Lost And Insecure!

Lost And Insecure!

Lexa was already wishing she had said no to the party, she could already feel her nerves building at being around so many people in such a small amount of space. Her hands were clammy and her mind began to race. She still got looks  at school, she still heard sniggers when she walked past about her clothing, or how her hair was tied back or hanging loose, how her make up was done or about her terrible combat boots. It never stopped hurting the brunette how she became such a easy target for people to pick at to make themselves feel better. 

"You ready?" Clarke questioned entering the bedroom bopping her head to the music that was blasting through the room. 

"I guess" Lexa said nervously pulling at her sleeves of her jumper. Clarke had said casual wear as it was just a small group gathering at Bellamy's, and that's exactly what the brunette went for with her black ripped jean's combat boot's and black and red chequered shirt. 

"Hey" Clarke said softly noticing lexa's nerves kicking in "Roll these up" She smiled beginning to roll Lexa's sleeves up stopping at her elbow "Nice bracelet's" Clarke adds noticing half a dozen leather bracelet's wrapped around Lexa's wrist that were hiding under the shirt. 

"Thank's" Lexa smiles, letting her arms drop to her side. 

"Dont be nervous, it's just some of my friends i’ll be with you all night" Clarke tries reassuring the brunette, not feeling the brunette relax one bit. 

Lexa remained quiet twitching her lips to the side. Clarke's friends was the reason she was nervous they were the most popular in school not that Lexa cared about being popular because she didnt she quite likes just sitting with Costia in a corner on the field with only one set of eyes watching her and only one pair of ears listening to her. She liked one on one, a group just made her nervous, but these were Clarke's friends.

"Come on" Clarke smirked pulling at the brunette's arms in to the middle of the room before turning the music up even louder. Lexa stood there confused at Clarke's continued smile wondering what she was about to do.  "Dance!!" Clarke shouted over the music. Lexa stood there with her arms crossed becoming self concious and more nervous, but that didn't stop Clarke as she started dancing to the beat bopping her hip to the beat and jumping up and down. 

"Shout out to my ex!!! Your really quite the man" Clarke shouted from the top of her lungs with the biggest smile plastered on her face continuing to move her hips to the beat "You made my heart break and that  made me who i am!!" Clarke struggled not to giggle as she could see Lexa watching her with a big grin. "Come on!" Clarke shouted pulling at the brunette's arms before she could object. 

"Move your feet" Clarke ordered "Trust me, it will relax you" 

Lexa allowed her smile to grow as Clarke gripped her hands tightly moving her around the room without asking. The music was almost vibrating the room from the volume of the song, neither girls could hear one another laugh when Clarke would take a twirl pulling lexa in to her close and pushing her out to twirl. Lexa's feet started moving willingly dancing just as silly as Clarke was and Lexa stopped caring without knowing. They danced silly and clumsy together without a care in the world and lexa laughed alot, her smile never faulted and she forgot her worries as Clarke smiled just as wide giggling herself as she tried doing the robot earning a loud giggle from Lexa, but that only encouraged Clarke more wanting to never stop seeing that smile. 

"See" Clarke grinned as the song came to a end "Dance is the hidden language of the soul" Clarke smile's softly meaning every word dance was a escape for the blonde.

"You’re a good dancer" Lexa says honestly 

"Thank you" Clarke giggles "You're dancing with me later by the way"

"I can't dance" Lexa says more nervously as the song changes on her iPod. Lexa watches the smile grow on Clarke's face once more before feeling her hand on her own gripping it tightly and pulling her closer. 

"Do what i showed you last time" Clarke whispered moving her hands to Lexa’s' hips like she gripped them at the last party. "Move your hips side to side" She guided softly gripping her hands tightly to her hip guiding her with the song. 

Lexa allowed Clarke to guide her hip's helping her with the beat her gaze remained fixed between them unable to look up in to blue. When they first danced together last week Lexa had been unable to get it out of her head, how Clarke would be so gentle with her and so tender with her word's. Clarke moulded there bodies together at Costia's party helping Lexa's movement to just follow Clarke's with the beat but lexa didn't fail to miss how her body temperature fired up and her finger's tingled with excitement. 
"see" Clarke whispered "You’re dancing" She smiled slowly releasing Lexa's hips watching them move alone. Clarke took a few steps with a smile plastered on her face watching Lexa move her hips and feet to the song.

