Unsteady

Eight months ago, Ashlyn’s wife passed away. Her name was Melanie and she was a surgeon who had earned her way to the top at the hospital she worked at in the nation’s capital. Her and Ashlyn met seven years prior at a local bar in Georgetown. They were 23 years old when they met and full of youth. Drink nights at the bar were a common thing, not to the point of alcoholism but for fun and relaxation. A few dates and thereafter became known as ‘Meshlyn’ because they meshed together so well. They got married two years later on a beach in the Dominican Republic. Close friends and family attended the special day. They even flew to Asia afterwards on a fourteen-day honeymoon. Newly jobbed doctor’s pay helped. Ashlyn was and still is a dentist; both in the medical field. They wanted kids and it was in the plan since day one when they talked at the bar. Names were discussed as early as that and as soon as you could put a finger on it, they tried IVF. Ashlyn was the one to get pregnant the first time. She unfortunately had a miscarriage 4 months in. Melanie tried the second time and yet again – another miscarriage. They took a break from the IVF treatments until the two decided it would be nice to try again. And so they did – Ashlyn got pregnant and gave birth to a beautiful boy almost 2 years ago – Jaxon.

Not long after, they decided to try again. They succeeded again this time time, with Ashlyn carrying the child once more. The treatments were done nine months ago.

Unfortunately, Melanie had gotten into a major car accident a few days after the treatments as she was coming home from work. She passed away not being able to survive the traumatic injuries she had gotten from the impact of the truck.

The passing of Melanie had thrown Ashlyn’s world upside down. They had a baby boy together, which would of course be way too young to understand where Melanie went. He would ask for months afterwards and still to this day, but seldom, where his mommy was. Ashlyn held back the tears every time and replied with a simple “in a better place” response. It surprised Ashlyn that she didn’t have another miscarriage taking into account the stress and misery she was experiencing with the loss of her wife. She called this one her miracle child – not knowing the gender of the baby.

Ashlyn didn’t think of dating another woman afterwards. It wasn’t on her mind at all. She focused on her job, preparing for the next child and of course, Jaxon.

August 21^st

Ashlyn wakes up in excruciating pain and she knows. She knows the contractions have started. They are sparse, so she waits at home for a while, bearing through the pain each time one passes. Jaxon is confused as he plays with his toys and asks his momma if she’s okay. She nods and scrunches his blonde hair.

The contractions become closer in time as time goes on and she decides she should drive herself to the hospital. Last time, Melanie was there for that, as supportive as ever and the day was rather silent this time. Ashlyn was missing her wife more than ever. She was devastated and afraid.

“Jaxon, honey, can you put on your flip-flops?” Ashlyn asks him gently as she puts her hair up into a bun and slides on her own flip-flops. Lord knows you’re not supposed to drive with flip-flops but it’s the easiest option right now.

He nods and runs to the porch and sits on the floor as if it’s a complicated task just to put on his flip-flops.

She picks him up and heads to the car.

Twenty minutes later she arrives to the parking lot hospital and parks. She goes through a contraction and sits there for a few minutes, waiting it out. Jaxon is holding his blanket.

“Let’s go get your baby brother or sister, okay?” She says as she turns to look at him and he smiles wide.

She gets out of the car and unbuckles his car seat, gets him out and puts him down. He still holds onto his blanket.

“Hold my hand, Jax” She warns him before he’s about to run out into the parking lot.

They start walking towards the entrance, which is kind of far from where she found a spot in the lot.

Jaxon drops his blanket. Ashlyn is about to bend down to get it for him. But there is a woman running towards her. She has long brown hair and brown eyes.

“No, no, I’ll get it!” She gets the blanket for Ashlyn and hands it to Jaxon.

“Thank you” Ashlyn winces in pain as she thanks the woman for her kind gesture.

“Do you need anything?” The woman looks concerned and Ashlyn winces again.

“I, um, I’m in labor” Ashlyn lets out.

“I’m gonna get you a wheelchair, just stand right here on the side. I’ll be right back!” She yells out as she already begins jobbing back to the building. Ashlyn wonders if she’s a doctor or a nurse or something hospital-related because she’s wearing scrubs and has her picture ID tag hanging.

As the woman comes back she helps Ashlyn into the wheelchair. Jaxon sits on Ashlyn’s lap and the woman quickly brings Ashlyn inside.

On the way there, the woman asks how long it’s been since she started the contractions.

“Oh, a few hours ago. I waited. At home.”

“You should have come right away! Where is your partner?” The woman asks.

“She…” Ashlyn pauses. “She’s not here” She lies, somewhat.

“Well you’re giving birth, why is she missing this moment?”

“She died, okay?” Ashlyn begins to tear up and the woman stops the wheelchair and leans down beside her.

“I’m so sorry” She whispers and pushes the strand of sweaty hair that fell out of the bun out of Ashlyn’s face.

“No, it’s okay. Just get me to the room” Ashlyn demands.

“I’ve got you. I’m Ali, by the way, I’m a nurse in the psych ward.” The woman known as Ali introduces herself.

