Chapter 9
By the time that Clarke wakes the next morning, Lexa is nowhere to be found, and she can’t stop the tears from freely flowing down her cheeks as she digs her head further into her pillow, the faint smell of Lexa’s shampoo lingering on the sheets there. Hours seem to go by until she finally falls asleep from exhaustion of crying.
When Clarke wakes up again, she knows that it’s already well into the afternoon, but she can’t bring herself to care. She doesn’t have the willpower to get up right now, and she’s not sure that she will have it for a while. She stares at the ceiling of her bedroom far too long for any sane person, until she finally rolls to her side to grab her cell phone off of her nightstand. She’s not really surprised to find that she has countless missed calls, and multiple text messages from the usual people. Three texts from Raven. Two missed calls and seven text messages from Octavia. One missed call and one text message from her boss, Marcus Kane. Three texts from Wells, and one from Lexa. The messages from Raven, Octavia, and Wells were all, basically, the same thing. They were worried about Clarke, hoping that she was making it okay now that Lexa was gone.
She’s not. She’s not okay.
She bites back the sob that aches to leave her dry throat, and checks the message from Marcus.
MARCUS KANE (1:34PM)- Clarke, I know that you said you needed a few more days off, but I was wondering if you could run down to the new gallery opening up on fifth? I believe it’s called ‘Grounders’. Could be a good piece for you. Let me know.
Clarke sighs, and rolls back over to her back, holding her phone up above her face, before she’s accidently dropping it, and it lands right on top of her nose. “Shit.” She groans, grabbing her phone again, and rubbing her palm across her nose. She starts to think that maybe she should get out and do something. Do anything to keep her mind off of the one thing that seems to be plaguing it.
CLARKE (2:03PM) – I’ll go check it out, Kane. Thanks.
There’s a gnawing feeling inside her stomach that tells her to skip over the message from Lexa, but then there’s the small organ in her chest, the one that beats erratically at the thought of her best friend, that’s telling her to read it. Clarke finally just decides to ‘bite the bullet’, and read the text. It’s probably nothing too important anyway. When she clicks on the four letter name, her eyes widen at the long message. She was expecting something short and to the point.
LEXA (12:37PM) – Hey. I’m sorry that I left without waking you this morning. I just couldn’t bring myself to have to say goodbye again, even though I know that I will see you Saturday. At least I hope that I will. I really do need you by my side through all of this, but I would understand if you didn’t come. I know that you and Costia haven’t had the best interactions, and I’m sorry for that. I think that once she gets
over all of her jealousy, and you both get to know each other, you’ll learn to like each other. I know that I’m the only person that can manage to ramble through text message, but I just need you to know that I will understand if you don’t show up, Clarke. We’ll talk soon.
Clarke takes in a deep breath and exhales slowly, trying to steady herself and all of the emotions that seem to flood through her just from reading a damn text from Lexa. First of these emotions, is grief. Clarke is sad that Lexa didn’t tell her goodbye and that she actually doesn’t think that Clarke would show up for her wedding, even if she is marrying Miss Bitchy Pre-Teen Illinois. Although, there are voices in the back of her head telling her that it might be best, in the long scheme of things, to skip the wedding all together, she knows that she would never be able to do that. Not to Lexa. If Lexa needs Clarke there, then she will be there. Not matter how badly it hurts.
The second emotion is anger. Once again, because Lexa didn’t tell her goodbye, and because she actually thinks that Clarke and Costia would get along. Costia Daniels and Clarke Griffin will never be friends. They will never like each other. Costia made damn sure of that when she locked herself inside of that elevator with Clarke, on the first day that they had met. Clarke’s blood boils at the thought.
And even though Clarke hates Costia, maybe Lexa was right. Maybe Costia is just jealous. Lexa is something worth fighting for. That’s for sure. Clarke, more than anyone, can understand that. Maybe Costia wasn’t actually that bad. There has to be something that Lexa sees in the girl for her to be marrying her.
Clarke sighs, and locks her phone. She doesn’t bother replying to her best friend, because she doesn’t know what in the hell that she would say. There’s nothing that she can say to make any of this feel better. To make any of this feel right. There’s just not.
She rolls out of bed and heads to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for her day. She’s going to put on her big girl panties and deal with it. She’s going to march out into the world, walk down to this new gallery and do her job. Leaving all thoughts of her love for her best friend behind her.
