Chapter 2
“Murphy, no!”
“Murphy, yes!”
“No.”
“Yes.”
Murphy and Lexa have been arguing for over an hour. Murphy wanted to throw a party because he wanted to celebrate Lexa’s liberty, and Lexa just wanted to study, that was why she came to college for anyway.
“Okay, throw your party, but I’m not staying in here.” She sighed and grabbed her stuff to leave the room.
“The point of this party is to get you, my friend, wasted. You’re 18, Lexa, and yet, you’ve never had a sip of alcohol. What kind of 18 years old are you?” Murphy asked getting impacient with his friend.
“The responsible kind. And I don’t do parties, I have to unpack and study.” It was true, after all. Parties involved the two things that she knew she should avoid at any cost. Girls and booze. Considering the fact that she never had drinked and was a horny mess for the most part of the time, she figured it would be an dangerous mix.
“You’re not cool, Woods.” Murphy said getting up to grab himself a bear and a water for Lexa, “I already called everyone. And by everyone I mean Bellamy, his sister, and his sister’s friends. You need to mingle.”
“Have you ever considered taking my opinions on some matters? Like, I don’t know, meeting knew people?” Lexa said, getting frustated with the situation. She wasn’t one for making friends, she didn’t knew how to do it, the proof was Murphy. Her only real friend. It was a defense mechanism but also a complex, she wasn’t used to the affection. She didn’t really know what that meant, since her parents failed her in the department.
“You don’t have to drink! You’ll just talk. Let the talk come freely. I know you have it in you. You’re amazing, smart, I’m sure everyone will love you. I don’t want you to be old and friendless, and I don’t want to be the only friend you have in your facebook! It’s getting embarassing.”
“Fuck you.”
“They should be here by 8pm. Go take a shower and put some clothes on. Some new clothes, I swear sometimes you don’t even look like a billionaire.” Murphy grabbing Lexa by the arms and dragging her to the bathroom.
“That would be because I am not a billionaire. Now get out of here and let me take my shower.” Lexa said and closed the door of the bathroom.
“You should try and take the tension off. It’s getting tiring watching you being so grumpy all the fucking time.” Murphy yelled at Lexa and laughed. Yeah, tonight he only had two plans: get in Bellamy’s pants and get Lexa really drunk.
“Who is this guy again?” Clarke asked Bellamy, they were all in her room now, deciding whether they would go to this party or not.
“Murphy is in my history class. He’s nice. We talked a few times, I’ve been dropping hints for months but apparently he’s no into me, so I’m moving on.” Bellamy said with a long sigh. The boy had came out to his parents as bisexual two years ago, it was hard for them (more so for bellamy who had to suffer with homophobic comments left and right for months) but they accepted their son for who he was.
“Awww, is your ego hurt, Bell?” Octavia chimed, she was busy on the phone with the guy she had met at the welcome lecture, and it looked promising.
“Well, it’s really confusing for me. I’ve been hit on for almost every guy in this place, so you have to blame them for my ego.” Bellamy said smirking at his sister, who stucked her tongue out at him.
“NO PUEDO TOMAR ESTO ANYMORE ESTOY DEMASIADO INTELIGENTE PARA ESTA MIERDA. POLIS UNIVERSITY USTED PUEDE BEIJAR MI ASNO” Raven stormed into the room, not paying attention about anything. She and Clarke had become close during the first week. Clarke learned that Raven was spanish but raised in america. The girl was the biggest entertainment source that Clarke had.
“This is the third time this week that it happens” Clarke sighed and ran her hands through her hair,”Raven, could please speak in english? It’s hard to know if you’re yelling at me or no.” She asked in the nicest way she could, but the other girl didn’t want to listen.
“Ask her to come with us. She might be having a hard time.” Bellamy suggested and Octavia nodded her agreement, it was the first time the siblings were meeting the latina girl.
