The Rehersal
“So what do you and the giant wolf find to talk about?” Jody asks as Alex works on her letter at the island.
“Honestly, mostly what to do about Claire and Hel lately.” Alex confesses looking the paper over. “We both agree that Claire’s little rebound fling with Persephone is entirely Hel’s fault, but they’re both being absolute children about this. I don’t know how we’re going to survive the rehearsal much less the reception. Oh, I’m so nervous. We’re having the rehearsal dinner on a boat.”
“Are you afraid of water now?” Jody pulls out a bar stool and sits down next to her.
“No, it’s just we’ve been fairly free of major incidents and things are on track and going according to plan so obviously the earth is going to open up and swallow us whole or we’ll be devoured by a sea monster or I’ll see him in person and we won’t be attracted to each other or he’ll be an asshole or try to eat me or something. Well, no, I’m pretty sure he won’t try to eat me. But he could.” Alex taps her pen on the granite countertop. “You see?” Jody puts her hand over Alex’s to stop the tapping.
“You’re nervous about meeting that wolf god.” Jody makes a face.
“Maybe a little. He’s very sweet. Maybe not the brightest most insightful person, but still very fun to talk to.…”
“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about not being attracted to him the little car theif was… fairly attractive. Greyish hair of varying shades. Yellowish wolfy eyes, a very masculine frame.
“He’s a darling grey wolf. When Bree turned me into a honey badger he let me attack him without a fuss. I was playing of course, but he was very gentle with me.” Alex reassures Jody who raises an eyebrow. “I can’t wait to hear him laugh. He laughed a lot as a wolf but it was silent and I doubt he’d be wagging his tail and writing convulsively on the floor as a human. Oh god, what if it’s really weird like high pitched or just…”
“Alex.” Jody pats her hand. “Relax. It’s one date. Not an arranged marriage.” She reassures her then pauses. “It’s not, is it?”
“No. I’ve already been married one time too many and if anyone tries it again, I’ll stab them in the face. Maybe Krissy will let me borrow Death’s garter knife.” Alex considers. “No, she’ll probably be wearing it. Oh I can ask her if he’s cute. She’s seen him human. Of course so has Claire but she won’t do anything but sigh and roll her eyes.”
“Does it really matter? I never thought of you as being so appearance oriented.”
“You mean shallow? No, I’m not. I don’t know. Physical attractiveness is usually a good indicator of attraction.And being attracted to a romantic prospect is definitely important. I just… I don’t want to get a picture in my head and then be disappointed or look disappointed and hurt his feelings. I definitely don’t want to be taken by surprise like I was with Michael’s new vessel. Now that was embarrassing.”
“New vessel?”
“You’ll see at the rehearsal tonight.” Alex grins. “Oh, so hot. It took me a few ddas to get used to.
“His last one was kind of cute.” Jody shrugs. Alex just shakes her head. “You didn’t think so?”
“Not like this. He’s like Dean level gorgeous . But with more masculine features like Sam. What time is it?”
“We still have a few minutes so relax.” Jody puts a hand on her shoulder and sits down next to her. “Alex you’re not… developing feelings for Michael are you? Transference can work both ways you know.” The look Alex gives her at this is answer enough even before she opens her mouth to reply.
“His new body may be cute and initially distracting but when he opens his mouth, Michael is still very much Michael. I like him, but no.” Alex shakes her head. “You won’t give Rhys a hard time at the wedding will you? Everyone’s giving him such a hard time about wanting to date me.”
“Gee, I wonder why.” Jody says flatly. Alex just gives her a pleading half pouty look. “He stole my squad car, Alex. And totaled it and nearly got you killed in the process. You can bet your boots that I’m going to give him a hard time if he’s going to date you. And beyond that he’s thousands of years old and you’re a virgin not even old enough to legally drink. You have to know that you’re going to be in over your head.”
“He’s never been anything but sweet to me, Jody.”
“Fine. You’re old enough to make your own decisions at least. Just… be careful, okay?” Jody sighs. “You’re on the pill right?”
“That arm implant, and a copper iud and condoms in my purse. Happy?” Alex goes back to writing.
“Not even a little.”
“Alex, Sheriff Mills, are you ready to depart?” They hear behind them. Jody gives a start, though Alex is pretty much used to it by now.
“We talked about the knocking thing, Michael.” She sighs.
“I had no reason to believe either of you would be undressed as I am taking you both to the rehearsal.” He counters.
“Yeah, well Jody’s an old woman, you could have given her a heart attack.” Alex continues writing.