Or at least trying to.
//
“Lex!” Costia squeals once she sees her fiancé in the airport. Costia had called Lexa earlier that morning to let her know that she could be the one to come pick her up, and Lexa couldn’t believe that she actually wanted to, but she wasn’t going to complain. Costia throws her arms around Lexa’s neck, pulling her in tightly, and startling the brunette. She wraps one arm around Costia’s small body, while her other is still holding on to her carry-on bag. “I’ve missed you.” Her fiancé says into her ear, before pulling back and placing a kiss to her lips.
Lexa chuckles lightly, wondering what’s gotten her fiancé in such a good mood. She can’t help but wonder if she’s only like this because Clarke isn’t here with them, but as soon as the thought came, she tries to push thoughts of the blonde out of her head for now. Lexa needed to focus on Costia. The woman that she’s marrying in three days. “I missed you too.” Lexa smiles a small smile, and clenches her hand in the material of Costia’s shirt.
“Come on.” Costia says, grabbing Lexa’s hand and pulling her through the crowd of people running around in O’Hare airport. “Let’s grab your luggage and then go find something to eat. I’m starved.” Lexa laughs, but doesn’t say anything. She only follows Costia, her hand linked with the other woman’s as she pulls her along.
Once they retrieved Lexa’s suitcase, the two women jumped in to the back of the black SUV that’s Costia’s driver drove her around in. Lexa hated it. She hated be carried around like she was some helpless child, but she didn’t fuss because Costia had always had a driver. It’s all that she’s ever known. She grew up with it. The driver, Greg, dropped them off at Costia’s favorite restaurant downtown, before leaving to drop off Lexa’s luggage at her hotel.
Lexa had never really liked this restaurant. Some fancy, French place called Ville de Lumière. Lexa recalls Costia telling her that it meant ‘City of Light’ or something to that affect. She honestly doesn’t know how she remembers that. Clarke would tease her of being a nerd for remembering something like that. She immediately shakes her head, attempting to make herself forget thoughts of the blonde in this moment. Right now, she’s with her fiance and Costia has just said something to her, and she has no idea what it was.
“Shit, babe.” Lexa utters, once she’s broken out of her reverie. Clearly, Costia had been trying to grab her attention for the past couple of seconds. “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“I was asking how your trip was.” Costia says with a hint of irritation in her voice. It’s something that Lexa has grown to know the sound of. “What’s wrong with you? Something seems – off.”
“Nothing, Cos.” Lexa smiles sleepily, and reaches her hand across the table to place hers on top of her fiancé’s. “I’m just tired is all.” Costia looks at her like she doesn’t truly believe her, but luckily, for Lexa, she doesn’t take the subject any further.
“So, how was it?” Costia asks after another few moments of silence. “Did you get to see any of your old friends? I know that you said you had a couple of old drinking buddies that live in New York. Did you get to see them?” Costia was wrong. Lexa had told her that she had a couple of old drinking buddies back in San Francisco, not in New York, but Lexa really isn’t surprised. She tries not to let it bother her too much that Costia seems to never listen to her completely. At least, that’s the way that it seems to Lexa.
“Uhh – no.” Lexa replies, looking down at the menu, even though she already knows what she’s getting. She gets the same thing every time because it’s the only think on the menu that she can actually understand. “No. I was really busy with work.” And she knows that she shouldn’t. She really, really shouldn’t, but she doesn’t want to lie to Costia. That’s not really her style, even though omitting a few key details couldn’t possibly hurt. “I got to hang out with Clarke quite a bit, and we hung out with Wells a couple of times. Oh – and Octavia and Raven stopped by for a bit too.”
Lexa notices the tightness form in Costia’s jaw, and the way that her fiancé’s fingers grasp at the menu in her hands. Lexa takes a sip of her water to try and soothe her dry throat. “You saw Clarke?” Costia’s voice is low, and she grits her teeth, barely getting out each word.
“Well, yeah.” Lexa answers. “She’s my best friend and she lives in the city. Why wouldn’t I hang out with her?” She really hopes that this doesn’t turn into some sort of huge argument. She doesn’t have the will to go through that right now.
