Chapter 5
“Octavia…. Octavia – wake the hell up.” Lexa pushes at the small brunette headed girl in her bed. The woman that she is attempting to wake up finally starts to stir after what seems like an eternity of pushing and prodding. “Finally.” Lexa mutters, letting out an exasperated sigh.
Octavia sits up slowly in bed, and moves to sit up against the headboard. “What?” The smaller woman is clearly annoyed at being woken up.
“Where’s Clarke?”
“What?” The girl asks again, opening her eyes wider and looking at the other side of the bed and then swiveling her head around to take in the rest of the surrounding area. “I don’t know. She usually gets up early, doesn’t she? I’m sure she headed to her room to take a shower or something.”
“Maybe.” Lexa utters, standing from her place on the edge of the bed and walking around the room in a weird pacing form. Octavia can tell that her friend is worried about something.
“What’s going on, Lex?”
It’s almost as if Lexa doesn’t hear Octavia at first. There’s no physical or verbal sign shown that she had heard. Lexa’s nerves are practically shot. She is attempting to rid them from her body, but all she can think about is how badly she fucked everything up last night. She had almost kissed Clarke. Her best friend. ‘I’m getting married tomorrow.’ Lexa thinks to herself. ‘Who does that sort of thing?’ Her mind is whirling with various thoughts and sentiments. Hopefully, Clarke thinks that Lexa was too drunk last night and definitely doesn’t remember anything this morning. Hopefully, Clarke won’t be upset with Lexa about the whole ‘almost kiss’ thing. Hopefully, her best friend won’t bring it up at all. Hopefully.
“Earth to Lexa.” Octavia says, attempting to get her taller friend’s attention. It seems to work this time because Lexa’s eyes widen in surprise when she turns around. She must not have heard Octavia sneak up behind her.
“What?”
“What the hell is going on with you? Where did you go just now?” Her friend asks.
Lexa tries to rid her mind of all of her unrequited feelings for her best friend. The past several years, being around Clarke, she had learned to suppress her romantic feelings for the blonde. She knew after they had tried to be more than friends those first few months of knowing each other and Clarke just wasn’t in to the whole relationship thing, that she should hide back her feelings. It’s just really hard to do with Clarke is just so… Clarke. So perfect. So beautiful and friendly, and loveable and any other lovely adjective that she can rack up in her mind. Clarke doesn’t reciprocate those feelings. She knows this. ‘I’m engaged to Costia for Christ’s sake.’ She thinks.
“No where.” Lexa answers her friend, finally. “I’m sorry… just have a bad hangover.” She tries to smirk and hopes that Octavia buys into the flat out lie that she just told her.
Luckily, for her, she doesn’t have to wait around and find out, because just then her cell phone rings and she answers it without looking at the caller ID. “Hello?”
“Lex?”
Lexa looks up to Octavia and gives her a polite smile before the other girls mouths, ‘I’m gonna go,’ to her. Lexa nods her head in acknowledgement and turns back to speak into her phone. “Hey, Cos. Good morning.”
“Morning.” Her fiancé doesn’t sound like she’s in that great of a mood, which should surprise her really, after everything that happened last night. “Can we meet for breakfast? I need to talk to you.”
“Uhh – yeah. I can meet you in half an hour at The Belmont for brunch if you want.” Lexa answers her bride-to-be.
“That sounds good. See you then, babe.” Costia says before hanging up the phone.
Lexa stands in her spot for what feels like a lifetime before she is able to move. Her mind still running wild with the thoughts of Clarke’s breath against her own lips. The feeling of brushing her nose against her best friend’s and wanting desperately to close the gap between them. Lexa’s heart physically ached from the pain of this unreciprocated love that she has for Clarke. She knows that Clarke loves her… she’s just never been in love with her, and Lexa would just have to be happy with that.
But that was the thing…
She can’t be.
//
Knock. Knock. Knock.
The sound of her hotel room door being banged on three loud times shakes Clarke from her reflections and she quickly gets up to answer it. When she slings the door open, she finds Octavia. She tries not to let the disappointment show on her face, because she had secretly hoped that it was Lexa. “Octavia.” Clarke nods, walking back into the room, leaving the door open for her friend to make her way in as well.
“You look like shit.”
Clarke lets out a small chuckle because she knows. She knows that she looks like shit. She barely slept at all. All that she could think about was how badly she wanted Lexa to finally close the distance between their mouths last night and pull her friend into a passionate kiss. To finally be able to show her how much she actually means to her. “Thanks, O.”
“What’s going on with you?”
Without hesitation, she answers. “Lexa almost kissed me last night.”
It was almost comical how bugged out Octavia’s dark eyes became, and if Clarke wouldn’t have been so down and out about everything, she probably would have laughed. “What? When? That’s great! Why didn’t she?”
“It’s not great, O. She was drunk and if you wouldn’t have knocked on her room door when you did, I would have done something extremely dense, like kiss her back.” Clarke answers quickly, feeling out of breath from her emotions when she does so.
“How would that have been bad? You love her.” Octavia states before plopping down on the sofa that was furnished in Clarke’s hotel room.
“I do love her, but it wouldn’t have been right. She was drunk. She’s engaged to Costia and Lexa would be devastated if she cheated. I know her. It would eat her alive.” The blonde says, pacing back in forth in front of her small friend.
