do you remember?
Raven skips breakfast the next morning. She tells Lexa she’s not feeling well and after ten minutes of convincing her that it’s fine and that she should get something to eat, Lexa leaves. All Raven really had to do was comment on how Lexa’s barely anything but skin and bones.
That one always sticks with her.
Raven feels terrible, she hates pointing out how horrible Lexa’s been over the summer. It’s always like that, every year. The Mage always sends her away without telling anyone where, and then she just comes back, thin, weak, different. It’s like she loses something every time she goes away from the school, away from the group.
The Mage doesn’t see that, Raven knows it. The Mage may care about Lexa in some weird way no one will ever understand. But what Raven knows is that the main reason Lexa’s at the school, or even alive for that matter, is because she’s supposed to kill the Humdrum.
But The Mage won’t even tell anyone why the Humdrum is after Lexa. Raven guessed a long time ago that The Mage knows why and that she just chooses not to tell Lexa. Lexa spent her first year guessing, and The Mage just encouraged her. She didn’t even tell her it didn’t matter or some shit like that.
She made Lexa think she’d figure it out eventually.
But Raven can’t think about that right now. All she can think about is the burning pain in her leg. She sits up from her bed, she’s still wearing her tank top from yesterday and a pair of loose shorts. It’s always a million degrees in their room when Lexa’s there. Her power even warms the air around her, it’s crazy.
Raven grabs her leg brace from the end of her bed. Finn made it for her. He carved his initials on the side of it. He made it in their third year, that’s when Raven’s leg got really bad. She remembers the day she was hurt, she wishes she didn’t.
It was their first year at Watford. Everything was fine and well and then suddenly Lexa was out on the fields fighting dozens of goblins, Clarke had pushed her way past Raven and some other kids to go out and help Lexa. Raven thought about going out there too, but it was only when a teacher pushed her out of the way to get to Clarke and Lexa that Raven started running for it.
Every day she wishes she’d just stood still with the rest of the children.
But Raven had to be a part of the fight. So she ran towards a goblin that was coming for Clarke and suddenly Lexa started screaming and some weird wave of light or fire or something came towards Raven and she wasn’t fast enough to run away from it.
The next thing she remembers was lying on the grass with kids around her, scared, and her leg hurting. She couldn’t move it and for a second she just thought someone had used a freezing spell or something. She’d read about that in her schoolbooks.
But nothing happened for the rest of the year. Her leg kept hurting but she couldn’t move it. Lexa kept avoiding her, she felt guilty. And then suddenly the year ended and Raven was sick of Lexa being a scaredy-pants. So she got Lexa to follow her to the train Raven always takes to get to Watford and they talked for the whole way there.
That’s when they became best friends.
But a small part of Raven is stilled pissed at Lexa for hurting her. It pisses her off that Lexa can’t learn to control her magic, if she could, then maybe she could fix her leg. Normally you’d just fix injuries with magic, but when it’s the most powerful wizard on earth that’s broken you, it’s not just something anyone can fix.
It has to be her.
Raven puts on a loose pair of trouser to go over the brace, to hide it. She pulls on a hoodie, one of Finn’s, and ties her boots tightly and then she’s out. Her earphones in and head low as she walks down the stairs and out of the building.
She walks towards the forest, because no one ever goes there and Raven has this special place she likes.
It takes her about ten minutes to get there. It’s been raining all night, so the grass is more mud than grass and she keeps slipping and almost falling. Also, not being able to bend your leg doesn’t really help on the situation.
But when she gets to the tree that’s been growing along the ground, a perfect place to sit, she leans against the trunk of the tree and tries to shut out the people running around on the football field. She focuses on the sound of the trees moving in the wind.
But her leg is pounding underneath her trousers and she can’t shut that out. It hurts and it hurts and it hurts. She sits back up and rolls up her trousers. Bruises are starting to form around her knee, that’s never happened before. Not since the accident several years ago.
“That doesn’t look too good. “
Raven turns her head up and sees Murphy standing a few feet away from her.
