Chapter 6
It’s Sunday evening, and Clarke is finally back in New York City. The flight from Chicago had seemed to go on forever. She had entirely too much time to sit around and meditate about the things that had gone down the past few days.
One: She immediately found out that she loathed Costia.
Two: Lexa was still the most perfect human being on the face of the Earth.
Three: Lexa seemed miserable.
Four: It took all of Clarke’s will power to not practically jump Lexa every second.
Five: Lexa almost kissed her while she was intoxicated.
Six: Clarke almost let it happen.
Seven: Clarke almost screwed everything up by pretending to be with Wells.
Clarke could really go on with all of these thoughts for the rest of the night, but she has to drag her mind away. She can’t dwell on those facts. She can’t worry herself with that type stuff right now. All that she can think about is that it is Sunday night and Lexa should be married right now.
Thank you God for that priest needing to reschedule.
Now Clarke has almost a full week with Lexa, alone, before she actually does get married. Hopefully Clarke will grow the hell up and tell her best friend how she really feels. Luckily, Clarke has at least a few hours before Lexa gets here. Her friend’s flight doesn’t land until tomorrow morning. Lexa had to stay behind to spend another night with Costia, since her fiancé would be staying in Chicago for some last minute plans now that she had the time to work on them.
Clarke is fairly certain that Lexa has not told Costia about the whole ‘being engaged to Wells’ thing was fake. The blonde is also confident that Costia would shit a golden brick if she knew that Lexa plans on staying with Clarke at her apartment. Hopefully, her friend will keep that little piece of information quite.
After Clarke unpacks all of her things that she had taken with her to Chicago, she sets to work on tidying up her place a bit. She’s usually quite orderly, but the week leading up to Lexa’s untimely call had been hectic and she barely had time to even be at her apartment, much less clean it. A couple of hours went by; Clarke had managed to wash her bed sheets, mop the floors, and do a bit of dusting. She then realized that she had absolutely no groceries, and since she knew that she wouldn’t get a wink of sleep anyways, she decided to run a couple of blocks down to the nearest market.
She didn’t realize until she got home, that everything that she had bought was Lexa’s favorite things. She had purchased all of the items subconsciously, knowing that her best friend would be here in just a few short hours.
Clarke has to admit to herself that she is unequivocally petrified. She knows exactly what she wants, but that doesn’t make it any simpler. She still has know idea how her best friend feels about her. Clarke knows that the way that Lexa clammed up on Saturday when she found out about Clarke and Wells’ “engagement” and the way she got extremely irritable was really weird. Very unlike Lexa, but that was what they were going for with that plan… was it not? To see if Lexa would become, dare she say it, jealous? Just the thought of her best friend harboring some sort of romantic feelings for her makes her heart flutter.
Once Clarke has all of the groceries put up in their proper place, she decides to take a shower and then move to the couch to watch a little bit of Netflix. She hasn’t had time for any in so long. She decides that she should probably text her boss and let him know that she probably won’t be working much this week. She needs this time with her friend.
CLARKE: (1:23AM) - Boss, I know it’s late, but I may not work much this week. Got some personal stuff going on.
The response is almost immediate. Of course he’s up. He never sleeps.
MARCUS (1:25AM) - Sure thing, Griffin. Let me know if you need anything.
She smiles, but before she can even set her phone back down on the end table beside the couch, it buzzes again.
LEXA (1:28AM) – Can’t sleep.
CLARKE (1:28AM) – Me either.
CLARKE (1:29AM) – Something wrong?
LEXA (1:30AM) – So many things.
CLARKE (1:32AM) – Lex… Talk to me.
LEXA (1:35AM) – Some things are better left unsaid. Better kept to yourself.
CLARKE (1:36AM) – Can I call you?
LEXA (1:36AM) – No.
LEXA (1:37AM) – Costia’s beside me.
CLARKE (1:39AM) – Okay.
CLARKE (1:40AM) – What time should I pick you up in the morning?
LEXA (1:42AM) – You don’t. I’ll just catch a cab so you don’t have to get up. Spare key still under the plant beside the door?
CLARKE (1:42AM) – Yes.
LEXA (1:45AM) – Okay. Goodnight, Clarke.
CLARKE (1:46AM) – Goodnight, Lexa.
Clarke sinks down into her couch. She wants to cry. Why won’t Lexa talk to her? What’s going on in that beautiful mind of hers? There’s so many questions that she has. So many of them for her best friend and she’s not sure that she’ll ever get a straight answer. Not now.