Octavia nods in understanding. She truly wishes that she could help her friends. She knows how much they care for each other. She knows how happy they make each other. “If only she remembered it. That would be good, right?” Octavia asks. “I mean… that would mean that she could just come right out and tell you how she really feels.”
“She was drunk, Octavia.” Clarke sounds more than a little frustrated as she runs her fingers through her blonde hair before getting caught in a tangle and letting out a loud groan. “God… this is such a mess. I’m such a mess.” She plops down on the couch beside her friend and lays her head over onto Octavia’s shoulder. “She was drunk.” Clarke repeats herself. “She didn’t know what she was doing.”
They sit there together for a while not speaking, because honestly, neither one of them knows what to say. Their chances are dwindling down. Lexa is getting married tomorrow. Octavia has no idea of what Clarke can do other than come out and just flat out tell Lexa that she’s in love with her, but she knows that Clarke won’t do that. Clarke won’t jeopardize her friendship with Lexa for a ‘maybe’. After a few minutes, there’s another knock on Clarke’s door. She let’s out a deep sigh and gets up to walk the short distance to see who it was this time.
“Wells!” Clarke grins and practically jumps into her friend’s arms, causing the man to laugh out loud. “What the hell are you doing here? In Chicago?”
“I thought that my friend might could use a little back up.” He grins. “How are things going here on the frontlines?”
Clarke’s smile falls when she realizes what he’s talking about. Over the next few minutes, after saying his ‘hellos’ to Octavia, Clarke starts to explain in detail everything that has happened between she and Lexa since she’s arrived in the Windy City. Both of her friends surround her in a tight group hug and hold her there, showing how much love and support that they have for her.
“This is my whole life’s happiness.” Clarke finally says a little dramatically. “I have to be ruthless.”
Wells chuckles a bit. “It’s going to be okay, Clarke.” He utters, leaning over to place a soft kiss to Clarke’s temple.
Clarke let’s out a long sigh and curls up in to Wells even closer. “I can make her happier than Costia can… and yes… maybe I am being a little bitchy and maybe even breaking Costia’s heart in the short run, but…” She doesn’t finish. She gets too lost in her own train of thought.
“Clarke…” Wells starts in again. He waits a minute because he’s not really sure about how to phrase what he wants to say to his friend. “Do you really love her… or is this just about winning?” Wells has known Clarke for a few years now, and if there’s one thing that Clarke Griffin is, it’s competitive. She hates losing. Maybe she just thinks she loves Lexa. Maybe she just doesn’t want to “lose” her best friend. “Seriously.”
Clarke looks down to where her hands are now clasped in her lap and she swallows at nothing. “In the beginning, it was mostly this prior prerogative… she belonged to me.” The blonde sounds as if she’s out of breath and Wells tightens his grip around her shoulders, showing her that he’s here for her. “But now, when I’m with her…” Clarke groans and lifts her hands to her eyes to wipe away the tears that have started to fall. “She’s just so amazing. I mean, how come I never realized that when I could have had her? She loved me, and I was too scared to be in a relationship. I was stupid.”
Wells smiles softly, even though Clarke isn’t looking at him. He looks over at Octavia who just intent on listening closely. “It’s astounding the clarity that comes with psychotic jealousy.” This causes Clarke to chuckle through her sobs and playfully slap her friend’s leg.
Clarke let’s her laughter die down before speaking again. “Wells… if she was feeling what I’m feeling, then she’d know how I feel.” Wells looks at her like that makes not a lick of sense, but he says nothing. “It’s awful.”
“Clarke, just tell her.” Clarke looks up to her friend through her tear-glassed eyes. “Tell her that you love her.” The blonde rolls her eyes and scoffs at the idea. “Tell her the truth. Tell her that you’ve loved her for nine years, but that you were afraid of love. Tell her that you were afraid of needing.”
Clarke scoffs again, but she’s most definitely been listening attentively. “Needing what?”
“To belong to someone.” He states assuredly and tears begin to fall from Clarke’s face again. He tries to soothe her by wrapping around her even tighter. “We all are, babe.” He grins down at her, and all that Clarke can think about is how lucky she is to have him here in her weakest hour. “Tell her that this is by far the cruelest, hardest, daftest moment to do this to her…but there it is. She’s got to choose.”
The blonde let’s out another sigh, but sits up straighter on the couch, rubbing the last of the tears away from her eyes. “God… this sucks. I can’t tell her the truth. I can’t do that to her. I can’t make her choose.”
Octavia’s eyes go wide after a few moments of quietness. A proverbial light bulb goes off in her head and Wells and Clarke look at her with furrowed brows. “What is it, Octavia?” The man asks in confusion.
“I just had a fantastic idea!” She grins widely. “It’s batshit crazy, but it’s fantastic.”
“What?” Clarke asks, sitting up with a little bit of hope flashing through her eyes. “What is it?”
“Lexa doesn’t know Wells, does she?”
Wells and Clarke shake their heads in unison and Octavia’s smile widens as she claps her hands together once.
“Great.” The smaller woman smiles and jumps up from her spot on the couch. “So, Clarke… you know how Lexa has almost been the jealous type?” The blonde nods her head. “If she has any romantic feelings for you, then don’t you think that she would hate seeing you happy and in love with someone else?” The smile on Octavia’s face is manic as she looks between Clarke and Wells before both of their eyes go wide in realization.
