Strangers On A Bench

Song : I love you by Woodkid

The sun was creeping out of the curtains, slowly awaking Lexa. She felt something shift in the sheets, coming closer to her, and smiled when she noticed Ayden looking at her with curious eyes and messy hair.

“Hey Ayden” Lexa whispered, not wanting to wake Clarke up, “did you sleep well?”

The boy nodded, still looking at Lexa with a weird expression.

“What is it?” Lexa asked, half-intrigued half-amused by the staring boy.

“I’m waiting for you to get up so we can do pancakes for Mommy” he said, and Lexa smiled to him.

“Alright buddy”, Lexa chuckled, “let’s go make pancakes”. Ayden happily hummed, getting rid of the covers to get up. Lexa moved to do the same, but Clarke was still sleeping quite on her, and the blonde tightened her embrace when she felt Lexa move.

It made Lexa chuckle as she slowly removed herself from the Blonde’s arms, kissing her forehead before leaving the room.

Ayden had already picked up his toys and was making some kind of race between his vehicles, making very cute noises in the living-room. Lexa shivered when her feet touched the cold floor, and quickly picked up two pairs of socks and sweaters for them to wear.

“Ayden, come here” She called him, “put those clothes on so you don’t get sick”.

“Thank you Yexa” the boy smiled, quickly hugging the girl’s legs and went back to his toys like nothing had happened. Lexa was still shocked, though. She still wasn’t used to live with a child, and she was stunning herself at how motherly she could be with a kid who wasn’t even her own. Ayden wasn’t any child though. It was Clarke’s, to start. And as time was passing by... Maybe Lexa was starting to consider him as her own kid, too. Maybe.  

Lexa laughed when Ayden spent the five minutes looking for another toy in the apartment. “We need to get you a room to put all your toys in” Lexa joked. Ayden didn’t say anything, but Lexa was too busy gathering the items to do pancakes to notice it.

Ayden sat down on a chair while Lexa was making breakfast; it had become a sort of tradition, whenever Lexa and Ayden would got up early enough to do pancakes before she had to leave to go to work. She purred a glass of juice, put it in front of Ayden, who seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

“Ayden? You’re ok buddy?” Lexa gently asked while flipping pancakes over.

“I don’t understand” he murmured, turning the glass into his fingers.

“What do you not understand?” Lexa asked, frowning; she didn’t like to see Ayden preoccupied like this.

“It’s not like before” Ayden said.

“What is not?”

“I don’t know. Things” Ayden shrugged.

Lexa stopped cooking pancakes so she could focus on the boy. She sat next to him, making him look at her. “You know you can tell me anything you want, Ayden” She gently said.

Ayden sighed. He knew this. He just didn’t know how to say what was on his mind. Maybe he was a little scared, too.

“How long are we going to live here?” he asked then, taking Lexa by surprise.

“I don’t know” Lexa sincerely answered, “do you not like being here?”

“No I like it” he quickly said, “I don’t want to leave, but...”

Lexa knew he wanted to ask something –he had the same expression as Clarke- but was too afraid to say so. “Tell me”, she encouraged him.

“In the other house, I had a room for me. Finn said it was because he didn’t want me to bother them when they wanted to sleep” he explained, looking a bit afraid, “do I bother you too?”

And Lexa’s brows raised; why would he think that? And then, she remembered saying they were going to give him a room. The boy must have taken this as a rejection.

“Oh no, Ayden, you don’t bother me at all” she quickly said, getting up to take the boy in her arms to reassure him, “I like sleeping with you and your mommy.” Well, this wasn’t entirely true; the nights would probably be a lot different if Ayden wasn’t in bed with them. If you see what I mean...

Ayden hummed, burying his head into Lexa’s neck. Lexa was always taken aback by how Clarke and Ayden were alike, sometimes. Not physically, of course, because Ayden looked a little more like Finn, for what Lexa had seen. But in the inside... They were SO the same. What was soothing one of them was also soothing the other one.

“I was thinking about giving you a room, not because you bother me, but rather so you could have a big space just for you” Lexa explained, carrying him to the guest room.

