The goodbye
At this point Carmilla used to call Laura every night just to hear her voice. But this time was different and Laura wasn't ready for that phonecall.
*Phone rings*
"Seriously Carmilla! You have to stop calling me at 3 am every night"
"Laura"
Her voice was trembling and she was serious. No more cupcakes and cuties. Laura stood up, because she knew something was wrong. She could sense it.
"Laura, I need you"
"Carm, what happened? Talk to me"
"M-my mum. My mum just died"
Laura's heart stopped. It was like time had stopped. She couldn't believe what she had just heard.
"Wha-how? Carm, I am coming"
Laura got there so fast. And all this time she couldn't stop her brain from thinking. 'What can i do now?' She felt useless and she just wanted to be there for Carmilla.
The door opened and Carmilla fell into her arms. She was shaking and crying. Laura was holding her so tight and she slowly they sat on the floor. She couldn't remove her arms from Carmilla. She wanted to hold her until the pain went away. But she knew. She knew that pain was not going to go away any time soon.
"She just... She had an accident. That's all they are telling me right now. She had an accident and she died on her way to the hospital. Laura, she had a fucking accident. I feel like a part of me died with her. My first thought was to call her and listen to her voice. But the phone kept ringing... Everything is happening so fast and i am not ready. Please stay with me. Please"
Tears started to form in Laura's eyes and a few seconds later she couldn't stop herself from crying. She needed to be strong for Carmilla, but she couldn't hold her tears back.
"Carmilla of course i will stay with you. I am here and i am not going anywhere, not now, not ever. I will stay here and hold you until you want me to stop"
"And what if i don't want you to stop?"
"Then i won't stop."
They were still sitting on the floor and Laura was holding Carmilla so close her that she was sharing her heartbeat with her. Listening to Laura's heartbeat was calming for Carmilla. That was what she needed right now. She didn't need to talk. She just wanted someone to hold her. And that's what Laura did. She held her until the sun came out. She held her until she had a phonecall from thw hospital. Laura had to answer cause Carmilla wasn't ready for what was next.
"Carm, she is ready now. We should get ready"
Carmilla knees were weak and she was about to fall on the floor when Laura rushed over and caught her.
By 11am they were ready. Carmilla's aunt came by the house to take them. She was the one who prepared everything for the funeral. And Laura was so glad that she did cause Carmilla wasn't able to do that on her own.
"How are feeling sweety?"
Carmilla sat there silent. She couldn't get words out of her mouth.
"And you must be Laura. Thank you so much sweetheart for being here"
Laura just nodded and held Carmilla ever tighter. She held her until they arrived.
There were a lot of people who came to pay their respects.
The whole time Carmilla sat there like she was lost. She was just staring at the coffin. She was just staring at her mother.
It was her time to speak. She got up and stood next to her mother. She opened a small letter she had prepared, but she couldn't get the words out. That's when Laura stood up and took the letter from her hands.
"Mum, I know you didn't want to leave so soon, but you did and now i have to stand here and read this. When i was 7, i was seeing nightmares and you came and told me: Baby, no matter what you see, you will always wake up and everything will be back to normal. Remember that mum? I think it's time for me to wake up now. When i was 15 and a kid had just punched me i came home and you told me: Baby, even if you fall, i will always be here to help you up. Remember that mum? I think it's time for you to come help me up. But you won't come, will you? I should get up on my own now. I love you mum"
That was too much for Carmilla and she lost consciousness. When she opened her eyes, she hoped everything was a dream, but it wasn't. She returned to that awful reality.
A few hours later, they were home.
"Laura please stay"
"I am here Carm, I will never leave"