Chapter 17
She paced back forth between her bed and closet, tossing anything that would be considered appropriate to meet the family of her new girlfriend. Her thumbs were twitching over top of the simple black sweater she was considering pairing with black leggings and boots. No, leggings are too casual. Next she started to iron a crisp, white short sleeve blouse and pair of grey dress pants. This isn’t a business meeting, Christen. Feeling overwhelming, she dropped back into the pile collected overtop of her bed and sighed audibly.
“Something wrong?”
The voice startled her and her head to popped up to see Tobin leaning in the doorway, laughing at the sight before her.
“I have nothing to wear!” she whined, causing Tobin to roll her eyes. “Yeah, cause there aren’t a hundred things underneath you right now that would all look good on you.” Christen giggled because it was true, her wardrobe was meticulous and usually tailored to perfection.
“Where are we going and how many people do I need to impress?”
Tobin flopped down next to her, both girls staring to the side to look at each other. “Only one.” One? I thought she said family? “Oh. Your mom or dad?”
A smile crept onto Tobin’s face before she answered, “no, you only have to one person to impress and I’d say you’ve already done that so whatever you wear to tonight won’t matter. You’ll like them, they’ll like you.” Christen returned the smile, appreciating how calm Tobin was in situations like this. “Ok so there will be more than one person there. Can you tell me who?”
“Okay let’s see. Definitely my mom, my dad, my brother and his girlfriend, my uncle and maybe few of my cousins. So like eight people?” she guessed. Christen could tell Tobin might have been even masking some excitement about the dinner, but unsure of whether it was because she was coming or just to spend time with her family. “Do your parents know about me or should I expect them to be a little surprised?”
“Oh they know about you,” Tobin assured her. “Don’t take this the wrong way but it was actually my mom’s idea to invite you.” It confused her why she would be upset that Tobin’s mom was the one who wanted her to come; in fact it was music to her ears. “I just didn’t really think of it myself cause I wasn’t sure where we stood, you know?”
Now she was really confused. “Wait. When did your mom tell you to invite me?” Tobin looked away. “Two weeks ago.”
Christen shot up. “TWO weeks ago? But two weeks ago we were….” her voice trailed off, not wanting to finish the statement about how they’d been on the outs. Staying perfectly still, Tobin explained, “I told my mom about you a while ago but then didn’t tell her what happened so she reminded me yesterday to make sure you knew the invitation was still extended.” It made her melt; Tobin had been talking about her to her parents! Take notes, Christen. She bent over top of the girl and placed a soft kiss on her lips. “I feel better, thank you. Now you pick something for me while I get in the shower.”
…
Christen had nothing to be nervous about. Tobin’s family, especially her mom, was incredibly warm and welcome, not a hint of hesitation or care that she was the girlfriend of their daughter. They asked questions that were thoughtful including how she was adjusting to life on the East coast and what she wanted to do after her time at UNC. Tobin listened intently at her side, her hand placed lightly over her leg as a safeguard.
When they wrapped up their leftovers and the bill was paid, Christen thanked them for including her. “Of course, Christen, we’re happy to have you any time. Will we see you over Christmas?” Christmas? Oh my God we’re almost to the month long Christmas break. Tobin and I haven’t even talked about what our plans were. I haven’t even talk to my mom about what I’m doing. She felt herself start to get all worked up before Tobin pressed her hand into her thigh, bringing her back to reality. “Hopefully!” was all she could manage at the time, making a mental note to discuss it with Tobin as soon as they had some privacy.
On the way back to the house, Tobin steered with one hand, clutching Christen’s with the other. The car was filled with comfortable silence as they looked at the lit up lights and homes decorated for the holiday already. It felt real; they were a real couple who went to dinner with families and held hands in the car, she thought. “I like your family, they were really cool about us.”