She made Ayden looked at the room. “You see? We could put a special bed over there for big boys like you” Lexa gestured in a corner of the room, “and here, we could put a closet or a commode with clothes and superheroes suits in it”.

Ayden’s eyes were finding their joy back as Lexa was talking. “Here, big boxes for your toys” Lexa said again, “and maybe a little desk, if you want to draw or write things?” She didn’t mention the “do to your homework” part, because Clarke hadn’t talk about it with him yet.

Ayden nodded. “You could still sleep with us if you are afraid to sleep alone” Lexa gently said, looking in his eyes, “but this would be your place. Your bedroom”.

“My own?” Ayden asked.

“Yes!” Lexa answered, smiling at him, “what do you say?”

Ayden nodded. A place for himself would be cool. Especially if he could still sleep with Lexa and his mom when he was scared of the dark and all the noises he wasn’t familiar yet with.

“Can we... Can we pain the walls with colours?” he shyly asked.

“Of course” Lexa chuckled, “which colour?”

“I don’t know!” Ayden brightly answered, getting excited by the prospective, “blue! Or... Green! Red?”

Lexa laughed and put him back on the floor. “We have to do some big researches then!”

Ayden seriously nodded, going back to the kitchen table. Lexa still had a smile on her face while watching the little boy run in the living-room with the sweater way too big for him. Lexa told herself she would have to talk with Clarke about getting new clothes for the boy. Lost in her thoughts, she hadn’t seen Clarke leaning on a wall. She had been there for quite some time, observing Lexa suggesting things for Ayden’s bedroom. And Clarke fell in love with her. Well, she already had, but she fell in love again. On spot.

Lexa smiled to the still half-sleeping blonde watching her. “Hey there”.

Clarke didn’t say anything, not telling Lexa she had heard almost everything, and lazily put her arms around Lexa and hugged her. It had become their way to say hello to each other. It was funny to see those two interact, really; they were never too far from each other if they had the choice, rarely exchanging with words. It was always light touches, hugs, sometimes chase kisses. It was like they sometimes needed to synchronise themselves on each other.

“I made pancakes” Lexa said, pulling back from the hug, kissing Clarke on her forehead.

“I know, it smells good in the whole apartment” Clarke chuckled, taking Lexa hands to lead them to the kitchen where Ayden was already eating the first few pancakes Lexa had made.

Of course, there was maple syrup all over the table and clothes, but everything was so cute Lexa took a quick picture of Clarke and Ayden laughing as Clarke was trying to clean his face, and put it as her new wallpaper on her phone with a big smile on her lips.

She took a look at the clock; she needed to get ready fast if she didn’t want to be late. And she couldn’t be late, as she had so much work to do.

Half an hour later, Lexa was ready to head out. Ayden was in the guest-room playing with toys, warming Lexa’s heart; this meant he was cool with the idea of having his own bedroom. She was still kind of stressed out though; she had never really talked about it with Clarke, and she didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable or anything.

“You’re leaving?” Clarke asked. She knew Lexa had to go to work, but she hated it nevertheless.

“Yes” Lexa sighed; she hated leaving them too, “you have everything you need for lunch in the fridge, okay?”

Clarke nodded. The pair shared a quick kiss, and Lexa headed for the door.

“Lexa?” The blonde suddenly asked before Lexa had closed the door behind her.

“Yes?”

“I’m going to talk to Ayden about going back to school. Maybe go visit the two we picked up. Is that ok?” Clarke asked, searching for Lexa’s approval. She knew well Lexa wasn’t Ayden’s mother and that she officially didn’t need Lexa’s agreement, but she needed to be sure she was making things right with her kid. She couldn’t screw up anymore. She needed to be responsible. Be a real grown up, and deal with things instead of running from it.

Lexa smiled. “Yes, it’s a good idea”, but then frowned. “If you’re getting out, maybe... Maybe ask someone not busy to go with you?” Lexa suggested. She was sad she couldn’t go with Ayden and Clarke, and she wasn’t really comfortable with the idea of Clarke and Ayden alone in the streets either.