The blonde took her lip between her teeth unaware of her own actions all she could think about was dancing against lexa as she swayed her hips side to side, she wanted to grab her close, impossibly close and grind against the brunette, she wanted to feel the heat under her fingertips from Lexa's skin, and her breath on her face, she wanted to feel everything and anything from Lexa. Clarke wanted to dance like she never danced before show every move she had as the music guided her entire body till it came alive and on fire. Instead she smiled at the brunette and allowed her to have her own moment encouraging her to carry on as her confidence grew in front of Clarke. Clarke just fort the urge to reach out and hold the girl close and dance with her, she fort the urge at reaching out and kissing the girl like she almost did a week ago, she fort the urge to confess to lexa that she was making her question everything and that is all Clarke seemed to be finding herself doing lately, She fort against every urge she had for Lexa because she was scared. 

//

Clarke stood by her promise and stayed by Lexa's side introduced her friends to  Lexa officially and properly and Lexa found herself struggling to keep her head up and meet their eyes she felt like she was being judged and looked down by the small group, even if she wasn't. She felt like they didn't want her here, she was just tagging along with the blonde and they just had to deal with it. The brunette's hands began nervously playing with the end of her shirt as she scanned the place for the first time. The music was playing loudly from the front room, drinks were lined up on the kitchen counter from what Lexa could see, and there seemed to be a few people wondering outside to the garden, although she didn't know what was out there yet.
"Nervous?" Clarke questioned grasping Lexa's hand to stop the fiddling. Lexa could only smile slightly before it disappeared, her heart was pounding, her palms were sweaty and Clarke was just looking at her with the softest eye's as if trying to send her a message that she would be ok, she would look after her. 
"Do we need to dance already?" Clarke teased raising an eyebrow. Lexa shook her head with a smile on her face thinking about there little dance routine only a hour ago. 
"Then breathe or you wont be standing for much longer" Clarke smirked "It's just a few friends nothing huge, you will love it trust me" 

"Ok" Lexa smiled taking breaths finally. 

"Ahhh New Girls here!!" Jasper shouted entering the kitchen already intoxicated by alcohol as he raised his drink. "Where's the leather pants?" He questioned taking a sip from his drink looking lexa up and down as he walked closer. 

"Jasper!" Clarke snapped rolling his eyes "ignore him" Clarke pleads shaking her head. 

"What?" He questioned with a grin "Just saying, she looked HOT in those babies!" 

Lexa immediately went bright red dropping her gaze she felt embarrassed and surprised at the same time, embarrassed by the comment yet surprised that someone in Clarke's group remembered who she was without having Clarke introduce who she was properly. The blonde  released lexa's hand bringing it to Jasper's arm with a sharp force.

"Owh!" He groaned clutching his arm "What was that for?" he questioned rubbing his arm 

"You’re such a dick!" Clarke snapped 

"For saying she looked good?"Jasper questioned confused still rubbing his arm "Just stating the truth her legs, wow!" He smirked looking at the shifty brunette in front of him. "Im Jasper" he smiled holding his hand out to the brunette. 

"Lexa" She introduced herself taking his hand in her own. 

"Nice to meet you lexa" he smiles politely calming himself down after noticing her nerves and Clarke couldn't be more grateful. "Come on let's introduce you to the main bunch" he smile's urging her to follow. She looked to Clarke quickly for reassurance only to find the blue eye'd blonde smiling back with a nod, with that Lexa followed nervously behind jasper, and Clarke behind Lexa as they made their way outside. 


As Lexa is lead towards a small group in the corner of the garden she already notices the familiar faces of the people who hang around with Clarke. The people she would walk class to class with, the people she would pass in the corridor and Clarke's boyfriend. She notices them laugh and joke unaware of her presence and it make's her that little bit more nervous, well that is until She feel's Clarke's hand slide in to her's once more giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

"Like seriously, thing's like that bother me!" Raven announced taking a swig of her drink while Bellamy just laughs at her shaking his head.