“Are you saying that we should make her think that Wells and I are together?” Clarke asks, sitting up straighter on the sofa and Wells laughs at the thought.
“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Clarke.” Octavia grins before she looks to Wells. “You in?”
“Damn straight.” He smirks. “This is going to be great.”
“I don’t know, guys. I don’t want to lie to her.” The blonde says.
“It will be fine, Clarke. Wells will be great because he won’t get attached to you and fall in love.” Octavia laughs, as does Wells. “Wells… give Clarke that ring on your finger.”
“What?” Wells and Clarke say in unison.
“You two are going to make it seem like Wells came here on a romantic whim and proposed to you over breakfast.”
“Propose?!” Clarke sputters out. “Octavia… there’s no way that she’ll believe that. She probably won’t even believe it when I tell her that we’re together. I would have mention something to her before now.”
“No… you can just tell her that you’ve been looking for the right time to tell her and that you didn’t want to steal the spotlight off of her wedding weekend. It’s perfect, Clarke. Really.” Octavia states excitedly. “You can tell her this evening at the dinner with Costia’s family and the wedding party.”
“I feel like this is a really bad idea.” The blonde says quietly, dipping her head down into her hands. Wells places a reassuring hand on her back and starts to rub small circles there.
“It will be fine, Clarke, but if you don’t want to do this… then we don’t have to. It’s your choice.”
Clarke stands up to pace around the room, knowing full well that both of her friends’ eyes are on her intently. After what seems to be only a couple of minutes, she spins around to look at Octavia. “Make sure that Raven knows about this too. Just so that she doesn’t freak out when I tell them all tonight.”
Octavia nods her head before reaching into her back pocket and grabbing her cell phone. She walks off to call and fill their new friend in on the outrageous plan.
“Okay.” Clarke breathes. “Let’s do this.”
//
Lexa, being the amazing friend that she is, is standing outside the restaurant where she is meant to have dinner with a large amount of Costia’s family and friends, as well as the wedding party, waiting for Clarke. She can’t help but be nervous. She hasn’t seen or spoken to Clarke since last night… when she “drunkenly” almost kissed her best friend, admitting that she “just wanted to be close” to Clarke. Lexa only arrived around five minutes ago. Another few minutes seems to pass by and Lexa catches a familiar blonde head in the sea of people along the sidewalk of the busy street. Once the crowd parts a little more, she notices that Clarke is most definitely not alone. There’s a man, a man that Lexa has never seen before, and he has his arm slung around her best friend. The both of them are laughing at something with their heads thrown back. They look genuinely happy, and Lexa just wants to know who this stranger is.
“Hey, Lex!” Clarke calls out as she approaches Lexa.
Lexa meets her halfway and pulls her into a hug before kissing Clarke on the cheek. “You look stunning, Clarke.” The brunette says matter-of-factly as she looks over Clarke’s shoulder and eyes the man who seems to be lingering back a good ways from them now. Clarke really does look gorgeous. She has on an ankle length, high-waisted maxi skirt in Lexa’s favorite color, (Navy. Just like Clarke’s maid of honor dress.), which would be fine if the slit in the skirt didn’t come up all the way past Clarke’s mid thigh.
Lexa immediately tries to swallow the dry lump that seems to have formed in her throat and she averts her eyes, hoping that Clarke didn’t just catch her staring hungrily at the beautiful, pale leg that is very, very visible. Clarke pairs the skirt with a pair of white pumps and thin, grey sweater tucked in with the sleeves pushed back. Her blonde hair is flowing freely over exposed shoulders and all that Lexa can think about is running her own long fingers through the curls. She has to immediately scold herself mentally for thinking about another woman in this way.
“Me?” Clarke grins and Lexa notices a slight blush starting to make it’s way onto Clarke’s face. “More like you. I mean… holy shit.” Clarke grins again and it was now Lexa’s turn to blush. Lexa was wearing a dress, which at first looked like a high-waisted black pencil skirt with a wide-sleeved, forest-green tank top tucked in. The cut of the shirt showed off Lexa’s gorgeous, toned and tanned arms and the shortness of the pencil skirt, if at all possible, made Lexa’s long legs look that much better.
Lexa finally decides to rip the Band-Aid off and go ahead and ask Clarke who this man, that had his arm around her, was. The brunette nods her chin over Clarke’s shoulder towards the guy. “Who’s this?”
Clarke had almost forgotten about Wells being there, and quite frankly, the whole plan in general. She was too caught up in Lexa. Lexa’s smile. Lexa’s eyes. Lexa’s legs. Lexa’s smell. Everything was just too much.
“Oh.” The blonde says in answer to Lexa’s inquisition. She brings her hand up to Lexa’s toned stomach and gently pushes her back a little bit so that the two of them had a little more privacy. Lexa’s heart was starting to beat faster at the touch of Clarke’s hand to her abdomen and the fact that Clarke looked so serious right now. She looked almost scared and in turn, it made Lexa feel scared. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now… about this.”
Clarke is nervous and Lexa can tell. What is she so nervous to tell her best friend? “About what?” The brunette questions.