Tobin nodded without looking over. “Yeah, they are.” Christen was curious whether it had always been that way, mostly because she was starting to realize that soon enough she’d have to tell her own family about them. In the back of her mind, she couldn’t think of a single thing that would make her think they wouldn’t be loving and supportive, but it was still scary to think about. “Did they just know or what did they say when you told them….about…” Tobin helped her out, slowing down and looking over at her as she spoke. “I never asked if they knew but when I finally told them, I kinda got the sense they did. The leadup to it was awful, but they were great and my mom gave this whole speech about how it didn’t matter because she was proud of the person I was and how everyone deserves to love and be loved. It was one of those like, good crying moments.”
Christen idly stared out the window, playing through a conversation with her own mom. “Are you nervous to tell your family about me,” Tobin quietly inquired. “Honestly? A little,” she admitted, unable to look her in the eye. Tobin only squeezed her hand tighter, letting her know it was okay to feel that way. Changing the subject, Tobin brought up her mother’s earlier question. “So we’ll ‘hopefully’ see each other over Christmas?”
She was happy to have a change in the subject, one that was proposing more time together. “I mean I want to,” she shyly told her. “Did you have any plans for the month?”
Tobin pulled into her side of the house’s driveway and put the car in park before turning her full attention on Christen. “I’ll be in Jersey and New York for most of the time but I’m free to really go anywhere.” Is she saying she’ll come to California? They sat awkwardly for a moment, waiting for Christen to reply. “I - I haven’t decided when I’m coming and going yet,” she volunteered. She watched Tobin trying to figure out where this conversation was going go, so she put herself out there a little further. “If you want to spend a few extra days here with me before going home or come back earlier, I can plan my flights around that.” Now she could see a smile coming through from her girlfriend, who seemed pleased with the offer. “Yeah, let’s do both for sure.”
“Good,” Christen agreed as they opened their car doors to get out of the nightly chill and inside. “Now let’s get you to bed, big game tomorrow morning.” Tobin turned her body, slightly pushing her up again against the car. Her eyes flickered down overtop of Christen’s lips as her hands smoothly locked them together. Christen felt the flutter in her stomach as the anticipation built up inside of her. Tobin leaned in and brushed her lips over top, not making any type of forceful contact, but rather playfully flirting. She turned her head to the side, giving her full access of her neck, which was throbbing with desire to be touched. Tobin took the hint and trailed soft kisses up and down her smooth skin. There was no way that Tobin couldn’t feel the effect she had on her body as Christen clinched her closer, pressing their chests and legs together, treading on her toes. Tobin came back up to find a mouth waiting for her to take over, explore with full permission which she took until they pulled apart to breathe again. A fire in Tobin’s eyes told Christen this wasn’t over and she may have been right as her hand was jerked in the direction of the front door. “C’mon,” Tobin insisted.
No one was waiting up for them to both girls’ relief. “Your room or mine? Tobin whispered, shedding her coat in the living room and tugging on the zipper of Christen’s. “Yours,” she let her know decidedly. They broke briefly to tiptoe up the steps, not wanting to be interrupted in the moment, but as soon as the door was shut safely behind them, Christen was done for. Her tongue fluttered against Tobin’s as her hands were deep in the softness of brunette’s hair. Taking her hand, Christen led her to the bed, which looked like as inviting as ever. Tobin was overtop of her now as her back settled into the soft mattress and she nibbled ather every square inch of her face with her fingertips, sighing,whispering, "You feel so good." The attraction was undeniable as Christen’s hand started to move south, towards the button on her pants which was currently hiding the damp spots between her legs. Above her, Tobin froze.
“What’s wrong?” Christen asked, scared but also a bit surprised by the reaction.
“We said slow,” she answered as she moved off of her body. “I’m not going to pressure you or push you into something you aren’t ready for.”
“You’re not!” Christen tried to persuade her. It was true; it was her that was making the moves. But with every ticking second uncertainty crept into her mind that maybe she really wasn’t ready. The pair laid next to each other in silence, Tobin running her hands softly through Christen’s hair. “We should set some ground rules, maybe” she suggested. This was something Christen felt comfortable with, so she agreed.