"What's bothering you now?" Clarke questioned. The group all look up becoming aware of there presence, smile's all forming on their faces.

"Clarke!!" Octavia beamed jumping up andSnaking her arms around Clarke's neck.  "You’re late misses" She point's her finger naughtily with a grin on her face. 

"I like to make a entrance" Clarke smirks before squeezing Lexa's hand once more letting her know it's going to be ok once more.  "So what's bothering raven this time?" Clarke questioned to curious not to ask again. 

"She’s just being stupid" Bellamy announces finally standing up and walking over to the blonde “again”

"No im not" Raven scoff's "It's a serious question actually, didn't see you answering it" she said matter of factly. 

"Anyone going to tell me or?" Clarke questioned still waiting. 

"If a smurf was to choke what colour would they go?" Raven questioned seriously as Bellamy shook his head once more with a slight laugh. Clarke giggled hearing the seriousness of Raven's voice knowing she wasn't joking one bit. 

"Told you" Bellamy pointed "idiot" He laughed. 

"Shut up" Raven snapped taking her drink once more. "Hi lexa" Raven added quickly acknowledging the brunette.

"Hi" Lexa said letting the nerves quickly get the better of her not expecting the quick introduction. 

"Come sit with me" Raven patted the chair beside her. 

"Oh i should warn you" Clarke smirked looking to raven and back to lexa "she is a little crazy, she talks to herself" Clarke teased. 

"I have to talk to myself actually because sometimes i need expert advice, and hanging with these idiot's just don't cut it" Raven piped up with a big smirk on her face still tapping the chair next to her "Sit" she ordered. Lexa released Clarke's hand nervously unwillingly as she was pulled forward by the Spanish brunette pushing her in the seat next to her. 

"Ah yes, with all those smurf questions bothering that brain of yours" Clarke mocked taking a seat opposite raven and Lexa. The blonde quickly diverted her gaze to Lexa giving her a soft reassuring smile making sure she was ok. 

"MEH MEH MEH" raven mocked having nothing left to say.

"Anyway, welcome to the group of idiots" Clarke laughed Looking at her friend's "This is Bellamy, he's the snugly bear! so when you need a cuddle his your man!" Clarke smiled pointing at Bellamy as he nodded his head at lexa "This is Octavia, she is super hyper and giddy, up for anything so don't challenge her for god sake!" Clarke laughed as Octavia took it all as a compliment 

"Hi" Octavia smiled 

"This is Roan" Clarke continued pointing to her left "He is the charmer he will try anything to get in your pants don't let his face fool you" Clarke teased hoping lexa wouldn't allow that anyway. 

"My lady" Roan joked causing Lexa to smile 

"Jasper and raven are the genius's... Raven will come out with the weirdest thing's she cant hold her mouth, and she don't think before she speaks so ignore her, same with Jasper as you have already noticed with the trouser comment!" Clarke smiled softly "But their the best" 

"We really are" Raven added. Lexa could only laugh once more allowing the nerves to slowly fall away at the welcoming. 

"And this is fin" Clarke smiled softly at the boy at the end of the table, a smile lexa could only notice as a sad one, and Lexa wondered why. "His the heart of the group" she smiled looking at him with so much care "He can bring you up when you’re feeling down in a second, his loyal and protective of us all" She turned her gaze away from him looking back at lexa who was unable to tear her gaze from blue. 

"This is my little family" Clarke admitted "You will love either love them, or hate them" She finally spoke leaning back in her chair. 

"Here here" The group cheered taking a swig of there drink's once more. 

"You not drinking?" Raven questioned noticing her empty hand. 

"i don drink" Lexa said innocently. "Ive never tried" She admitted looking at all the shocked face's watch her accept for Clarke that is who only continued to smile at her sending her the continued comfort she needed to feel like she was going to be ok.