The blonde doesn’t fall asleep until somewhere around four in the morning. She probably wouldn’t have fallen asleep then, but she just kind of passed out from exhaustion. Needless to say, her sleep was restless because she had too many things going on in her mind. Too many to relax, even in her sleep.
//
It’s nine in the morning in New York, and a very exhausted Lexa finally makes it to her destination. Clarke’s apartment. She was finally able to catch a cab at the airport, after having waited for what felt like an eternity. The tall, brunette woman pulls her suitcase to a stop right in front of the apartment door that she hasn’t set foot into in such a long time. It’s been so long since she and Clarke were just able to hang out together, just the two of them, in a personal setting such as this. Lexa reaches down and lifts up a small potted plant until she can see the small key that’s taped to the underside of the pot. She grabs it and moves to unlock the door quietly before placing the key back where it belongs.
As she walks into the apartment, she notices that all of the lights are off. Clarke must still be asleep. Her friend probably didn’t go to bed until super late too. Lexa pulls her suitcase in with her before shutting the door softly and leaving her bag there to go check on Clarke. She takes slow, tentative steps towards Clarke’s bedroom only to notice that her beautiful, blonde friend had fallen asleep on the couch in the living room.
Now, to Lexa, Clarke has always been gorgeous. The blonde always manages to take her breath away, but in this moment, with Clarke curled up against the back cushions of the couch, her blonde hair scattered over the armrest and the faint glow of the sun coming through one of the two windows in the living room, makes Clarke look like an angel. It sounds so cliché, but it’s the truth. Lexa’s heart melts at how simple yet stunning the blonde seems in this instant. She knows that she shouldn’t, but Lexa throws out all of the ‘no’s’ that keep popping into her head, and she makes her way over to the couch. Lexa kicks off her tennis shoes and slides them under the coffee table. She then removes her light jacket and throws it across the recliner next to the couch. Slowly, she slides in behind her best friend and grabs a blanket that’s draped over the back of the sofa. Lexa gently drapes it over the both of them before she curls up behind Clarke, wrapping her arms around her tightly, but not tight enough to wake her up.
Clarke must have taken a shower before she fell asleep, because Lexa can still smell her fresh shampoo as she presses her nose to the back of her best friend’s head. The sun may be out, and it may be a brand new day, but it doesn’t take long for sleep to find her as she snuggles up closer to the blonde in front of her.
//
“Lexa.”
The brunette stirs a little bit from her sleep when she hears something that sounds like her name. Someone is calling her. She doesn’t open her eyes, and she starts to fall back into her slumber when she hears it again.
“Lex.”
The sound sends a shiver up her spine and she’s sure that if she were to look, she would have goose bumps covering her tanned skin. Lexa feels something move against her and she finally opens her green eyes. Her vision is blurry at first and it takes a while for her senses to adjust to the light in the room. Where is she? Why is her body so warm? She’s almost sure that she’s sweating. She feels the movement beside her again.
“Lexa?”
‘Oh shit… it’s Clarke. I’m at Clarke’s apartment. I barely remember getting here.’ Lexa thinks to herself. Her vision finally decides to cooperate with her and she realizes that she’s on the couch and her face is smashed against a mess of blonde tangles. “Clarke?”
“There she is.” She can practically hear the grin in her best friend’s voice. “You’re squeezing me to death, Lex.” It’s then that the brunette realizes that she has her long arms wrapped around Clarke and is holding her impossibly close.
“Shit.” Lexa mutters, sitting up quickly on her spot on the couch. “Sorry.” Her voice is low and raspy from her sleep and Clarke just happens to love it that way.
“Hey.” Clarke whispers, turning around on the couch, but still lying down. The blonde reaches for Lexa’s hand and pulls her back down to lie beside her. “I didn’t say that you had to get up.” Clarke grins and Lexa’s sure that her heart can’t possibly melt any further. She gets comfortable back in her lying position on the couch, but this time they’re facing each other. Lexa feels her breath hitch when she catches a glimpse of Clarke’s cerulean eyes for the first time in the past few days. They’re even brighter in the mornings. She had almost forgotten, although she’s not sure how she could forget something like that. “What time did you get in?” Clarke asks her after a few moments of silence.
Lexa clears her throat, hoping that her voice doesn’t give away the slight attraction that she’s feeling towards her best friend right now. Okay. It’s a little more than a ‘slight attraction’. This is so wrong. “Around nine I think.”
“You should have woken me up.”
“You were exhausted, Clarke. You didn’t sleep much, I know, and neither did I.” Lexa brings herself to form a small grin. “I only wanted to sleep.”
