Chapter 7
2003
Detective Benson’s ears were still ringing from the explosion. After giving her initial witness statement she headed straight for the back of ambulance where Cabot sat. Physically, she was fine but Benson knew the blank look on the woman’s face – she was still in shock. Benson was unsure of how to be approach the situation. She wanted to throw her arms around Alex and hold her and tell her that everything was going to be okay but she couldn’t do that anymore. They had broken up, for the second time in the past two years, about two months ago. While they still had to work together, and did so with professionalism and at times even friendliness, they were no longer a couple. Olivia had been the one who wanted that but ever this case had her questioning if that right. Benson had even asked Alex if she wanted to stay at her place that night before the bomb went off. She had mentally berated herself for crossing that line.
After Elliot excused himself to call Kathy and update her Alex turned to Olivia. “Does that offer to stay the night at your place still stand?”
“Of course.”
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Olivia was making up the couch when Alex appeared from the washroom. She had taken a shower and was wearing the sweat pants and well-worn NYPD t-shirt that Olivia had left out for her. “What are you doing?”
“Making the couch up for myself.” Olivia replied.
“Oh, I was just thinking that … well, could you maybe sleep in the bed with me? Just as friends. I’m not going to try anything I swear but I … I don’t really want to be alone.” Alex explained. Olivia saw a very rare look on Alex’s face. She looked vulnerable. Scared.
“Of course.”
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Olivia knew that she should go home yet she found herself once again driving to someone else’s place instead of her own. It was just after two in the morning and every rational part of Olivia’s mind was telling her to just go home yet instead she was standing at front door of Alex’s apartment building and dialling her number. Alex answered on the second ring. “Liv, are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’m outside.”
“Hang on, I’ll buzz you up.”
It was obvious that Cabot hadn’t been sleeping. She had taken off her blazer but was still wearing her suit pants and blouse. Her coffee table was covered with case notes. Alex motioned for Olivia to sit down on the couch and made a small attempt to tidy the table. “So, what’s wrong?” Alex asked.
“What?”
“Liv, I may not be a detective like you but I do know that people don’t show up randomly at someone else’s apartment at two in the morning when everything is fine. So, what’s wrong?”
“My relationship is over.” Olivia replied plainly.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear.”
“Are you?”
“Whoa, I didn’t really invite you up at two in the morning so you could attack me.”
“I’m sorry, I … it’s been a long day.” Olivia sighed. “It’s not your fault that Rafael broke up with me. It’s my fault. I never could admit to our relationship. If I had just told him when you came back, if I had told you that I was in a relationship, if …” Olivia trailed off.
“Liv, I really am sorry about all of this.” Alex placed her hand on Olivia’s. “I’m sorry that I kissed you when I came back … and again in my office.”
“It’s not your fault.” Olivia replied. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Rafael.” The two women sat in a comfortable silence for several minutes their fingers still interlocking. The reality of the late hour hit both of them and they closed their eyes.
“I’m sorry that I left.” Alex whispered as they both fell asleep.