"wow, you have to try it, like seriously, Bellamy get the girl a drink!" Raven ordered 

"She don't have to drink if she don't want to" Clarke interrupted quickly giving a reassuring smile to the brunette. "Only drink if you want to" 

The silence lingered for a moment as the group seem to accept this, they had already notice Lexa was nervous not only right now but at school walking around, in class and even on the field when they could see her she always looked like she was ready to vomit or scream when someone would start a conversation with her, other than Clarke or Costia that is, so the group allowed it not wanting to push, Clarke had already spoken to raven at school about Lexa and how shy she was, so she understood to calm down a little too.

"One can't hurt. Can it?" Lexa questioned quietly. 

"One should be fine" Clarke reassured "let's go look what you want to drink shall we" 

The brunette stood and Followed Clarke's lead back in to the house and back in to the kitchen where Lexa let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding. 
"You’re doing good" Clarke admitted 

"They seem, nice" Lexa admitted not expecting them to be how they were, when she sat with them she didn't feel like they had all eye's on her, judging her and making snigger's when she wasn't looking they seemed genuine and not as hyper as costia explained them to be, especially raven. 

"They are.. idiot's sometime's.. but nice" Clarke laughed looking at the liquor on the table "So we have beer, tequila, vodka, or rum" 

"What one do you think i should drink?" Lexa asked not sure which one to pick but knowing the blonde would know them all. 

"I would say beer, but that's not that nice, tequila can be a bit of a hardcore drink and so can rum, well so can vodka but out of all of them, i would have to say vodka" Clarke admitted "Ill make you one up with lemonade and make it weak so that you don't taste it to much ok?" 

"Ok" Lexa said twitching her lip while crossing her arm's across her chest, she was nervous, very nervous she had never had a drink before and now she was about to do it with strangers. As much as Lexa didn't want to admit it the fact that Clarke was here with her made her more confident in trying the alcohol, she knew that the blonde would look after her without her even needing to confirm it, yet she didn't no why and didn't care to know. Everything about Clarke calmed and relaxed the brunette, she wasn't sure if it was the reassuring smile, or just the blue eye's that would make her pause for a moment, or it could just be the simple fact that Clarke has done nothing but care for Lexa since meeting her, she soothed her when she had nightmare's, she protected her against the bully in front of everyone and now she is introducing her to her 'family' with the beaming smile constantly fixated on Lexa. Her heart would warm every time and her finger's would begin to tingle, She had never had tingally fingers before she met Clarke and she wasn't even sure what it was, but it felt good and Clarke seemed to be always around when it happened. 

"There" Clarke smiled turning around to face the brunette "Try that make sure it's not to strong" Clarke watched Lexa take a small swig from the glass not seeing ay part of her face crease up she took it as a good sign "like it?" She questioned. 

"Just taste like lemonade" Lexa admitted taking another swig 

"please remember it's not just lemonade" Clarke giggled "Dont want you drinking it like juice now do we" the blonde continued to smile and lexa smiled back like it was contagious. 
Green met blue and Lexa's smile seemed to be on pause while looking at the blonde and she truly felt like she was going to have fun tonight, as long as Clarke was by her side. 

"Come on" Clarke smiled taking lexa's hand in her own and guiding her back to the group. 

///

The more Clarke watched Lexa the more she believed there were wrecking ball's in her brain messing with everything she thought she knew. Clarke found herself unable to tear her gaze away from the brunette, the more she drank she felt protective, the more she smiled Clarke could feel her body feel lighter and warm smiling with her and Clarke let her heart flutter every time she could see Lexa fiddling with the hem of her own top from being so nervous. Only Lexa had become more confident the more intoxicated she became, she hadn't drank alot but considering it was her first time it was more than enough. Lexa was still shy yet a small amount of confident seem to boom of her around this small group every now and again through conversation and Clarke allowed her heart to flutter willingly while watching Lexa engrossed in a conversation with Raven. Clarke with the cup to her lip's a smile hidden behind it as her eye's traced down Lexa's strong jaw bone, she watched Lexa's dimple's appear as she smiled widely at something Raven said and her heart fluttered for the hundredth time that night just like that. 