“Neither do you, “ She says, almost whispers. But she’s right. His face is beaten up, he has cuts around his right eyebrow and lower lip. His knuckles are red and sore looking. The bags under his eyes are more prominent than his actual eyes, they’re a bluish, grey color.
He laughs at her comment and takes a few steps closer to her, slowly, as if he’d startle her.
“What the hell happened to you? “ Raven asks and moves a bit to let him sit next to her. She tries to hide the pain as she moves.
“Let’s just say some people are not big fans of me, “ He says and looks up at the tree crowns. The leaves are falling down around them, getting caught in the wind. He looks at her, smiles a little and sits down next to her.
“Can’t imagine why, “ Raven says and laughs a little, picking at a loose string at the edge of the hoodie.
“How long has your leg been hurting? “ He asks as if it’s nothing. Like it’s common knowledge that Raven’s in serious pain.
“Not long, really. A little over the summer, I think. It’s fine, though. “
He laughs a raw laugh.
“Sure it is, “ He says. “But what are you going to do when you can’t actually walk anymore? “
That makes Raven turn to him and slap him. She doesn’t really know where the anger comes from, but she just felt like that was what she needed to do.
“Ouch? “ He says with a stern look, licking some blood from his lip. She must’ve reopened the cut.
“Sorry. “ She doesn’t try to sound convincing, he knows that.
“I didn’t mean to, you know, hurt you or anything. But the others kind of need to know at some point, Raven. “ He says her name in a weird way, Raven thinks. It sounds weird. Maybe it’s because he normally call her Reyes or a curse word or something.
“Not if it gets better. “ She doesn’t even believe that herself.
“We both know it won’t. “
“Maybe, “ She says.
“Maybe, “ He says.
They both stay quiet for a while. Raven thinks about how it happened, again, she plays it over and over in her head and, somehow, a tear rolls down her cheek.
“Shit, “ She whispers as she wipes it away. Murphy clearly doesn’t know what to do, so he turns to face her, leans back against the trunk of the tree and puts his legs on either side of the massive trunk they’re sitting on.
“It fucking sucks, you know. “ Raven starts. “That the reason I’m in a constant pain is because of my best friend. And because of that I can’t even be mad about it. Like, she can’t help it. She didn’t ask to have so much power that she couldn’t control it. She didn’t mean to hit me and- “
“What the fuck are you talking about, Raven? “ Murphy asks annoyed. “You have every right to be pissed! You’re in pain and that’s what matters right now. It doesn’t matter how it happened or who did it. You can be upset if you want to, you know. Fuck everyone else, “ He says.
Raven laughs a little, but that just ends up being forced and she starts crying even more.
“Fuck, “ She whispers, she can’t wipe the tears away fast enough and soon she’s right on bawling her eyes out.
“Jesus, Raven. I didn’t mean to make it worse, holy fuck. “ Murphy panics and that just makes her laugh even more, which makes it worse. It’s a horrible circle or tears and laughs.
He moves closer to her and drags her in for a hug. She doesn’t think she’s ever hugged Murphy, but it’s nice. He’s really good at it when you think about how few people he must’ve hugged in his life. She knows he used to date this girl Emori, or something. It ended pretty badly, but he never talks about it.
It’s a tight, warm hug and he doesn’t seem to care that she’s crying all over his shoulder.
When he starts to let go she turns her head towards him. He looks even worse close up, she can see one of his eyes is blue and green around the rim and his lip is swollen, it probably didn’t help that she punched him.
Suddenly everything goes quiet and she can’t seem to hear the people on the football field anymore, or the leaves or the wind. She doesn’t seem to notice the pain or the tears that have stopped falling. All she cares about is how perfect her lips are fitting against Murphy’s and how right and wrong it feels at once.
She’s kissing Murphy, Murphy.