Costia takes a sip of her wine and glares at Lexa over the top of her glass. There’s the Costia that she’s seen the past few weeks. “And what do you mean that you and Clarke hung out with Wells? Don’t they live together?”
“Oh.” Shit. Lexa thinks to herself. She did not think about that. Costia still thinks that Clarke and Wells are engaged. Shit. Shit. Shit. “Uh – they decided that they were better off as friends.” Lexa shrugs, knowing how stupid that sounds. “Turns out that Wells is gay. Who knew?” Lexa laughs nervously and takes another sip of her water.
“So, Clarke isn’t marrying him, then?”
“Uh – no?”
“Well, I’m sure that Clarke is positively devastated.” Costia says, and Lexa can sense the sarcasm dripping from her voice. “I hope that you were able to comfort her in her time of need.”
“Here we go.” Lexa says quietly, as she leans back in her chair and crosses her arms. “Why do you hate her so much? She’s done nothing to you, Costia.” Lexa’s voice is soft and gentle, even though she wants to yell at the top of her lungs. She’s so agitated. Not just with Costia, but with everything. She wonders when her life became this messed up world of lies and devastation.
“I don’t hate her.” Costia answers, and that’s a complete, boldfaced lie. “I just don’t like that fact that every time she’s around you, she has her hands all over you. It’s so obvious that she’s in love with you.” Her fiancé says matter-of-factly, and Lexa feels her own eyes widen. What? “She needs to learn her place, and that’s not with you.”
Lexa chews on that bit of information for a moment, letting her mind filter through what Costia had just said. Costia thinks that it’s obvious that Clarke is in love with her? Clarke’s just always been a touchy, feely kind of person. She’s not – she can’t possibly be in love with Lexa. They’re friends. Best friends. Clarke made that very clear, when she broke Lexa’s heart, all of those years ago. “Clarke is not in love with me, Costia. Get that through your head.” And she doesn’t know if she’s telling the last part to Costia or to herself, because that couldn’t possibly be true. “She’s always been the kind of person to cling to her friends.
She’s very affectionate, and she means absolutely nothing by it. She’s my best friend, and this is the last I want to hear of this, okay? I’m marrying you. Isn’t that enough for you? Why do you not believe me?”
“Whatever, Lexa.” Costia says, signaling the waiter that she’s ready with her order. “I’m sorry that I started this argument, but if she tries anything –“
“What would she try, Cos? Clarke wouldn’t do that to anyone, okay? Stop worrying and let’s have a good meal.”
“Alright.”
//
“So, she said nothing? She didn’t wake you up or anything?” Octavia asks Clarke, as the two of them plus Raven and Wells sit around in Clarke’s living room. Clarke had finally given in and allowed her friends to come over so that she could talk to them and fill them in on everything. She knew that they all just wanted what was best for both herself and Lexa. It’s been over a day since Lexa left, and she still hasn’t talked to Lexa. Clarke has never felt so empty.
“I woke up and she was gone.” Clarke replies, turning up the bottle of beer that she held tightly in her palm.
“Well, I’m sure that is was difficult enough as it was. Maybe she just didn’t want to go through the pain of saying goodbye.”
“That’s what she said in the text.” Clarke says, trying to put on a brave face. A strong front, proving that this doesn’t bother her as much as her friends seem to think that it does. Even though, deep down, she knows that that is a lie if she’s ever heard one.
“Clarke.” Wells says softly, leaning over and placing his hand gently on top of Clarke’s knee. “Lexa loves you. Anyone with eyes can see that.”
Clarke lets out a groan and stands up from the couch to go toss the now empty bottle, in her hand, away. She then grabs another from the refrigerator before making her way back onto the couch with her friends. “If she loved me, then she wouldn’t be marrying that goody-two-shoes.”
“Well, you love her.” Raven chimes in. “And you haven’t grown the balls to tell her. Maybe she’s just as scared as you are. Maybe she’s scared of rejection too. Maybe she is like you, and doesn’t want to jeopardize your friendship.”
“That’s a lot of ‘maybes’.”
“Maybe.” Raven grins, and Clarke finally cracks, something akin to, a smile.
Clarke lies down with her head in Octavia’s lap and her feet in Wells’, letting out a groan as she throws her arm over her eyes. “It’s too late.” She says. “I’m flying back out in the morning, and she’s getting married the day after.”