"You couldn't be more obvious if you tried" Octavia spoke quietly. Clarke quickly snapped her gaze away not aware she had been staring for so long "And don't even try acting like you don't know what im talking about, you been starring at her for twenty minutes flat." Clarke looked up to her best friend there was no judgement there, the blonde looked to the rest of the group all engrossed in conversation with one another to hear there conversation. 

"You like her?" Octavia questioned looking to Lexa herself

"I don't know" Clarke said honestly. "I just..." Clarke paused trying to find the correct word's to place it, to place the correct word that would describe the way Lexa would make her feel just by being around her "There's just something there" Clarke admitted "I can't explain it"

"Are you in to girls now then?" Octavia questioned taking a swig of her own drink before looking to Fin talking to Bellamy. "Is that why you ended things? You never did say why?" Clarke released a breath looking to her ex boyfriend herself, fin caught her gaze for a second and gave her a soft smile before continuing his conversation. She could still see the hurt in his eyes every time he looked at her, she hated it more than anything as he was just nice. 

"I don't know, maybe" Clarke admitted trying to come to terms herself with what this all meant. "She just draws me in you know?" Octavia took Clarke in, she took in how her blue eyes would drift to Lexa automatically, she watched her smile when ever Lexa would laugh or smile herself. Octavia knew the feeling to well she was drawn to Lincoln, Costia's brother but he was a little older and never gave her the time of day to actually be able to get to one another, that didn't stop the constant pull she felt toward's him. 

"Sometime's you just need to stop thinking about what it could be, what it can't be and just let it be what ever it becomes" Octavia admitted "Sometime's the heart want's what it want's, there doesn't have to be reason's. Somethings are just there" Octavia expressed looking to Clarke then to Lexa once more. "Dont think about it, and just go with it" 
Clarke broke in to a soft smile listening to Octavia's words maybe she was right, all this thinking about what's going on, what's happening and how she is feeling was just fucking with her head. 

This was Lexa though, the girl who is already broken, the girl who is already shy, scared and timid. That was what was holding her back from exploring to the level she would like. She didn't want to hurt or scare Lexa any more that she already was, she would have to be careful and caring. 

"Game time guys fill your drinks!" Bellamy announced standing up to head to the kitchen, most followed but Clarke, Lexa, Fin and Roan remained seated already having a full drink. Clarke looked to Lexa once more who was already taking a swig from her drink with a big grin on her face as she caught Clarke's gaze. 
"Hi" Clarke mouthed with no noise. 

"Hi" Lexa mouthed back. Clarke could see her eyes more hazed than before as the alcohol took it's effect along with Lexa's new found confidence amongst the group. Clarke nodded her head telling lexa silently to come closer.

"hi" Lexa repeated once more sitting down beside Clarke. 

"Hi" Clarke smiled more wider than she would have liked "Are you having fun?" 

"i Am" Lexa admitted "I like raven" She admitted

"You do?"

"i Do" Lexa confirmed confidently. 

"mm. suppose someone has too right?" Clarke joked making Lexa release a small giggle. 

"She is interesting" 

"she is rather peculiar, what's she been saying?" Clarke questioned eager to know what the Latina had been saying now.

"she had some thing's that are bothering her" Lexa laughed remembering all the little question's Raven asked that annoyed her, not like any normal person at all.

"oh no" Clarke laughed already remembering raven's annoyance at the most silliest thing's like why you use shampoo before conditioner, why was it important to do it that way? who told us to do it that way? would it matter if we condition then shampoo first. "i can only apologise for her" Clarke laughed 

"Dont i kind'a liked it" Lexa admitted "she didn't understand why pizza gets delivered in a square box when they’re round" Lexa smirked "Which is a valid point" Clarke just shook her head in disbelieve at her best friend. Unbelievable.  "it annoy's her that people never draw fat stick men as well, she called it racist" If Clarke and Lexa wasn't laughing before they certainly was now.