“Oh, thanks.” Jody smacks her arm.
“Her heart is in fine condition.”
“Not the point either, Michael. It’s a matter of respect. If you don’t respect me enough to do this simple thing then you clearly don’t respect me enough to talk to me about anything and I have better things to do that talk to people who think so little of me.”
“That is neither here nor there, Alex. It’s time to depart.” Michael chides her.
“So are angels morally opposed to doors or something?” Jody asks, pausing to look him over. Michael must be extremely Michael not to at least make Alex think about it. “Wow, so the new you… You’re wearing Dean’s father, right? You have the same eyes. I mean… well, at least now I know where the boys got their looks from.”
“Be necessity my vessel must be physically strong, as genetically perfect as humanity can be at this stage, healthier, and more resilient than other people. The physical attributes that result from this are often considered desirable in a sire for potential healthy offspring. I don’t know why people feel the need to inform me at this on a constant basis.” He crosses his arm.
“Well, you’d better get used to it.” Jody looks back to Alex who folds up the letter and puts it in her pocket. Did she seriously start an argument with an archangel to get time to finish her letter? Or has this actually been that big of an issue with him.
“Let’s hope Hel and Claire don’t get into a fight tonight.” She crosses her fingers and walks over to Michael. “Alright. Let’s go. But next time knock, even if you know I’m fully clothed and waiting for you.” Okay, it’s definitely been a problem.
Rhys is not at the rehearsal, which she didn’t completely expect but hoped he’d at least be there in wolf form. Everyone took a while to get the procession right. Claire and Hel mostly ignored each other’s existence with extreme tension and latent hostility. Even when Claire accidentally stepped on Hel’s skirt, which was accidental, Hel only snapped it into a mini skirt which made Claire try very hard to pretend she wasn’t distracted by her ex’s legs. What’s extra sweet is that Babe asked Michael to take the place of the father of the bride to give her away. Though it’s an archaic tradition.
“Who gives this angel to this man in holy matrimony?” Garth’s father-in-law asks as Michael and his sister reach the front.
“Actually, I think we’ll keep her.” Michael says thoughtfully before grabbing his sister by the waist and vanishing with her.
“He-he’s joking right?” Sam turns to Dean who shrugs. Though Raphael seems amused regardless. “Raphael?” The angel shrugs as well. Fortunately the two angels return, Babe laughing her ass off.
“Okay, that was a good one.” Dean confesses as they wait for the bride to be to compose herself.
“Who gives this angel to this man in holy matrimony?” Pastor Werewolf asks once everything gets back in place.
“Her brother and I do.” Michael says solemnly and with perfect decorum.
“No exchanges or returns.” Babe throws her leg at Raphael for this. Alex gives a sigh as she’s actually starting to feel really hungry. Her stomach growls much to her embarrassment.
“Can we just do this? The humans are starving over here.” Claire waves at them.
“Sorry. Here.” Babe snaps them each up an ice cream cone with sprinkles. Chocolate, of course, which always makes Alex think of mouse droppings which she saw far more of growing up then she did chocolate sprinkles. Not that Babe would know this as it never came up before. Claire takes Alex’s ice cream cone, quickly eats the sprinkles off and hands it back.
“Thanks.” Alex smiles at her.
“No prob.” Claire grins back.
The rest goes fairly well, Four of the bridesmaids eating ice cream cones and Raphael holding his sister’s prosthetic leg. They don’t say their vows yet as they’re saving it for the wedding, but there are no more interruptions or mistakes. Except for Krissy who doesn’t eat her cone fast enough and it drips onto her shirt.
“See. This is why we don’t do this in full dress,” Claire sighs, pulling a wipe from her pocket and cleans off Krissy’s face and shirt before she can protest.
“Really, Claire?” Alex raises an eyebrow at her.
“Aw, I was saving that for later.” Krissy jokes looking down at her chest.
“Sorry.” Claire blushes, realizing what she’s done.”I’m still used to Jeanie.”
“Persephone kidnapped a homeless child.” Krissy gives a curt smile.
“Rescued her, Krissy. Perse rescued her.” Claire corrects her. “Her parents froze to death. She was three. We found her grandmother, eventually. Perse just kind of gravitates towards dead people, just randomly finds them places.”
“Like a cadaver dog.” Krissy’s comment makes Hel grin a little. “Or Jessca Fletcher.”
“You have to admit it’s come in handy.” Claire says defensively.
