Chapter 3
Oh my God, no. No, it can’t be?
“No it’s not. Is it?” Christen whispered as Tobin was getting closer and closer to them. Her head was down and she was looking at something on her phone.
“I thought you said you talked to her the other night. Didn’t you recognize her?” She could tell Kelley enjoyed the drama unfolding in front of her.
“I told you, I couldn’t see. I didn’t have my contacts or glasses on!” Tobin was quickly approaching and was looking at them now. Christen couldn’t say anything else and had to make a quick decision; did she play if off or immediately rectify the situation.
“Hey,” Tobin said to the pair.
In unison, they returned her greeting. “Ready to go?” Kelley asked.
Tobin’s eyes darted to Christen. No wonder her wave today was reserved. I treated her horribly the first time I met her then ignored it when I talked to her later that night. She put her head down in embarrassment. I’m going to apologize later - not in front of Kelley. She’ll never let me live this down.
“Yep,” Tobin responded. Christen made sure Kelley was between her and Tobin, avoiding any possibly awkwardness. Of course, Kelley dominated the conversation on the fifteen minute walk leaving little interaction between her and Tobin. When they got to the house, Tobin followed them into their house and sat down on the loveseat while Kelley continued into the kitchen. Christen wasn’t sure what to do; should she sit down and make small talk or be antisocial and go up to her room?
Kelley made the choice for her when she called, “Chris do you want to start dinner now? I can help you.”
“Sure! That’ll give us plenty of time if we want to eat at 6. Let me just wash my hands and put my stuff down.” Christen ran up the steps to her bedroom. She caught herself in the mirror and quickly fixed a few out of place hairs on the top of her head. When she washed her hands in the bathroom, she put a glossy layer on her lips, smacking them for even coverage. After a long day of classes, she looked pretty good and approved of her appearance. Why am I fixing myself? It’s just a roommate dinner.
She came downstairs to see Tobin was still in the same position on the loveseat but Alex had joined her, her back towards Christen and legs swung up over Tobin’s lap. Their eyes met and Tobin gave her a soft smile. She felt her heart skip a beat and whipped around towards the kitchen, ignoring it. Christen put herself to work giving Kelley directions that she more often than not had to re-do herself because of the girl’s poor attention to task. After about forty minutes, the casserole was in the oven and homemade guacamole was ready for dipping. “Phew,” Christen sighed as she pulled up a stool at the small island. “I’m so tired now I don’t know if I’ll be able to eat!”
“You better be hungry!” Alex called. “Allie made mexican cinnamon brownies and fried ice cream!”
Christen turned around to see her roommates were watching a movie on the small t.v. in their living room. “Do you guys want to set the big table? The casserole should take about 35 minutes.”
“Happy Hour? Margaritas?” Kelley asked like a child waiting for permission.
“Sure!”
Alex took her legs off of Tobin and stood up, extending a hand to her. “Come on, show me where you put the mixers.” Tobin whined for a second. “My legs are asleep since your heavy ones were on them.”
“My legs are not heavy! Here I’ll carry you.” Tobin climbed onto Alex for a piggyback ride, resting her chin on the girl’s shoulder. OH! It makes sense. Kelley said Tobin may have a girlfriend. It’s Alex! She would have bet her bank account that Alex was straight, but not so much Tobin. Christen watched them struggle to open the sliding door so she got up to help, knowing Kelley wouldn’t. “Here you go.”
Alex said a quick thank you while Tobin turned her head to find her eyes. “Thanks,” she said softly. Their eyes lingered on each other, Christen unable to look away. She felt a flutter deep in her stomach but chalked it up to the uncomfortable position she put herself in.
……
“Cheers!” Glasses clinked around the table, most of them filled to the brim with Margaritas Alex concocted. Christen was at the head of the table, three girls on either side of her. She started to dish out the casserole that had turned out perfectly onto plates in front her.
“This looks so good, Christen, thank you!” Ali said. She gave herself a pat on the back as everyone scooped the dishes on their plates. Conservation turned to soccer which Christen didn’t mind but obviously couldn’t contribute to. She watched everyone enjoying the dinner she mostly made, Tobin stealing pieces of uneaten rice from Alex’s plate. Still, she was grateful when Allie changed the subject to the party this weekend.
“..And I told Jose about it so now he wants to come. Do you guys think that’s a good idea or no?”
Julie offered some advice, “If you tell him no then he’ll think you’re hiding something.” Allie seemed to weigh the words.