"Racist?" Clarke laughed "She is such a idiot, i take it back she isn't the brainy one" Lexa smirked remembering the word's Clarke had spoke of her best friend's in the group, the speech that made lexa feel warm and comfortable inside, although she hadn't experienced such a feeling for friend's maybe because she didn't really have any, but still Lexa's heart warmed for the blonde it made her proud in a way she couldn't describe that she had people that cared and loved for her in such a way, people that wasn't her parents. 

"i like you like this" Clarke breathed unexpectedly as she took the brunette in all her beauty, the smiling confident Lexa. 

"Like what?" Lexa questioned becoming a little nervous like a wall had come down. 

"Confident."Clarke admitted tracing the girl's features "It suit's you. You look beautiful"

In that moment Clarke didn't care if she was stepping over a line, she didn't care if it made Lexa uncomfortable she just wanted to tell her, she needed to tell her how beautiful she was, with the smile on her face, her ease with her friends as she had banter. Clarke knew it was the alcohol that had gave her the new found confidence, but she didn't care. Lexa was just Beautiful. Lexa could just make her forget about everything going on around her, and she knew it, allowed it, and accepted it. Like Octavia said it is pointless to fight it, so Clarke wouldn't. 
"So do you" Lexa replied biting on her bottom lip. The girl's remained quiet for a moment just watching one another, and Clarke swore her heart had skipped more than one beat. 

Lexa had called her beautiful. 

Lexa. 

Clarke had heard a dozen time's she was beautiful from various people, but for some reason when Lexa just said it she felt her breathing pause, then start heavy again, her chest fluttered like she had just been dropped from a high building and her smile grew unable to tear her eye's from Lexa. Lexa was doing the same right back with a nervous smile.

"Game time bitches!" Raven announced. The girl's both looked away now focusing on the small group appear ready to begin the drinking game that await's. 

"Right rule's are you say something you haven't done if you have done it you drink, the person with no drink left loses very simple!" Raven beamed "Ill go first" She grinned leaning back in her chair at the small group with a mischievous look. "I have never made out with a girl" 

The group fell silent, eyes scanning around the small circle to see who would drink.
Bellamy drank, then Roan fin and Jasper.
All eye's turned to Lexa who was rocking her head to the music echoing from the house while moving her lip's singing along but with no sound. 
"Have you kissed a girl?" Octavia questioned already knowing the answer. 

"Yes?" Lexa questioned confused.

"Then drink my lovely!" Octavia giggled "Someone's on a buzz" 

"Sorry" Lexa muttered quickly taking a sip of her drink slightly embarrassed for not paying attention. 

"Bell your go" Raven laughed still shaking her head at the brunette beside her. "

"Umm..I have never..heard my parents at it like rabbits!" He laughed eager to see who drinks.

"You’re sick" Clarke laughed taking a swig followed by jasper, Roan and Fin. 

"Oh Abby's a loud girl is she" Bellamy Laughed followed by the rest of the group. Clarke rolled her eye's her gaze landing on Lexa beside her a giggle behind her drink. 

"Don't know what your laughing about, you will hear it soon enough" Clarke stated matter of factly "And let me tell you now it is gross" Clarke pulled the most disgusted face remembering the time she walked downstairs to get a drink for bed and hearing her parents in the living room going at it. So fucking Gross.

"Papa G Is hot! Cant blame moma G like seriously!" Raven added as if it wasn't new's to anyone. "I would hit that!" 

"Raven!" Clarke spat "Can we not talk about my parents! That is disgusting!"

"Moving on" Fin laughed "I Have never had a one night stand" 

Raven, Bellamy and Roan drank.

"And these are the sluts of the group" Clarke introduced to Lexa trying to suppress her giggle.

Clarke tried not to think about how comfortable she felt with Lexa and her friend's in this small group, she tried not to think how when she spoke she wanted to tell Lexa everything about her and the rest her friends and there life, she tried not to hope that this would be how it would be from now on, Lexa with her and this group. The way she was smiling and laughing when she was informed of something new about one of them, or when someone would drink at something godly, how her feet were tugged beneath her snuggled in to the garden chair as the warm winter air blew threw her brown Locks. Clarke was struggling to not fall harder and harder with Lexa the more the game continued the more she kept looking to Lexa, watching her no longer afraid to have a opinion, no longer afraid to talk and but in amongst the group as they laughed when Bellamy drank revealing he had been caught masturbating by his parent's. 