Clarke nodded; she would have asked for someone to come with them anyways. They shared a last smile, and Lexa was gone.

Clarke made Ayden take a bath, and had her teeth clenched the whole time. She wanted to cry and scream every time she was seeing the angry scar on Ayden’s back; proof she had failed him as his mother. But Clarke also knew she wasn’t completely responsible for everything bad that had happened to them, and past was past. She couldn’t change it. But she could be better. She could be the safety her kid needed, his support too. She was trying to get her life back, and that was starting by making Ayden feel safe and loved and secured.

“Put some clothes on honey” Clarke chuckled when Ayden ran out of the bathroom still naked.

They both sat on the couch, watching some cartoons on TV.

“Ayden, I want to talk to you about something” Clarke gently said.

The kid turned himself towards his mother, ready to listen to whatever she had to say.

“You remember that, before coming to live here with Lexa, you were going to school on some days?” Clarke asked.

“Yes” Ayden shrugged. He used to like going to school, playing with other kids. Ayden had always been a social kid, making a lot of friends. Before. Now, he was happy just to stay at home all day long, playing with his new toys and waiting for Lexa to come back. He liked Lexa a lot; and was always sad when she couldn’t stay home with them all day too.

“Great, so maybe it’s time for you to go back at school, now that we are living here.” Clarke said, making a pause to be sure the kid had understood her, “what do you think?”

Ayden frowned, looking at his mother with a suspicious look. “Does Lexa agree?” he asked, taking Clarke by surprise.

“Yes, she does” Clarke answered, “and yesterday, we went to visit some schools her and me, to see which one would be better. What do you think?”

Ayden shrugged. “Does that mean we are going to leave this place?”

“No”, Clarke frowned, “We are going to stay here. It doesn’t mean you can’t go to school, you can both go to school and live here”.

Clarke waited for the boy’s answer; which didn’t come.

“You know, school is very important” Clarke said again as Ayden wasn’t answering, “you will learn how to read properly, how to write, how to count...”

Ayden’s eyes lightened up. “Count like Lexa?” He had seen Lexa looking through pages of numbers a few times before, while she was doing some Coalition Corp’s business, and it had stunned him a lot.

“Yes, like Lexa” Clarke confirmed, smiling.

“Ok”, the boy said, “I want to go to school again”. Clarke laughed at his enthusiasm.

“Great. Do you want to go out today, and visit the two schools we went to yesterday?” The blonde asked her son.

“Will Lexa come too?” the boy wondered, and pouted a little when Clarke explained that she wouldn’t come because she was at work for the whole day. Clarke had suggested they invite one of their Arcadia friends, and Raven had gladly accepted to come, as she had the day off.

After lunch, Lincoln had brought Raven to Lexa’s place, and the three of them were walking on the streets, heading to the first school Lexa and Clarke had picked up the day before.

Ayden was walking a few steps ahead, playing with little rocks on the pavement.

“So, Ayden is going to school again” Raven started the conversation, “How do you feel about that?”

Clarke sighed, because she didn’t really know. “It will be weird, not having him under my eyes all the time”.

Neither woman brought the fact that Clarke was going to be alone at Lexa’s place all day long, even if they both know it was clearly implied in the question.

“You trust Lexa with Ayden” Raven stated. She knew Lexa had only proven herself to be kind and caring for Ayden and his mother, but still, she was finding weird the fact that Clarke was now living with someone she didn’t know about the month before. Not to mention the fact Clarke had been paranoid with her son, not letting anyone look after him alone. She had let Lexa, though. And Anya. Who was really hot, by the way.

“I do” Clarke nodded.

“She must be someone” Raven said again.

Clarke raised a brow at her friend; knowing where she wanted to go with her questions/not questions.

“I’m just saying that, you didn’t trust any of us like this with Ayden before” Raven shrugged, “So I’m only concluding she has something, or do something, we don’t.”