“I have a rather large bed in the room down the hallway.” Clarke teases. “You would have been more comfortable down there.”
Lexa’s grin widens a little more before she slides down the couch a bit and snuggles her face into the area under Clarke’s chin, into her neck. “No.” Clarke hears Lexa utter into her skin, causing the blonde to shiver and her pale skin to blush. “I wouldn’t have.”
Clarke won’t lie… that came across as a little more than friendly, not that she minded. She secretly loves that Lexa would rather curl up on the tiny couch with her than head down the hallway to the huge, empty bed. For a moment, she forgets that her best friend is engaged to be wed in less than a week. This feels like them. This feels like how they’ve always been. Close and intimate without feelings getting in the way… but now there are feelings. At least on Clarke’s side.
“Why weren’t you in the bed, Miss Griffin?” Lexa asks, finally looking up from underneath Clarke’s chin. Lexa has one brow raised and Clarke finds it rather endearing… and sexy. She always has.
The blonde above her shrugs. “I couldn’t tell you the last time that I slept in my bed.”
“What? Why?”
“Just feels like too big a place for lonely ol’ me.” Clarke smiles a half smile. “It makes me feel alone, so I just come in here usually and fall asleep on the sofa. It’s pretty comfy actually.”
Lexa wants nothing more than to kiss the sad smile off of Clarke’s face and tell her that she will never have to be lonely again. Tell her that she’ll be here with her until her last breath…but that’s not something that a best friend says, and that’s all that she is to Clarke. She knows that. “Well… you won’t be lonely this week, Griffin.” Lexa grins. “I will most definitely be using the bed. I can’t sleep on this couch anymore. You’ll have to join me.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep.” Lexa answers, popping the ‘p’. “Friend rules.”
“Whatever.” Clarke teases, rolling her eyes in the process. “You’re such a dork.” She adds before leaning down and pressing a kiss to her best friend’s forehead. Clarke didn’t notice the way that Lexa’s breath completely stopped in the millisecond. She didn’t feel the brunette’s heart beating against her chest like a bass drum. She couldn’t see the unreserved look of affection flash across the jade eyes before her. “What do you want to do today?” Clarke asks after pulling her soft lips away from her friend’s head.
Lexa nods her head upwards and shrugs exhaustively. “Can we just…Netflix and chill?”
Clarke’s smile is almost blinding before she chuckles and kisses Lexa’s forehead again. “Thank God.” The blonde laughs again, pulling Lexa closer. “I was hoping that you wouldn’t want to get out today.”
“Great minds think alike.” Lexa grins and then turns towards the television when Clarke clicks the remote and turns on Netflix. She’s now the little spoon and she loves it.
//
“So,” Clarke begins as she stands up from the sofa after a full night of watching Netflix. The blonde stretches her arms out above her head and tries to stifle the yawn with her words. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”
“I have a pretty busy day, unfortunately.” Lexa mutters, reciprocating the yawn that Clarke had just let out. The brunette stretches out on the couch now that the blonde’s space is empty. “I’ll be heading over to Yankee Stadium pretty early. I have to meet with one of the new rookies for a write up.”
Clarke let’s out a loud, over exaggerated groan. “So jealous.” This causes Lexa to chuckle and the sound sets Clarke’s heart ablaze. “I thought that you said you were interviewing two rookies.”
“You mean you were actually listening to me?” Lexa teases, and laughs again when Clarke flips her the bird from her place in the kitchen.
“I always listen to you, Woods.”
“Yeah, yeah…” Lexa grins again. “But no… you’re totally right. The other interview is actually on Wednesday. Want me to let you know if either one of them is attractive? I might be able to get you set up.” The brunette jokes, wiggling her eyebrows.
“No thanks. I’ve got my eye on someone else.” Clarke replies before she even realizes what she is saying. She holds her breath and prays that Lexa doesn’t question her further. Maybe her best friend will just think that Clarke was joking or something.
“Oh you do, do you?” Lexa teases Clarke, but doesn’t want to admit the sharp pain of jealous that shoots through her entire body, consuming her every being. Who they hell could Clarke have her eye on? Lexa wonders if she is bigger than them. Maybe she could take them, but this really isn’t something that she should be thinking. She’s getting married. Soon. Like really, really soon. “Who might that be?”
“Wouldn’t you like the know?” Clarke shoots back as she walks past the couch and into her bedroom. She doesn’t bother shutting the door as she starts to change clothes. Lexa thinks that she must have just forgotten about her being here. This is Clarke’s place anyways. She’s just comfortable here and is used to changing with the door wide open.