“Ok,” Tobin started. “First things first, clothes should probably stay on. I’m okay with hands under clothes above the waist if you are.” She nodded, all good on her end. “Second, it’s up to you to rewrite the rules if you want because I’m not gonna be the one. And you can’t bring it up in the heat of the moment, you know? We’ve had too many issues with us not talking to each other about how we feel so I prefer you talk to me and let me know first.” A small squeak came from Christen’s mouth. “I have to?” Propping herself up on her elbow, Tobin smiled. “Yes, cause believe me as much as I want you to be ready and I’ll wait as long as you need, the thoughts running through my head are less than decent and I don’t trust myself.” She could feel herself blushing, knowing just what those thoughts might be. Leaning in, Christen opened her lips just enough to take in the bottom lip of the girl next to her. Lightly sucking on it, she inhaled the scent of Tobin’s perfume, sending her into a fury of want again. The girl was intoxicating like nothing she’d ever experienced and it made her wonder just how long she was going to hold on out devouring her.
“Okay,” Christen agreed. “It’s up to me.” The spent the rest of the night before falling into a state of exhaustion exploring the boundaries of their agreement. When Tobin was finally asleep, under the safety net of her outstretched arm, Christen thought back to the events of the past few weeks. I used to spend all my time anticipating and reacting to what I thought everyone else in my life thought would be best. I didn’t do or say anything that was outside of the box I’ve built around myself. For once, I’m going to think about what I want, what I really need. Closing her eyes, Christen resolved to have an open conversation in the next few days with the people in her life who meant the most about that thing she wanted and needed: Tobin.
….
Christen’s eyes popped open as soon as she hear the alarm buzzing somewhere near her head. Looking to her right, Tobin was out cold still, unaffected by the vibrations. Feeling around, she found Tobin’s phone to turn it off and give her a different type of wake-up call. But something besides the incessant alarm covered the screen of her phone. Shirley texted her...four times. Not wanting to look like she was snooping, she safely laid the phone back under the pillow and rolled over to pull Tobin closer to her body. The gesture woke Tobin, who hazily smiled with both her eyes and mouth as she looked over her shoulder. “Morning,” she purred in a low morning voice that made Christen throb underneath the blankets.
“Hi,” she returned. “Time to get up.” Tobin groaned in reply, although Christen knew it was already past 8 so it wasn’t that early and she had more than enough sleep. Tobin turned to face Christen, running her nose down the tanned jaw and leaving a single kiss on her throat. I wonder if she can feel the lump in there that wants to explode and ask her what the texts say. After a few moments, she started rustle and come alive, sitting upright and chugging a water on her nightstand. Christen watched as she reached for the phone, studying her face to see what the reaction might be. It was going to be the first test since they had the conversation days prior, because Tobin had promised honesty and she was expecting it.
Immediately, Tobin’s face curled up in annoyance, or so she thought. Her eyes darted quickly towards Christen’s possibly harboring nervousness. “What’s wrong?” Christen asked in her most innocent voice. I’m a bad actress, she thought as she held her breath.
Tobin hesitated but then turned the screen around to show her: three consecutive texts from the girl and then one again this morning.
11:56 pm Shirley: Can you pick me up from the airport on the 7th?
11:56 pm Shirley: And maybe stay at your house?
11:57 pm Shirley: I promise I won’t make it awkward
7:03 am Shirley: Ok, guess not. But I’ll be watching you today. Good luck!
She wasn’t sure what she was supposed to say. Trying to gauge Tobin’s reaction, she could only get out “oh no.” Tobin tossed the phone back down on the bed and rolled her eyes again. “I don’t know why she would even ask that. I told her outright that she couldn’t stay here when she brought it up last time.”
“Do you think, maybe, uh, she….” Christen stuttered before she was cut off. “No, she isn’t staying here before you even suggest opening our house as a charity.” It made her laugh, “you know me better than I thought.” Christen gazed lovingly into Tobin’s eyes, “but I don’t want you to use me as a reason for it. If you’re saying no to her strictly because of me, then I don’t want that.”