Clarke could see Raven was trying to act like it was no big deal; except it was. She shook her head to show Raven she disagreed. “I was wrong not to trust you guys” the Blonde confessed, “and Lexa kind of kicked my paranoia out” she chuckled, making Raven chuckle too. “I trust her with Ayden, because she saved my life and his”, Clarke said, “and I do trust you. Did I not let Ayden go to Arcadia to hang with you guys yesterday, without me being here?”

Raven smiled, because that was true. Octavia and herself had been really impressed.

“But... Ayden, he is my son, Rae” Clarke sighed, “he is the most precious thing I have, and sometimes I’m worrying so much I feel like I’m going to die”.

“Wait until he’s old enough to come home at 6 in the morning completely drunk” Raven shot back with a smirk on her face.

It made Clarke laugh. “I now wonder why I bother myself with a kid”.

“Not like you chose it either” Raven sighed back.

“Yeah” Clarke sighed too. “I’m happy it happened, though.”

Raven smiled to her Blonde friend. Clarke’s pregnancy hadn’t been desired at all, but if she had wanted for it to happen, she couldn’t have asked for a better kid than Ayden. 

“How are you, though?” Clarke asked her friend, changing the subject. She had heard from Lexa – who had herself heard it from Anya- that Raven had had a hard time yesterday with her leg.

“Fine, I guess” Raven sighed. This wasn’t true; her leg was hurting all day long for a few weeks now, but Raven didn’t want to worry Clarke. The girl had enough things to handle on her plate already.

But Clarke sensed it, of course. “Don’t lie to me, Rae” she said, “I want the truth”.

Raven sighed again. “Fine. My leg hurts like hell, all the time, even if I’m not standing. I don’t know, it’s just... It’s just always painful. I think the meds aren’t working anymore”.

Clarke’s heart broke while hearing Raven. She knew well the role she had played in Raven’s healing, and she knew even better how her absence must have been hard for Raven. The Latina hadn’t said anything about it to Clarke, but Octavia had told her.

“I’m sorry for leaving, Rae” Clarke apologised, “but I’m back now. Maybe we could start again some massage sessions?”

Raven smiled, thanking Clarke with her eyes, nodding. Raven wasn’t an open-heart person. She was rarely talking about her feelings; didn’t mean Clarke couldn’t read her nonetheless.

“I’m glad you’re back” Raven confessed with a tiny voice. It wasn’t much; but for Raven, it was a huge confession, and Clarke knew it.

Clarke smiled to her friend. “I’m glad I’m back, too”. Raven then made a funny face with her tongue out, because of course she couldn’t be serious for too long; and the both of them laughed, happy to be in each other’s presence.

“Ayden, come here!” Clarke called her child as they had made it to the first school.

In her office, Lexa was finding the day endless. Hours didn’t seem to pass by, and Titus was really getting on her nerves. Thankfully he had sensed it, and had made John Murphy do the hard work. But what Titus didn’t know was that Lexa and Murphy knew each other, now. The man was asking about Clarke from time to time, and Lexa could see he was really interested with the answer. Lexa didn’t know the reasons why, but she knew John Murphy was a bit apart of the group. The others rarely talked about him, and it seemed like he was avoiding being around all of them as much as he can. He seemed to genuinely care about Clarke though, talking about her with a shown respect. Lexa could only wonder what had happened between Clarke and him for John to be respectful like this.

“Heda” Murphy said, walking into the office, “I have some papers for you. Titus said they had to be read and signed by tomorrow morning”.

Lexa huffed; she was the CEO, but with Titus she was often being treated like a child. “Thanks, Murphy. I’m sorry Titus is making you do the dirty work because he is afraid to face me when I’m in a mood.”

“It’s ok” the boy shrugged, “it gives me a reason not to stay around him all day long”.

Lexa let a small smile escape from her lips. She liked John Murphy. Well, maybe she mostly liked him because he disliked Titus too.

“Bye, Heda” Murphy said while heading for the door. At first, he had thought that calling Lexa Woods Heda was stupid, and now he was slowly beginning to learn the signification of the term, as he was spending more and more time travelling between Coalition Corp’s twelve companies. Lexa really had put everyone together, and having seen all the good she had done by creating the group, he was now giving her a lot of respect. And coming from him... That was an exploit.