The blonde is fidgety and she can’t even bear to look Lexa in her beautiful, green eyes. She doesn’t want to do this. She doesn’t want to lie to her best friend, but she has to know how Lexa truly feels about her. Clarke has to know, so she sticks with the plan. She sticks with being faked engaged to Wells so that she can see if Lexa become jealous or not.
This is the worst idea in the history of bad ideas.
Clarke turns around to look at Wells for moral support and the man quickly gives her a wide smile. Lexa doesn’t miss it and she immediately clenches her jaw tighter. She doesn’t know why. It just happens. “Clarke.” Her best friend spins back around to face her, breathless and a little spastic. “Who’s that guy?” She repeats her earlier question.
“Uhh… it –uh – it’s Wells.” She stumbles over her words and instantly feels like the biggest fool. “I – uh… I’ve told you about Wells.” Clarke squeaks out quickly. “He’s a colleague.” A colleague, Clarke? Really?
“Yeah.” Lexa nods her head. She recalls Clarke talking about the man every once in a while over the phone. That still doesn’t really answer the question that she really wants to know. “What’s he doing here? Are you guys working this weekend? Is there art around here that needs to be critiqued?” The brunette tries to tease, but it may have come off as a little bit insulting.
“No.” Clarke mutters, looking down at the pavement and shaking her head. The blonde feels her heart beating a scar across the inside of her chest and her breathing begins to quicken. She thinks that this is what a heart attack feels like. This is how she’s going to die. “He –uh… he’s here to be with me.”
“Why?”
“Becau – because he’s my friend. He’s my good friend.” Clarke shrugs her shoulders and let’s out a sarcastic chuckle. “My best friend these days.” And shit… she really didn’t mean to say that. It’s not entirely true, but it’s not entirely false either.
“Oh.” Lexa absentmindedly takes a step backwards. It’s a small step, but Clarke notices and she feels her heart shatter at the look of almost ruin on her best friend’s face.
“We’ve all just been busy.” Clarke adds softly and apologetically. “I – uh… Lex.” The brunette still looks defeated as she raises a brow. “We’re together. Wells and I. We’re… um, getting married.” The words spill out of her mouth and each one feels like a shard of glass cutting into her tongue and from the look on Lexa’s face… they’re cutting her too. Lexa’s emerald eyes are wide. They’re scared and skeptical. Clarke sees the moment that Lexa starts to feel out of the loop. She sees the moment that her best friend seems to lose a little bit of trust in her.
“Wh – why? I mean… how long have you been together?” The brunette practically chokes out, but she’s trying her best to stay strong and emotionless in front of the blonde. She doesn’t want Clarke to see how terribly and utterly devastated she truly is at this confession. “Why haven’t you told me before now?”
Clarke starts to say everything that she, Octavia and Wells had practiced over the past few hours in her hotel room. “It all just kind of snuck up on us. We’ve been good friends for a while now and a few months ago… it became something more.” Clarke looks down again. She’s ashamed. She’s ashamed that she’s lying to the one person who she’s always been honest with. The one person that she loves unconditionally. “I didn’t tell you about our engagement because I didn’t want to steal the thunder from yours and Costia’s weekend. This is about you two.” The blonde tries to smile up at her friend finally. “I’m sorry that I just kind of sprung this on you now.”
Lexa decides there and then that Clarke Griffin would never love Lexa the way that she loves her. She feels sick. Physically sick, but she doesn’t show it. No. She throws on her best fake smile. If Clarke is happy… then she should try to be happy for her best friend. Right? That’s what friends do. She pulls her friend in for a light hug. It’s stiff and a little awkward so Lexa decides to pull back. “I –uh... I’m happy for you, Clarke. Really. There’s something that I need to tell you to. Costia and I had breakfast this morning and the priest that is supposed to marry us tomorrow had an emergency come up. He can’t do the ceremony tomorrow and Costia won’t do the wedding without him. Supposedly, he’s been their priest since she was born.” Lexa rolls her eyes. “Anyways… uh – I’m sorry that you wasted the past couple of days here, but we moved the wedding to next Sunday.”
“What?” Clarke’s sure her face is in a state of shock because really… she had a whole other week to plot this out. Dammit.
“Yeah. I’m sorry.” Lexa shrugs. “I have to go back to New York for the week. Running a story on a couple of the new Yankee rookies.”
“Is Costia going with you?”
“No. Just me. She has to stay and tend to things around here.”
“You can stay with me.” Clarke rushes out in one breath and realizes that she just sounded way too eager to have Lexa stay with her for a week. The two of them. Alone. No Costia. “I –uh… I mean if you want.”
Lexa knows that she shouldn’t. She really shouldn’t. The closer she is to Clarke, the harder it is to stay away from her feelings. “What about Wells?”
“Oh… uh… he doesn’t live with me. Not yet. He will be busy most of the week anyway.” She doesn’t really know that, but she will make sure to tell Wells to give her space this upcoming week.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah.” Lexa answers. And she knows that it’s a terrible idea, but she can’t help herself. She can’t stay away. Not from Clarke. “If you’re sure that’s okay, then I would be really grateful to stay with you. Thank you, Clarke.”
“Of course.” Clarke smiles tentatively before Lexa walks the short distance over to Wells and holds out her hand with a small grin. It’s fake of course, but they don’t need to know that.