“Hey, Rae?” Clarke called but Raven was still saying things in Spanish to herself, so she tried again, “Raven, we’re going to Bellamy’s friends house, do you wanna come with us?”
“Will there be alcohol?” Raven asked while taking a deep breath, as if she was trying not to kill someone.
“Yeah, probably. Bell, will there be alcohol?” Clarke asked looking at Bellamy, silently asking for help.
“I think so.” Bellamy answered but he was really distracted by his phone. More so by the person he was talking to.
Murphy 19:35pm: U coming?
Bellamy 19:35pm: You’ll tell me ;)
Murphy 19:40pm: You are insuferable. Bring the alcohol.
Bellamy 19:41pm: I am cute and you know it.
Bellamy 19:41pm: And... bossy much? ;)
Muprhy 19:42 pm: stop winking at me and get your ass here soon.
“Bellamy would please quit flirting with your boyfriend?” Clarke teased her friend while choosing something to dress. She opted for black pants with a button down blue shirt. “Does it look good?”
Octavia looked up at her friend and whistled, “Are you planning on getting laid tonight, Griffin?” she smirked at her best friend, “speaking of, where is that asshole that you still have the nerve to call a boyfriend?”
Clarke knew she probably shouldn’t be laughing but she couldn’t help but find Octavia amusing,”He said he’s busy tonight, doing god knows what. I don’t really care.” She said while checking herself up in the mirror. Truth was, since she came to Polis, Finn was doing his best to avoid her. She didn’t knew the reason, but wasn’t dwelling on it. Maybe it was even better this way, the boy sometimes were a little bit too much.
“That right there, my friends, is called love” Octavia teased Clarke. She really hoped her friend would wake up and see the mess she got herself into with Finn. She was friends with him, they all were since kids, but she wouldn’t say that the boy was the most thrustworthy guy she knew, and Clarke could do so much better, but she would leave that for her to figure out by herself.
“Is Raven ready? We still need to buy the alcohol” Bellamy said while getting up, still glued to his phone.
“I’m ready, let’s go get shit-faced.” Raven said as she threw her arms around Clarke.
Lexa was lying on her bed, with her laptop on her lap, trying to get some reading done, when she heard voices. Loud voices. They probably belonged to Murphy’s friends. That was the worst part about rooming with someone, the temptation. She was afraid of letting herself have some fun and if her father found out, it would be the death of her.
“Lexa! Get out of there and come meet everyone. It’s not a request, it’s a demand.” Murphy yelled while knocking on the door, “and please, put a smile on your face, I don’t want you scaring everyone away with your mood. Hurry up, my love!”
Lexa groaned and ran her hands on her hair. She had a plan: go in there, introduce herself, talk a little bit and go back to her room. It’ll work. She thought to herself.
Lexa left her room and walked to where everyone else was gathered, in the living room. She didn’t made her prescence known at first, wanting to see the kind of people she would be meeting.
There was a tall guy, with glasses, sitting on the couch, he had a kind of long hair, dark skinned, and by the way Murphy was looking at him, that could only be Bellamy Blake. Next to whom Lexa assumed was Bellamy, there was a small brunette with piercing green eyes and a killer jawline. get it together, lexa. Before Lexa could scan the rest of the group, Murphy spotted her and said, “Finally you left the cave.”
“You’re funny today, Murphy. I wonder why is that.” Lexa smirked while looking between Bellamy and Murphy.
Murphy cleread his throat and introduced his friend to the small group. “Everyone this is Lexa. Lexa everyone.”
Lexa rolled her eyes and sighed at her best friend, “That was incredibly helpful, and I’m the one who is not social.”
The brunette with green eyes stood up and held out her hand to Lexa, “Hi, I’m Octavia.” She smiled and Lexa shook her, very soft hand. oh, please just stopget your mind out of the gutter, Lexa. “Nice to meet you, Octavia.” Lexa shoot a smile and a wink at Octavia’s direction and was pinched by Murphy who was now next to her.