“It’s not too late, Clarke.” Wells says. “But it will be if you don’t grow the hell up and get your shit together.” Clarke raises a bit to glare at him, but he pretends to not notice. “Do what Raven said, and grow a pair.
If you want Lexa to be happy, then you know what you have to do.”
“Of course, I want her to be happy!” Clarke exclaims, and she doesn’t mean for it to come out as loudly and as forcefully as it did. “But who says that I’m what makes her happy?”
Wells groans and stands up, grabbing his satchel and throwing it over his shoulder. He leans over and presses a kiss to the top of Clarke’s head before saying, “I won’t talk about this again. It’s obvious how you both feel for each other. Do your thing, Griffin, or stop pouting around.” He says that with as much sincerity as he can, because he does, truly, want what’s best for Clarke. And with that, he leaves.
Clarke pouts her bottom lip out and Raven chuckles into her beer. “Tough love.” The Latina girl teases.
“You’re damn right it is.”
//
Lexa paces around her hotel room late, Friday night, with her cellphone in her hand, gripping it like she’ll never let it go. Her palms are sweaty and her knuckles have turned white, and she’s almost positive that she’s burnt a hole in the floor from the friction of her pacing. She feels as if she’s been at it for at least an hour now.
She hasn’t heard from Clarke at all. No response to her text from the previous day or anything. She’s really starting to freak the fuck out. Lexa finally makes her way over to the large window, in her room, near her bed, and clicks the name on her phone, bringing the phone up to her ear, slowly. After about the third ring, someone picks up on the other end.
“Woods! It’s about damn time you called.” She hears Octavia’s voice, as she answers her call. She’s been debating calling her friend all day, and she finally caved. “I was wondering if I would hear from you before you went and got hitched.”
Lexa rolls her eyes, even though she knows that Octavia can’t see her. “How are you?” She asks, ignoring her friend’s comment all together.
“Good. I’m good. What about yourself? Ready to get married?”
“Yes.” Lexa answers almost a little too quickly. “Uh – yeah. I am. Have you, umm – have you spoken with Clarke?” She hears a small, barely audible sigh come from the other end of the line, and something that sounds like the shuffling of feet.
“Yeah.” Octavia replies quietly, almost as if she were trying to hide from someone. “I’m – uh, I’m actually at her place right now.”
“What? You’re still in the city?”
“Yes, Commander. Chill. Raven, Clarke, and I are all flying out in the morning. You know that we wouldn’t miss your wedding.”
Lexa takes in a deep sigh of relief. That’s the first that she’s heard, for sure, that Clarke is still planning on attending. Words can’t describe how relieved she is to hear that, but it also makes her worrisome. Being around Clarke, always seems to make Lexa weak in the knees, and she doesn’t think that she will ever get used to that feeling. She doesn’t understand why she could never feel that with Costia. She loves Costia. She does, but it’s different from what she feels when she’s with Clarke, and she wishes that she didn’t feel this way. It hurts to know that someone doesn’t love you the way that you love them.
“I know, I know.” Lexa replies, finally. “I just – how is she?” Lexa asks, and Octavia knows, immediately, that she’s talking about Clarke. “Is she mad at me for just leaving yesterday? I didn’t want to wake her and I just - it felt like I was saying goodbye to her, you know? I don’t know why, I mean, she’ll always be my best friend. I guess, I just know that things will be different now, and that we won’t get to spend as much time together and I –“
“Lexa, you’re rambling.” Octavia says into the phone, and her voice is not teasing. She knows that Lexa is nervous about everything. About the wedding. About her friendship with Clarke. She understands that Lexa is under a lot of duress at the moment.
“Yeah. Sorry.” Lexa utters under her breath, her hand coming up to rub at the back of her neck and pick at her baby hairs that line the base of her skull. She really just needs to change the subject. She can’t think about this right now. “So, uh – when does your flight leave in the morning?”
“I think around eight or so.” Octavia says. “Clarke has the tickets, but I think that that’s what she told me. We should be in Chicago around lunch time, or a little before.”
“I would come pick you guys up, but Costia and I have some last-minute fittings at Vera Wang, and I don’t know how long that we will be there.”
