Inject
It had been about a week since you’d started the antidepressants, and, well, nothing really was different so far. But of course, that was to be expected. Alphys had said that it would take at least four weeks before you would begin to notice anything.
However, the only thing you had noticed was minor side effects. Like the way you’re a bit more fidgety than normal, and it only seems a bit harder to fall asleep at night. Not that you’re unused to falling asleep at late hours, only to be woken soon after from a nightmare, but it’s noticeable. At least to you.
That being said, nightmares have continued to plague your sleep, none quite as bad as the horrible ones you’ve had before, but they seem to be more frequent compared to before you started medication. It doesn’t really bother you though. You can handle it. If there’s even a small chance you’ll feel better by taking this, you’ll do it.
But there’s this feeling you just can’t shake. This feeling of dread that seems right around the corner. That suddenly, soon, something will go wrong and it will just be a spiral downwards after that. It makes no sense honestly; everything’s been going better than it has in a while. But for some reason you just can’t shake the thought that you’re going to go back to your old self. Stuck in the RESETS once more. Or maybe something worse. But that won’t happen.
Will it?
Frisk taps you on the shoulder, interrupting your train of thought. You turn your attention to them, and they start signing, ‘Sans?’
“yeah, kiddo?”
‘Mom says that i’m starting school tomorrow. At a place in the town.’ You nod, realizing Frisk might be nervous about the whole thing. They wanted to go to Toriel’s school, but it might be a while before that’s set up. ‘I was wondering…’ They stop signing briefly, pausing for only a moment before continuing, ‘I was wondering if you could take me? It’s not really that far.’
“yeah, i think i’ve seen the place before. big brick building?” You ask. Frisk nods. “wanna take a shortcut?” You ask, already knowing the answer.
Frisk excitedly bobs their head up and down while simultaneously signing ‘Yes’ over and over again. ‘Thank you so so so much!’
“geese kid, if i’d had known you’d been this excited ‘bout shortcuts, would’ve shown you a few more.” You wink at them. “alright, alright, how early do i have to get up?”
Frisk takes a moment in thought before responding, ‘I’m pretty sure it starts at nine. I’ll double check with mom, but i’m pretty sure that’s right.’
You give them a ‘flabbergasted’ look, “really kid? that early?” Frisk giggles at your over exaggerated response. “s’not a problem. i’ll meet you in the kitchen at 8:45, if that’s okay?”
‘Yes. Thank you again Sans!’ They smile up at you.
“as i said, not a problem. got all your school stuff ready?”
‘Yeah, mom took me shopping earlier today.’
You look over at the clock on the cable box beneath the tv. 10:02. “then what are you doing up? wasn’t your bedtime at 9:30?”
Frisk flashes you a devious smile, not like ones that are associated with memories you’d rather not talk about, but a smile filled with just a childish misbehavior.
“Night Sans!” They say, surprising you, before running upstairs into their room.
They sort of remind you of Papyrus when you were both younger. Cheering you up no matter how bad your day had been.
Everything hurts. Your neck hurts especially, but that doesn’t mean the rest of your body doesn’t hurt. Because, oh boy, it does. But you’ve grown used to it. Used to the soreness that comes a few hours after you’re injected. It’s even the preferable state for you, seeing as that a few hours before this, when you were injected with that damn ‘Determination’ it was so much worse. So, so much worse. It was pure agony. Your whole body melting like you’ve fallen into the lava at Hotland, except the pain multiplied ten times. And you can’t even have the release of death, because the pain goes on for what seems like hours, hours where your body is literally melting from the inside out. Hours where your so called father writes down the results like you’re some sort of, some sort of… experiment. Because that’s what you are.
You try your best to shake yourself out of your thoughts as you approach your house. You’ve had to walk home after every experiment, except for the first, where you were too overwhelmed with pure emotion and pain and guilt and betrayal that you couldn’t help but faint. And you awoke on an uncomfortable couch in your ‘father’s’ office in the lab. However, the former mentioned was nowhere to be seen. And you didn’t have the energy to look for him, nor did you want to. So you left. And walked home. The way you are now, and have been doing.
And all you want to do is go into your room and sleep until you can’t sleep anymore, and once you reach that point, knock yourself out in the hopes of never waking up again. But you can’t. You can’t because your brother, the only person you can trust anymore, is oblivious to what’s happening. And that’s good, because he shouldn’t know what’s happening. Because if your ‘father’ got his hands on Papyrus...no. Nope. Not happening.
Obviously, Papyrus knows something is up. But he probably just expects that dad’s been extra harsh on you recently. Which is true, when he comes home (if he comes home at all; he hasn’t been leaving the lab recently), he’s made sure to make your punches a little harder than the norm. And you really, really wish that was all that was going on.
And it’s not. But there’s nothing you can do about it, and you’re certainly not telling Papyrus. So, instead, you put the best smile on your face that you can manage and open the door to your house. Papyrus sees you from the kitchen where he’s heating up dinner for both of you. He’s really grown up over the past couple years.
“SANS! YOU’RE HOME!” Papyrus yells, running towards you.
He pulls you into a gentle hug, but however gentle, you still hold back flinching at the painful contact. “I missed you today.” He says quietly to you.
“i missed you too Paps.” You say back, smiling a little easier now. “i missed you too.”