“Wells.” The brunette nods. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
The man smiles his trademark, wide smile and it’s even harder for Lexa to hate him. He shakes her hand firmly. “You as well, Lexa.”
“Congratulations.” They both say in unison before laughing uncomfortably.
“Shall we?” Lexa gestures to the door, looking between Clarke and Wells. The two of them nod and follow the taller woman into the restaurant.
//
Lexa, Clarke, and Wells all sit at a large dining table in the back of a really nice restaurant, that apparently Costia’s father owns, waiting for Costia and her family to arrive. The three haven’t said much to each other since they had gotten seated; both Lexa and Wells were obviously trying to create a little bit of small talk, but it just came off a really awkward when there would just be a one worded answer. Mostly from Lexa’s end.
Wells notices that Lexa isn’t really looking or talking with Clarke at the moment either. The brunette practically has her head on a swivel as she looks randomly around the dining area where they are seated. He decides that if Clarke isn’t going to help make this plan work, then he was going to have to take some initiative. The man slowly brings his arm to put it around his “fiancé” and Clarke tries to push him off when Lexa isn’t looking. The blonde can’t keep her eyes off of Lexa’s profile or her toned arms and legs. She keeps pushing Wells’ arm until she turns around to mouth, “Stop.” His grin widens because he is so going to torture Clarke right now.
Wells leaves his arm around Clarke’s shoulders, pulling his chair closer to her, as he brings his free hand to lean across his body and hold onto Clarke’s thigh. The look that she gives him is priceless and she still tries to move him away, but then Lexa looks their way and they both stop fidgeting. Lexa gives them both a small, half-smile. Clarke can tell that it’s forced and her heart aches to tell Lexa that she is most certainly not with Wells. “Is something wrong?” The blonde asks her best friend, trying to get a feel for what’s going on in Lexa’s mind right now. Her friend seems to be in her own world.
Lexa shrugs and squirms in her chair a bit, looking down at her hands that are neatly folded together in her lap. “No. I was just – I guess hearing you talk about Wells…” She nods her head in the man’s direction. “It just – it always seemed as if… I don’t know – “ Lexa struggles with her words and Clarke honestly can’t help but find it adorable and endearing. “It always sounded like Wells was –“
“Gay?” Wells pipes up, causing Clarke to turn around and glare at him before returning her eyes to her best friend.
“Actually…” Lexa answers quietly. “Yes.”
Wells erupts into a loud fit of laughter; his deep voice filling the eatery with his boisterous voice. He only continues; holding out his laughter and looking back and forth between Clarke and Lexa. Lexa just has a confused/amused look on her face while Clarke looks completely and utterly embarrassed. The blonde can’t help but think how bad of an idea this was.
‘I’m such a fucking idiot.’ She thinks to herself. ‘And I’m going to kill Wells.’
Wells’ laughter dies down just a bit. “Everyday misunderstanding.” Clarke realizes that she has to just dive in with him or else it would really turn out looking like a fake relationship. She joins in the laughter, slightly, twisting in her chair a bit and patting him on the chest.
“It really is.” Clarke chuckles out. “Because – uh – Wells likes to pretend that,” She pauses a bit before making herself laugh again, but this time it’s a genuine one because she keeps thinking to herself how stupid this sounds, but she says it anyways. “Wells likes to pretend that he’s gay.” She laughs through every word and so does her “fiancé”.
Lexa forces a laugh for a short moment, as her eyes crinkle still in confusion. She has no fucking idea what is going on and why Clarke is being so strange, and why Clarke would hold the information that she was engaged to someone from her. “Why would you do that?”
All of their laughter dissipates into the thin air amongst them. Clarke’s face goes blank because she hadn’t thought that far. She truthfully didn’t think that Lexa would think to ask ‘why’.
“Oh.” Wells’ smile then starts to reappear and he pinches Clarke’s shoulder. “I find that it attracts women.” He says as he leans in and starts placing kisses to Clarke’s neck. The blonde truly just wants to gag, but she can’t. Not with Lexa watching. Clarke subtly pushes Wells off of her and leans in to place and quick peck to his lips and chuckle before she turns back to face her best friend.
The blonde shrugs at Lexa’s interested look. “Worked for me.” She wants to slap Wells when she feels him nuzzle into her neck again. Luckily she doesn’t have to because the doors fly open and Costia and her family march in, followed by Octavia and Raven. They both give Clarke and Wells thumbs up. Clarke can only roll her eyes.
The table fills quickly with several people; upwards of twenty. Clarke only recognizes Costia, obviously, and her parents as well as Raven and Octavia. The others are complete strangers.
“So, Clarkey…” Octavia grins. “Did you tell everyone the big news?” Clarke practically gives herself whiplash as she quickly turns to look at her shorter friend. If she could, she would flip her the bird right now.
“Umm – I… we,” Clarke stutters, but then of course Wells’ loud mouth opens up.
“We told Lexa.” He says with a wide grin and he happens to notice the confused look on Costia and everyone else faces. “We’re getting married!” He practically screams and Clarke wants so bad to slump down into her seat and never see any of these people every again.
Except Lexa of course.
