Zombies!
Greg grinned as he walked into the living room of the mansion with an envelope in hand. “We have a date card!” Everyone’s heads turned excitedly from their conversations.
Perrie, 25, Elementary School Teacher, Jacksonville, FL “Ahh! The first date! There's so much pressure on whoever’s there. It can really make or break the season.”
Greg opened the envelope with anticipation in his eyes. “A group date!” He looks back down and reads the riddle. “We go together like rama lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong!”
Perrie started screaming. “Grease! Grease! Oh my God!”
Greg hurried to read the names, if only for Perrie’s sake. “Greg. Ahh me! Zayn. Ashton. Liam. Ed. Nick. Niall. Harry.” All of guys started whooping and hollering.
Jade, 23, Accountant, Annapolis, MD “If this was going to be an all guys’ season then why am I even here? I know Grease better than all of them. Whatever this date is, I'd have been da bomb.”
***
“Hello, boys! Well I hope you all got the Grease reference from the clue. That play, and movie, means a lot to me because it was my first real performance when I played Danny Zuko in high school.”
Harry, 23, Baker and Aspiring World Changer, Harpers Ferry, WV “Picturing baby Louis as Danny is a little bit too painful to handle… Him in those tiny little red shorts? Wow. I am thinking a lot of things.”
“So I thought today we could recreate the Greased Lightnin’ scene with our own music video. It's my favorite song from the movie and to perform and I thought it'd be fun to get all the guys together and be the T-Birds!” Niall looked like he could run a mile. He’s jumping up and down and his arms were above his head in the victory stance.
“Thank you for your enthusiasm, Niall. As I want to be in video, too, I thought it'd be best to have a third party here to direct.” He turned to the door of the large gym where they all stood as a middle aged woman entered. “I am so honored to introduce to you all Didi Conn, who played Frenchy in the movie!”
All of the men began clapping and Didi faked shock and gratefulness with a hand to her chest as she stopped in front of them all and took a little bow. “I am so excited to be here with all of you beautiful men but we'll just have to see if you're singers and dancers.
Zayn, 25, Comic Book Illustrator, Joplin, MO “I didn't sign up for this.”
Ed, 29, Bartender, Chicago, IL “I'm not gonna lie - I'm a pretty decent singer and I'm stoked to show Louis what I got.”
Of all of the boys, only Nick and Ashton hadn't seen the movie before. They all sat in front the costume rack huddled around a laptop to allow the two a chance to see the video. Niall and Harry used the opportunity for karaoke.
Only a few seconds into the video, Nick looked up at Louis, “Looks gay, I'm in!” After they'd had ample time to study the video, everyone was given a costume- leather jacket, white t-shirt, and jeans. Then they were sent to hair and makeup. Ashton tried to refuse to stay “manly” but was quickly denied.
Louis’ original idea behind the video had been to actually set roles for everyone, but the numbers didn’t quite work out, so he thought it’d be more fair to just have a pack of men singing alternating lines. He admired all of the slicked back looks and leather jackets and tried not to show any favoritism (but if he was honest, Ed looked kind of - ok, really - strange with that particular hair style).
They divvied up the lines of the song, and everyone practiced their parts as seriously as if it was an actual audition. There was singing all around, and some of them weren’t half bad!
Greg looked up from his lyric sheet. “Hey, I thought the line was ‘the chicks’ll cream’?” Niall started laughing hysterically.
Harry turned to them from the hair station, completely stone-faced, “Wait, I’ve always thought it was ‘the chicks agree’?”
“Have you people not had any schooling? It’s ‘the chicks’ll scream’!” Louis’ voice got higher, and he seemed mildly offended.
Greg, still contemplating any deeper meaning of the song, furrowed his eyebrows. “I guess that does make more sense.” Niall was still laughing, probably more out of nervousness than actual humor at this point. No one seemed to mind though.
Harry finished getting his hair done and walked towards the group. It was too long to just slick it back so the hair stylist put it in a low bun with lots of gel. He looked good. Really good. Louis tried not to stare. He couldn’t make any comments in a group setting or drama would start really quickly, so he just looked back down at a lyric sheet. Not that he needed it. “Ok! Are y’all ready to start?”
