Chapter 1
Lost And Insecure
Lexa had always felt like she lived in a nightmare, a world that was never meant to be hers yet impossible to escape. She had moved from place to place, bed to bed as she was repeatedly moved around in the system. She never knew where she would be going next, she never knew what kind of family she would be introduced to that wanted to take a shot at her, but she always already knew the ending. The last home had been the worst, ever since Lexa had closed down on herself finally accepting no one really wanted her the person that once did is dead. She accepted it because what other reason was there to repeatedly be given up on, repeatedly sent back into the system sometimes after just a few weeks. She knew it was because she was oddly quiet, she refused people to see her vulnerability, to see the real pain behind green eyes everytime she got rejected like the time before. So when she climbed out the car and looked at the big house in front of her, she knew this place would be no different, she knew this place would never become her home. Her fate was already sealed.
"Hi" Abby greeted "I'm Abby" She smiled holding her hand out to shake despite already having met the woman.
"Lexa" Lexa shifted foot to foot fiddling with the hem of her sleeve as she kept her gaze fixed firmly down on the ground she was uncomfortable, very uncomfortable.
"This is jake" Abby introduced noticing Lexa's awkwardness
"You alright kid" He smiled placing an arm around his wife, he to didn't miss how on edge Lexa looked, he squeezed his wife's shoulder gently letting her know to move it along to let the girl settle in.
"Let's get you inside" Jake added nodding her to follow.
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If anyone was to look at the brunette being shown around the house while shifting uncomfortable and not saying one word they would have thought she was a mute. An unhappy shifty mute. It wasn't that the place wasn't nice, or that the family were intimidating, It was because she didn't get the point in any of this she would only be here for a few week's if she was lucky and then return back to her true home in the system with all the other troubled teenagers. Lexa already had it buried in her head that foster family's just wanted the paycheck at the end of the month they don't really care if you're healthy or happy as long as she shut up and caused them no trouble. Then soon as they are fed up of having you around they ship you back of to whatever shit hole you came from without a second thought, so Lexa refused to settle into the Griffin's house until they were done with her.
"This is your room" Jake smiled pushing the door open for the brunette to step in. The first thing Lexa noticed was two beds only separated by draws between them. "I hope you don't mind sharing. We have a daughter, her names Clarke" He beams proudly speaking of his daughter while placing Lexa's suitcase on her bed. "She will be back from school shortly, I think you two will get on" his smile is soft at the still quiet shy brunette who had yet to say a single word. The silence lingered for a moment causing Jake to turn and face his wife not sure what else to say or do in this situation. "Ok well I will let you unpack and settle in we will be downstairs if you need anything" he says while taking his wife’s hand and exiting the room.
"She's rather quiet" Jake confesses. "I hope Clarke can get more out of her"
"They will be fine" Abby reassures knowing her daughter is quite the chatterbox.
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When Lexa heard the door click close she released a breathe she never knew she held. So far the Griffin family seemed nice but then again they all did on the very first day Lexa just thought it was to do with goid first impressions however she had never been to a family that already had a daughter. Only when she catches sight of photos plastered all over the mirror of a happy blonde in every photo does she repeat Clarke's name in her head. She focuses on every photo individually noticing the continuous smile or laugher the blonde held in each one. She was beautiful.
She shifted from foot to foot around the room noticing how big it really was, definitely big enough for two people. There were two beds one by the wall of the window that was Clarke's and two set's of Chester draws separating Lexa's bed from Clarke's. Clarke's mirror was attached to the wall above her draws completely covered in photo's while the blonde's wall beside her bed was covered in drawings. They weren't of anything in particular but the drawings were incredible with details so perfect you’d think she did it as a profession. Without being aware of her actions Lexa’s fingers traced down the drawing of a lady fighting off heavy rain, the details alone locking her in.
"Is there a reason you're on my side of the room?" A soft voice came from the door instantly making the brunette jump and snap her gaze away from the drawings and to the blonde standing at the door with a smile
"Sorry" Lexa muttered quickly moving her feet away from Clarke's side not even aware they had sides. She placed her bum on the edge of her own bed not sure where to stand or where to look. Her gaze dropped to her lap where her fiddling fingers started to play with the material of her shirt.
Clarke stepped in the room throwing her school bag on her bed before slouching on it with a huff.
"So I go to school with a room to myself, come back and now i have to share" She stated into the silent room "That's your side this is mine" Clarke sat up looking to the awkward brunette furrowing her brows before continuing "Stick to it and we won't have a problem, ok?" Clarke questioned only to watch the other girl nod quickly, still shifting uncomfortably.
"Good" Clarke huffed once more not best pleased with the lack of response. "So you're Lexa" Clarke questioned eyeing the brunette up from head to toe, black ripped jeans chequered shirt with combat boots, leather bracelet's on her wrist with her hair tied back with natural curls. She was cute. "Do you speak?" Clarke questioned as the girl still hadn't really put a sentence together
"I do” Lexa barely spoke feeling her hands getting clammy still not wanting to face the girl in front of her "You're Clarke" Lexa muttered awkwardly the name Jake had said to her.
"I am" Clarke confirmed hoping there would be more to Lexa's few words but that never came. Clarke just looked at the girl in front of her funny, out of all the people she had met she had never quite met someone this complicated to have a conversation with, and already she was getting fed up, she had to share a room with a stranger, a girl who couldn't even form a few words together and already she hoped she wouldn't be here long.
"Well as interesting as this conversation isn't" Clarke laughed smacking on her thigh's before standing up "I have places to be, don’t mess up my room, hopefully, you’re not here to long" Clarke spoke honestly, she wanted her room back, this was her home her family, not some stranger who thinks they can just walk in and share everything. When the door clicked shut behind her Lexa finally lifted her head up.
"Hopefully" she whispered sadly continuing to play with the end of her shirt. It had already been confirmed she wasn't wanted in this household so she struggled to find the point in even unpacking, so instead, she removed a few things from her case that would last a few days and shoved them in the draws before pushing her suitcase under her bed.
She knew she should be able to block everything out by now with the amount of rejection she had gone through, but still, Clarke's words hurt just like every other time. Only this time Clarke hadn't given her the time to want her gone, she just simply wanted it from one quick encounter. Quicker than anyone before. When she collided her head with the pillow she couldn't help but think about people that had a family. Of course, she was jealous of it who wouldn't be? She's had no one for so long that she almost forgets what if feels like to feel that warmth only your loved ones can provide. Instead, she was left feeling numb from day to day as she continued to fall down a dark hole. She already couldn't wait to leave this home.