Lexa tries not to look. She really, truly does. It’s just very hard to do, and she’s never been a person with an abundant amount of restraint. Her mouth goes dry when she sees the pale, bare skin of her best friend as she slips out of her t-shirt and bra. Clarke quickly throws on another big t-shirt, to Lexa’s dismay. Clarke then bends over as she slowly pulls off her blue jeans. It’s almost as if it’s happening in slow motion and that she knows that Lexa is watching. The blonde spins around quickly after she loses her jeans and Lexa hastily averts her eyes, hoping and praying that she didn’t just get caught in the act. She moves her hand up to wipe a small bit of drool that had begun to form on the corner of her mouth, before she looks down at her phone. She should really text Costia, but her fiancé will more than likely be full of questions about what hotel she’s staying at. Lexa didn’t lie to Costia, she just didn’t tell her the whole truth. She couldn’t possibly tell her that she was staying in Clarke’s one bedroom apartment with her. World War III would be sure to start not long after that.
“What’s wrong with you?” Clarke asks, exiting the bedroom and Lexa lifts her eyes back to her best friend. Lexa’s green eyes broaden at the sight. Clarke didn’t put pants back on. Dammit. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.” The blonde chuckles.
Lexa clears her throat and suddenly realizes that she’s staring at Clarke’s bare legs. She veers her eyes once again to something other than the vast amount of soft skin in front of her. “Uh – umm… nothing.” Good job, Lexa. You fucking idiot. “I’m just – uh… tired.”
“Well let’s get you to bed then.” Clarke smiles and Lexa wonders how it’s possible to fall more in love with a person every time they smile.
Lexa forms a grin on her face before shaking her head and replying to her best friend. “I’m going to sleep on the couch. I couldn’t possibly ask you to share a bed with me, Clarke.”
“What?” Clarke asks her friend in shock. “I don’t think so, missy. You told me that you would sleep with me in my bed so that I didn’t have to be lonely.” The blonde’s hands are on her hips and she’s trying to sound domineering. “Get your ass up off that couch this instant, Alexandria Woods.” Lexa sneers at her full name. She hates it and Clarke knows it. “Now.”
“Geez…” Lexa throws her hands in the air as she stands up from the couch. “Alright, alright… I’m going.”
“That’s what I thought.” Clarke grins to a passing Lexa.
After a few minutes of getting ready for bed, the two girls pile into Clarke’s large, empty bed. The sheets are fresh and smell fantastic. Like lavender and fabric softener. “Clarke…” Lexa groans. “Are you going to put on pants?”
“No.” She answers firmly. “This is how I sleep. Why?” The blonde grins. “Does this bother you, Lexa?” Clarke is feeling daring and overly flirtatious right now. She moves over way too close to her friend, taking over a lot of Lexa’s personal space and Clarke swears that she hears the brunette’s breath hitch a little.
“Nope.” Lexa barely manages to get out through her held breath. “Not at all. You do whatever you want, Clarke.”
“Whatever I want?” Clarke wiggles her eyebrows up and down and Lexa laughs out loud.
“Within reason.”
“We’ll see.” Clarke teases again. “Who knows? By the end of this week… I may be completely naked.” The blonde winks and Lexa holds her breath again before rolling her eyes and flipping onto her other side so that she’s not facing Clarke. She hears the blonde’s gorgeous laugh before anything else. “Night, Lex.”
Lexa lets out her breath. “Goodnight, Clarke.”
//
The next morning, Clarke is in her kitchen making a pot of coffee when she hears a soft knock on the door. It’s still early and she wonders who could possibly be here at this hour. Lexa, looking more beautiful in her sleep than anyone should possibly look, was still fast asleep in Clarke’s bed. The blonde didn’t have the heart to wake her up just yet. Her friend looked so content. Not like when she was awake. Clarke knew that something was going on in her best friend’s mind. She seemed closed off and distant lately. It hurt Clarke’s soul to think that there was something that was seriously bothering Lexa. She must remember to finally bring up Costia again at some point during this week.
Clarke sits her coffee mug down on the counter and saunters over to the door. She doesn’t have a peephole there, so she undoes the two latches that lock her door securely and opens it to see two people that she was definitely not expecting.
“What up, Griff?” Raven grinned wickedly.
“Clarkey!” Octavia chimed in as well, her grin mirroring that of Raven’s.
Clarke was sure that her narrowing eyes were enough to give away her question to her friends, but she voiced it anyways. “What are you two doing here?”
“Nice to see you too.” Octavia deadpans, brushing past Clarke with Raven right on her heels.
