Limo Arrivals
“Hello, I’m Louis Tomlinson and I am the bachelor.” A montage of his life began to roll across the screen as he narrated. Naturally, there were quite a few shirtless scenes. “I'm 25, from North Carolina - a cute little town called Hillsboro - and I teach high school choir to an amazing group of kids. Music is one of my biggest passions, behind my family. I have five younger sisters and one younger brother. With so many children around, I had a hand in raising some of the older ones and I can't wait to have a family of my own.
“To be completely honest I don't quite know how I ended up here. But I'm a big believer in fate and I truly believe that I'll find my soulmate through this experience.
“It's an honor to be the first bisexual bachelor but I don't want it to be a big deal. I'm so happy I have the opportunity to provide representation for so many people, but at the end of the day this is just another season of someone trying to find love.” That was the script. Well, the abridged version at least. Originally it wasn't even mentioned, but Louis was adamant that it truly was a big deal and finally got that bit in the script added.
He stood in the same spot where so many men and women had stood before him. It felt strangely monumental – not just because he was the first bi bachelor, but because he really, truly believed in the process. He’d watched the show growing up with his sisters, teasing them for getting so emotionally involved, but deep down he’d been even deeper down the rabbit hole, dreaming of the day he could participate. It wasn’t that he was naive about the process - it was all a scam! But he really felt like he’d meet his soulmate, no matter the outcomes of all the previous matchups. There had to be some reason all of these people were brought together. With all the romance in the air, however manufactured, it had to rub off at least a little.
That feeling wasn’t instant though. He’d done it as a joke with his sisters. He thought it was Lottie playing a prank when he got the callback. Then he had his live audition where he prolonged the joke, going as over the top mushy as he could bear and by the end of the five minutes was so into it that he forgot it was a joke. He may have accidentally slipped a few “he” pronouns into his monologue by accident and thought it was over. The moment they said he got the job he snapped back to reality and started puking. The producer, Caroline Watson, had talked to him for months to convince him he was right to do the show. She explained the historical importance of the season and even drove to his house one night he was particularly freaked. Just part of her job. It’s why she’s paid the big bucks.
Chris Harrison, the most pointless host in the world, walked up to him and patted him on the shoulder. “So, how are you feeling? Are you ready for the first limo?” Louis’ gut reaction was to make a snippy comment – it was what he’d grown up doing and Chris’ voice had Pavlov’ed its way into his brain. But he knew if he was going to be kept as the bachelor, he’d have to cooperate. He’d been given a strongly worded warning that they would not have another situation like Juan Pablo, and that they have no problem scrapping the idea and starting over with a new bachelor, his reputation ruined.
“As ready as I’ll ever be. Bring it on,” he said with a smirk.
As the first limo drove up the driveway and came to a stop just a few yards in front of him, he couldn’t help but hold his breath a little. (And also maybe pee his pants a little.) They’d told him much less about the setup of the show than he thought was fair. For all he knew, there could be 25 girls and this could be just another season of a trashy TV show that no one would remember in a month. Or, just maybe, this could be the start of something new.
The door opened and the first candidate stepped out. A man with fiery red messy hair in a simple black suit closed the door behind him and stretched his face into a gigantic grin. In just three easy strides he reached Louis and put his arms around him in the tightest hug he’d experienced since Daisy and Phoebe were young. It lasted a few beats too long to be a normal greeting of two strangers, but he went with it anyway. This show was going to be awkward no matter what. When the man released him, he was still smiling ear to ear.
“I’m Ed. I am so happy to be here – you are the most amazing man and I wouldn’t have shown up for anyone else.” He took a big breath as Louis opened his mouth to respond, but cut him off. “I hope to see more of you tonight.” And then he walked away.
Well that was the shortest and strangest introduction he’d ever been a part of. He hadn’t even gotten a chance to say a single word. But this was only the first person. The limo door started to open again before he could even catch his breath.
The next man was more professional looking: his suit sharp and well fitted, and hair brushed. But he was holding a bottle of tequila in one hand and shot glasses in the other. Louis started shaking his head through a smile.
“Hey!” the man yelled, as he walked forward.
“Hey! Whaddaya got there?”
“I’m Jeff, and I figured you might be just as nervous as me tonight, so I brought a little gift for the both of us.” He winked at Louis as he handed him the glasses and popped the bottle.
“I think this is just what I needed, Jeff. On three?” Jeff nodded in agreement and they counted together. “One… Two… Three!” They both drank them back and the rest of the night seemed to go a little better – not as scary, at least. The rest of that limo consisted of a man in a wedding dress (Calum, who Louis thought made one too many jokes that made his gender-confused heart flinch), an absolutely stunning man named Zayn who’d drawn a picture of the two of them making goofy faces at each other, and someone that referred to himself as “Grimmy,” which Louis thought was a bit strange, as he would never introduce himself to someone by a nickname that vaguely resembled the word “grimy,” but to each their own.