“What?” Costia practically jumps up and her smile is huge and actually genuine. Of course it is. Now she thinks that Clarke isn’t going to be after her woman. Clarke scoffs internally at the evil woman. “That’s fantastic!” She claps and so do her mother and everyone else at the table. She hears several ‘congratulations’ and ‘beautiful couple’ mumbled throughout the table. “Isn’t that great, Lex?” Costia asks her fiancé, scooting closer as she does so. She presses a long lingering kiss to Lexa’s cheek and Clarke doesn’t miss the side glance that Costia gives Clarke while her lips are pressed to her best friend.
“Yes.” Is all that Lexa says as she puts on her best fake smile. Clarke’s heart sinks once again. This is so wrong.
“I think I’m going to cry.” Costia says, bringing her hand up to her chest and Clarke honestly wants to jump over the table and knock the bitch out. Clarke can tell how full of shit Costia is and it makes her stomach churn.
“Me too.” Clarke says awkwardly, looking down at her hands in her own lap. Wells is quick to take one of hers in his and give it a squeeze. Clarke can tell though that it’s a friend squeeze and not a fake fiancé squeeze. Wells is just letting her know that he’s still right here with her.
After a while, after everyone had gotten their food and most people were occupied eating their dinner, Costia starts another conversation that makes Clarke want to hit her once again. She leans over like she is going to try and be quiet about it, but she’s loud enough that Lexa and Wells hear her as well. “I have to be honest, Clarke.” Her voice drives Clarke insane. The blonde raises an eyebrow. “I was really worried about you. After all of the stories that Lexa has told me about you… all of those broken relationships. All of those different lovers.” Clarke knew that Lexa had told Costia about how Clarke wasn’t a relationship person, and honestly, Clarke wasn’t. That’s the whole reason that she didn’t stay with Lexa in the beginning. She was scared of relationships. Scared of love. It was weakness. Always had been, but hearing the way that Costia said it made her feel like an awful human being. “It must have hurt going through so many and never finding the right one. And the whole time, the love of your life was right in front of you.” Clarke knew that she was clearly talking about Wells, but the blonde couldn’t help looking across the table from her and meeting the mesmerizing gaze of Lexa’s green eyes.
Wells sees Clarke’s eyes stare at Lexa a little too long and he nudges her with his leg, causing her to turn her gaze elsewhere. She tried to swallow down all of her feelings in this moment. She couldn’t falter. Not right now. Not in front of all of these people. She honestly just wants to lock herself up in her hotel room and cry for a straight week.
Clarke writhes in her chair and tries to will herself not to look like a kicked puppy. Lexa must notice because she clears her throat and takes a long swig of her water, causing everyone to look at her. She only raises her eyebrows.
After what feels like an eternity, Costia’s mother leans over closer to Wells. “Wells, how did you and Clarke meet?”
Clarke jumps in and answers quickly because she really doesn’t want Wells coming up with something crazy off the fly like this. God can only imagine what he would say. “Wells is a colleague.” Mrs. Daniels lifts a brow as if to say, ‘That’s it? That’s the story?’ Clarke decides to throw in a little bit extra so that it’s not too unconvincing. “We met three years ago at an art show in Bronx. We became really close friends and – uh – it kind of just blossomed from there.” Maybe that would hold them off. It wasn’t a lie. That was actually how they met. At least that’s one truth that she’s been able to tell today.
“Actually,” Wells butts in and Clarke turns to him with a look that says, ‘You better not.’ He ignores her, pulling her in closer to his side with a grin and placing a kiss to the crown of her blonde head. “It’s a rather romantic story.” He answers, looking over to Costia’s mother. “Would you like to tell it, babe?” Wells asks, looking down at Clarke. Lexa grimaced at hearing someone call Clarke ‘babe.’ Someone that wasn’t her.
“No.” She answers maybe a little too quickly. “That’s uh – that’s private.”
“Not anymore.” He grins and turns back to the rest of the table. Clarke sighs and practically drops her head into her plate of food in front of her. “So… here I was, walking around with a pen and legal pad in this unheard of gallery in the Bronx, when the doors open and I see a sight that literally takes my breath away. A vision. In pink.” He adds and Clarke rolls her eyes imperceptibly.
“Pink?” Lexa chimes in, causing Clarke to finally look up. Lexa looks straight up pissed off. She either doesn’t realize it, or she doesn’t care. Costia seems to notice because she reaches over and squeezes Lexa’s hand. “You don’t wear pink.” She said matter-of-factly, looking over at Clarke.
“Oh yes she does.” Wells grins, ignoring the fact that he almost messed everything up. “Sometimes, Lexa… she does wear pink, and might I say that she looks positively radiant.” He leans in to kiss Clarke’s cheek. She glares at him. “You do.”
Clarke turns back to look at Lexa and says, “I do.” Lies. It’s all lies. Lies on top of lies on top of lies. Lexa’s jaw wiggles and clenches. Clarke knows this to be one of her nervous or sometimes angry ticks that she always does. No one else could ever pick up on it but Clarke. Not even Costia.
“Anyways…” Wells begins again after being interrupted by Lexa. “I looked over to my buddy John and said ‘Wow. I have to meet that girl’ and John pushes me over to her. I was so nervous, but once she spoke, all of my nerves seemed to disappear.”
If it were possible for someone to get their eyes stuck from rolling them so many times, then it would have happened to Clarke today.