“I think you should tell him you’re going to go with your friends but you’d be happy if he stopped by later. That way he still gets to come but you won’t be attached to him all night.” Everyone turned to look at Christen after she spoke. Twelve eyes stared at her, mostly because she had been silent throughout most of dinner.
“Actually, that’s a really good idea. Thanks, Christen!” Allie was pleased with the advice she gave. “Are you going to bring anyone or just go with us?”
She pushed around the food on her plate while answering, “Just you guys. I’m not with anyone.”
“Hmm.” A small hum came from Tobin’s mouth, surprising her. Christen didn’t know what to do or how to respond. Kelley came to her rescue. “I’m totally gonna hook her up with Danny. He’s single now.”
“He IS? Oh Christen he is sooo good looking,” Julie purred. “He’s that guy every girl on campus swoons over but he had a girlfriend all of last year from Duke. Even I have a crush on him.” Christen knew Julie had a boyfriend who wasn’t hard on the eyes himself.
A rush of blood went to her cheeks and they started to heat up. Having her love life discussed at the dinner table was embarrassing. “We’ll see.” Her eyes traveled back to Tobin who was concentrating on eating, clearly uninterested in the topic.
Dinner ended and Christen started to clear the plates. Tobin stood up, offering to help her. “Uh, sure,” she said walking into her house’s kitchen. She dropped the plates into the sink after filling it up with water and soap, hoping to scrape off the residuals before putting them in the dishwasher. The glass dish holding the casserole was empty but pieces clung to the sides.
She felt movement behind her but didn’t turn around. Christen could feel the tension radiating the room. Tobin moved beside her, the two scrubbing in silence for a few minutes while laughter came from the common room. Okay, say something. Now is your chance.
“So I think we have class together. I think you were in my 9:15 class this morning.”
Tobin looked up in surprise. “Really? I didn’t see you.”
Christen had to laugh to herself. “Yeah, you seemed a little out of sorts when you came in. You were a few people down from me.”
“Oh. Why didn’t you say anything?”
Okay, apology time. “Actually, it’s a long story.”
Tobin dropped the sponge into the sink and turned around to lean against the counter. “Go on.”
“Well, first off I am so sorry for how rude I was on Saturday. I was on edge that day with everything happening and took it out on you. You’ll be happy to know I’m usually a clutz myself so I should have been more sympathetic.”
Tobin’s smile spread across her face, encouraging her to keep going. “And then, here’s the really funny part, when I talked to you in the common room that night I had no idea you were….you.”
“You didn’t recognize me?”
Christen shook her head. “No, I didn’t wasn’t wearing my glasses or contacts. You were a big blur to me.”
Tobin exhaled, her head shaking. “So is that why you were shooting daggers at me when I waved today?”
“I wasn’t! I swear,” Christen exclaimed. “I just didn’t know why you were waving to me!”
Tobin reached out to touch her hand that was resting on the edge of the sink. “I’m kidding, it’s fine. That is really funny.” Christen stilled at the sensation, feeling a shock run through her body. She pulled it away from underneath Tobin and took a step back. “Well, hey, what do you say? We can start over?” Her pitch was high, giving away her nervousness.
“Sounds good to me.”
Alex stuck her head through the door to call for her new friend. “Tobs, football starts in 10!” Tobin glanced at her apologetically. “We have a huge fantasy league bet going on. It’s the only way she’ll watch with me.”
“Fun. You go, but thanks for your help.” Alex is lucky. Wait, what? Christen watched Tobin hesitantly slipped out of her view, eyes focused on her swaying behind that her cutoff shorts clung to. She had some unintentional swag to her walk and her lean arms swung effortlessly; it was hard not to stare.
“Need help?” Kelley came into the view, eyes searching for Christen’s. Shoot, she caught me looking. “Did you get a close enough look this time?”
“What, excuse me?” Christen screeched.
“At Tobin’s face. Could you actually tell it was her this time?” She knew Kelley was toying with her.
“Yes. Shut up.”
Kelley resumed the same position Tobin was in, backed against the counter watching her scrub diligently at the pan. “What were you two talking about?”
Christen was happy to report they had smoothed things over and she thought they would actually be friends now. “She was really nice about it but I still feel a little guilty. Maybe I’ll do something nice like bring her a coffee to class on Wednesday or something.”
The freckled girl’s eyebrows raised. “You must have really been a bitch to her.”
Christen didn’t think she was that harsh but the thought of doing something to make Tobin smile was appealing. “Yeah,” she lied.
