Chapter 5
2000
Alex Cabot was hunched over a cup of coffee and several stacks of papers and a couple of heavily highlighted books in her office when Olivia arrived. For a moment the detective took advantage of the fact that the woman hadn’t noticed her presence and just watched the lawyer work. It had been a tough case for everyone but Benson could see that it was really wearing on the new ADA. Benson had seen it time and time again when a new person started working with SVU whether they were a cop or a lawyer or a medical examiner a case would get to them. It was often a case with a kid and this was one was no exception. Benson, the entire squad actually, had seen the case take a toll on Munch but had almost missed the effect it was having on the young lawyer.
“Hi.” Olivia said softly.
“Benson, come in.” Cabot replied with a small smile at the sight of the detective. Benson took a seat across from Cabot. “What can I do for you?”
“Well, I actually just stopped by on my way home to see if you were okay.”
“Oh, well thank you but yes I’m fine.”
“Have you eaten dinner?”
“Well no.” Cabot admitted.
“Come on, there’s a place down the road that has the best pasta.”
The two women sat at a small table in the corner of the restaurant. The waiter brought over two glasses of red wine and took their orders.
“How long have you been doing this?” Alex asked.
“I’ve been at SVU for three years but I’ve been a cop for about ten.” Benson replied.
“Does it get … easier?” This was not the first time that someone had asked Olivia this. She took a deep sigh.
“Honestly, it’s always hard.” Olivia replied. “It’s hard to leave work at work but you eventually learn that you can’t feel personally responsible for any of this. We just have to remember that we are doing what we can do to make this world better but we can’t … we can’t take on all the responsibility for all the bad in the world.” Olivia placed her hand on Cabot’s. “Alright?”
“Alright.”
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“Alright,” Cabot’s voice startled the Lieutenant who had been working in her office alone for the past hour. The squad was at the hospital checking in with a possible victim but Benson had stayed behind to catch up on paperwork. Cabot walked into the office and closed the door behind her. “We have to talk.”
“This really isn’t the time or the place.” Benson replied.
“If not now, when?” Cabot challenged. Benson sighed and took off her reading glasses. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were in a relationship?”
“It wasn’t any of your business.”
“So when I first came back and we kissed you still didn’t feel like it you should maybe give me a heads-up?”
“That was a mistake.” Benson stood up and began to pace. “You can’t come back here and expect everything to be the same. You’re the one who left. You have to accept that things changed.” Olivia spat out. Silence hung between the two women as they stared at each other. Olivia could see Alex’s eyes fill with tears, a rare sight, but she refused to let it break her.
After what felt like several minutes, but in reality was only a couple moments, Alex tore her eyes away from Olivia’s and turned to leave. Olivia felt herself start to deflate but stopped herself from calling out after the woman. Alex pulled open the door. Both women were startled by the sight of Rafael Barba standing on the other side of the door. Alex said nothing as she walked past the man and out of the precinct. Olivia just stared straight ahead at her boyfriend holding two cups of coffee.