“Nice to meet you. I’m Ashlyn. This is my son, Jax” Jaxon waves to the woman pushing them.

“Hi Jax!” Ali says in the kindest, most enthusiastic voice.

As they get into the hospital, Ali brings her to the right floor. She talks to the nurses on the floor, which get a room prepared for her and she also gets a hold of Ashlyn’s doctor.

While waiting for the doctor, Ali calms Ashlyn down as best she can and holds her hand through the pain. Her hand is incredibly soft. Ali rubs circles on Ashlyn’s hand and Ashlyn tries to smile through the pain.

“Do you want me to watch your son while you give birth?” Nurse Ali asks.

“Weren’t you going home, like aren’t you done work anyway?” Ashlyn asks instead of answering the question.

“Yes, but patients are a priority, even out of the psych ward and after work and you’re in need of help with a handful of Jax, so, can I watch him?” Ali looks at Ashlyn, then at Jaxon and raises her eyebrow waiting for an answer.

Ashlyn doesn’t even think of the fact that a stranger would watch over her son.

“Yes, please” Ali immediately bends down to Jaxon’s level.

“Jax! I’m going to play with you for a while, is that okay?” Ali asks and tickles his tummy. He laughs and hugs her (he’s a big hugger) and she laughs. “I guess that’s a yes!”

“Ashlyn, I’m going to tour him around the hospital and bring him to the play rooms, to my office, you know, in safe places but cool places. I’ll keep him busy. When you need him or me for anything, tell one of your nurses or the doctor and we’ll be right there.” Ali puts a hand on Ashlyn’s shoulder as she has Jaxon in her arms.

“Thank you so much, Ali” Ashlyn smiles one last time before she is taken into the birthing room.

8:36 PM

“It’s a girl!” The doctor announces to Ashlyn as one final push has the baby out crying and screaming.

Ashlyn takes a deep breath and finally relaxes. It was a rather quick and easy birth the second time around. The baby girl is given to Ashlyn moments later and Ashlyn bonds with the beautiful girl who is crying on top of her mother.

“Hi there, little one” Ashlyn holds her and whispers to her as she’s crying.

She thinks of Melanie. She can’t stop. The thoughts are overwhelming. But she also thinks of Ali, strangely enough. She had just met this woman and she feels a strong connection towards her. So strong that she’s thinking of her while she’s holding her newborn. She’s having conflicting thoughts. Another woman is going through her mind for the first time.

“Lily” She spits out mid-thought.

“Is that her name” Ashlyn’s doctor asks.

“It is. Lily Savannah” She nods in confirmation.

“Can you call nurse Ali back in here with my son?” She asks the nurse. The nurse steps out of the room and calls her colleague.

Minutes later, Jaxon and Ali arrive. Ali is carrying Jaxon, who has an arm around Ali’s neck. He seems comfortable with her.

The baby is now enveloped in a pink blanket and has a pink hat on. She is lying quietly in Ashlyn’s arms and Ali approaches the bed with Jaxon.

“Jax, look who’s there, your baby sister!” Ali looks into Ashlyn’s eyes and smiles. Ashlyn is looking straight back at her and smiles too.

“I want see!” Jaxon squirms from Ali’s arms and she places him on the bed.

“Be careful, Jax” They warn at the same time and they laugh.

“What’s her name?” Jaxon asks as he looks at her.

“Lily” His momma smiles.

“I like that” Jaxon smiles and reaches to touch her. Ashlyn lets him.

“I like it too, Ash” Ali shortens her name. It seems natural and goes unnoticed.

“Thank you” Ashlyn says and looks back at her newborn daughter.

“I’ll stay here overnight with you and Jaxon. We’ve discussed it already. Sleepover. I don’t have a shift tomorrow, so no worries” Ali winks.

Wow. This woman is extraordinary. Why? Is Melanie sending her? Do I deserve her?

“Ali, seriously, you don’t have to. But if you already made plans, I mean, thank you so much” Ashlyn puts out her hand and Ali takes it.

“It’s my pleasure” Ali smiles wide.

10:30 PM

Jaxon has finally fell asleep in Ali’s arms. It has taken a while as she reads him a storybook she bought him in the gift shop. Ashlyn has been asleep for about a half hour. Ali feels bad about waking her but she feels like they should talk without interruption.

Ali places Jaxon on the cot and tucks him in and carefully walks up to Ashlyn and rubs her arm as she smiles at her.

Ashlyn slowly wakes up and smiles when she notices who it is.

“I’m sorry to wake you up, Ashlyn” Ali sits in the chair beside her.

“No, it’s alright” Ashlyn looks towards her.

“You did great today” Ali congratulates her.

“Thank you, Ali. But you’re the honest hero, especially for Jaxon”

“Jaxon? I literally thought his name was just Jax!” Ali giggles and Ashlyn laughs.

“But seriously” she begins to add. “If you ever need help, call or text me.” Ali smiles friendly.

“I don’t have your number, silly” Ashlyn giggles.

“I saw your number on the file hung up there and added it to my phone. I texted you already. Don’t worry” Ali winks.