Niall decided he was going to be front and center. At one point he dropped to his knees for dramatic effect and ended up injuring himself in the act. Ashton fought him for the front man but failed. He didn’t know the words well enough and couldn’t get the dance moves quite right. Nick and Greg were all over the dancing, while Ed and Harry really nailed the growl. Zayn very much tried to fade into the background, and mostly succeeded.
Given that Louis had done this before, he should be fantastic. And he did not disappoint. The other men had trouble concentrating on their own parts. Even with Niall taking center stage, the others seemed to move around Louis like some sort of gravity. An Edward-Bella kind of movement.
When they finished recording they watched it back, complete with popcorn and a giant couch. Nick, Greg, Ashton, and Ed sat in front while the other five squished together comfortably, throwing popcorn at each other and laughing (well the former was mainly Louis and the latter, Niall).
As the video came to an end, Zayn patted Louis’ leg beside him and asked just above a whisper, “Do you think we could talk for a minute?”
“Of course, babe!” They both got up, untangling themselves from the other three and each other. There was already another area set up for just this purpose: a loveseat surrounded by flowering trees and plenty of throw pillows and blankets in case the night got chilly. “How are you feeling?” He asked as they got comfortable again, just as close.
“Okay. I just felt like I needed a few minutes to talk to you. I know I didn’t really stand out in that video… It’s not really my thing.”
“Not your thing?”
“I don’t really like the spotlight very much.” He hadn’t made eye contact once.
“And here you are on TV. What happened there?”
“My mom,” he chuckled. “She sent in the application, thinking I couldn’t find someone on my own. I decided to go through with it when I found out you were the bachelor this season. I thought I could fake it for you. It’s hard to fake a personality, did you know that?” A dark smile creeped its way onto his face.
“Well I’m flattered.” He lifted Zayn’s chin to meet his eyes. “I get it. Well maybe I don’t - I love being on camera.” They both laughed, leaning in closer to each other. “But I promise to never make you do anything else embarrassing ever again - at least on camera. And I do know a little about trying to fake it. I went a whole year after figuring out I was bi trying to act straight. I couldn’t do it - I’m pretty flamboyant, if you haven’t noticed - and my mom already knew, so I signed up for a musical and here we are.”
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
“I’ve been told a few times this week. Not that I believe it though.” Zayn leaned in even closer. It started innocently, Louis meeting his lips and moving his hand to the back of Zayn’s neck. He shifted, moving impossibly closer and lifting his leg to curl it around Louis’. They fit together perfectly, and they could have been there for hours before there was a thump close by and they sprang apart like shrapnel.
“Oh God, I didn’t mean to - sorry! I’ll just…” Niall started backing out of the area.
“Niall! Sorry, you can have him. I think... we’re done here.” He smiled back to Louis and squeezed his leg as he got up, almost missing Louis’ quiet whisper of “I knew there was a reason I gave you that rose.” They had A Moment while looking into each other’s eyes as Zayn left and Niall took his seat.
“Hey, Ni. Sorry about that. This is all a little… awkward.”
“Nah, don’t worry about it. I knew what I was gettin’ into.”
Louis looked at him, a little confused, “How are you so cool about this? No one else knows how to act. Including me!”
“I don’t know. I’ve never really been the jealous type. Everyone here is cool. You’d be lucky to end up with any one of them.”
“Not you? You’re not campaigning for yourself?”
Shocked, “Of course, I am! I don’t wanna come across ungrateful or uninterested. I am in this for however long you want me here. You… you’re incredible. I hope you know that. Watching you in that video - I realized just how much I want you, how much I want to be here.”
“You’re pretty incredible yourself. You even got hurt on the job! How’s your knee?”
“Ahh, it’s fine. It’s been a thing forever so don’t worry about it.”
***
“Do you think he’s kissed anyone yet?” Liam was patiently waiting for his turn with Louis.
Nick responded. “I don’t know. I mean except for Jesy the first night.”
Zayn, 25, Comic Book Illustrator, Joplin, MO “Pfft, I’m not telling anyone! Well okay, maybe I’d tell Liam, but if I tell all of them they’ll react badly and I don’t need that right now. I feel good. Whether or not I get the rose tonight, I feel like I’ve gotten the validation I need.”