“Oh, John?” Lexa called him, stopping him; he wasn’t used to people calling him John. Emori was usually the only one calling him that. Sometimes she even wondered if the others even remembered his first name. He turned around to see what Lexa had to say.

“Where’s no one around, you can call me Lexa”, the brunette said with a smile.

Murphy nodded, thanking her, and exited the room. Lexa sighed, putting the files on top of a bunch of others, and leaned back in her rolling chair. It was 5pm, she still had to be stuck here for another two before going home. Not that she had any schedule to respect, as she was CEO, but it would not been seen well by the ambassadors if she was to leave before 7pm.

Lexa exaggeratedly sighed before opening the files and beginning the reading. Man, how bored she was. 

Clarke and Raven were heading out of the first school.

“So little man, how did you find this one?” Raven asked.

“It was ok. The teacher seems nice” the boy shrugged. Raven looked to Clarke, who shrugged too, not having an explanation for her son’s behaviour.

“Ok, let’s go to the second one!” Clarke said, leading the way.

Ten minutes later, they were inside the other school. Clarke liked this one better, but just because it was a lot more colourful than the first one. Except that, both schools seemed to be really great.

They went to see the Headmaster, and then the teacher Ayden would have if he was to choose this school. Ayden barely talked, and Clarke was getting worried she was forcing her son to do something he was not ready for yet. Or maybe he was just tired. He was only five, after all.

Ayden walked by all the corridors the school had, entered in every classroom without saying a word. Clarke could see he was studying things, though; his eyes were wandering everywhere, like he was trying to memorise everything.

When they had finished, night was slowly rising, so they hurried themselves to get home. The school was a five minute walk away from the loft, so they were home quickly.

Ayden removed his coat and shoes, and went back into the guest-room to play. Raven and Clarke looked at each other with worried looks, following him.

“Ayden?” Clarke asked, “What did you think of the schools?”

“They were cool” he shrugged, still playing.

“Is there one you would rather go?” Raven asked then.

“I don’t know” the boy said again, “both were fine”.

Clarke frowned again; it wasn’t like Ayden to have nothing to say. “You’re ok, buddy?”

“Is Lexa coming home soon?” He asked.

“Yes, I think so” Clarke answered.

Ayden sighed and got back to his games. Clarke and Raven let him play alone after that. Maybe he was just being moody. Raven was gone half an hour later, after Clarke had made her promise to call her soon for a massage session. Later, Monty had called Clarke, asking if Ayden would want to spend the night with everyone in Arcadia, as Tris was going to be there.

Tris was a 4 years old girl and Monty’s little cousin, who he was often baby-sitting. Ayden and Tris were good friends, and Octavia had said Ayden would stay with her and Bellamy and Lincoln in their flat for the night, so Clarke had agreed. Three adults to watch over her kid at night, she could accept that. Ayden had too, and now they were waiting for Lincoln and Octavia to come pick the boy up. 

Lexa was finally heading out of her building, glad she was about to come home. She wasn’t fully complaining though, because so far she hadn’t had any troubles with buying the Arcadia building and Nia hadn’t make a single move to protest or anything; which was cool. And also slightly worrying her, too.

Today, Gustus was to take her home; she had made someone do groceries for her, and she couldn’t carry everything by herself to her place on feet.

“Thanks Gustus” she said when she headed out of the car, picking her stuff up. She had made one of her assistants bought paint for the guest-room, and brushes and some canvas for Clarke too, to surprise them.

She opened her door, kind of surprised the loft was calm.

“Hey Lexa”, Clarke greeted her and then frowned, “What’s all this? Let me help you”. They put the stuff down, and Lexa removed her coat, not before stealing a quick hug from Clarke.

“Where’s Ayden?” Lexa asked, worried to not see him run towards her at full speed, “did your day go well?”

“Yeah, he is in the guest-room” Clarke said, “but I don’t know, he was kind of off today”.

Lexa hummed, removing her shoes.

“Hum, Lexa?” Clarke shyly asked.