Tobin wrapped her arm around to the small of her back to pull their hips closer together. “Believe me, there’s more than more to it than that but I also just don’t think it’s good for us. It’ll only to lead to trouble cause like I said, we were never like, friends. I don’t owe her anything.”
Accepting her reasoning, Christen leaned in to wait for a kiss which she quickly received. “Your call. Now up! I’ll make you breakfast if you want while you get ready.”
Tobin’s eyes went wide as she slipped out of bed, almost running to the shower. “Yogurt, granola, eggs, THANKS!”
……..
It was a really chilly afternoon in Chapel Hill as the stands were packed with a sea of baby blue and white, rooting for the home team. EVeryone Christen knew was there, including Tobin’s family from the night before. She made it a point to stop by where they were sitting and talk for a few moments, offering to host them all back at the house after the game was over instead of going out like Tobin had mentioned.
“That’s a wonderful idea, Christen. We’d love that. Tobin might be too tired so we can get something for all the girls if that’s okay. Just let us know a good place you recommend and we’ll place the order.” She was kind of proud of herself for taking the initiative to do something nice for Tobin and also a little panicked that the house might not be clean enough for new visitors.
An Alex Morgan goal came in the 82nd minute, sealing a 1-0 victory to what was a nailbiter of a game. For her girlfriend and roommates this meant they’d be off to California, San Jose to be exact, this Thursday-Sunday for the final on Saturday afternoon. She was slightly jealous knowing they’d be spending time so close to her hometown, but rationalized that she’d be there in a little over two weeks herself. Instead of seeking out Tobin after the game, she gave her mom the number of a local pizza place the girls enjoyed and said she’d meet them all back there when they were ready. Racing into the house, she found a broom to sweep up and pieces of gravel and dirt on the floor, replaced the trashbags, fluffed the common room pillows and set out enough paper plates and napkins for a village. The only thing missing was cups but she knew Kelley would have solo cups stashed somewhere.
The room looked pristine as she looked at her phone, realizing she had done the job in record time and likely had about twenty minutes at least to kill before anyone would be back. She rested her head back on the couch for a moment before an idea popped in her head that kept her occupied right up until a few of the girls all trickled in with their families, Tobin and her own being the last to arrive.
They were carrying so many bags and boxes of pizza, Christen could barely see the golden eyes above them. “Here!” she laughed, “let me help you.” Handing a few things over, Tobin pressed a kiss to Christen’s cheek. “Thanks for doing this,” she whispered. It made her blush, mostly because everyone in the room’s attention was on the two of them.
Everyone dug in, spread around the common room and spilling into both kitchens. She estimated there were at least 30 people filling the space but it was kind of nice to have a full house. Christen bounced around to different groups, meeting Ali’s family, talking to Kelley’s parents and finally thanking Tobin’s mom for the food. “Our pleasure, Christen. Really, this was a wonderful idea. Thank you for having us all here!” She could feel eyes boring into the side of her as they continued talking but didn’t want to break the conversation. When the night started to dwindle down and people had left, she started to throw empty plates and cups in the trashbag she toted around the house.
“Let me get that,” Tobin offered, taking the bag from her hand. In reality, Tobin had to be much more tired than her but relented and sat down to prop her feet up on the couch. The chore would have to wait because almost immediately she was greeted with a passionate kiss and hands flirting with the hem of her shirt. “Whoa,” she laughed, pulling back. “Happy to see you too, but we should clean.” Tobin stared into her eyes and grabbed either side of her face, “seriously, thank you. I love that you invited my family here.”
It was so genuine and sweet, but Christen had to let her know that it wasn’t a big deal. “I didn’t do much! Your mom was the one who got everything!” Tobin shook her head. “I know that, I’m saying thank you for being so nice to them. I’m close to my family and it means a lot that you’re willing to try to have good relationship with them. I was watching when you and my mom were talking tonight and I can tell she really likes you.”
It made her smile. “Of course. It means a lot that they’re so accepting.” The two let their eyes linger on each other for a little while before Tobin dove in for another kiss. “I seriously think I love you,” she whispered, catching Christen completely off guard.
“I do too,” was all she could manage.