“Okay,” Octavia chuckled and continued, “That one over there is Raven.” Octavia pointed to the tall, broody girl who was sitting on the floor, “She is Clarke’s roommate, and came along with us.”
“Nice to meet you, Raven” Lexa said and was greeted with a grunt. “And where is the other one? Clarke, you said?” She asked Octavia.
“Oh, she’s in the bathroom. Probably fighting with her boyfriend.” Bellamy steped into the conversation. “I should go check on her.”
“You do that. Who wanna play a board game?” Murphy asked holding up a bottle of vodca and winking at Lexa.
“Finn, I didn’t asked if you’d like to come because it is Bellamy’s friends house and-“
“I’m your boyfriend, Clarke! I am the one who put up with all your craziness during high school. in fact I think I’m the only one who will ever put up with you.” Finn shouted on the other side of the line. They were currently arguing because Clarke didn’t invited Finn to come to Murphy’s house, and the girl was trying to explain to her boyfriend that it wasn’t her place to do that, since Murphy wasn’t her friend.
“I don’t remember asking you to put up with me, Finn! If you wanted to leave you should have. I don’t want to be a fucking burden to you!” Clarke shouted trying to pretend she wasn’t hurt by her boyfriend’s words, “You’ve been avoiding me since I came here. You never text, you never call. You fucking know I don’t care about it. But you don’t get to fight with me over something you’ve brought on yourself.”
“Princess, come on. It’s not like this.” Finn said. His tone already a little bit softer. It was always like this, they had an argument, and he would say sweet things to get Clarke back. But she wasn’t 15 years old anymore.
“Don’t call me that! You know that I hate when you call me that.” Clarke sighed and counted to ten. She should be having fun and Finn was trying to mess with her mind right now, so she decided to end the call, without even saying goodbye.
Turning the faucet on, she splashed water on her face and started to count until her breathing got steady again. Every time they had a fight, things ended up like this. She didn’t know why they were still together. Maybe Finn was right, maybe no one else would be able to put up with her issues.
“Clarke? You okay in there?” She heard Bellamy’s voice through the door and dried her face, stepping out of the bathroom.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just another stupid argument.” She gave him a weak smile and Bellamy just hugged her friend. “If you need me to kick his ass, I’m here.” Bellamy said and pressed a kiss to Clarke’s forehead. “Now let’s go, Murphy’s friends wants to meet you.”
“So... what do you think of them?” Murphy entered the kitchen and sat with Lexa in the counter, “They’re nice, you can say it, it won’t kill you. And I saw you checking Octavia out. Don’t even think about it.”
“I wasn’t checking anyone out. You need to stop with these comments. And yes, they’re nice enough. But that doesn’t mean I’ll hang out with them like you were planning.” Lexa said to her friend. Yes, the guys were nice, they were fun, and yes, she was checking Octavia out, but wasn’t about to admit that to Murphy.
“Hey, Lexa, come meet Clarke!” Octavia yelled from the living room.
Lexa entered the living room and spotted a blonde girl with the bluest eyes that she had ever seen.
Clarke.
“You must be Lexa!” Clarke said helding out her hand to Lexa and smiling at the other girl.
“I- I am. I am Lexa! You must be Clarke?” Lexa awkwardly took Clarke’s soft hand and smiled at the other girl.
“I am. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, you as well.”
Just as Lexa was about to say something Clarke’s phone rang and took over all her attention. “Sorry, it’s my boyfriend. I should get that.” Clarke said and left before Lexa could say anything else.
“Drink, Lexa”
“I won’t drink anything, leave me alone. You want to kill your liver? That’s on you, but leave mine out of it.” Lexa said to Murphy who was now rolling is eyes at his best friend.
“Oh, please! Don’t act like you’ve never wanted to know what it tastes like.” Murphy teased Lexa and brought the bottle of beer closer to her.