………
Her second of classes also went smoothly and she was halfway done with her week. She purposely schedule her courses for M/W and T/Th only, giving her an automatic three day week. That night the soccer girls were all at a mandatory meeting so it was just her and Allie in the common room flipping through the channels.
“So tell me more about this party on Saturday. I’m actually a little nervous about it,” she told Allie.
“Oh, no, don’t be nervous. It’s so much fun I promise. You’ll love everyone there. Stick by me if you need and I’ll introduce you to everyone.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that. Don’t tell her I said this, but I just imagine Kelley abandoning me the moment we walk through the door and leaving me to fend for myself.”
Allie laughed. “I guess you do know Kelley pretty well. No seriously though, you will have fun.”
Christen smiled at her new ally. “Does everyone go or….” her voice trailed off, really wanting to ask if certain roommates were going.
“Mhm, we usually do a small pregame here then go together. Which by the way if there’s anything you want from the liquor store just add it to the list we started. If you’re cool with it, we talked about everyone chipping in like $20 bucks and then we’ll make one big run. When the stash gets low, we’ll do the same and replenish.”
It sounded reasonable enough to Christen. “Sure, I’ll get some cash out tomorrow and give it to you.” “Great,” Allie smiled. “I was worried about you when Kelley said she wanted you to live with us, you know because it’s Kelley, but I think you fit right in.”
Kelley really has a reputation around here, she thought. “Well, thanks. I’m lucky it all worked out.”
Christen spent another hour or so watching tv with Allie before going upstairs. She was hoping to see some of the roommates before going to bed but her eyes were growing heavier by the second. Besides, her plan was to get up earlier to get Tobin an “I’m sorry coffee’ since she already witnessed how long the lines could be in the morning.
……
9:14 am. There was no sign of Tobin as stragglers filled the lecture hall. She had two coffees in front of her on the long desk. Maybe she dropped the class. Oh wait, is that...yep, there she is. Tobin walked in with two taller guys on either side of her, although she looked like she fit right in. She was wearing a fitted grey Nike t-shirt, a pair of black joggers and a matching snapback. Her hands were jammed in her pockets as Christen saw her mega-watt smile from her seat. Do I wave her over or hope she sees me? Her attention was broken by her professor turning on the slideshow to begin. When she looked back to the direction where Tobin had been, she couldn’t find her. Great now I look stupid with two coffees.
Christen resigned her efforts and started to take notes, playing catch-up with the information flowing ahead. About twenty minutes in she was furiously scribbling her connections and thoughts in a notebook when she felt
“Hey,” Tobin whispered, settling into the seat next to her.
Christen looked up at her, somewhat surprised. “Hey, what are you doing?”
“I saw you from over there and wanted to sit with you. Is that okay?”
Her pulse quickened. “Yeah. Do you have enough room?” She repositioned her chair to let Tobin have room for her bag. Tobin’s eyes were looking at the table. “How much coffee do you need?”
Christen was a little embarrassed now to admit that she had been saving the coffee for Tobin so she played it off. “They screwed up my first order. I didn’t drink it, do you want it?”
“Sweet, thanks.” Tobin took the full cup and chugged it. Christen giggled, watching Tobin enjoy something that she had gotten for her. The next 50 minutes of class were spent looking over each other’s hands to see what each had put in their notes and whispering questions. Tobin was a less diligent note take though, often doodling or scribbling. Right before the end of the lecture when their professor was announcing homework for their next meeting, she folded back the corner of Christen’s paper and wrote, ‘lunch @ 1?”
Christen nodded at her. She had about 25 minutes to spare for lunch between her second and last class of the day and knew she’d be hungry. As they walked out of their row, the two guys Tobin had walked in with waved them over.
“Christen, this is Sully and Danny, they play for the guy’s soccer team.” Danny, isn’t that the one Julie was talking about? He is pretty cute, she wasn’t lying. “Nice to meet you,” she said extending her hand.
“Do you guys want to have lunch with us at 1 on the field? I was thinking we’d just get something from the food trucks and chill there,” Tobin asked them.
“Yeah, that’s cool. I will probably be there a little earlier since my class ends at 12:15 so uh, I’ll find us all a spot.” She could feel Danny’s eyes steady on her as he talked, but she avoided direct eye contact.
“Great,” Tobin said. “Ok I gotta run, literally. I have workout scheduled so I’ll see you later.” Christen was now forced to walk out with the strangers she had made lunch plans with. “So Christen,” the unfamiliar one started, “are you new to UNC or the team?”
