Hugs
You wake up groggily, and as you turn your head to the side, you are surprised to find Papyrus staring at you from his bed. You don’t think you had napped that long, certainly not long enough for it to be nighttime. It had only been noon when you went up to Alphys’ room and she told you… Anyways… What’s Papyrus doing?
“uh… hey?” You ask, voice soft.
“OH! HI!” Papyrus nervously fidgets with his gloves, “DID YOU… HAVE A GOOD NAP?”
“...yeah…?”
Why is Papyrus nervous? What did you do this time? Honestly you’d rather go back to sleep now, but you can’t with Papyrus looking at you like that.
“SO… HOW WAS SCIENCE STUFF?” He asks, again nervous for a reason you can’t quite seem to pinpoint with your tired mind.
“well, we uh, didn’t really do that much ‘science stuff’. i kinda got tired like right after we got up there.” With a small, forced chuckle and a wink you add, “you know me.”
“WELL… ALPHYS TOLD ME WHAT SHE TOLD YOU. SO… IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT WHATEVER’S ON YOUR MIND… I’M HERE.”
Oh, so she told Papyrus what an irredeemable case you are. Fun. You really, really want to go back to sleep right about now.
“paps.” You address him with a serious face, “i’m fine. ya don’t need to worry about me.” In a softer voice, so that you hope Papyrus doesn’t hear it, you add “kinda expected it anyways. i’m me.”
“WHAT?”
You sigh. “never mind.”
It’s silent for a moment. A breeze blows in from the window you now realized is cracked, causing you to huddle in on yourself a bit tighter.
“YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACT LIKE IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU, YOU KNOW.”
“hm?”
“I KNOW YOU’RE UPSET. YOU DON’T HAVE TO PRETEND YOU’RE NOT FOR MY, OR ANYONE’S, SAKE.”
It’s silent once again, as you don’t know how to respond to that.
“...HOW ARE YOU FEELING?”
You think about it for a moment. You should be able to answer this, right? However you can’t, so you give a noncommittal reply. “i don’t know.”
Papyrus is now the one who doesn’t know what to say, but most likely since you didn’t really give him anything to work with. You decide to at least try and elaborate.
“i don’t know. like, i’m upset? but also at the same time i expected it anyways… so… i don’t know.” You laugh at your stupidity. “sorry i can’t answer such a simple question.”
“SANS…” He sighs, looking like he wants to say more, but chooses not to.
“...i’m sorry…”
“STOP.” Papyrus comes over to where you are on your bed, and like he’s done many times before, he pulls you into a hug.
You don’t cry, surprisingly. You don’t think you can. Instead you whisper, “what is wrong with me?”
“NOTHING. NOTHING. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU. DON’T SAY STUFF LIKE THAT.”
You hold Papyrus tight, the fabric of his shirt ruffled in your grasp. “...can i ask you something?”
“OF COURSE.” Is the immediate reply.
You don’t respond right away. You’re not sure what exactly you want to ask, and how to ask it without seeming self-absorbed.
“...why…” You pause slightly, “why does all this stuff happen to me…?” Your words are muffled by Papyrus’ body around you, but you have no doubt he heard you anyways.
“I… I don’t know.” He finally says after a moment, “I really don’t know.”
You both sit there, like time and time again, hugging. You’re not crying, but just feel very, very tired, and you sink your whole weight onto Papyrus. You hope he doesn’t mind. Actually, you know he doesn’t really mind, but you hope it’s not inconveniencing him.
Your eyes close and you still both sit there, Papyrus now having adjusted himself so you both could be in a more comfortable position. It’s almost embarrassing, but at this point you can’t seem to mind. You want to fall asleep, and definitely feel like you can, but it’s not right to do that when Papyrus already had to wait for you to wake up. It’s not fair for him.
With your eyes still closed, you say softly, “what should i do?”
“What do you mean?”
Papyrus stills hugs you as you mull over an explanation. “i... i don’t know what to do now… i mean, i’m not getting better…” Your voice grows smaller as you speak, “so why even try?”
“That’s not true.” It’s such a definite and clearly stated answer that it takes you aback. “You are better. You are so, so much better.” You pull out of the hug and open your eyes so you can see Papyrus. He’s looking at you sadly, but not with pity or disappointment, just sadness.
You don’t say anything back. You don’t feel the need to. Papyrus keeps on talking to you in a gentle voice, so unlike his usual. “And if you don’t see that, i’m sorry. But I see it, and you trust me, right? I wouldn’t lie to you?” You nod your head yes as Papyrus stares at you. “So take my word for it. You… you are so brave, and so strong, and have gone through so much without reason. It’s- It’s really an honor to be your b-brother…” He finishes, getting overwhelmed emotionally.
“paps…” You say, switching the roles and trying to comfort him now, “c’mon. you know i’m the one who should be proud. you’re better than what i can even imagine.”
You both hug again, and you realize you started crying with Papyrus. You’re not sure what the tears are from, sadness, happiness… something. That doesn’t really matter. All that does matter right now is Papyrus.
“Then, THEN!” He says as you again pull out of a hug for the second time, regaining his loud voice, “WE MUST BE THE ULTIMATE DUO! REALLY GREAT AWESOME DUDE VERSUS HIS EQUALLY GREAT AND AWESOME BROTHER.”
You give a weak smile, but genuine. “who’s who though, bro?”
“NYEH! IT REMAINS A MYSTERY!” He replies, and you both hug once more.