Mixed Messages

“What are you going to wear tonight?” Christen asked Kelley while she was sprawled across her bed.  Kelley was thumbing through her closet, fresh from the shower, pulling out pieces she liked.  

“I’m trying to figure that out right now,” she said absentmindedly.   

“Is it like a dressy thing or casual?” Christen was worried about her own outfit at the moment.

“Definitely don’t wear nice shoes.  I’m telling you between the basement and backyard, they’ll be ruined.  I’ve worn flip flops both times.  Some girls go all out but we don’t.  Just something casually cute.  What do you think of this?” she asked, holding up a pair of ripped black jeans and hunter grey flowy tank top.

“That looks good, Kel.”

Time was ticking before she had to pick something herself.  “Come over to my closet and be the judge.  I need to make a good impression on all these people tonight.”  Kelley brought her clothes into Christen’s room and changed while she picked out a few things.

“Do you like this?” she held up a black silk, spaghetti strap tank top that flowed at the waist and was low cut in the back.  

“Too much.”

Ok, option two.  “This?”  It was a similar type of tank top that Kelley hand, but the neck was a bit higher and the torso a bit tighter.  

“I like that.  Lady in black with a pair of black jeans or leggings.  It’ll be cute,”  Kelley approved.  “I was actually thinking white shorts instead.  I wanna wear them before the warm weather goes.”  

“White? They might get dirty.”  But Christen had made up her mind.  “I’ll risk it.  Ok, out, I want to shower and get ready.”  

Two hours later she could hear music pumping from downstairs.  Her clock said 8, which meant the pre-game had started.  Taking a look in the mirror, her hair was perfectly wavy with just enough product to keep in place for the night.  The lotion she spread on her legs showed off her shiny bronzed skin while her makeup made her eyes pop.  Adding a touch of lip color, all the had to do was grab some sandals and she was ready.  Not bad, Press.

She walked down the steps into the common room to a reception of hooting and hollering.  “Damn girl you look goooooood,” Kelley said.  Her face turned a shade of crimson while she laughed.  All of the girls looked good - hard to believe they were all such fierce athletes with battle wounds underneath their outfits.  Christen caught Tobin’s eyes looking back at her.  She sat about ten feet from her, white ripped jeans and flowy black t-shirt.  A long gold necklace accentuated her outfit, drawing Christen’s eyes down her body.  She looked so effortlessly cool.  

“Christen, do you want a drink?” Alex nudged her.  She swallowed the lump in her throat, guilty that she’d been checking her girlfriend out.  “Yeah, thanks.  Anything but beer.”  

“Tobs, beer?”  Alex turned towards the other girl.  “Yup.”  

She didn’t get the chance to talk to Tobin at all during the hour in the common room, mostly because other teammates were being filtered in and introduced to her.  Shortly after ten, it seemed like there were easily 25 people wandering throughout the double space.  

“Hey Allie, what time do we head over?” she asked.

“Now actually.  Alright everyone finish your drinks and lets gooooooo.”  Christen looked around and realized the pregame had probably been way too long.  People were heavily buzzed at best already.  She herself had three drinks, coming close to her nightly limit of four or five, depending on how long she was out.  

Christen found herself walking in a tight group of girls, lead by Kelley up the steps of a house three blocks away.  “It looks like no one’s here yet,” she commened.  Kelley looked back and laughed.  “Oh believe me, we’re probably late.”

Fiddling with the doorknob  several times, it opened to a small enclosed, dark space with another door.  What the...she hear music now, but not very loud.  Kelley knocked strategically before it opened for her.  

Christen was hit with loud music, bodies and dimmed lights everywhere.  “Oh my God.”  

“They sound proofed the room,” Kelley explained, shouting so she was heard.  Kelley took her hand and led her through the sea of people to the basement.  “Come on, bar is down here and there’s another in the backyard with just beer.”  Christen was hypnotized when she walked downstairs to see a typical frat basement with people dancing to the music played by the dj in the corner.  An ice luge was to the left and the one wall had been painted for people to write on with sharpies.  She was taking it all in when she felt a hand snake around her waist, freezing her in place.

“Hey Christen,”  Danny said into her ear.  She could smell the alcohol on him already as she pulled back from him.  “Hey, what’s up.”