“Who’s Jessica Fletcher?” Alex asks.
“Angela Lansbury? Murder She Wrote? Crime novelist solves a suspicious amount of murders that inexplicably occur everywhere she goes. There are fan theories that she’s secretly a serial killer framing people left and right. Which doesn’t explain the confessions. Unless she threatens their families somehow, you know, off screen.” Krissy muses. “Seriously though, that many people dying in such a small town? There’s something going on there. Maybe she’s some kind of monster? Hey Dean, what kind of monster would Jessica Fletcher have to be to kill and frame all those poeple and induce confessions and stuff?”
“I don’t know. We should binge watch it later and try to figure it out.” Dean seems to find the question equally intriguing. “ Shifter maybe?”
“Can we eat now?” Claire interrupts the two.
“As soon as Raphael gives me back my leg, sure.” Babe holds her hand out. “Toss it here, Raph.”
“No.” Raphael shakes his head.
“Raph…” His sister gives an exasperated sigh.
“I told you the last time that next thing you threw at me, I was keeping. Didn’t I?” He gives her a stern look.
“Wh… that was two whole Days ago!” She protests. “Just… give me back my damn leg.”
“No. I’ll grow back the real leg if you want, though.”
“No! C’mon Raph, What are you going to do with a false leg?” Babe pleads giving Dean a grudging appreciation for her older brother.
“Not give it to you.”
“Michael…” She turns to her eldest sibling for help, that she doesn’t really expect to get because Raphael’s his favorite.
“He did tell you.” Michael says, of course. “But it would be very nice if he would return it anyways.”
“I can’t. It’s a matter of principle.” Raphael stubbornly insists.
“Alright.” Babe gets a look on her face that Hel is glad is not aimed at her or her loved ones. “Fine. Two can play at this game.” She disappears.
“Gabriel? Where are you going? What are you doing? You’d better not be in my room, you brat!” Raphael disappears as well.
“You’re not going to intervene?” Dean asks Michael.
“Not unless it devolves to violence.” Micheal walks over to the railing behind the main table. “Besides, I’m retired.”
“You can’t retire from being a big brother.” Dean protests.
“I can try.” And of course with a little sister like Gabriel, no one blames him.
“Thank Cas for saving the best man’s speech for dessert.” Alex sighs slumping down in her chair, feeling full as hell. “They’re not back yet?” She looks around for Babe and Raphael.
“I’d better go after them.” Michael sighs getting out of his chair. Of course, that’s when they return, Babe with her leg back in place.
“Sorry, we’re late. There was a bit of a mexican stand off there for a bit. What’d I miss?” She gives Sam a kiss, sitting down next to him.
“A delicious peaceful dinner.” He informs her. “You’re just in time for the best man speech.
“Is that supposed to be given at the reception and not the rehearsal?” Dean grouses, arms crossed.
“Wedding expert are we?” Babe comments.
“Dean…” Sam shoots him a look. Dean just rolls his eyes and looks away as Garth consolingly pats his shoulder.
“Tap the glass with the spoon, baby.” Dean says quietly as Castiel waits to make his speech, just standing waiting for the deck to quiet. Of course when Cas strikes the glass with the spoon it shatters in his hand. Amidst his big sister’s laughter he shoots his boyfriend a dark look. “Did I say to break it?” Dean holds up his hands as Sam represses a smile.
“Save the glass breaking for your own wedding, paseh.” Babe snaps the glass back into one piece.
“Well, you have everyone’s attention anyway.” Sam points out.
“Yes.” He agrees and waits for the snickers to die down a bit. “When I first met Sam, I’m ashamed to say I did not hold him in high regard. He was born an instrument of evil destined to help wreak havok on heaven and earth alike, tainted by the blood of demons, an abomination unto god and man.”
“Love you, too, Cas.” Sam mutters taking a drink.
“Or so I thought. But I was wrong, in more ways than one. As I grew to know him I saw his kindness, his compassion, his innate goodness which he refused to be swallowed by the darkness, despite his mistakes. I saw free will used as it should be.
‘I must admit when I was first with him, I could not help but think of our brother, the shining star of heaven who was destined to lead and guide heaven and earth in our father’s glory, but betrayed us all so terribly. And in truth they do share some qualities, a certain stubbornness, a tendancy to rebel, a refusal to accept that what is, is what should be. And yet in the most important ways, they are so different. What were faults in our brother, were in Sam nearly virtues, used to save and redeem instead of destroy and corrupt. The more I saw, the more I liked and respected this man. I began to consider him my friend.