"What did your dad say?" Lexa questioned with her glazed eye's and pink cheeks. 

"he kinda just turned back around and turned back muttering 'not in here lad yeh,?" 

"That's so embarrassing" Octavia cringed needing to take a swig of her drink "Next question this one is grossing me out, i fucking sit on that couch as well" The group roared of laughter at Octavia's disgusted face. It was Clarke's turn to ask, she had been thinking of a questioned she could use to her advantage and she hoped Lexa would drink. 

"I have never fantasised about someone in this group?" The silence fell amongst them once more as there eye's all scanned to one another. 

Raven Drank.

Fin Drank. 

Jasper Drank. 

Octavia Drank. 

"Aren't you suppose to ask a question with something that you haven't done?" Lexa questioned 

Clarke drank. 

"My bad i forgot" Clarke lied. 

Lexa drank. 

"Ok we’re family you guys are sick" Raven added.

"You drank" Octavia laughed "But technically mine was a dream!" 

"Who was the lucky one?" Clarke questioned 

"Raven" Octavia laughed "You was rather good may i add" 

"Dont you know it" Raven winked before giggling "Mine was Bellamy when i first met him admittedly, that shit just aint normal now"

"Charming as always!" Bellamy tried acting offended.  

"Mine's pretty obvious" Fin laughed looking to Clarke awkwardly.

"Jasper who's yours?"

"long Legs over there" He grinned pointing to Lexa. Clarke had never snapped her head up so quickly. Jasper fantasising touching Lexa. What the fuck!

"Me?" Lexa questioned her cheek's bright red and her body beginning to turn shy automatic.

"Did you actually look in the mirror last week?" He questioned with a smirk "You were hot as hell, i think everyone did" He admitted

"Here here" Roan added taking a swig of his drink with a laugh.

What the fuck?!  Clarke felt her heart racing like she had for the millionth time that night when it came to Lexa, only this time it was one of the worst feeling's she felt, she was jealous. Jealous at the thought of people even thinking about touching Lexa, jealous at the thought people were looking at her in such a way. How dare they. Lexa was... was..single. The blonde lost her self in her thought's anger rushing through her body but unable to say anything she had no right. 

"Who was yours Lexa?" Octavia questioned Hopeful for Clarke. 

"Sorry?" She questioned nervously now feeling Clarke's gaze set on her to waiting on a answear.

"You drank. Who did you fantasise about?" Octavia questioned once more as the group waited for her answer, and Clarke hated it even more now that maybe other's were hoping she would say them.

"Umm.. well...i" The brunette's eye's flickered to one set of eye's to the other she could feel her body heat raise. why did i drink!? I could have lied!

"Spit it out"  raven encouraged 

"It was..."

A big smashing noise and raised voices echoed from the house causing the hole group to look up to see the disturbance.

"What the fuck is going on?" Bellamy snapped quickly raising to his feet running in to his home followed by Fin Roan and Octavia.

"They better not have smashed anything" Octavia huffed disappearing.

"A party isn't a party without a fight" raven laughed drinking the remaining of her drink. 

"can i use the toilet?" Lexa questioned eager to get away 

"upstairs on the left" Clarke replied not forgetting for a second that Lexa never answered the question.

///

Clarke smiled, laughed and drank and most definitely was struggling to keep her eye's away from the brunette dancing now in the living room. They had all moved inside the light's were dimmed and there seem to be a disco in the front room and people playing beer pong in the kitchen. Clarke stood in between chatting with Raven and Octavia while stealing glimpses of Lexa trying to drunkenly dance with Roan. 

Fucking Roan. 

The hot piece of arse in school, with his stupid biceps and muscles in all the right places, handsome blue eye's and long hair. Fuck he was handsome. 
Clarke wanted nothing more than to go over and tell him to sod of, and dance with Lexa herself but she seemed like she was enjoying his company as she laughed and smiled, he leaned in and whispered stuff in her ear, and she would just smile again. 