Niall returned to the group and a few minutes later, Louis. “D’ya mind if I join, boys?” He smushed himself between Greg and Liam on a couch. Everyone eyed the rose sitting on a table in front of them, and Louis slowly picked it up. “I’ve had a great night getting to know each of you a little bit better.” He twirled the rose between his fingers steadily. “I’m going to give this to the person I feel like I’ve really seen blossom in that video today. He was energetic and up for anything, which is something I really admire in a person.” He took a deep breath and turned his head. “Niall, will you accept this rose?”
“I would be honored.” He reached over from his seat across from Louis and took the rose, his fingers lingering over Louis’.
Liam, 24, Firefighter, Beaufort, SC “You know what? It sucks! It really sucks. I know it’s early, but I just feel like I haven’t had any real time with him and there’s a real chance that I’m going home this week if I don’t force that time with him. I didn’t think this show would be so much work!”
***
“I just think… I mean have you ever seen such a hairy back? There's no way Louis is into that.” The other women looked at Jade and laughed. They probably just didn't want to accidentally become the drama girl of the season. Because who knows how much that gets exaggerated.
Jade, 23, Accountant, Annapolis, MD “I'm not crazy - I mean there's no way. It's disgusting! How are they not shouting about this too?”
Camila hopped into the room, “Someone has a date!” Everyone else turned in anticipation. The first one-on-one date is a huge honor. Camila opened the card slowly to build suspense. “Leigh Anne, Hollywood awaits… From, Louis” Leigh started squealing while everyone else tried to hide their bitterness.
A few hours later, Louis pulled up in a vintage convertible. He jumped out and greeted Leigh with a kiss on the cheek. They waved to everyone else as he pulled away.
“So, what are we doing?” Leigh turned to him after putting her chunky sunglasses on.
“Oh, so driving around with me isn’t enough?” He looked at her fake expectantly then immediately continued, “It’s a surprise!”
“You’ve got to be kidding me. I hate surprises please just tell me so I can mentally prepare! I don’t want to accidentally mess it up!”
“But that’s half the fun!” Just at that moment, just as they were really getting onto the highway, the car started making sputtering noises and Louis was forced to pull over. “Um… this isn’t what was planned. I mean vintage is just code for old so I don’t know why I wasn’t expecting this.” Meanwhile, Leigh could not stop laughing. “You know what? Fuck it!”
They ended up walking the rest of the way: a better idea in theory than in reality. The first few minutes were nice. They strolled down the road hand in hand. Then the exhaustion set in as they essentially climbed a mountain. The producers definitely seemed in on the joke- they definitely could have gotten another car… or a helicopter or private jet or hot air balloon or anything. But once they got to their final destination, it was all worth it. There was a picnic set up below the Hollywood sign, and because of the delay in arrival, they made it just in time for sunset. It was gorgeous, and they were hysterical after the walk. The two of them sat on the blanket laid out and opened the basket. Louis pulled out the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket and poured both of them a glass. He toasted simply, “to us,” and they drank.
Leigh pulled out the food prepared for them and leaned into his side as they got comfortable. “How are you feeling about all of this?” She asked quietly.
“I don’t really know. This is the craziest thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t really even know how I got here. One day I was helping take care of my new baby siblings and the next I’m sorting people into ‘yes’ and ‘no’ piles. This is just… big, you know?”
“Aw, you have baby siblings?”
His quiet voice turned chipper. He never turned down an opportunity to gush about babies. “Yes! Six, in fact. The newest twins are by my new step-dad.”
“I don’t mean to intrude, but what’s the story there?”
“Oh, no problem! Well my biological father disappeared pretty soon after I was born. My mom remarried and I was adopted by the man I call ‘dad’ now. I got four new siblings and helped raise them, as my mom kept working full time and she and my dad ended up getting a divorce. They just fell out of love, I guess. And then she found my step-dad and they are the happiest couple I’ve ever seen.” He paused for a moment, but without a response, he continued quietly, “I think I just wanted to find my own version of that.”