The next limo was ushered in and five women were introduced. The first was the tiniest person he’d ever seen. She introduced herself as Camila and stumbled over her words and feet, but it was cute. The next was a flight attendant named Lauren, who brought out a seatbelt and pretended to teach him the safety procedures, which Louis was 90% sure he’d seen on a previous season. Then Eleanor, who was soft spoken but seemed sweet and was calm, cool, and collected. Sophia was next, appearing in a stunning black gown. If Louis was completely honest, he didn’t hear a single word she’d said. He was all too focused on trying to breathe normally in front of such a gorgeous woman.
The last woman of that set was Jesy, wearing a short enough dress to see the perfect line of script running across her thigh. When she approached him, she took his hands in hers and quietly said, “Now I know the first introduction is always awkward. So I thought, why not get all the awkwardness out of the way on the spot? Should we go ahead and share our first kiss?”
Louis looked at her mildly startled, then cocked his head, “Why not?” They both leaned in for the gentlest, most innocent kiss, lasting all of a few seconds. It was not awkward at all. They smiled at each other before she walked into the mansion behind him.
The next limo had five more women. Ally, who was a tad too touchy for Louis’ taste. Leigh Anne, a pediatric nurse who’d brought a note from one of her patients and read it aloud, imitating the child’s voice as they’d written “my best friend Lee-lee.” Louis couldn’t help but be endeared by her obvious love for the child and passion for her work. Is it wrong he realized it reminded him of his mom?
Then there was Normani, who he had to calm down to speak to at all. Taylor stepped out next, tall and stunning she strutted up to him confidently and greeted him with a kiss on both cheeks. She left it at a sweet introduction and a promise to get to know him better. Then Dinah Jane. Oh, Dinah. She was one of those who had really done her research on him and let it be known, saying she knew they were meant for each other between every minor detail of his life. It was a tiny bit creepy in Louis’ opinion, but he tried not to let it show. The entire idea behind the show depended on the contestants’ creepiness, after all.
The next car was full of men again. Luke was too tall and too baby faced for him, but he internally swore to give him a chance. Greg made it very clear that he has a son and that son is the most important thing in his life. Liam took a deep breath and spoke too fast about how much this opportunity means to him. It was adorable. Ashton drove up in a motorcycle, but was rather boring when he started talking.
The final limo drove up and a man with bright green hair stepped out. Louis was unsure, to say the least. But when he opened his mouth, the questions slipped away. This man was definitely a no. He was trying to repeat that stunt from the bachelorette a few seasons ago immediately jumping to the fantasy suite. Because even though that was obviously a no-no for Desiree, because Louis is a bi man, that is obviously acceptable. Louis just stared at the key in the man’s hand.
“Are you serious? I can’t tell if you’re serious? I’m really hoping you’re not serious.”
“Um…”
“I’ll take that as a yes. I don’t know what you were expecting when you signed up for this, but it’s a no from me. I want you to leave right now.” Louis’ voice quivered a little, but he thought he held it together pretty well. He could feel Simon’s eyes lighting up from behind the camera at the thought of someone being sent home this early. He knew it’d make great commercials.
Michael closed his hand around the key and stepped back. It was reminiscent of the scene at the end of Gilmore Girls where Logan walks away from Rory. Except less emotional. Well still emotional, but just anger and annoyance.
Taylor, 28, Dental Hygienist, Wyomissing, PA “Oh. My. God. This is a game changer. He is obviously not playing by the rules of previous seasons. I knew this would be different but oh my God! Telling someone to leave right off the bat like that?! Wow…”
Zayn, 25, Comic Book Illustrator, Joplin, MO “I feel so bad for Louis. That was obviously really uncomfortable. Michael’s a dick. I would’ve kicked him off, too!”
Louis took a deep breath and tried to clear his mind from that tragic moment of his life. Both the present moment and when Logan left Rory - they were both pivotal moments in his life, the latter more so. The next person to step out of the limo was a blond man with spiky hair carrying a guitar. As he walked toward Louis slowly, he swung the guitar in front of him and began to sing.
“At first I was afraid, I was petrified - Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent so many nights thinking how you don't know me. How could it be? So I dropped my life to see if we could love in outer space! I just walked in to find you here with that hot suit upon your ass! I should have changed this stupid hair, and had a better melody. If I'd known for just one second you'd be here to date me. Go on now, go, don't slam the door! Just turn around now, 'Cause you're not alone anymore. I really hope that you won't hurt me with goodbye. Do you think I'd crumble? Did you think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I! We will surviveeeeee!”
