out of the car and running. Kenny shouted after him as he ran behind him trying to catch up. Levi got to the receptionist’s desk first, Kenny not far behind. The smell of disinfectant made him want to puke as heaved trying to catch his breath. Kenny, in much better shape from not running as hard quickly gave their names. The receptionists face seemed to fall with pity as she spoke, “Kutchel is currently in surgery. The doctors are doing everything they can to save her. Please wait here and I’ll call you when you can go see her.” Levi’s urge to vomit only got worse then as his uncle guided him to sit in an uncomfortable chair.

  They sat there for what felt like hours. Levi had no idea how long it had actually been when s doctor stepped into the room. “Ackerman?” The doctor called out into the waiting room. Kenny was up first followed quickly after by Levi.

“So, how’s Kuctchel? Where is she? Will she be okay?” Kenny was firing off questions, his nerves clearly starting to get to him. Levi stood beside him not able to speak but antsy for answers as well.

The doctor made a motion for them to follow him. “Follow me.” He said softly and started down a hallway. Levi’s stomach was actually trying to evacuate his body at this point as he felt his heart pounding. His palms were clammy but they felt cold as ice cubes. A growing sense of dread came over both Levi and Kenny as they continued following the doctor. They stepped up to a room and he opened the door stepping in first. The room was deathly silent, despite nurses moving quietly around the room.

The doctor began speaking and Levi could see his mouth move but couldn’t hear a word. He fell to his knees beside the hospital bed that held his mother. Pale as the sheets she was laying on, not breathing, not moving, no heartbeat. She was gone.  

The first thing Levi heard was a gut-wrenching sob, he realized after a moment that it had come from him. He tried to cut off his cries immediately but nothing could stop them once they started. He sobbed as the doctor explained that a drunk driver had t-boned her car. She hadn’t died on impact but had been grievously injured. They had tried to save her but she had lost too much blood and there was too much damage done. She had passed during surgery. Levi nearly screamed then, that the doctors had done this, they had taken her. But he knew it wasn’t true. He knew they had tied. He just hated that he hadn’t gotten to say goodbye.

Levi kneeled there for hours. His legs went numb, his throat grew sore, and his tears had all but run out. Kenny had to practically peel him up off the floor and haul him out of the room. He would have fought but he felt empty.

They returned home and everything felt like a blur. Levi detached from reality and let himself float away from the situation. He didn’t come back to himself until the funeral. He had gone through the ceremony just coasting by. He had set his flower on her casket as they lowered it into the ground. He stayed and watched as the hole was filled in. He stayed until Kenny left and all his friends gave up on trying to move him, leaving him to spend time alone at the grave.

That was when it truly hit him, she was gone and this time there was no chance of her coming back. She wouldn’t show back up some day or magically reappear. She was truly gone this time. And oh, how he broke.

            Eren woke back up slowly. He cracked his eyes open and practically hissed at the bright lights over him. He laid still for a while longer and came back to himself. The pain in his back wasn’t gone but it wasn’t as bad. He groaned softly and opened his eyes again, this time slowly blinking to keep from blinding himself.

            “Eren?” He heard Mikasa softly call from beside the bed he was on. He groaned in response,

            “If I say no will you let me sleep more?” He said softly as he turned his head to look over at her. She laughed softly and hid her smile behind her scarf. She quickly put on a concerned face though as she reached out to grasp Eren’s hand.

            “What happened today Eren? You were gone for so long we came to look for you and found you passed out in the bathroom. Was it your mark?” Mikasa gripped his hand a little harder in worry. Her and Armin knew that his mark was often the source of his pain and problems. Eren nodded and gently sat up.

            He groaned softly as his back twinge in pain. “It was defiantly the mark. It has never felt that way before.” Eren said softly as he slowly stretched his arms up and twisted his back, hearing satisfying popping noises. “I figured it was just the normal pain but it kept getting worse. Is there a mirror somewhere?” He asked as he looked around and recognized the room he was in as the nurse’s office at the school.   

            Mikasa shook her head softly. “Maybe in the bathroom you could check?” She suggested softly. Eren groaned and flopped back onto the bed. A move he immediately regretted as his back flared up in pain again.

            “I don’t want anyone walking in or anything.” He frowned and shuddered as he felt the wings on his back move, but it felt wrong. The nurse stepped in them, having heard them both talking. It was all standard procedure from there. This had happened to Eren on numerous occasions though never to this extreme before. The nurse sent him on his way not long after. When this had first started it used to be a fight to allow Eren to go home and rest the way he needed but by now the nurses understood his condition and just sent him home. Mikasa returned to class after Eren left the building and started on his way home. She was worried about him and wanted to go with but she wasn’t allowed to go home since she wasn’t sick.

            Eren made his way home then. Though his mother worried about him walking home alone at first, her worry faded as Eren proved to be responsible in at least this respect and would go straight home. The walk wasn’t far either so he was okay.

            Eren stepped into the house quickly closing and locking the door behind himself. He rushed straight to his bedroom then. Dropping his backpack on his bed and flinging his shirt off he turned to see his mark in the body length mirror he kept for this exact purpose. When he looked back at his mark he understood now why he had felt so much pain. It looked like the thorny vines had climbed further up the wings and had been pulling them apart. The gory scene made Eren’s heart wrench. What had happened to his mate that had made the scene turn so horrible. Recently the roses had been turning white and the wings had been looking healthier than ever before but this was horrible. It seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. All Eren could hope for in that moment was that his mate would be okay and make it through whatever was happening.