She smiled at his little confession. Even in this impossible situation - sitting in front of the Hollywood sign with a beautiful woman and being the bachelor on a ridiculous tv show - he felt comfortable. Maybe it was Leigh. Or maybe he just somehow knew that he’d find the one here. That they were close and it was finally happening for him - what he'd been waiting for his entire life.
***
The remaining women climbed into a limo at 9 o'clock that night prompted by another note from Louis. All it had said was “Shoot an arrow through my heart,” so no one really knew what they were getting into.
They pulled up to an abandoned warehouse and the car came to a stop.
“Um… are we at the right place?” Taylor tried to peek out the window, looking for any sign of life. Or Louis.
Just then something hit the side of the car and shook it violently. All but Sophia and Jesy screamed.
Another hit from the other side and more screams. There was a figure running around the car.
Taylor started screaming and shaking, wiggling trying to get away from something. “There’s something on my foot! It’s grabbing me! Make it stop! Make it stop!”
“Oh my God, Taylor.” A voice said from underneath the seat, laughing as he crawled out, revealing himself as Louis. “I’m sorry, but that was hilarious. You were so scared!”
Taylor was not as amused as Louis or the other girls. She rolled her eyes, but accepted a hug from Louis after he escaped.
“Were you hiding under there the entire time?” Jade looked a little nervous as she tried to remember if she’d said anything embarrassing during the ride.
"Well, yeah. But don't worry! Y'all were cute!" They all climbed out of the car slowly and were huddled outside when Chris Harrison walked up.
"Hello ladies, Louis."
In unison, "Hi, Chris."
"Tonight all of you are going to make your way through a haunted paintball course."
Sophia, 26, Model, Los Angeles, CA "This is my kind of night!"
"You'll be split up into groups and make your way through these buildings behind me. There are lots of people waiting inside for you and you are to shoot them and get through. There are clues hidden throughout to lead you to the location of the cocktail party. You should not shoot each other under any circumstances, only the bad guys. The groups may cooperate with each other, but the last group to find the party has to go back to the house immediately, giving up the remaining time tonight. Whichever group Louis is in does not automatically win. If his group is last, those in his group will have to return to the house. Are you ready?"
Camila, 22, Grad Student, Atlanta, GA Her mouth had dropped open and she was darting her eyes back and forth. “I’m already gonna have to run around crazy and if I don’t win I don’t even get to see Louis?!? What the fuck?!”
Everyone grabbed a paintball gun and chose groups. Taylor, Sophia, and Eleanor ended up in one group, Camila, Jade, and Perrie in another, and Jesy, Normani, and Louis in the final one. He was silently fought over of course, but they all played it cool enough.
Each group chose to enter a different building. The first building was a huge warehouse with giant crates creating a maze. Taylor and Sophia were the badasses of their group, shooting everything in their path. With Eleanor following and calling out directions, they made it to the first clue pretty quickly.
She read, "'One of these is not like the other.' Well that's really fucking helpful. What is that telling us? Okay, let's just keep moving, maybe it’ll become clear." Sophia shot another zombie.
***
Camila was a screamer. But a surprisingly effective one. She kept her eyes closed with each shot and somehow hit each target. Their building was also a huge warehouse, but it was disturbingly empty. There was junk lining the walls so the bad guys could hide, but it was dark enough that the girls couldn't see past a few feet in front of them. Jade didn't know what was happening at all. She just stayed quiet, not noticing any target before Camila got it. With Perrie giggling with each step and shooting an appropriate amount of guys with chainsaws, they found a clue. (This one more helpful than the last.)
Jade picked it up. "You are not in the place where it is."
"So I guess we... just... leave?"
Perrie took the note from her and stuffed it in her pocket. "I think it means there's nothing else here. We should walk to the next building."
Camila took the lead and hit a ghost with the butt of her gun in panic before realizing that nothing is real. "Holy shit, oh my god, are you okay?" The ghost reached for her with a groan and she screamed again and shot it in close range. She yelled, "Sorry!" as she ran away towards the door. Jade and Perrie were giggling nervously as they followed her lead.