The sun’s shining at the top of the sky, giving Octavia and Raven a good excuse to drink their tea next to the football field. Lincoln’s practicing with the kids again, they’re doing okay. But one of the kids keeps getting out his wand and tries to make the opposite team’s goal twice as big to make it easier for him to score. But he just ends up making the grass grow and it’s all just a big mess.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better, “ Octavia says with a smile. She takes out a few mugs, they have the Watford logo on them. It’s like they’re branding the school within the walls, it’s stupid.
“Yeah, me too. “ Raven grabs the mug at takes a big sip of it, burning her tongue meanwhile.
“You’re such a horrible liar, Raven. “ Octavia laughs. “What the hell’s up with you right now? “ Octavia asks, getting a cookie and dips it in her tea.
“Nothing, I just. Uhm, “ Rave says. She’s struggling. A lot. “I was in the woods, trying to get some fresh air and Murphy just happened to be there. I was there first, of course. And, uhm, we just started talking and- “
“Holy fucking shit! Raven Reyes, did you fuck John Murphy in the forest? “ Octavia screams.
“Shh! Oh my God, Octavia, I will murder you! “ Raven shushes her over and over again as Octavia falls back on the grass, laughing.
“Okay, okay, okay! But did you- “
“No! We just, I don’t know, kissed. For a while. A long while, “ Raven can’t stop smiling, it’s so weird. She’s never thought about Murphy that way.
“This is great, “ Octavia says and takes another sip.
“No, it’s not. “ Raven shifts awkwardly on the blanket they’re sitting on. “It’s only been two years since Finn- “
“Exactly. It’s been two years, Raven. You can at least, you know, experiment a little. “
“Is that an offer? “ Raven asks and winks at Octavia. Octavia laughs and pretends to seduce Raven by leaning over her and sticking out her tongue very dramatic, but neither of them can keep a straight face so they fall down on top of each other, laughing.
“You’re such a weirdo, “ Raven says and breathes through the pain in her leg. It’s fine, she tells herself.
Clarke sits down in her bed. Murphy’s on the other side of the room, laying down in Octavia’s bed with a sneaky smile on his face.
“What’s up with you? “ Clarke asks, looking kind of grossed out.
“Just enjoying Watford at its finest. Something wrong with that? “ Clarke just shakes her head and leans back against the wall.
“When do you think the Humdrum will come? “ She asks, suddenly. It makes Murphy sit up in his bed and look at her, all serious, no smile.
“I don’t know. Maybe in a few months or so? Stuff always seems to happen at the end of the school year. “
“Yeah, the Insidious Humdrum does seem to value education very much. “ Clarke laughs.
“It’s going to be mental when it does happen, though, “ Murphy suddenly says. “There’ll be war, for real. I’m going to live in a time with war. That’s sick. “
“It’s not a war, “ She says. She always corrects him when he calls it a war. She thinks it gets too real.
“Words are just words, Clarke. Just because I call it a war doesn’t mean it will make it worse or better. Words don’t change anything like that, “ He always says.
“Do you think she’ll make it? “ Clarke asks, looking at Murphy with pleading eyes.
“I honestly don’t know. “ He’s thought about that a lot, everyone has. “If anyone can kill the Humdrum it has to be her. But The Mage looks stressed about all of it, like she’d expected Lexa to be better with her magic by now, “ He says.
“Yeah, Lexa’s shit at magic. “ They both laugh. But Clarke’s throat is hurting and she realizes she’s holding back her tears.
“Imagine if it was Octavia. The Humdrum would’ve been dead a long time ago, “ Murphy says jokingly. But when he looks at Clarke and sees that she’s crying he feels kind of bad about it.
“Stop crying, dude. “ He jokes. “Suck it up. “
They laugh for a little bit and then they both fall asleep. There’s not much to do the first few months of Watford. The students all come at different times and the new ones need time to get used to the school and the rules and everything.
So people normally just use the time to get rest and warm up again, not many use magic outside of Watford. If normal humans catch you you could get jail time. Which sucks because it’s not like normal jail. It’s a sort of spell that takes all your magic away from you for however long you’ve been sentenced and then you have to live a normal life. Capital ‘N’.