“Lexa never drank alcohol?” Raven asked, trying to hold a laugther, and failing miserably.
“Nope. Never. Lexa is a prude. I bet she’s still a virgin.” Murphy said and that was all what Raven needed to choke on her beer.
“Fuck you, John!” Lexa gave him the middle finger and went to the balcony, but she was still hearing all the inebriates assholes inside laughing at her.
“Getting some rest from the monsters inside?” A rusky voice asked her, and as she turned around she saw Clarke. With red, puffy eyes, there was no doubt that she was crying, but Lexa wouldn’t question the girl about it. Not now at least.
“Yeah. I think Murphy being friends with Raven was the last thing I needed” Lexa sighed and looked at Clarke again, who was now looking at the sky.
“Do you like to watch the stars?” Clarke asked. Her voice was trembling, her hand was shaking, and she was doing her best to hold some tears that were threatening to escape.
“I do. But I don’t know much about them. What about you?” Lexa asked her and Clarke gave her an dark laugh, filled with sadness.
“I used to. My brother taught me everything about them.”
“He might be very smart then, these little things are very tricky to learn about.” Lexa said and before Clarke could answer, she felt something on her shoulders. She looked up and saw Lexa putting her hoodie over her.
“You’ll be cold” Clarke said but welcomed the warm sensation filling up her body.
“I’ll be fine.” Lexa smiled at the girl. There was something about her. She couldn’t figure out what was, but all that fear of befriending someone, was long gone.
“Thanks.”
“So... what are you majoring in, Clarke?”
They spent an hour talking. Easy talk, as Murphy had told Lexa to do. Clarke told her she was majoring in art, and that it wasn’t what her father wanted for her but she choose it anyway. Lexa envied her for that, but didn’t voiced her feeling, not wanting to scare the girl away. Lexa in return told her she was here majoring in architecture, and that her goal was to take her father’s company some day.
The girls only stopped talking when Octavia came to get Clarke, because apparently, all of their friends were drunk, and Clarke was the only one sober.
“So... this was nice,” Lexa started “Talking to you, I mean. I- I’ll see you around?” She asked a awkwardly while fiddling with her fingers.
“Sure. It was nice talking to you. Maybe we can all have lunch together? I know Murphy and Bellamy have their own group of friends, so maybe we could, like, hang out? I could introduce you to my boyfriend.” Clarke said excited about the idea of making new friends. It wasn’t as hard as she thought it would be, maybe she could manage it.
“Yeah, sounds nice, I can’t wait.” Lexa said and held out her hand for Clarke. God why do I have to be such an idiot.
“Okay. Bye. See ya.”
Murphy were being currently interrogated by his best friend right now. All because Lexa decided to be talkative in the middle of his hangover.
“Did you kissed him?”
“No!”
“Why?”
“Because”
Lexa puffed and stayed quiet for a moment. It didn’t made sense. Bellamy and Murphy had left the living room for an hour, according to the boy, and yet nothing happened.
“You really won’t tell me?”
Murphy shook his head no. That was his signal that things were not ok, so Lexa decided to leave the inquisition for later.
“Alright! I’m going to the library and then I’ll go get my schedule. Do you need anything?” She asked but the boy just threw a pillow at her direction.
“Rude.”
Raven, Clarke and Octavia were walking around the campus, to get familiar with the place, but the truth was that Clarke was walking as Octavia and Raven were just trying to keep up. They had come to the dorms by 3 am, and Clarke had to take care of the two girls because they were way too drunk. So as a thank you, they decided to make acompany Clarke in her morning walk.
“I’ll never drink this much again.” Octavia groaned and Raven made some agreement sound. Clarke only chuckled, because there was really nothing else for her to do.
“This is the hangover talking, not you.” Clarke said while looking down at her map. The place was absolutely huge. She wanted to call her father and tell him everything about it, but they were far from that. Her thougths were interrupted by a text from her boyfriend.
