Beginning of the end?
Get out. Those words was stuck in Clarke's head. She wasn't prepared for this. She knew that Lexa could be mad but not that she was about to kick out of her own house. Tears were falling freely down her cheeks. In that moment her heart broke. She never thought that Lexa tell her something like that.
“Lexa please...” She tried to beg but Lexa's stare cut her off.
“I said get out. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you.” Her voice was firm but her eyes were empty.
“I'm sorry...”
“I don't give a fuck that you're sorry. I don't want you in my house.”
“Lexa please… You don't mean that...” Clarke tried again. “I'm sorry.”
“I don't care.”
“Lexa...”
“Get out!!!” Lexa raised her voice and Clarke flinched at her outburst. Lexa never raised her voice like that. The brunette was furious. I killed our baby. Played over and over again in her head like a record. It was her child too. She had every right to know and Clarke took that away from her. Relationships weren't supposed to be like that. They weren't supposed to lie to each other. Deep down she knew that loosing a child wasn't Clarke's fault but it was shut down by the anger and thought of her not being able to mourn her unborn child. Neither of them heard the tiny footsteps.
“Mom?” Lexa turned around to look at her son. She put on a fake smile on her face.
“Hey Champ. Why aren't you sleeping?” She crouched to his eye level.
“You were screaming and I woke up.” Aden rubbed his eyes with his tiny fists. He looked at his mother.
“I'm sorry. I won't be screaming again. I'm sorry for waking you up.” She hugged him and kissed his forehead. He looked at his other mother and when he saw that Clarke was crying he looked again at Lexa.
“Why is mommy crying?” He looked at her in the eyes and waited patiently for an answer. Lexa didn't know what to say. She wasn't prepared for that. But Clarke save her.
“I had a bad dream.” Clarke wiped her tears and smiled to her baby boy. Aden came to her and hugged her knees.
“It's okay mommy. You can sleep with me. I can protect you.” Clarke picked him up and put him on her hip. She kissed his cheek and smiled.
“My little brave man. Thank you baby.” She looked at Lexa and went with Aden to his room. Maybe Lexa didn't want to talk to her or see her but it was her house too. Aden was her son too and she had every right to be here.
When Clarke disappeared with Aden in his room Lexa sat on the couch with a blank expression. She didn't know what she was supposed to do right now. Clarke had dropped a bomb and she didn't know how to survive the blast. She had every right to be mad. To feel betrayed. Lexa didn't know what Clarke was expecting from her. Did she expect Lexa to be okay with this? How could she? Clarke had lost a child who was as much Lexa's as Clarke's and she didn't tell her. She kept it away from her. Clarke was pregnant. They had a second child and she didn't even know that baby existed. Lexa approached one of the drawers and took out a photo album with every pictures of Aden. Including the ones from USG. She opened it and looked at those USG photos. A tiny dot on the picture. She was supposed to have two photos like that. Clarke was supposed to send her that kind of photo of their second child. Lexa was staring at those pictures and then it hit her. All at once. She would never had a chance to meet her second child. She didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl. Her child was gone. Her child died. In that moment Lexa couldn't catch her breath. Tears were falling down her cheeks and her vision started to get blurry. It hurt so much. She felt physical pain in her chest. It was unbearable. It was too much. She couldn't be in this house. She took her keys and got out of the house. She drove to the one person who could help her. Normally it was Clarke who knew how to calm her down but this time it wasn't an option. Lexa couldn't look at her. It was too much for her. When she arrived at her destination she stood outside the door and knocked a few times.
“What the fu… Lexa?” Anya was shocked to see her sister this late. What was more she never saw her in a mess like that. “What happened?”
“I… she told… she lost it… it's gone… I don't… And then Aden… I never met… and I can't… I don't… Why?” Lexa broke down in front of her sister and she slumped down the wall and started sobbing. She was strongly trembling. Her head was hidden in her hands. In that moment two arms wrapped around her.
“Shhh… It's okay. I'm here.” Anya stroked Lexa's hair and held her tight. When Lexa calmed down a little bit Anya helped her come inside. They sat on the couch. “Okay… Tell me slowly what happened?”
“Clarke… She came back. I mean… she came back home.” Lexa's voice was barely audible. But Anya heard her nonetheless. Her eyes widened. She knew that Clarke was in the country. Lexa told her immediately but she wasn't expecting her to come home. It didn't look like Clarke wanted to come home.
“Okay… and it is a bad thing?” Anya was really trying to understand why Lexa reacted this way. She knew how much Lexa loved Clarke. Something bad must have happened. When Lexa didn't respond Anya frowned. “Lexa?”
“She was pregnant.” The brunette looked at her shaking hands. Anya was speechless. She didn't expect this. She looked at Lexa and couldn't say any word. “And she lost it.”
“She cheated on you?” Anya said angry. How dared she cheat on her little sister? She couldn't believe this. “I'll kick her ass… No one can pull that shit on you! Who does she think she is?!” The blonde raised and went to go out but Lexa stopped her.
“She didn't cheat on me. She was pregnant with my child.” Lexa looked at her sister and it was the moment when Anya could see all the pain and hurt in her little sister's eyes. She sat again next to Lexa and hugged her. She held her when Lexa told her everything. It was more and more difficult for Anya to keep her emotions at bay. With every new information the blonde hugged her sister tighter.
“Shit Lex… I'm so sorry.” The blonde started to stroke Lexa's back.
“I told her to get out.” This words weren't louder more than a whisper.
“You told her what? Why?” Anya looked at her in disbelief. She knew that Clarke had fucked up, but loosing this child wasn't her fault. And Lexa had gone too far with this.