Raven lets out a low whistle as she takes in her surroundings. “This is a nice place you got here, Clarke.”
“Thank you.” Clarke smiles before Octavia lets out a burst of laughter after Raven almost knocks a frame off of the wall. “Ssshhhh…” Clarke tries to shush her friends and that’s when it hits her… unless Lexa happened to tell them that she was staying here, then they don’t know she’s here. Shit. She just gave them away. These two will never let her and Lexa hear the end of this.
Sure enough, Octavia whirled around to face the blonde, after she so rudely shushed her, and furrowed her brow in question at her friend’s odd behavior. “Why are we being quite? Do you have a hangover or something?”
“No.” Clarke looked shy in this moment…. She knew that she did, she just didn’t know how to go about explaining that her best friend, the girl that she’s majorly in love with and who is getting married in a matter of days, is asleep in her bed. To make matters worse, Clarke only just now realizes that she is still only wearing her big t-shirt and panties. Double shit. “Uhh… Lex – Lexa is asleep.”
Octavia’s eyes widen and she quickly turns to look at Raven to see if she had heard the newfound statement as well. Indeed she did, because her eyes were wide as well and the grin on her face was even more devilish than before. “Lexa’s here?” Octavia finally asks after giving Clarke a good stare down. Clarke only nods. “So, she’s staying here and not at a hotel? Does Costia know this? And – oh my gosh – wait… you only have one bed, Clarke, and the couch most definitely hasn’t been slept on.”
“Thanks for pointing that out, O.” Clarke replies sarcastically, turning her back to her friends and grabbing her mug before making her way over to said couch. “Yes…” The blonde starts again after getting comfortable on her sofa and turning to look at Octavia and Raven who are still standing in the kitchen, gawking at her. “She’s staying here. There’s no since in her staying in a hotel when her best friend lives here. And no… Costia does not know. At least I don’t think that she does.”
“Clarke…” Octavia starts in again. “She’s going to flip shit if she finds out that her fiancé is staying with you. Especially if she already believes that there’s something else going on between the two of you.” Octavia’s eyes start to looking Clarke up and down before she adds. “And where are your pants?”
Clarke lets out a loud groan as she takes another sip of her coffee, enjoying the bitter taste as it runs down her throat. She completely ignores the comments about her pants, hoping that that’s all that is said about it. “I know… but this is my last chance, guys.” A long sigh comes next and it’s almost heartbreaking to her friends that have now made their way over the living area as well. “I need this week with her. I have to tell her… I just have to work up my nerve.”
Raven lets out a sigh next and places a soft hand on the blonde’s thigh. “Look, Clarke… I know that I just met you and I’ve only known Lexa for a few months, but anyone with eyes can see that you’re both crazy in love with each other.” The darker girl states with a sweet grin. “Just tell her. Don’t let her be miserable with my bitch of a cousin.”
Clarke doesn’t say anything and neither do Raven or Octavia. The three of them sit in a comfortable silence as Clarke goes through her brain, picking out different scenarios that could possibly happen from telling her best friend that she’s in love with her. After a few minutes, Clarke gets up and takes her coffee mug to place it in the sink in the kitchen and then walks back past the couch to head to her bedroom. “I’m going to wake her. Someone’s got to give her a heads up that you two are here.” The blonde chuckles when the two dark headed girls give her a glare.
Entering the room quietly, Clarke tiptoes over to the side of the bed before gently sitting down, and then laying. The scoots over closer, as she takes in the delicate contours of Lexa’s nose and eyes. Clarke’s own eyes then glance over the sharp lines of her best friend’s strong jaw and cheekbones. Lexa truly is a work of art. One that Clarke would be sure to write great things about. There’s absolutely nothing about her to critique. Only that she’s not Clarke’s.
Clarke doesn’t realize just how close she is to her friend, until a soft, raspy voice alerts her of the proximity. “You’re staring.” Lexa’s voice causes Clarke to grin. To her own dismay, Lexa has yet to open her eyes so that Clarke can see the stunning jade colors that lie there.
In this moment… Clarke decides that it’s time to start being bold. At least a little bit. Baby steps. “I can’t help it.” Clarke shrugs even though she knows that Lexa isn’t looking at her. “I have a trained eye for art. Specifically art as picturesque as this.” She adds before teasingly running her hand over Lexa’s face. This, along with the bold confession, causes the brunette to finally open her eyes. “There she is.” Clarke grins.