Finn 08:43am: Where are you?
Clarke tried to ignore because she wasn’t really in the mood for the fight that they were about to have. But of course, Finn had other plans.
Finn 08:45am: Answer me!
Finn 08:45am: I know you’re reading, Clarke!
Finn 08:46am: We need to talk, where are you??
Sighing, Clarke gave up and told him she was near the library with Octavia, but as soon as Clarke said she was with Raven, Finn asked to meet her somewhere else.
“Hey, I gotta go, the two of you can go be miserable in your dorms.” She said to the girls and Raven almost cried from happiness. Clarke smiled at that. It was a strange feeling, she thought that college would be the final piece of all the shit that life was throwing at herfor the past years, but she was making friends, and she didn’t felt as lonely as she used to. “Okay, talk to y’all latter, don’t sleep the day away. Love you, O!” She said and pressed a kiss to Octavias forehead who grunted a response.
She met Finn by his dorm room. He was alone and it was the perfect atmosphere for the inevitable fight that was coming, but neither knew how to start.
“You’ve been distant.” Finn decided to break the tension.
“It’s been a week. How can you tell me that I’m distant if it’s been a week. I’ve been busy, trying to settle in. You said the same happened to you when you came here, what’s up with you?” Clarke asked as Finn came closer and kissed her cheek. That is odd. She thought. Clarke was certain that they were about to fight, and suddenly...
“I miss you. We haven’t... you know,” Finn smirked and made his way to Clarke’s neck “It’s been a while. I think this is the reason we’re fighting this much”
“I’m not in the mood, Finn.” She tried to shove him away but the boy’s mind was set. Next thing she knew, Finn was shirtless and looking at her with those puppy eyes, that always got him away from trouble.
“Please, baby” He kissed her, softly at first, but grew impacient and moved to her neck, kissing there agressively.
Clarke groaned and gave in “Fine.”
Lexa was walking out of the library without looking up, she was trapped in a book and just couldn’t stop reading, not even to do basic activities, like walk. She was in a trance and bumped against a small figure, her book falling on the floor. “Shit, sorry!”
“No, it’s fine.” She got on her knees to get the book back and lookep up to see Octavia smiling down at her. “You should pay more attention, don’t you think?”
Lexa smiled at the other girl and was at loss of words for a moment “As a matter of fact I do know it. How are you Octavia?”
“I’m fine, still trying to make this hangover go away.” She grunted and Lexa laughed. “I’m going to the yard, lunch with the guys, wanna come?” Octavia offered and Lexa hesitated, “C’mon, we’re fun, you’ll get to know us a little bit more.”
“Okay, Can I invite Murphy as well?” She asked and Octavia linked their arms, Lexa wasn’t used to that kind of contact from someone she barely knew, but it felt rude to say that to the giddy girl besides her.
“Murphy is already by the table, don’t worry.”
Lunch was confortable enough but Lexa stayed quiet and listened to the things around her. Murphy and Bellamy were avoiding each other, something she needed to get out of her friend, Octavia was talking to Raven about some other party and Raven was just nodding along, not reall paying attention.
She saw that Clarke was missing but before she could voice her thoughts, she saw the blonde girl walking towards them with a shaggy haired boy besides her, who Lexa assumed was the boyfriend. He had his hands all over Clarke, who was cleary unconfortable.
“Look who decided to wake up from the sex induced coma.” Bellamy said and Clarke blushed while Finn just looked smug.
“Lexa, hi. Nice to see you again.” Clarke said smiling at the brunette.
“Hey.” Lexa said shyly and wavered her hand at Clarke.
“This is my boyfriend, Finn.” Clarke said, tugging the boy’s shirt, “Finn, this is Lexa.” Both Lexa and Finn only nodded their head at each other, but it was Raven who caught everyone’s attention.