“Yeah?” Lexa was looking curiously at Clarke; since the Blonde was suddenly acting shy.

“Were you serious? About making the guest-room into Ayden’s bedroom?” Clarke murmured, kind of afraid to hear the answer.

“Yes I was” Lexa frowned, “Was it too soon, or too much?”

Clarke quickly shook her head “No! No it’s perfect, but I... I didn’t think...”

“Clarke”, Lexa said, interrupting her and putting her arms around the Blonde’s body, “I was serious about everything. And since we agreed you both were to stay a little longer... It cannot hurt if he has his own room, right?”

Clarke hummed, lightly kissing Lexa’s neck. This made a shiver run all over the Brunette’s body, and she felt Clarke smile against her skin. Fortunately, Clarke was too buried in Lexa’s neck to see her blush furiously for because of her body’s reaction.

Then, they saw Ayden heading out of the guest-room. “Yexa, you’re home!” he said, smiling to her and coming towards her with his arms open. Lexa’s heart melted as she was picking him up.

“Hi there buddy, how was your day?” Lexa said, tickling him a little.

“It was ok, I went to visit two schools with Mommy and Rae” he answered.

“Oh, that’s cool!” Lexa then said. She was feeling like it wasn’t an easy topic to speak about with him, so she pointed the stuff she had bought with her fingers.

“Look Ayden, do you know what those big stuff are?” Lexa asked the boy.

“No?”

“This is some paint. For your room.” Lexa said with a smile on her lips, as she watched Ayden’s eyes widening.

“Awesome! Can we paint the walls now?” Ayden shrieked his good mood back.

Lexa laughed, and Clarke was stunned. Ayden had given her and Raven the cold shoulder all day, and Lexa was here for like, five minutes, and he had a beamed smile on his face already.

“We have to think about what to do first!” Lexa explained to the boy, carrying him in her arms to the guest-room, “because look. If we paint this wall in some colour, this wall has to stay white because...”

As Clarke was watching Lexa explaining everything to Ayden, she was picturing them five, ten, twenty years later, still together, talking about what colour to put on which walls. Ayden was completely absorbed in everything Lexa was saying to him, carefully listening to her. Clarke could see it; his eyes were watching Lexa’s every move. Then, the doorbell rang, and Lexa put Ayden down so he could go fetch his bag for the night, after making sure with Clarke that it had been planned and they were expecting people. Lexa didn’t want strangers to knock at her door, did she?

They opened the door for Octavia and Lincoln, lightly chatting while Ayden was getting ready. Before leaving, Ayden hugged Lexa’s legs one last time. “Yexa?”

“Yes?”

“If I go to school again, will you wait for me to get home to do things?” he asked with a tiny voice.

“What do you mean?” Lexa frowned.

“You will not do interesting stuff without me, will you?”

Lexa smiled. “I will be at work the whole time you’ll be at school. And we will do cool stuff when we will both be home, together with mom. Is that ok?”

Ayden had a beamed smile on his face again, melting everyone’s heart. “I think I prefer the second school. What do you think?” he asked her, stunning Clarke another time.

“Yes, the second school was definitely my favourite” Lexa nodded seriously.

Ayden smiled, and Clarke was surprised when he then turned around to hug her. “You agree, Mommy?”

“Yes, I agree. The walls have better colours in the second school” Clarke said, smiling at her son.

“Cool! We all agree!” He said, clapping his hands together, making Clarke, Lexa, Lincoln and Octavia laugh. He hugged his mother hard before taking Octavia’s hand.

They headed outside, and before getting into the car, he waved goodbye at Clarke and Lexa with a bright smile on his face.

“See you tomorrow, I love you Mommy! Bye Lexa, I love you too!” he yelled at them, shocking Lexa and Clarke at the same time. He closed the car’s door.

He was a smart kid, Ayden. He knew well what he had just said. He saw Lexa’s shocked expression, and saw the happy tears forming in them. He saw his mother’s tender look. He saw Lincoln and Octavia smiling to each other, too. And he was happy. The world was bright, and sunny and full of hope and happiness. Ayden was SO ready for this life.