There’s most definitely a blush taking control over Lexa’s skin. Clarke notices, but chooses not to say anything. She tries not to think of how her heart skipped a few beats as soon as her blue eyes caught gaze of Lexa’s green ones. “Good morning.” Lexa finally manages and Clarke wants to wake up to that voice saying those words for the rest of her life. It’s terrifying that she knows that that’s exactly what she wants, and that there’s a good possibility that that will never happen.
“Morning.” Clarke grins. “Did you sleep well?” Lexa only nods, closing her eyes again and burrowing her face into her pillow, soaking up the scent of Clarke’s shampoo that lingers there. Clarke giggles at how cute this woman is. “Are you going to get up today?”
Lexa shakes her head ‘no’ before she surprises Clarke and brings a hand to place it on the blonde’s hip. Clarke feels Lexa stiffen a little bit, thinking that she must have just realized that Clarke still didn’t have pants on, but she doesn’t remove her hand from the blonde’s side. Lexa pulls her friend in closer until she buries her face in Clarke’s neck, causing chills to run throughout both of their tired bodies. Clarke has to keep reminding herself that this is how they’ve always been with each other. They’ve both always been touchy and clingy throughout their friendship. This is nothing new. She also has to try and rid herself of the thoughts of the other night when Lexa was drunk and they had almost kissed. They were in this same situation; with Lexa’s arm wrapped tightly around Clarke as their breaths mingled together.
“Lex.” Clarke whispers, not at all sure of what she wants to say. Of course, she knows what she should say, but she can’t. Not right now. This isn’t the right place or time.
“Clarke.” Lexa teases, nestling further into the blonde’s neck, her lips grazing against the skin there as she speaks. “You smell good.” The admission causes Clarke to laugh and Lexa’s pulls her head back slightly so that she can see her friend’s face. “What?” The brunette pouts with a furrowed brow.
The blonde shakes her head with a grin. “Nothing. You’re just really adorable when you wake up.” Clarke chuckles again at Lexa’s expression. “So clingy.” Clarke jokes.
“Shut it.” Lexa grunts before putting her face back into Clarke’s neck and biting at the skin there. Okay… this surely causes Clarke’s breath to hitch and an even more petrifying shiver to run throughout her body. She knows that Lexa will occasionally bite her, because they are truly kids at heart, but never does the brunette bite her on such a sensitive area. This causes way too many different feelings to start to flood. Clarke knows that she shouldn’t look too much into it, but she can’t help it. Especially when Lexa’s lips kiss the spot that she just bit. Shit. Neither of them says anything for a few minutes and Clarke is starting to think that Lexa didn’t really think about what she was doing when she did it.
Clarke finally decides to break the silence. “So… we have guests.” This causes Lexa to look at her again. “Raven and Octavia showed up not long ago.”
“Seriously?”
Clarke nods. “Don’t worry. I already filled them in that you’re staying here, so they shouldn’t bother you too much about it.” The blonde notices that timid look on her best friend’s face. “Don’t worry, Lex.” She repeats herself and then places the softest of kisses on her friend’s forehead. “They won’t tell her.” It’s almost as if it’s an unspoken thing between them. They don’t speak about Costia. Not now. They both seem to know how sensitive the subject is to the other. They both realize how wrong this is, but neither of them can bring themselves to care.
“You’re the best.” Lexa mutters, returning to her warm spot in Clarke’s neck to place yet another kiss there. Clarke is sure that she is about to implode from some sort of heart murmur. “You know that?”
“I’ve been told.” Clarke grins.
//
After a few hours of lying around watching TV, and making lunch, the four friends decided that they wanted to go out on the town. Octavia and Clarke wanted to go out dancing, while Raven and Lexa didn’t care what they did one way or another. After everyone was finished getting all dolled up, they made their way across town to a club that Clarke and Octavia used to frequent.
“Now, I’m only going to have a drink or two.” Lexa states as the four women exit the cab, but she was looking at Clarke when she spoke. Of course. She felt like she was always looking at Clarke. “Someone’s got to make sure that you three keep your clothes on.” She joked.
Raven shook her head and walked through the door of the club, quickly followed by Octavia who had her tongue sticking out at Lexa. There was clearly a story there. As the blonde walked by her though, she made sure to slide her arm gently against Lexa’s. Clarke stood on her tips toes and whispered in Lexa’s ear in her most sultry voice. She had decided to be bold. Let’s see how this goes. “Are you sure that you want me to keep my clothes on?” Clarke teases before making her way through the door as well, leaving a very frustrated Lexa standing outside.
Shit.
