Forget
It’s just one of those days, you tell yourself, but days turn into weeks and you’re left wondering if this cycle is as repetitive as you thought it was, or if you’re just stuck at the bottom. You suppose it doesn't matter.
It's late at night now, well what someone normally would consider late, around eleven. Papyrus and Frisk had already went to bed a while back, and Toriel and Asgore followed suit soon after. Alphys, Undyne, and you were the only ones left downstairs, unsurprisingly finishing up an episode of anime.
“Alright dweebs!” Undyne says, overly enthusiastic for the late hour, “I'm going to bed. I promised Papyrus that i'd do some sparring with him tomorrow.” She lets out a big yawn, exposing her menacing teeth, and also proving that she is in fact tired, though she may not sound it. “You coming up with me Alph?”
“N-nah I think i'm going to w-watch another episode or two… heh heh. I really want t-to see the finale!” Alphys responds, and Undyne gives a tired thumbs up.
“Okay. Cool. But you gotta promise me you'll rewatch it when i'm more awake. That shit’s gonna be crazy!” She leans over from where she's standing and gives Alphys a peck on the cheek, causing said monster to blush lightly. “Night babe.” The blush increases. “Night Sans.”
You hear her footsteps slowly fade away as Undyne climbs the stairs, in the silence of Alphys setting up the next episode.
“Well, uh, I g-guess now’s a good a t-time as any…” She starts suddenly, still hitting buttons on the remote, “H-how do you think the antidepressants are w-working? It's b-been long enough that t-the effect should have k-kicked in.”
You take a breath and let out a sigh. “eh.” You say simply and quietly, “s’not really any different i guess. i don't know.” Great answer.
“Well… we could try something else, m-maybe? I’ll try and g-get you a new prescription t-tomorrow. If you're up f-for it of course.”
“sure.”
Alphys seems to notice you're in a mood, and puts the remote aside, completely abandoning her search on the tv. “Sans. W-what's wrong?”
“nothing, nothing is wrong.” You respond, and it's an honest response. Nothing is wrong. You feel like crap, but that's normal, and nothing out of the ordinary happened, so really, nothing is wrong.
Alphys looks at you for a moment. “Well… how are you feeling?”
How are you feeling? Honestly, you haven't felt much of anything recently. You're just tired. Tired and sad and guilty, but really more numb than anything. “i’m not.”
Apparently, and obviously, that's not the right thing to say, and you see Alphys start to freak out a bit. So you ‘correct’ yourself. “i mean, like it's just one of those days,” weeks, “ya know? i guess i'm just tired,” exhausted, “but i can't really sleep.” nightmares.
Alphys seems to understand though, and she gives you a pitying look that you hate but also appreciate. “Y-yeah…”
You both sit in silence now, tv long forgotten. Surprisingly, this time, you're the one who breaks it. “you ever just want to forget something?”
A look of recognition flashes over Alphys’ face. “All the time.” She looks worried for a moment now, “But… I d-don't think that anything s-should actually be forgotten.” She whispers to herself, but purposely loud enough so you can hear it, “Boy this is going to seem really lame.” Before saying “L-look. I know t-this is cheesy, b-but we learn from our m-mistakes. I've made mistakes, you've made m-mistakes. In fact, everyone in this h-house has made mistakes.” She pauses in thought for a brief moment. “Maybe not Papyrus.” She adds with a small laugh, “But t-that's because he's Papyrus.” She takes a moment to recollect herself, “But that's b-besides the point I was t-trying to make. Everyone m-makes mistakes. And no m-matter how bad, or how t-traumatizing they may be, I f-feel as though t-there can always b-be something learned from them. “I guess… you c-can't really help feeling guilty if… well… you're like us. And t-that feeling might n-never go away. But… you just have to have Determination, as much as I hate t-to say it.”
The irony is strong there, but you appreciate the sentiment. She's right, you just need to be determined to get through your problems, and you know that all too well in the respects of a certain child. And it's funny that the Determination, the thing that caused you all the pain in the first place, is possibly the thing to help you.
You don't say anything to Alphys, but offer a nod in response. You don't really feel like talking right now. Not that you don't like talking with Alphys, but sometimes you just want to listen instead of speak. Besides, this wasn't really a conversation you were expecting.
Alphys seems to get that, as she picks up the remote once more and hits the play button for the second to last episode of the season you're watching. The intro blares loudly, a sharp contrast to the silence only moments before. You look over at Alphys, who has a sort of blank expression on her face, but once she catches you staring, she offers a small smile.
You give her one back, albeit strained a small amount, but still semi-genuine.
The episode goes on for about half an hour, and you don't really watch it, but Alphys seems to be enjoying herself. That's one of the things you're actually happy to be on the surface for. Alphys and everyone else has access to things of rarity in the Underground, like current products, and in this case, anime.
By the time the episode finishes, your left in silence again, but nobody talks this time. Alphys blinks blearily, obviously tired, but too engrossed in the episode to go to sleep. You have half a mind to convince her to go to bed, but figure you're not really one to talk.
The loud title scene blares in once again, and despite the constant on screen action of the finale, you see Alphys nodding off in the corner of your eye, about fifteen minutes into the episode.
You feel yourself begin to do the same, and even though you're on the couch and more exposed if you have a nightmare, (which is a distinct possibility) you find yourself too tired to care before slowly drifting off into sleep.