“You look great.  Can I get you and Kelley a drink?”  

Looking at Kelley, she nodded.  “Yeah, thanks.”  Realizing liquid courage might be needed, she sipped on  it quickly.  It was only a few minutes before Kelley disappeared, leaving them to talk to each other.  “So what are you doing tomorrow?  I was wondering if you wanted to maybe go out.  I’d like to take you to lunch or something,” Danny asked.  Oh no. “Oh man, I actually have a group project I’m working on most of the day but I’ll take a raincheck?”  She hoped it was enough to polite but gently reject him.  

“Monday?”  Oh come on.  

“Sure, I’m free for lunch between classes again.”  Casual enough, it’ll get him off my back.

She gave him her number, half tempted to give the wrong one but realized she’d see him in class. “I’m going to find some of my roommates, I can feel someone’s phone vibrating like crazy in my purse,” she let him know, tapping her bag.  “I’ll see you a little later.”  It was a lie, but a convincing one she thought.  

Christen took a drink for the road and headed up the steps.  There was much more light in the big living room, with a couple tables of beer pong set up and people sitting and standing around couches.  She spotted Allie sitting on a guy’s lap, presumably Jose, talking to a group of girls she had met earlier.  

“Hey Chris, scoot over Jose, come sit with us!”  Christen felt much more comfortable now, away  from Danny and with people she knew.  After an hour, she was truly enjoying herself.  

“Ok I have to pee,” she said.  “Bathroom?”  

Allie thought for a second, “I guarantee the one down here is occupied so go upstairs to either the second or third floors.  You’ll wait a lot less longer in line.”  When she stood up, Christen’s legs were a bit wobbly.  The drinks she had were pretty strong and it had been awhile since she drank.  She was on her fifth of the evening and she was aware her mind was a lot less lax.  

She walked upstairs where a handful of people were in clumps in the hallways, the noise reduced drastically.  She could see a long hallway of doors, maybe three on each side.  She walked slowly trying to figure out which were bedrooms and which might be the bathroom she desperately needed.  At the third door, she did a double take and froze.  She recognized the back of a girl, brunette locks cascading down the back of a white crop top and black leather leggings.  It was Alex.  Hands were wrapped around her waist and a guy was actively making out with her.  Holy shit.

Christen panicked and ran the opposite direction, forgetting the reason she’d come up there in the first place.  Alex! How could she.  Poor Tobin. She ran down the stairs into the backyard, where it was light up with string lights and random furniture for people to sit on.  The last person she wanted to see at the moment looked up from her place on a small outdoor couch and smiled.  Tobin waved her over, whispering to the girl sitting next to her.  

I can’t pretend I didn’t see her, she’d know.  Ugh.  The other girl stood up and left as Christen approached Tobin, giving her a friendly smile.  “I’m going inside, you sit.”

“Hey,” Tobin said turning her body inward to Christen’s.  “I haven’t seen you all night.”  

I’m not the only one you haven’t seen.  “Just making my rounds.  I needed some fresh air.”  

Tobin smiled at her.  “Yeah I like to hang out here where it’s a little more chill.  You want a drink?”  

Christen nodded, completely ignoring the fact she should have cut herself off an hour ago.  “I’ll get you one.  No beer right?”  “Yeah, thanks Tobin.”  

Tobin came back a minute later with her drink of choice in hand.  “So who was that girl you were sitting with?  She kinda looks familiar.  Did I meet her earlier?” Christen questioned.

“She should look kinda familiar - she’s Alex’s sister!”  Tobin laughed.  “They look alike except for the hair color.”  

“Oh, she goes here?”

“No, she’s dating one of the senior guys.  She comes for the parties.”  Tobin took a long sip of her drink.

Christen wanted to spill what had just happened but didn’t know if it was her place to get involved, especially when she hadn’t even heard Tobin confirm their relationship.  She decided to ease her way in and if the opportunity presented, she’d do it.  

“So where is Alex?  I haven’t seen her around that much tonight,” Christen asked nonchalantly.  

“Probably somewhere downstairs,” she answered waving towards the house.  “She usually likes to dance.  We are opposites.”  