“It was only a simple, ‘hi’, but it was the most beautiful thing that I have ever heard.” Wells says, causing Clarke to almost choke on the water that she was sipping on. “In that moment I knew…”
“Knew what?” Costia asks with a wide smile.
“No one cares about this, Wells.” Clarke says, hoping that he would just shut up. She was uncomfortable and Lexa most surely was from the way she was acting.
“They’re just curious, Clarke.” Wells grins.
“I certainly am.” Lexa chimes in, but her voice is low and harsh and Clarke can feel it like its a million sharp daggers being thrown into her heart. Lexa is pissed. She’s upset. She’s hurt. And all that Clarke can think is that she did this. She screwed this up.
“What did you know?” Costia rings in again, ignoring Lexa’s pouty attitude.
Wells sits up straighter in his chair. “I knew… that someday we would end up like this: engaged, like some dazzling Doris Day-Rock Hudson spectacular.” That comment earns him a lot of ‘awws’ and ‘how sweets’. Clarke can’t bring herself to meet Lexa’s eyes. She doesn’t have to see them to know that they are currently boring a hole through her. “And don’t get me wrong… John is my friend, but he’s quite possibly clinically insane. I tell him that I think I’m in love with this girl and he looks me in the eyes and says…”
“What? What?” Costia jumps in as do a couple of more people down the table who are listening to the conversation. “What did John say?”
Wells thinks for a bit before he looks down and winks at Clarke. He starts to sing out loud. Like really loud and Clarke wants to die right now.
THE MOMENT I WAKE UP
Costia starts to giggle, as does her mother and Raven and Octavia. Clarke is sure that her other two friends are having the best night of their lives watching her suffer through this. Wells continues to sing.
BEFORE I PUT ON MY MAKE-UP
Costia’s mother joins in now.
I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU
Everyone is laughing and guests who aren’t even with them are laughing as well as clapping. Costia is loving this all too much. She must see how uncomfortable Clarke is. The blonde doesn’t see Lexa squirm once again in her seat, clenching her jaw even tighter and grinding her teeth down together.
WHILE COMBING MY HAIR NOW
WHILE WONDERING WHAT DRESS TO WEAR NOW
Wells is using some sort of hand gestures as he sings and this time… Clarke does sink down into her seat. Raven and Octavia decide to join in the singing too and Clarke is sure to send them a glare. They ignore it of course.
I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU
What happens next makes Clarke think that maybe she’s only dreaming. No. Not dreaming. This is a nightmare. One hellish nightmare that she hopes she wakes up from soon. Really soon. The whole table and people from other tables start to sing along. ‘Like, what the hell is this? What is happening? Am I being Punk’d? Is this a live episode of GLEE?’ All of these thoughts run through her mind. This couldn’t be worse.
FOREVER AND EVER
YOU’LL STAY IN MY HEART
AND I WILL LOVE YOU
FOREVER AND EVER
WE NEVER WILL PART
Costia is singing the loudest, clasping her hands over her heart while looking at Lexa and then back at Clarke with a wink. Clarke almost jumps the table right then. Bitch.
OH HOW I LOVE YOU
TOGETHER FOREVER
THAT’S HOW IT MUST BE
TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU
WOULD ONLY MEAN HEARTBREAK FOR ME
And Clarke was wrong earlier when she thought that it couldn’t possibly get worse because just then, one of the servers at the restaurant sits down at the piano in the corner and starts to play along with their words, using the upbeat tempo. She rolls her eyes. ‘Like, does every-fucking-body know this song?’
Wells throws his arm back around Clarke and leans in to her, grazing his lips across her ear as he sings. She’s disowning him after this. That’s for sure.
I RUN FOR THE BUS, DEAR
WHILE RIDING I THINK OF US, DEAR
The crowd joins him again for the next few words.
HE SAYS A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU
Wells kisses her cheek. Clarke wants to seriously cry, but this is her fault. She agreed to this. To making Lexa jealous. She’s such a horrible fucking friend. Her gaze finally travels across the table to her best friend. Lexa looks like she wants to be sick. The brunette is shaking her head and looking down at the table. Costia doesn’t even seem to notice or care.
AT WORK I JUST TAKE TIME
AND ALL THROUGH MY COFFEE BREAK TIME
I SAY A LITTLE PRAYER FOR YOU
Everyone is singing and Costia clenches to Lexa singing to her. Lexa tries to smile, but it doesn’t happen.
FOREVER AND EVER
YOU’LL STAY IN MY HEART
AND I WILL LOVE YOU
FOREVER AND EVER
WE NEVER WILL PART
OH HOW I LOVE YOU
TOGETHER FOREVER
THAT’S HOW IT MUST BE
TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU
WOULD ONLY BE HEARTBREAK FOR ME
Wells kisses her cheek again and Raven and Octavia wolf whistle. She’s disowning them too.
MY DARLING, BELIEVE ME
FOR ME THERE IS NO ONE BUT YOU
Clarke can see Lexa’s breathing pick up and her best fried… her Lexa… looks as if she’s about to cry. Clarke only wants to comfort her. Clarke thinks that this may be the answer that she’s looking for. Lexa does care about her… but to what capacity?