By the end of the song Louis couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off of his face. It was like one of his students had written something for him. He couldn’t help be proud, but he couldn’t really tell why? Proud? What a strange emotional response to this particular situation.
“My name’s Niall, by the way.”
“Hello, Niall. That was incredible. Thank you so much. We will definitely get to know each other much better, I believe.” Niall smiled wider and gave him a big hug before walking into the mansion. He was definitely a contender.
Ed, 29, Bartender, Chicago, IL A little angry, “That was absolutely genius. I should’ve done that.”
Next, a woman in a long purple dress with a high slit cut into it stepped out from the limo. She was walking like she might already be a little buzzed, but she wasn’t sloppy exactly, just giggly. Very cute and sweet. Her name was Jade, and she was walking away as fast as she had appeared. Next was a woman named Perrie, who had done her hair to look like Princess Leia, and when asked about it, she said she just liked the way it looked and seemed festive.
Then a man with long legs wearing a ridiculous striped suit appeared with long curly locks. No, really - it was the most hideous suit Louis had ever seen and yet it was really fucking hot when he wore it. Louis was intrigued. He beamed as he walked up to him and grabbed his hands. They were cold but warm, which made absolutely no sense. What was Louis even thinking? Emotionally warm? That didn’t really make any sense at all. But this strange man was messing with his brain a little. He was chewing gum kind of obnoxiously, but it was almost attractive in a douchey way.
“Hello, I’m Harry.” he spoke in a calming, deep voice and took long strides with his hands pointed outward, dipping down with each step to create a goofy looking walk. “I think I’m the last one, so you’ve probably heard how great you are a million times by now, so instead of telling you that, I thought I’d keep this short and just say that you being you is inspiring. And I’m a big believer in fate, and I think that whether or not we hit it off, we’re both meant to be here. So I hope you find what you’re looking for in one of us over the next few weeks.” He finished with a sweet smile in the side of his mouth and pulled Louis in for a hug, whispering in his ear so the cameras couldn’t hear, “I hope it’s me you find though.”
Harry’s hair smelled like fresh fruit and Louis was enthralled. Maybe he should’ve been afraid of Harry. Soulmates was a big yikes to be talking about when you’ve only known each other for maybe a minute, but he was just really smooth. It felt sincere, and he’d found a way to not sound creepy at all. It felt comfortable, somehow - right. Harry pulled away and tried to take a step toward the mansion at the same time and tripped over Louis’ foot, making him stumble back into his arms. So Mr. Perfect here wasn’t so perfect after all. Then his dimples popped out as he blushed and apologized quietly as he looked at the ground. Louis scrunched his nose to keep from splitting his face open and squeezed his arm as he walked away. Something inside of him was telling him to back off. Like he was feeling Too Much for this stranger. But wasn’t that the point of this whole experience?
Nick “Grimmy”, 32, Radio Talk Show Host, Santa Monica, CA “Are you fucking kidding me? Is this soulmate shit really working? I could have spewed that shit too, but I figured a reasonable guy like him would puke or scream or run away at that. But now he’s all goo goo eyes?! Oh, It’s on, Styles.”
Dinah Jane, 23, Law Student, Charlottesville, VA “I really hope he was looking at me like that. I mean, I said the same kind of thing, right? I hope I made a better impression than that dude.”
Chris walked up to Louis and grabbed his shoulder again. (He’d been instructed to be at least as touchy as he normally is if not more so with Louis. Viewers can pick up on little clues and Simon didn’t want anyone to think Chris was at all uncomfortable with this season, even if he was.) “So how are you feeling about all of those wonderful ladies and gentlemen in there?”
“I’m overwhelmed to tell you the truth. I didn’t think I’d like more than one of them. This is going to be a lot harder than I thought.” He gave the usual answer and was excited to see everyone again. He didn’t want to have to deal with all of the formalities, but knew it was a necessity. The two of them walked into the mansion to where all of the contestants were greeting each other, some more kindly than others.
“Ooh, look who’s graced us with his presence!” Niall shouted, a bit too loudly as he was probably past the tipsy mark.
“Hello, ladies and gentlemen.” Chris nodded to Niall. “I think I’ll propose a toast then leave you all to your party.” He motioned to a glass of champagne that they had grabbed on the way in. “Here’s to Louis finding love in this incredible place, and to all of you - best of luck. Cheers!”
***
Ally, 22, Waitress, New York, NY “It’s important to maintain as much eye contact as possible. I need to really get the biggest impact for a short period of time that I can. There’s a lot of beautiful people here and I need to stand out.”
Ally was obviously trying to make as much eye contact as possible. Her eyes were huge and it was a little uncomfortable for Louis. She was nice enough, but there was nothing clicking exactly. Every touch seemed mechanical rather than natural.