“I know it wasn't her fault. She didn't have any control over this. I know, but it hurt so much… I couldn't look at her. She lied to me Anya. For months she told me nothing more than lies. How am I supposed to be okay with this? It was my child too. I should have known. I should have been there for her. She didn't let me help, she didn't let me mourn my own child.” Lexa started crying again.
“I know it's hard for you and I know it is very painful for you but don't forget that you two have a child already. Aden needs his parents. And Clarke is his mother just as much as you. You can't kick her out of the house. I know that she fucked up but she came back. I'm not saying you need to forgive her. Hell no… But you need to cooperate with her when it comes to Aden. Do it for your son.”
“I don't want to see her right now. I'm not ready.”
“You can stay here. I'll prepare you the guest room. You don't have to go back there tonight. I know Clarke can take care of Aden in the morning. And I'm sure Aden will be happy if he can spend some time alone with her.” Lexa just nodded. Anya took her to the guest room. When Lexa was laying on the bed alone she couldn't help but cry again. Actually she never stopped crying until she fell asleep.
Tiny hands woke Clarke up in the morning. She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw her son. Aden poked her face so she could finally wake up. He couldn't wait any longer. He wanted to draw and play with his mommy. He had missed her so much.
“Mommy, mommy. Wake up.” He told her and kissed her cheek. He knew how his mom would wake up Clarke and it always worked. "Mommy wake up. We need to draw." Aden looked at his mother with excitement.
"First we eat breakfast. Then you brush your teeth and then we can draw okay?"
"But mommy... " He didn't want to waste his time for breakfast. He was afraid that his mother would leave again and he wanted to play with her while he still could.
"No buts. Breakfast, teeth and then we draw." Clarke got out of the bed and gave Aden some clothes so he could get dressed. The little boy pouted but didn't argue with his mother. When Clarke left the room the dead silence greeted her. She went to her bedroom but there was no sign of Lexa. None in the bathroom, living room, kitchen. Nowhere. She checked her phone and saw that she had a voicemail from Anya. 'Wait? From Anya?' She pressed the notification and put her phone to her ear.
"Hi Clarke. I assume you are asleep. I just want to let you know that Lexa is here. She will be staying the night. So you don't have to worry about her. Bye." Clarke could hear the coldness in her voice so she was sure that Lexa had told her everything.
"Mommy help!" She heard a yelling from her son's bedroom. She hurried there and looked at her son. "I'm stuck." Clarke tried to hold on her laughter when she saw Aden's head stuck in the t shirt.
"Baby not this hole... Right here." She helped him put on the T-shirt. "What do you want for breakfast?"
"Cereals!!! But the new ones mom bought. Please." He shot her the sweetest smile he could and Clarke melted right away. They went to the kitchen. The blonde boy climbed up in one of the chairs and watched his mother making him breakfast. In that moment he noted that Lexa wasn't here. Which was odd. She was always the first one to wake up.
"Where is mom? Is she sleeping? Can I wake her up?" He started climbing down the chair when Clarke stopped him.
"No Aden. Mom isn't sleeping. She went to work." She put a bowl of cereals in front of her son and gave him a spoon so he could eat it.
“But she didn't say goodbye. She always does." His chin started to tremble and then Clarke knew she had made a mistake.
"Don't cry. Mom just had to go very early and she didn't want to wake you up. But she went to your room and kissed you goodbye." She let a sigh of relief when she saw Aden smile but after that his eyes went wide with fear.
"I didn't wish her a good day. I need to. I don't want her to have a bad day." He looked at his mother so she could figure something out.
"We can call her and you can wish her a good day. Is that okay?" When he nodded she smiled at him. Aden was eating his breakfast and Clarke took the opportunity to got changed. She made herself a cup of coffee and cleaned after her son while he brushed his teeth.
"Can we call her now?" Aden stood in the doorframe with his chin covered in toothpaste.
"Yes. But come here." She cleaned his chin and sat him on her lap. She took her phone and dialed Lexa's number. She just hoped that the brunette would answer the call. And there was the voicemail. She sighed. She called Anya and prayed that the older Woods would answer. She was waiting and waiting. She was about to give up when a harsh voice was heard.
"What do you want? I told you yesterday you don't have to worry about her." Clarke knew that Anya was pissed.
"Good morning to you too. And I know that she doesn't want to talk to me. Tell her that Aden want to talk to her. Apparently they have a some daily routine." When Anya agreed she gave her phone to Aden.
"Hi mom. I didn't tell you to have good day. You need to have good day. Now you will have."
"Oh thank you baby. I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye." Lexa felt bad for missing her morning routine with her son. They always hugged each other and wished each other a good day and had a special handshake.
"It's okay. I know you didn't want to wake me up. Mommy told me you were in my room to say goodbye. So don't worry." Lexa was taken aback by his words.
"Did she... Well have a good day too. I will be back before dinner. I need to go baby. I love you." Even though she was mad at Clarke she was also glad that she had covered for her in this moment.
"I love you too mom. Do you want to talk to mommy?" When Clarke heard this question she knew Lexa would probably say no but deep down she hoped that maybe the brunette would say yes. "No kiddo. I don't have to."
"Okay. Bye." Aden hung up and gave the phone to Clarke.
"Aden! Why did you hung up?" She looked at his son.
"She didn't want to talk to you. Can we draw now?" The little boy wasn't aware what those words truly meant.
"Go get your crayons and we can draw." When Aden went to his room for his crayons Clarke put the dishes in the dishwasher. Her son's words hurt her so much. A single tear rolled down her cheek. She wiped it immediately. She knew that Lexa needed time but still those words were painful to hear. She started to wonder if this was the beginning of the end for their relationship.