Fuck it. 

"Ill be back in a minute" Clarke muttered quickly heading over to Roan and Lexa. Clarke watched as the smile quickly appeared on the brunette's lips as she stood beside her

"Hi Clarke" Lexa grinned drunkenly. 

"Hi" the blonde could feel  her goofy grin already appear just by being near the brunette. "Roan the boy's are playing beer pong! Think they’re looking for another member!" Clarke lied

"Excuse me ladies!" He politely excused himself flashing Lexa a wink before walking away. 

"He’s nice" Lexa admitted flinging her arms around Clarke's neck "Are you going to show me how to dance now then?" She questioned tilting her head with a smirk. Clarke couldnt help but love this new confident, funny lexa. She was adorable in a whole other way and Clarke couldn't help but want to no everything about her. 

"Do you want me to teach you?" Clarke questioned unable to remove her smile. "although, your hips move perfectly on there own" the blonde admitted placing her hands on Lexa's hips while listening to the beat and guiding her with it, along with her own body. "A natural actually" 

The blonde closed her eyes taking the beat in and allowing the music to move her body accordingly, guiding lexa's along with her own. Music was a incredible piece of art in itself could make Clarke feel everything and everything from track to track, much like when she drew, but none of them quite made her feel the way she felt with Lexa tightly grinding against one another with her hands gripping Lexa's hips. Clarke moved her hands from Lexa's hips feeling her body moving on it's own and ran them at her body pushing up in to her hair until she felt her blonde lock's thread through her fingers and drop to her shoulders again as the beat picked up. 
Her eyes flickered back open catching a darker shade of green gazing in to her Blue, and her breath hitched and naturally pulled Lexa closer in to the dance. 

"You..Youj...i mean..Your dancing is.." The brunette stuttered unable to form words at the sight and feel she just experienced against her. Clarke had become a map in her mind, she had never been able to read a map in her life and now all of a sudden Clarke had become her map, she wasn't sure if it was because when she was around her she felt safe or at home maybe? Or if it was the fact she knew she felt something for the blonde that she had never felt before and it confused her to say the least.

"Thanks” Clarke grinned "Dancing can express so much" She admitted still grinding her bottom half with Lexa's more slower, and the blonde allowed the goose bumps to appear. 

"I need a wee...again" Lexa laughed knowing she had only just been.

"Broke the seal" Clarke laughed 

"the what now?" lexa questioned confused as they danced slowly with one another Lexa's arms draped over Clarke's shoulders as Clarke just giggled at the lack of information the girl knows at being drunk.

"It's when you’ve drank to much, once you go to the toilet once you need to keep going" The blonde giggled "Like yourself" 

"i am not drunk though" Lexa defended with cocked eyebrows

"All drunk people say that too" Clarke laughed "Go toilet! Dont want to be dancing in a puddle now do we" Clarke grinned releasing her grip on Lexa. 

"that would be embarrassing" 

"it would" 

Clarke was officially grinning like a moron, the biggest, cheesiest shit eating grin she has ever had. Lexa was drunk and it was even more cuter that she was a huge talker when intoxicated with alcohol which happen to be funny, strange and extremely cute. 

"I feel a little blurry" 

"Just a little?" Clarke teased "Does that mean i look smoking hot yet?" 

"You’re always smoking hot" Lexa laughed without hesitation thinking nothing of it, it was a fact. A fact that Clarke should obviously be aware of right? "Toilet" The brunette muttered finally releasing Clarke herself as she head to the toilet leaving Clarke a little more hot under the collar. 
For a few moments Clarke just stood there allowing all the events of tonight to sink in, Lexa and her friend's Lexa and her dancing, lexa being all cute and confident, lexa calling her hot and beautiful in one night.

Then Clarke almost sobered up instantly following Lexa quickly to the bathroom as she remembered her saying she felt dizzy, so she had to make sure she was ok right? Well that's what the blonde told herself as admitting to wanting to be Close to lexa all night wasn't something Clarke wanted to admit just yet.