***
The final group was in something that looked more like a house on the inside. There were rooms filled with old creepy dolls, and rooms with nothing at all. They made their way with Louis scaring each of the girls as much as he possibly could, and added nothing helpful to the process. Jesy was trying her best and looked legit, but kept aiming and missing horribly. Luckily, Normani was amazing and after shooting a doctor covered in blood, she found a note attached to his back that read, "I know where to go.”
“Wait, were we not supposed to kill him? How were we supposed to know that?”
“Dammit, Mani!” Louis teased through a laugh.
“Well if neither of you are gonna take this seriously, I guess I have to. If he’s supposed to have known, it has to be clear directions from here, so keep looking around the room for any other clue or trap door or anything.” Louis took a seat on a crate and let the others do the searching.
***
The other two groups bumped into each other outside, with Camila almost shooting Taylor. She apologized by giving up their clue. They figured out the right building and went inside. A wall of zombies approached them and were getting slaughtered until Jade yelled out, “Stop! There’s a clue on their backs!”
Perrie knocked them off guard by running at them and was able to grab a clue. She ran back to the group screaming and jumping like she had found a spider in her hair and threw the clue at Jade.
“‘I know where to go.’” She looked up at the zombies and started talking to them like they were toddlers. “Can we follow you? Are you going to help us?”
One of them nodded and grunted and they all turned around and led them through the house. Louis’ group was making a lot of noise in one of the rooms and saw the zombies leading the group.
Jesy yelled, “Normani, follow them instead!” The second she’d said it, the zombies started running at full speed.
“Shit! It’s a race!” Taylor was the fastest but Perrie was right behind her. They were led through cobwebs and over mounds of dirt and down steps and up a ladder and a whole lot of other things. Eleanor fell behind the rest of the group and fucked the chances for her team.
It was a long sprint to the finish though. They were in a ridiculously long underground hallway lined with flashing red lights. As they got closer, they could make out Chris Harrison, shouting “Your entire team needs to cross the finish line to win!”
The women and Louis made it to the finish line roughly in a clump. They were in a cool hangout spot in the basement, set up with food (lots of pizza and beer) and bean bag chairs and fairy lights and a fireplace. “I’m sorry girls, but you’ll have to say goodbye to Louis. Eleanor, Taylor, and Sophia, you have to return to the mansion.”
Taylor, 28, Dental Hygienist, Wyomissing, PA “Listen, I am not about to lose another opportunity with Louis because of someone else. If I fail, it’s going to be because of me. I’m not playing nice anymore.”
After the losers and Chris had left, the remaining girls and Louis spent quite a while as a group getting to know each other. They all heard about Perrie’s dogs and Camila’s music addiction. It was a nice bonding session, but of course that’s not good TV.
Caroline threw a chip at Jesy to get her attention without disturbing the others. When she caught her eye, she motioned to Louis and tried to charades her way to a rose and kissing and something no one could have possibly understood, but Jesy got the point.
She held up a finger to Caroline, (One minute!) then pointed to Normani talking.
Caroline shook her head with a stern look on her face and pointed to her empty watch hand while mouthing “now or never.” As if on purpose, she shifted her weight to the other foot, so the intern prepping the group date rose was in plain view.
“Hey Louis, sorry to interrupt; do you think I could borrow you for a minute?”
“Sure, darling.” Caroline smiled to herself and used the cameras to escort them to the prepared one on one room.
Once they were out of earshot, “That was so much fun tonight.”
“I thought so too! I’m glad these group dates aren’t too awkward. Yet, at least. I thought our team was kind of badass.”
“If only Normani hadn’t fucked it up, we could’ve won by a long shot.”
“Yeah, she’s gotta go home for sure. I can’t have that kind of negligence around.” He smiled, joking of course. They continued to talk, banter, gossip, and laugh, but the more they did, the more he began to realize there were no more than feelings there.
A knock on the door. Camila peaked her head in, clearly drunk. “Hiiiiii can I join?”
Jesy stood up, “Sure, I’ll give you two some privacy.”
Jesy, 26, Photographer, Washington, DC “I think we had a really good talk! He’s just so wonderful. So kind and present and,” her eyes got huge, “beautiful! You can never be sure here but I’m about as sure as I can be that I’ll get a rose this week. And with any luck, that will be the rose just in the other room!”