“Though it was not truly until I had spent time as a human myself that I truly understood the depths of his character, the true extent of his strength. It wasn’t until I was tempted that i understood what it meant to resist temptation. It took my own grievous errors to truly understand and forgive his. It wasn’t until I fell that I could appreciate what it meant to pick yourself up again and I only hope that one day I will rise to the heights that this man had, be as good a being, as good a friend, as loving a brother.
“And so, soon, I will have the privilege of seeing my dearest friend joined together in love and unity with my beloved elder sister, the one who, much to my delight, took an interest in me in my youth and helped teach me to fly when I lagged dangerously behind.” This gets a few chuckles from those in the know, even getting a twitch of a smile from Raphael that he carefully conceals from the angel.
“In truth, it’s likely I would not be here today without her intervention, though I very nearly wasn’t with it. And in all my time I have not been able to repay her until now, when I am about to entrust her with one so dear to me. “ he holds a hand down to her. She smiles and takes it, standing up to hug her little brother who gives her a hug that lifts her from the desk and proceeds to immediately throw her off the side of the boat. Everyone rushes to the side and looks down as she resurfaces, spitting out a little spout of water as she does do. “It’s not the primordial seas but I consider us even now.”
It’s only her laughter that keeps Raphael from laying into him, though he’s still out of sorts at the prank.
“Will you stop fooling around down there and come up here so we can finish this dinner?” Raphael scolds his sister as she swims in little circles alongside the boat, dog paddling, which oddly enough makes her daughter start to laugh. Michael just shakes his head.
“A little help?” She reaches her hand up to her brother. Raphael doesn’t take the bait, but Alex who’s beside him does and gets pulled in before he can stop her.
“Ho-oly fuck it’s cold.” Alex gasps resurfacing, already chattering.
“February weather at this latitude is not warm enough for this.” Raphael chides, snapping Alex back into the boat, warm and dry.
“T-thank you.” Alex gives a shiver as her brain hadn’t quite caught up to her body yet.
“Good point.” Babe snaps them all to a small island in the carribean, removing the dessert bar to the beach and every human into the warm blue sea.
“So,” Sam wades out of the water next to his brother as the girls splash around in the water. “In light of the circumstances, I think you’ll be my best man after all.”
“What? No, don’t take it away from Cas for this. That was fucking awesome and you know it.” Dean grins. It was almost worth being passed over as best man for.
“You wouldn’t have thrown her overboard?” Sam asks, smiling himself. He did actually find it hilarious.
“I couldn’t have gotten away with it.” Dean quite reasonably points out. “Besides you know she let him do it.”
“Yeah, and I still want you as best man.” Sam nudges Dean’s leg with his own, resting his arm lazily over his knees. “I always did.”
“What you wait until the rehearsal dinner to tell me?” Dean exclaims. “What the hell, Sam?”
“Figured I’d make you sweat a little. You know, for all the crap you gave us. And besides everything I said was true. I liked his idea of a bachelor party much better than I would have yours. Though as for the speech I’m fairly sure that you wouldn’t have called me an abomination unto god and man in yours.”
“No, but I did have this bedwetting story…”
“Yeah, okay, then I still prefer his.”
“So why make me your best man at all, then?” Dean scowls.
“Do you really have to ask?” Sam looks at him beseechingly. “I mean. you’re my brother, my soulmate. I love you more than anything.”
“You see, it’s shit like this that makes people write that damn fan fiction, Sam.” Dean blushes, but puts his arm around his brother anyways.
“C’mon Dean, you know I don’t swing that way.” Sam teases. “Not even in a threesome with Babe.”
“Dear god, I would rather sleep with you than with her.” Dean makes a disgusted face. Sam just raises an eyebrow at this. “You know what I mean.”
“Uh-huh, yeah. I’m just going to go sit over here. Okay?” Sam points to the side and scoots away.
“Very funny, Sam. Where the hell did that even come from? That woman is warping your fragile little mind.” Dean accuses.
“No, that’s just the only way I could get her to stop trying to convince me to have a threesome. She found it so disturbing she can’t even think about it again. Same with partner swapping.” Sam shrugs.
“By naming me as a participant?” Dean actually sounds offended at this.
“You and Cas, yeah. As it turns out, she would also rather sleep with me than for you and her to get it on. One more thing you two have in common.” Sam manages to keep a straight face at this up until the point Dean throws a wet peice of seaweed at his face.
“Bitch.”
“Jerk.”