“It’s fine, Woods.” Octavia says. “But, uh – I should probably get back in there. I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”
“Umm, yeah. See you tomorrow, O.” When the call ends, Lexa is even more confused than ever. Octavia acted like she was trying to hide the fact that she was talking to Lexa from Clarke. Why? Is Clarke mad at Lexa? Is she so mad that she doesn’t even want to hear about her? Lexa’s not sure that she can handle much more of this. Her nerves are shot. Her anxiety seems to be taking control of her body. She doesn’t even feel like Lexa Woods anymore. She doesn’t know who she is. Not without her best friend. Not without Clarke.
Lexa tosses her phone across the room, in a split second of rage, hoping that it would land on the sofa or something soft, at least. She doesn’t wait up to see where it lands, and quickly makes her way out the door and down a couple of floors to Costia’s room. Her father had set them both up to be in the hotel this weekend, but he doesn’t approve of them staying together before marriage.
Once Lexa’s made her way to the floor that Costia is on, she walks down the hallway, her breath coming to her in spurts. Raising a hand, she forcefully knocks on the door, and hears feet shuffling on the other side. Her hands are shaking in a bit of anxiety and anger. The anger is all on her, though. This is her fault. It’s her fault that she’s in this position. She has to push these unrequited feelings, for Clarke, out of her mind.
As soon as the hotel room door opens, and Costia steps out, Lexa tries to focus solely on her fiancé. “Lexa, what is it? What’s wro –“ Costia doesn’t get the chance to finish before she’s being backed up into her room, and Lexa is crashing their lips together. Costia is way more than caught off guard by the whole thing, but she’s not going to complain. It’s been forever since Lexa has shown any kind of initiative to start something like this. It hasn’t been forever since Costia’s been with someone though. She’s ashamed, but she wasn’t getting any attention from Lexa, and while Lexa was gone to New York over the past week, Costia might have met up with someone. It was just a one night thing, though. It meant nothing. She feels like Lexa doesn’t really need to know.
By the time Costia is pulled out of her regretful thoughts, she realizes that Lexa has already pulled the shirts from both of their bodies, and since Costia was already in her pajamas, that means that she’s only left in her underwear. Lexa seems to be intent on something, but she’s not sure what. She’s in her own world.
Lexa is being more forceful and dominant than usual, as she kisses Costia’s lips. There’s a clash of tongues and teeth going on, before Lexa pulls away for a breath, but she’s quickly leaning back in to suck and bite at Costia’s neck, earning a loud moan from her fiancé. All of the time, Lexa is pushing them backwards, until the back of Costia’s knees hit the mattress and they topple over. Costia starts to laugh, but there is no emotion whatsoever on Lexa’s sculpted face. She’s a stoic and unreadable as ever.
Lexa knows that she should be thinking solely of Costia, the woman that’s writhing underneath her at the moment, but she can’t get the images of blue eyes and blonde hair out of her head. Her head is pounding and she feels dizzy, but she pushes through. She can’t have these thoughts. She leans in to Costia’s chest and forcefully sucks a nipple between her lips, not minding that she’s scraping her teeth all across the other woman’s chest.
It’s still not enough. This isn’t enough to her, and she moves down even further and with one fell swoop, she rips the underwear from Costia’s hips. That’s right. She rips them, and she can’t even bring herself to care. This was going to be a long night for Costia, physically, and for Lexa, emotionally.
//
Octavia walks back into the living room where Raven and Clarke are sitting. She had just gotten off of the phone with Lexa, and she was really hoping that they wouldn’t ask her who it was on the phone. But, of course, she’s not that lucky. “Was that Lexa?” Clarke asks, the red bags still visible under her eyes from where she was crying earlier. Octavia doesn’t answer immediately, she only looks at Clarke like she has no idea of what she’s talking about, hoping that the subject would be dropped. Octavia plops down on the couch beside her blonde friend, and the question comes again. “Octavia, was that Lexa on the phone?”
“Yes.”
“Is she okay? Why didn’t she call me?”
“I’m her friend too, Griff.” Octavia teases, but she knows deep down, that if something was ever wrong, Lexa would definitely call Clarke over Octavia. They all know that. Clarke doesn’t seem to appreciate the teasing, and gives the shorter woman a glare that could send a shiver down a grown man’s spine. “She’s fine. Sounded tired, though.” Clarke hums and nods her head, looking down at her phone to make sure that she hadn’t missed a call or text from her best friend. She hadn’t. “She said that she’s sorry that she wouldn’t be able to pick us up at the airport tomorrow. Some last minute fittings for she and Costia, I think.”