Before the door was even closed, Camila started talking. “Louis, you’re just so fucking hot. We know how this is gonna end up. Just let the others go. It’s us standing here at the end.” With that, she lunged forward for a kiss, but Louis swerved and hugged her instead. She was wasted enough not to notice.
Camila, 22, Grad Student, Atlanta, GA “See you fuckers next week!” From behind the camera, “You haven’t gotten a rose yet, you know that right?” “What?”
***
“So Perrie, how’d you end up here?”
“The typical answer: I had a shitty ex who said nasty things about me and I want to get over the whole meeting people thing and just get to the good part already so this seemed fun.”
Louis scrunched up his mouth and furrowed his eyebrows. “I don’t know how typical that answer really is.” He started to smile but she remained serious.
“Maybe, but it’s not a joke though. I really had a tough time after him and I’m ready to dive back in and just make this one last. And I’m pretty damn sure you’re not as shitty as him so I’m good there.”
“Thanks for the confidence!”
***
Chris walks in the main room where everyone has gathered, with a rose in hand. “Don’t mind me, I’m just going to put this right here.” He placed it on the table and backed out of the room.
Louis was the first to speak up. “Well that’s a buzzkill.” All the women laughed nervously. “I guess I should just get this over with.” He picked up the rose and inched forward in his seat. “I want to give this rose to the person that I feel I really got to know better, in the game and in her head. Perrie, will you accept this rose?”
“Absolutely. Thank you.”
***
Eleanor, 26, Stylist, Salt Lake City, UT “I really need to step up my game. I’ve barely said a word to Louis all week. If I don’t get a chance to really imprint my face in his brain tonight, I’m going home To-Night. And that just wouldn’t be fair. I deserve a chance just like everyone else.”
Everyone gathered in the living room of the mansion before beginning to get ready for the cocktail party when Chris walked in. “Hello ladies, how is everyone doing?”
Unanimous mumbling. His announcements usually were not good news.
“I have a message from Louis - he’s already made his decision for tonight and wants to skip the party and head straight into the rose ceremony. That means you will not get another chance to talk to him before possibly going home. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
Eleanor, 26, Stylist, Salt Lake City, UT “What the fuck?!?!”
***
All of the contestants were standing on one side of the ceremony room when Louis walked in to stand beside the table covered in roses. “Hey, guys. Sorry about the change in plans. I just - I’d already made my decision and talking to any of you any more would just make it harder. None of you deserve to have this dragged out like that. And I don’t think I do either. So, I guess we should get started then…”
A helpful recap: Perrie, Niall, and Leigh Anne all already have roses. The remaining competitors are Ed, Nick, Harry, Zayn, Ashton, Liam, Greg, Eleanor, Normani, Camila, Jade, Jesy, Taylor, and Sophia.
Louis picked up a rose and took a deep breath. “Liam.”
Liam wiped his face with his hand (of relief, not tears), and approached him.
“Liam, will you accept this rose?”
“Yes.” And they hugged and he returned to his spot and the cycle began again.
“Jade… Taylor… Nick… Harry… Greg… Normani… Sophia… Zayn… Eleanor.”
So that was it. Jesy, Ashton, Camila, and Ed were going home. Jesy started crying quietly the second she realized and moved quickly to say goodbye to the others then hug Louis and make her way out before she got too embarrassing.
A camera followed her on the way out. “I just really thought I had something here.” Sniffle. “I wasn’t idiotic enough to really believe I was going to make it to the end, but couldn’t I have lasted just a week longer? Am I really that repulsive?” Her tears sped up and she couldn’t help the gasps any more.
Louis was alerted of the drama and excused himself from the toast happening inside. He found Jesy stepping into her limo. “Wait a second, can we talk really quickly?”
She continued to hide her face but didn’t move forward into the vehicle any further.
“I’m so sorry. It’s truly nothing against you. I just didn’t feel that spark, you know? It happens to everyone! You are an amazing person. And under normal circumstances we could be best friends.” He chuckled solemnly and paused for any sort of response. When none came, he put his hand gently on her shoulder. She immediately pulled away from the contact and started gasping in tears again.
“Sorry, I just - I have to go.”