An hour and three tequila shots later (for each of the three girls drinking), The four of them found themselves dancing amongst the sea of drunk, sweaty people that flooded the place. It was almost too close for comfort, so Clarke took this as an opportunity to get closer to her best friend. She had mostly been dancing with Raven, but once she truly started to fell the alcohol, she kept going with the boldness flowing through her.
The blonde slowly inched her way over to her friend, in the crowd of dancers, as she was slowly swaying her hips. She had one arm in the air, that was occupied holding a drink, as she made her way over. “You look like you’re having a little too much fun, Miss Griffin.” Lexa grins ear to ear, making Clarke’s heart melt, among other things. The way that Lexa says ‘Miss Griffin’ gives her way too many dirty thoughts about her best friend that she would never admit to anyone, and God… the way that Lexa dances is by far one of the best things that Clarke has ever seen. It’s been way too long since they’ve been out like this together.
“You know me.” Clarke says loudly so that her friend can hear her over the roar of the music around them. Once she finally steps into Lexa’s personal bubble, she throws the arm that’s holding her drink across Lexa’s shoulder and let’s her other one hang freely by her side. Lexa looks like she wants to touch Clarke, but she’s thinking way too hard about where exactly she should do this. After Clarke leans in closer and brushes her lips across Lexa’s ear to whisper, “I like to have fun,” Lexa’s restraint almost completely vanishes. She quickly reaches out and grabs Clarke by the hips, pulling her friend’s body until they’re connected. This causes Clarke to chuckle, but then she starts swaying her hips again to the beat of the music and Lexa can feel her rubbing up against her. The brunette knows that this is a bad idea. A very bad idea, but there is nothing else occupying her mind. Only Clarke. Clarke. Clarke.
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” Lexa questions loudly enough so that her best friend can hear her. A devilish smirk comes across Clarke’s face before she answers.
“A few. You know… you’re fiancé might get a little jealous if she were here.”
Lexa shakes her head and narrows her eyes at her best friend. “She’s not.” The brunette almost growls. “Can we not talk about that right now?”
Even though she’s tipsy, okay… she’s drunk. Even though Clarke is drunk, she knows that she shouldn’t have brought that up. She quickly realizes that it’s turned into a sore subject with her best friend. Clarke manages a sad smile before replying. “We don’t have to talk at all.”
Lexa smiles a sad smile as well, but tightens her grip on Clarke’s waist and the blonde steps in even closer, laying her head on Lexa’s shoulder. They dance like this, just swaying in one spot, for what feels like an infinite amount of time. Neither of them seems to care. Eventually, though, Raven and Octavia come to find them. It’s getting late and Lexa is sure that the other girl’s are ready to get back to their hotel. “O and I are about to head out.” Raven says to Lexa, who is still holding Clarke’s head on her shoulder.
“Do I need to call you a cab?” Lexa asks.
Raven shakes her head ‘no’. “Already done.” The short woman replies. “Are you two about to head out too?”
Lexa looks down, causing Clarke to look up at her. “You ready to go home or would you like to dance some more?”
Clarke smiles at the thought of a ‘home’ with Lexa. Something that she will never have. “Let’s go home.”
//
Once back inside Clarke’s apartment, Lexa changes into some more comfortable clothes. A short cut, green tank top and black shorts. Clarke doesn’t change. She just lies down on the sofa and turns on the TV again. “You not want to go to bed?” Lexa asks her friend with a raised brow. She’s surprised that Clarke isn’t passed out yet.
“No. I want to lie here a while.” Clarke answers. “You can go on. I’ll be in after while.”
Lexa rolls her eyes and makes her way over to the couch. She bends down and lifts up Clarke’s blonde head, before sitting down on the sofa as well and placing Clarke’s head back into her lap. “I’ll stay up with you.” Lexa says quietly. The brunette notices that Clarke is very fidgety and restless and she starts to laugh. “What’s wrong with you woman?”
“This dress is driving me crazy.” Clarke grunts, pulling at the dress material as she does so.
“You should have changed, genius.” Lexa jokes, poking Clarke in the side causing the blonde to spin around on the couch so that she’s now facing Lexa’s toned stomach. Clarke starts to tickle Lexa, knowing full well how bad she hates it. “Clarke! Stop – Oh… Shit! You’re an ass!” The brunette giggles and continues to do so as Clarke leans in starts blowing raspberries on the visible skin of Lexa’s abdomen. “God. I hate that so much, Clarke!”