“I didn’t expect her to come get us anyway.” Clarke snaps without even thinking, and immediately regrets it, but she doesn’t look up to meet Raven and Octavia’s eyes. She knows that she has no right to be angry at Lexa. Their friends. Lexa doesn’t have to check in with her anytime she does something. She’s a grown ass woman, but for some reason, Clarke is pissed at the fact that she still hasn’t heard anything from her friend. Was Lexa waiting for her to say something? Why did she call Octavia? Clarke didn’t want to push all of her drama onto her friends, so she refrained from asking Octavia any more questions about her call with their friend.
“So,” Raven chimes in, attempting to do her best at dissolving the tension that has seemed to settle in the apartment. “We going to go out tomorrow night and get shit faced?” She grins at Octavia and Clarke, and Octavia rolls her eyes.
“No, Raven. It’s – “ Octavia is interrupted before she can finish.
“Yes. I am definitely down for getting plastered.” Clarke says, as she stands from her sofa and stretches. “I’m sure that you know of a few great places in Chicago, yeah?” She asks Raven, since the woman is a native.
“You know it, Griffin. The best.” Raven replies, ignoring the looks that she got from Octavia.
“Guys,” Octavia groans. “We can’t. That’s the night before Lexa’s wedding. We will all end up being late and looking like shit.”
“It’s a wedding, O.” Clarke says, making her way to her bedroom, but turning to look over her shoulder at the other two women before she walks through the door. “Weddings are supposed to be fun, right?” Both Octavia and Raven pick up on her sarcasm, but they don’t have time to say anything before the blonde shuts her bedroom door, leaving them alone in the living room.
“This is bad.” Octavia says.
“If the girl wants to drink, O, then she can drink. It’s the best way to forget, and clearly that’s what she wants to do.”
“She’s not thinking, Raven. Her head is fucked right now. You’ve seen the two of them together. You know how much they love each other.”
“Yeah, and it really sucks that they won’t be together, but there’s nothing we can do about that. “ Raven shrugs. “They are both grown women. They have to be the ones to discover that for themselves.”
//
“God, that flight sucked.” Raven says as she steps out of the cab that they had caught at the airport. It had taken them to their hotel, the same one that they stayed in last time, and Raven assumed that Costia and Lexa were here as well.
“I thou – I thought that it was a lovely flight.” A very inebriated Clarke stutters out, as she follows Raven and Octavia out of the cab. Octavia has to hold her arm to help her, or else she would have definitely eaten pavement.
Raven laughs out loud at her new friend. The girl looked like a mess. Blue jeans, and an old concert t-shirt. Clarke’s hair is up in a messy, messy bun and she’s wearing Raven’s aviators to hide her slightly blood-shot eyes. “Lovely, huh?” Raven says, mocking Clarke’s word choice for their flight. “Come on drunky.” She gets on the other side of Clarke, and she and Octavia lead the blonde into the hotel, leaving the valet and bellboy to deal with their luggage.
Once the trio was inside, they ran into the last two people that they needed to see right now. “Costia. Lexa” Octavia says, throwing on her best fake smile, and glancing over at Raven nervously. This was not good. Clarke did not need to be anywhere near Lexa and Costia while she was plastered. Like, seriously? She couldn’t wait until tonight?
“Hey, guys.” Lexa smiles, not yet noticing the blonde’s state of mind. “Wh – what are you guys doing?” She asks, finally seeing the grip that both Raven and Octavia have on Clarke’s arms.
“Just got in from the airport.” Raven replies, noticing that Lexa’s eyes still haven’t left Clarke. She sees the look that Costia is throwing her fiancé, and Raven certainly doesn’t miss the two hickeys across Costia’s collarbone. Hopefully her dress will cover those up. “We’re going to go nap for a while. See ya, Lex.” Raven says, dragging Clarke along, past Lexa and Costia.
“Wait!” Lexa says, and sees the look that Costia gives her, this time. “Wait, guys.” She turns to her fiancé and grins. “It’s fine. Just have to let them know what time they should be at the venue to get ready tomorrow.” She’s trying to reassure Costia that that’s the only reason she has to talk with them. “Go wait in the car.” Lexa kisses her forehead. “I’ll be out there in a bit.” Costia hesitates, but finally nods and starts out the door.