“UNC. I don’t play anymore but I’m friends with Kelley O’Hara and live with her and Tobin.” She tried to be as friendly as she could in the situation. “But I have to head to my next class so uh, I’ll see you guys later. Nice to meet you.” She dodged a few people through the exit and took a hard right out of the building.
Behind the column, she watched the two guys continue straight and walk at least 20 years before she slowly started back on her path. Why am I so awkward, didn’t you promise to put yourself out there? Try again at lunch.
Trial 2 went much better, or at least at first. She grabbed a pre-made salad from one of the food trucks lining the street next to the quad and wandered onto the grassy field. Immediately she saw the two guys sitting on a blanket, casually eating their own lunch.
“Hey guys,” she said with a smile.
Danny scooted over to make room, patting the space next space next to him for her to sit. Christen did, keeping enough distance between them so she would still feel comfortable. She did her best to strike up a conversation about their team and the party this coming Saturday. Thankfully it wasn’t long before she watched Tobin walk across the grass, this time her hair damp and changed into a plain white t-shirt and cutoff jean shorts that exposed her long but bruised legs and unpolished toenails. How can anyone look that good like that?
“Yo.” Tobin sat down, practically on top of Christen and not apologizing. She felt claustrophobic now, squeezed between a guy whose stares lingered a little too long and the girl she’d just become friends with. Tobin asked what she’d missed as she pulled out a sandwich and yogurt from her bag.
“We were just talking to Christen about the party on Saturday.”
Tobin looked next to her with a little surprise. “So you’re definitely going then?”
“Yeah, why not?”
“Nice. Pregame too?”
“I was planning on it.” Christen tried to place the tone of Tobin’s voice, sensing but mostly hoping there was a little excitement behind it. “Remind me to get cash out before class to give to Julie for it.”
“I don’t know why you guys do that, we literally have everything you could possibly want to drink at the house,” Danny interrupted. “Just tell me what you want and we’ll get it” he said looking right at Christen.
“Oh, uh, I’m not picky. I usually drink anything but beer. My go-to is usually just a plain cranberry vodka with lime.”
“I’ll make sure we have plenty for you,” Danny returned in a flirtatious tone. It wasn’t unnoticed by either girl. When they all separated, Tobin whispered to her, “I think he has his eye on you. Better watch out for every other girl at that party Saturday.”
Ugh. Christen wasn’t that interested, especially in being apart of anything that required conflict from outsiders. Something about Tobin being the one to warn her made her feel uneasy. She had pieced together the girl was already involved with Alex but no one had told her directly so she played stupid. “You guys seem close, are you just friends or did you date before or something?” Tobin looked at her with a soft, but surprised look. “We’re friends. He’s not exactly my type if you know what I mean.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, wrong gender.” There it is. For a reason unknown to her, a slow smile formed. “Gotcha.”
“TOBIN, CHRISTEN!” The girls stopped their conversation and turned to the direction where the voice was calling. She saw Julie jogging to catch up to them. Christen felt slightly annoyed that they had to cut the conversation off right when Tobin was revealing a little more about herself.
“Hey, do you guys wanna grab lunch with me,” she asked slightly out of breath coming between them. “Sorry,” Tobin said. “We just ate with Danny and Sully.”
Julie looked pleased when she turned towards Christen. “So what’d you think, cute huh?” She saw Tobin looking at her too, waiting for a response. “He’s okay.”
Tobin dropped her head but Julie continued. “Oh come on, he’s so cute. Did you hit it off? Are you going to see him this Saturday night?”
“Hey guys I’m going to get going but I’ll see you later,” Tobin excused herself from the conversation without waiting for a reply. Shoot, don’t go.
“I don’t know Jul, we’ll see. Hey I’ll go with you while you grab lunch since I’m on my way to get you cash anyway,” Christen tried to change the subject. “Great!” The walked arm in arm down the sidewalk, Julie chattering about her morning. Christen felt a small pit in her stomach growing, caused by the way she and Tobin had ended their conversation. It was weird, she barely knew Tobin but she still felt familiar. She wanted to get to know he better; there was something that just intrigued Christen. Distracted by her own thoughts, she barely heard Julie tell her to put the money in her bedroom and write what she wanted on the list in the common room before leaving each other.
“I will when I get home,” she promised.
When she walked into the house she went straight for the list, reading it. Rum, Fireball, Tonic Water, Gin, Coors Light. She came to Grey Goose, Cranberry Juice, Limes. Oh good, someone already added everything I wanted. I wonder who else likes that? It wasn’t until later that night when she was studying did she connect the dots. She saw the tiny note Tobin had written in the corner of her notebook that day, all in capital letters - the same writing from the list