The blonde is laughing uncontrollably with her best friend. “I know. That’s why I’m doing it, genius.” She teases, echoing Lexa’s earlier name choice. She continues to slowly blow raspberries on her best friend’s stomach until their laughter dies down. Lexa thinks that Clarke must be drifting off to sleep, finally. That is until she feels those soft lips on her stomach once more, but this time… they’re not teasing her. At least not in the playful way that they just were. No. This time, she realizes, Clarke is kissing her stomach.
Shit.
Clarke slowly places soft, tender kisses up the small amount of skin that she can see in front of her face. She ignores that fact that Lexa seems to have stopped all breathing. One of Lexa’s hands is splayed across Clarke’s stomach and her other one moves up to the blonde’s hair. At first, Clarke thinks that she’s going to pull her back… but that never happens.
The blonde raises a hand and slowly lifts the material of Lexa’s tank top just a little bit more. This time, she hears the hitch in her best friend’s breathing. “Clarke.” Lexa practically moans as her best friend’s full lips, slowly make their way further up her own stomach. Clarke hums against her skin in acknowledgement, but Lexa doesn’t say anything else. She can’t. She’s completely speechless. Clarke’s kisses start to be a little less soft. A few times, Lexa feels little nips of teeth against her tight skin and tries to hold back a whimper. After a while, Clarke completely stops kissing her, and Lexa is both relieved and a little frustrated that this has happened. She starts to think that Clarke must have fallen asleep, but then there’s a sudden shift, and Clarke is sitting up on her knees on the sofa and Lexa looks at her with a little bit of worry on her face.
“Clarke? What is it?” Lexa asks quietly, and the blonde only stares at her. The stare is full of something, but Lexa can’t decide what. “Clar – “ She’s interrupted when she sees Clarke start pulling up the hem of her own dress that she still has on. She pulls the material up until it’s bunched around her hips, causing Lexa to try and attempt to swallow the large, dry lump in her throat. Lexa’s speechless once again and she can’t bring herself to say anything else. The blonde moves slowly to straddle Lexa’s lap, now that her dress is out of the way. She hesitantly places her hands on Lexa’s shoulders. Their eyes seem to be glued to each other. Green, blue, green, blue, green, blue. That’s all that they see.
Lexa’s mouth is parted a bit, still unable to form words, and her chest is heaving trying to draw in even the slightest bit of air. Clarke leans in and kisses the brunette’s neck. Lexa can’t help it, she really can’t, and she brings her hands up to Clarke’s thighs, rubbing the soft skin there with her calloused hands. She feels small goose bumps forming on Clarke’s pale skin. Lexa moves her head slightly to the side so that Clarke can have more access to her neck.
This is wrong. This is so wrong.
Clarke’s lips eventually make their way up to the sculpted jaw attached to the neck. This time, Lexa can’t help the moan that slips from her lips as Clarke’s lips make their path down her jaw and slowly to her lips where they stop. Just millimeters away. Lexa can feel her best friend’s breath mingled with her own and she can see the sadness in Clarke’s sapphire eyes as they stare into each other’s soul for what feels like a lifetime. Lexa could. She could spend a lifetime looking at Clarke like this. There’s no doubt in her mind.
“Clarke, I – “ The blonde’s nose bumps her own and causes her to stop speaking. She feels the slight graze of lips against her own. She can’t do this. This is wrong. She’s engaged. This is her best friend. She can’t ruin this.
Clearly, though, Clarke has other plans. The breath is sucked out of Lexa’s lungs with Clarke’s plump lips finally crash into her own. It’s not fast, it’s not heated. It’s slow. It’s warm. It’s perfect. And Lexa only wants to live out her days right here in this moment.
To both of their dismay, Clarke pulls back after only a few seconds. She must have just realized what she had done. “Lexa – I’m – I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have – “
“Hey.” Lexa says softly, pushing a strand of blonde hair back behind her friend’s ear. “It’s okay.” Lexa coos. “You’ve been drinking. I know that you didn’t mean it.” There’s a sad smile from the brunette.
“But – “ Clarke starts and is quickly interrupted.
“Let’s get you to bed. Okay?” Lexa says, wrapping her arms around Clarke’s waist and picking her up as she stands from the sofa. She carries her friend to the bed and grabs her some pajamas. With pants this time. She helps Clarke change into them and gently tucks her into the bed. “Goodnight, Clarke.” Lexa says gently, leaning across the bed to place a kiss on the blonde’s forehead.
Clarke doesn’t answer because she’s already passed out. Lexa’s heart is still thrumming hard in her chest and she feels tears start to run down her chiseled cheeks. She can’t do this. It’s too much.
She hesitates, but slowly makes her way to the living room. She’ll sleep on the couch tonight.