“You look lovely today, by the way, Costia!” Clarke yells, and to Octavia, it’s one of the most embarrassing things that she’s ever had to go through, and it had absolutely nothing to do with her. Costia turns to look at Clarke, but says nothing, and makes her way completely out of the hotel.
“Who pissed in her cheerios this morning?” Clarke scoffs, as she tries to jerk her arms away from her friends.
“Guys.” Lexa says as she makes her way back closer to them. “What the hell is wrong with her?” She asks, nodding her head in Clarke’s direction.
“Uh, she might have gotten a tad bit drunk on the flight.” Raven answers, trying to avoid eye contact with the searing green eyes.
“Those mini bottles are so cute!” Clarke exclaims, as the other three women try to shush her. They’re started to attract way too much attention in the lobby.
“How in the hell did she get drunk off of those? I thought that the airline only gave you like one or two.” Lexa huffs, putting her hands on her hips and glaring at Octavia and Raven like this was their fault. She wants to know why Clarke was drinking in the first place.
“Well, they do, but –“ Raven starts, but is quickly interrupted by their blonde friend.
“Turns out that the stewardess was a boob girl.” Clarke grins widely, and Lexa looks at her for a second in confusion before looking back at Raven.
Raven sighs, knowing that, for whatever reason, Lexa was going to yell at her for her next words. “Clarke, might have flashed her tits at the stewardess.” Lexa’s eyes widen, and suddenly she’s even more angry. She feels sick.
“What?” Lexa yells, a little too loudly. “Clarke, what the fuck?”
“What, Woods?” Clarke grins again, and Lexa’s heart sinks, because Clarke is so out of it at this point, she doesn’t even recognize her best friend anymore. She wonders if Clarke thinks the same thing about her. “You’ve seen my tits. They’re great tits!”
“Can we please stop saying ‘tits’?” Octavia huffs, and starts to pull Clarke over to the elevator in the corner. “Come on, Clarke. Let’s get you upstairs.”
“Clarke?” Lexa calls, and the blonde turns around with a huge smile on her face. Lexa feels about two feet tall at that moment. Was Clarke mad at her? This isn’t the way that her best friend ever acted. “I’ll just be two seconds.” Lexa says to Octavia and Raven, and they walk off, and Lexa walks up to steady Clarke by grabbing onto her biceps. “Clarke, what’s wrong?” She asks softly, looking into the sunglasses that cover her blue eyes.
“Nothing.” Clarke grins, and Lexa knows that it’s forced. “Everything is great. You’re getting married. I’m going to get drunk and hopefully find someone to bring back here with me, if you know what I mean.” The blonde wiggles her eyebrows suggestively at Lexa. “I hear that weddings are the best place for that.”
“Clarke.” Lexa warns, and then finally, Clarke’s normal, soft voice comes through, and the sadness is evident.
“Please, stop saying my name like that.” You don’t know what that does to me, she thinks to herself, even in her drunken state.
Lexa sighs, and removes her hands from Clarke’s arms, immediately missing the contact between them. “Can we talk?” Lexa asks. “Tonight, I mean? Can we just hang out for a while?”
“Sure, Woods.” Clarke grins. “But you’ll have to meet us out. Raven is taking us to a club. It’s going to be so much fun.”
Lexa rolls her eyes. She hates clubs. She hates everything about them. The closeness of everything is so suffocating, but if that’s where Clarke would be, then that’s where she would be. She needed to find out what was wrong with her friend. “Okay. Tell Raven to text me the time and address and I will try to meet you guys there after Cos and my fittings.”
“Cos.” Clarke hums, bringing a hand to her own chest, and pretending to grasp at her heart. “Aww. That is too sweet. You guys are going to be so fucking great together, Woods. Seriously.” Lexa wants to cry. She really does. She knows that Clarke is bullshitting her. She can’t stand Costia. This person in front of her is not Clarke Griffin. This isn’t her Clarke Griffin. This isn’t her best friend. Lexa silently waves Raven and Octavia over, signaling that she’s leaving now, and the other two women are right back with Clarke.
“I’ll see you guys later.” Lexa says, before turning and leaving. This day just got a whole lot shittier.