PLEASE LOVE ME TOO
ANSWER HIS PRAYER
AND I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU
ANSWER HIS PRAYER NOW, BABY
ANSWER MY PRAYER, BABY
ANSWER HIS PRAYER
SAY YOU LOVE ME TOO
The pianist is going to town on the piano in the corner and the whole restaurant is clapping along to the beat of the music. Clarke’s eyes are latched onto Lexa’s. They stare at each other the whole time. They’re the only ones not singing.
FOREVER AND EVER
YOU’LL STAY IN MY HEART
AND I WILL LOVE YOU
FOREVER AND EVER
WE NEVER WILL PART
OH HOW I LOVE YOU
TOGETHER FOREVER
THAT’S HOW IT MUST BE
TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU
WOULD ONLY MEAN HEARTBREAK FOR ME
The song ends with Raven and Octavia trying and failing to do some sort of vocal run. ‘Thank God that’s over’ Clarke thinks. She wants to run away. Like now. Everyone is smiling and laughing and clapping. Everyone except Lexa. Clarke tries to put on a smile, but it doesn’t last long.
//
“Okay!” Clarke exclaims, pushing Wells into the door of the airport while she stays out side. His flight is leaving to take him back to the city. Her flight back isn’t until later tonight. “You’ve made your point.” She says. “I’m never fake dating you again. Get out of here.” Clarke tries to sound annoyed, but she really can’t be. Not at Wells. “I will call you at the turn of the century when I have forgiven you.”
Wells sticks out his tongue like a child. He then pulls her in for a warm hug. “Tell her, Clarke. Just tell her.”
He turns to walk through the doors of the airport before Clarke calls out to him, stopping him in his tracks. “Wells!”
“What will she do?” Clarke breathes out. Half of her wanting to know the answer and the other half not.
Wells walks back over to her with a small, sad smile. “She’ll choose Costia.” He says, taking Clarke’s breath from her. “And you’ll stand beside her on their wedding day…” Clarke thinks that he’s finished as she wonders what the hell kind of pep talk this was supposed to be. “Or…” Thank God there’s an ‘or’. “She’ll choose you. My vote is on the latter.” He smiles, causing Clarke to smile a little bit too. “You got this.” He kisses her head once more before walking out of her sight.
Clarke walks very slowly back to the awaiting cab where Lexa awaits her. She hasn’t said anything to Clarke since the restaurant and Clarke knows that she has to tell her. She has to tell Lexa that she and Wells are not together and that she was right about him being gay. Clarke is terrified to say the least.
When she gets back to the cab, she sits down in the back seat next to her best friend. She makes sure to leave enough space between them so as they’re not touching. This is so different than how they usually are. They’ve never been afraid to be all touchy-feely with each other. Things are different now. “Lex.” Clarke breathes out and she really hopes that the other woman can’t hear how hard her heart is beating in her chest right now. Her best friend looks over to her, finally meeting her blue eyes for what feels like an eternity and it’s like she can breathe a little easier now. “Wells isn’t my fiancé.” There’s no emotion on Lexa’s stoic face right off, so Clarke continues. “I lied.”
“Why?” Her voice isn’t recognizable.
“I – uh… I…I didn’t want you to think that I was the same person.” Lexa raises a brow. “I’m not who I used to be, Lexa. I’m not scared of relationships anymore.”
All that Lexa can think of is ‘why is Clarke telling me this?’
When Lexa doesn’t say anything and just looks straightforward at the back of the driver’s headrest, Clarke continues once more. “No one could ever stack up to the one person that I measure everyone against.” That’s quite possibly the most honest thing that Clarke Griffin has ever said in her life. She notices Lexa let out a breath that she had been seemingly holding in for quite a while.
“This is unexpected.” Lexa finally says, causing Clarke to let out a breath of her own. What the hell does that mean? “I – uh, when you – when you told me that, uh – you were engaged to him. To Wells. I got this really, really odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.” Lexa is still looking forward and she chuckles sarcastically to herself, while shaking her head as if she can’t believe what she’s trying to say.
“You were jealous?” Clarke breathes out. Her heart is stuck somewhere in her throat, causing her words to barely come out.
Lexa turns then, green clashing against blue. There’s a small smile on Clarke’s face because she doesn’t know what else to do. Lexa’s mouth is parted a little bit and there’s still no emotion showing whatsoever on her face. The brunette surprises Clarke and nods once. “Stupid jealous.” Lexa answers honestly.
Clarke officially can’t breath and all that she can think of is moving in and kissing her best friend. The blonde chances a glance down at Lexa’s full lips. Clarke decides against kissing her though. This isn’t the time. There are still things that need to be said (a lot of things), but at least this is beginning.
Lexa looks away again, down at her lap where she’s ringing her hands together. The brunette clears her throat. “Could we… uh – maybe… when I get to the city in a couple of days… just hang out? Spend more time alone together?” Clarke can tell that Lexa is terrified and can’t believe that she’s actually speaking her thoughts. She looks back up to Clarke with a small grin on her face. “Would that be okay?”
Clarke nods her head once. “I think that I’d like that very much.” She answers honestly with a small smile of her own. All that Lexa can think of is how beautiful Clarke is and how she wishes that she could just take her best friend in her arms and hold onto her and never let go. She’s starting to really rethink every decision that she’s made in the past few months, but for now… for now she’s going to spend as much time with Clarke as she can before her wedding in a week.
“I would too.”