“Sorry, do you think I could steal him away for a few minutes?” Greg walked up, trying to remain as small as possible to not disrupt them too much. This was going to be an awkward few weeks with 24 people dating one man, but if everyone was as respectful as Greg, it would be okay.
“Um… sure. I think I’ve had my fair share of him for the night.” Ally glanced at Louis one last time, probably hoping for a “don’t go!” or a first impression rose, but he just smiled back at her as she left.
“Hello, Greg!”
“You remembered my name! I’m very impressed!”
The night went on, Greg showing pictures of his son, which would have seemed like too much too soon, but Louis really appreciated how loving he sounded. He was really gushing over that little boy. It was refreshing. Many of the other people there did nothing but talk about Louis, which in small doses was great. No one likes talking about themselves more than Louis does, but it got to be too much. No matter how many times he changed the subject, there was always another person he’d need to steer away.
***
Louis relaxed back into the couch outside and tried to absorb everything Zayn was saying. Their hands were touching, but not completely intertwined. He was hypnotizing. Every word he said pierced Louis’ skin.
“...so I’m like, course I’m gonna spray paint the walls!” Louis couldn’t help but laugh. Zayn was the most down to earth, amazing, low-key hilarious, not to mention hot as fuck, person he’d ever met. It was just natural with him. He knew what he had to do.
“Would you mind waiting here a second?” He squeezed Zayn’s hands when he nodded and rose to step away.
When he returned, he had a red rose in hand. “Zayn, it’s been incredible meeting you tonight. You’re stunning and hilarious and I would love to get to know you more. Will you accept this rose?”
“Of course I will.” Zayn smiled up at him as he took the rose, then wrapped his arms around Louis’ neck for a comfortable, warm hug.
Zayn, 25, Comic Book Illustrator, Joplin, MO “Yeah. I mean obviously I’m so, so happy to have received the first impression rose. I’m just glad to have another day to get to know him. He’s really great.”
***
After talking to nearly all of the 23 remaining (minus Michael), it was time for the first rose ceremony. Louis had practiced his “Will you accept this rose?” voice, and his apologetic look for those he doesn’t select in the mirror (which was pretty difficult because he has a habit of unconsciously smiling when he delivers bad news), but he was more nervous than ever. How did he get himself into this situation? Who was he to reject people just like that - without more than a few moments of small talk? All of them seemed nice enough, and he could definitely grow to love a few of them, but how was he supposed to know which ones this early? He couldn’t make a mistake, even if it was just a stupid TV show.
Chris walked in the room behind Louis, “Are you all ready for this? I know it’s a tough decision for Louis, as you’re all really incredible.” Turning to Louis, “When you’re ready.”
“As Chris said, it’s been hard making these decisions. You’re all lovely people, but I’m just going to go with my gut here. From the bottom of my heart, thank you for all taking a chance on me.” He took a deep breath and picked up the first rose. “Niall.” Niall broke into a grin and skipped to the spot in front of Louis. He couldn’t help but match that grin. It’s infectious. “Niall, will you accept this rose?”
“I was hoping you’d ask.” Grabbing the rose, he pulled Louis into a tight hug and then walked back to his spot. The ceremony continued, everyone receiving their rose without incident. At the end, Ally, Calum, Lauren, Jeff, Luke, and Dinah were the ones who would leave.
Luke, 22, Tree Lover, Lexington, KY “I just feel like I really lost my shot. I didn’t get to talk to him for long at all. But I guess that’s that.”
Lauren, 25, Flight Attendant, Emporia, KS Crying, “...Hijo de su pinche madre! Vale verga! Rata de dos patas! …” Her face suddenly changes as she smiles into the camera and laughs. “You thought! I don’t give a fuck, my girlfriend is at home; we just wanted a third. I’ll be just fine.” That won’t be aired for sure.
Calum, 26, War Veteran, Austin, TX “I’m just… I wish this would have worked out. I feel like I’ve been looking for a relationship that could last for so long. And they just never work. I know I’m young, but when it happens over and over again, you start to lose hope. I just want to feel loved.” He shrugs sadly as the camera holds on him for a second too long.
Ally, 22, Waitress, New York, NY “I don’t have anything to say really. It didn’t work. That’s ok. I’m sure he’ll find his ‘One’ here somewhere. And hopefully mine is still out there.”
Dinah Jane, 23, Law Student, Charlottesville, VA “Yeah I’m bummed. I wish I could have even stayed one more week. Just to get a real shot. I’m not gonna make a scene, but I’m not gonna say it doesn’t hurt either.”
Jeff, 30, Real Estate Agent, San Francisco, CA “I’m not really heartbroken. I mean it sucks, but I tried. I didn’t even really get the chance to know Louis that well so I’ll be okay.”