“I’m sorry, did you just said ‘boyfriend’?” She asked looking between Clarke and Finn.
“What do you mean, Raven?” Clarke asked clearly confused and Finn looked pale, like he saw a ghost.
“I mean, that your boyfriend, was hitting on me since he came here.” Raven said looking pointedly at Finn.
The whole table went silent. Bellamy looked pissed, Murphy was just existing watching everything happen, Octavia had a ‘I knew it’ look in her eyes, and Lexa was as confused as Clarke.
“Finn, what is she talking about?” Clarke asked her boyfriend who was probably wanting to ran away from there.
”Tell her Finn” Raven shouted, “Man the fuck up, and tell your girlfriend that you’ve been sleeping with every girl that looked at your way in this campus.” Raven felt the need to let Clarke know about this, of course she had been played as well, but according to Clarke, she’d been with Finn since they were 15, so she thought the girl deserved to know.
“Clarke, I am so sorry. I love you baby. I didn’t meant to. I’m sorry.” Finn said with panic taking Clarke’s hands between his own but Clarke shoved him away.
“I-I need to” Clarke was trying her hardest to keep the tears at bay, she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “I gotta go.”
“Clarke, wait!” Octavia got up and went after Clarke, only to be stopped by Bellamy.
“Maybe you should give her some time alone, O.” Bellamy said, still trying to hold his sister back.
“I can’t, Bell. I can’t leave her alone and you know it. Let me go Bellamy. I can’t leave her alone.” Octavia yelled at her brother, at this point, there were some people already looking at their table, “You’re a fucking asshole, Finn! She was doing so fucking good. For the first time in years she was fine, she was happy. But you never liked that, isn’t it?Her happiness isn’t a priority to you.”
Finn kept his mouth shut, not knowing how to react to everything that just happened.
Lexa leaned over Murphy and whispered, “I gotta go, see you later, okay?” and the boy nodded his head.
Clarke was sitting by the bleachers, sketchpad and pencil on her hands, but nothing came out. He was cheatting on her this whole time. It wasn’t like she had a dying love for Finn, but she cared for him, and it hurt knowing he wasn’t being faithful.
Add this to the list of things you’ve lost. She chuckled and rubbed her eyes. Maybe he was right after all this time, maybe he was the only one who could put up with her. She should just forget about it and forgive him. It was the right thing to do. She didn’t loved Finn, but it still felt nice having someone like that. It was confortable.
Clarke wondered why the universe kept throwing so much shit at her, was it something her past life self had done? Her mother, her brother, now her boyfriend. She was losing a her ground slowly.
Her throat was suddenly dry, she was having trouble in breathing. How did her week started amazingly and ended up like this? It was a mistery, everytime something was working out for her, something had to happen and take all the sense of happiness she was feeling at the moment. She didn't knew when she started crying, but it was getting hard to breathe. She tried to think about the tricks Octavia had taught her, but nothing was working. She was trying to count to ten, but her mind was dizzy, and her eyes were blurry.
She felt someone beside her, taking her hands and rubbing circles around her knuckles.
"You'll be fine, just try to breathe with me, Clarke." The person said but it wasn't working, Clarke then looked up and saw Lexa next to her, concern written all over her face, "Breathe with me, Clarke."She took Clarke's hand and put it right above her heart, "Are you feeling that, Clarke? You're here, you're alive, you just need to breathe. Breathe for me. Come on."
After a good five minutes of breathing and counting to ten, Clarke managed to calm down and when she did, embarassement took over her. Lexa noticed and broke the silence
“I’ve heard there’s a coffee shop near here, do you wanna go there?” Lexa asked quietly, expecting that Clarke would turn her down, they weren’t even friends, after all.
“Yeah, I’d like that.” Clarke said with a weak smile and a rusky voice. She was glad that Lexa didn’t pushed her to talk, it was better this way, she wasn’t ready.
Maybe all that she needed right now, was a new friend.