“Huh, they do say opposites attract.”  Tobin gave her a look she couldn’t figure out but nodded.  Just warn her, don’t let her get hurt.  She was feeling protective over the girl sitting in front of her, one she knew so little about. Christen gulped four big swigs of her drink before she felt Tobin pulling at the bottom of the cup.  “Easy,” she said gently.  “You’ll have the worst hangover tomorrow if you aren’t careful.”  Tobin stared into her eyes, making her think she could read every thought swimming in her head.

“Tobin?”

“Yeah?”

“I need to tell you something.”  Tobin moved an inch or two closer, rubbing her knee against Christen’s thigh.  The small amount of contact ran electricity through her.  She couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or her body was really responding to it.  

“I - uh - don’t know how to tell you this and I don’t know if I should” she stammered.  

“Ok...”  Tobin said, head cocked to the side.

“But I, um…”  Her eyes are distracting.  Her chewing on her bottom lip is distracting.  

She couldn’t do it.  She couldn’t face the look of disappointment on Tobin’s face right now.  “I have to pee.”

Tobin leaned back and laughed.  “You scared me.  Do you need to know where the bathroom is?”  Oh good, this is actually perfect!   Standing up, Christen turned.  “I think there’s one on the second floor.  Wanna come with me?”

“Sure.”

She led Tobin through the yard and into the house.  She peeked over her shoulder a few times to make sure she was keeping up.  A wave of frustration hit her when they reached the top of the steps to the second floor.  Alex was leaning against the stair post talking to Julie and Ali.  I missed it.

“Hey!” Alex said when they reached the top, flashing a crooked smile at them.  

“Hey guys,” Christen greeted them, unable to look at Alex.  

Tobin moved from behind Christen and stood next to Alex, draping her arm over shoulder.  “How much have you had?” she smirked.  

“Too much!” Alex squealed as Tobin wiped a smudge of lipstick from her mouth.

“You need a touchup.”   The exchange made Christen sick to her stomach.  She couldn’t take it.  She stomped around the group and down the hall from the bathroom, ignoring Tobin calling her name twice.  Once locked safely inside, she put her head between her hands, already feeling a headache coming.  A soft knock came at the door.  “Christen,” Tobin called.  “You okay?”

Don’t take it out on her, she’s the victim.  “Yeah, I’m fine. Just really had to go.”  

“I think Alex needs to go home since she’s bombed already.  Do you want me to wait for you and you can come with us?”

No, definitely not. “No you go ahead, I’m going to stay for a little longer.”  Christen waited till she heard footsteps retreat from the door before turning on the sink and pretending to wash her hands.  Eventually she came out to see only Julie and Ali still standing there.  

“Wanna go get another drink?” she asked them, not waiting for much an answer.

Christen downed two more drinks and was way more intoxicated than she should have been. The walk home an hour and a half later was challenging even with sandals on.  Ali caught her once from tripping over the curb as she giggled.  “You were right their parties are legit.”

They walked up the steps and inside to see the common room door open.  Tobin was sitting inside, alone, holding a beer and watching tv.

“Where’s Alex?”  Julie asked.

“I set her up in our bathroom, blankets and towels. There’s no way she makes it through the night without throwing up,” Tobin casually answered.

Ali grabbed a beer from their cooler and sat down opposite of Tobin.  Following cue, she and Julie did the same.  

“How was the rest of your night,” Tobin questioned looking right at her.

“She is having a GREAT night,” Julie answered for her.  “Danny told me she agreed to have lunch with him on Monday.”  Christen groaned to herself.

“Really?” Tobin asked, not breaking her gaze.

“Yep.”

“I guess I was wrong, I didn’t peg him for your type, “ Tobin noted.  Christen didn’t appreciate the tone of her statement.  She glared back at her.  “There’s a lot of people you’re wrong about.”

Silence filled the room.  “Excuse me?” Tobin asked after a few seconds.  

Christen was boiling.  How dare Tobin comment on her love life when she couldn’t even see hers was a lie.  She wanted to stand up and shout at her right there, letting her know she’d been duped.  But her head wasn’t completely lost so she sat still.  “You don’t know people as well as you think you do.”

“No I guess I don’t,” Tobin said softly, leaning back.  

“I’m going to bed.” Christen stood up and left the room, leaving everyone else in it stunned.