Parting is such sweet sorrow
"What do you want?" Krissy asks, sitting in the dark in the nursery, refusing to look at the silent figure with the dapper cane standing on the other side of the empty crib.
"I came to inform you that the soul that inhabited your son's body has been moved on to another life. Normally he wouldn't be quite so far up in the queue, but hunters do not readily accept these things. In fact they have a tendency to upend existence in all manner of normally entertaining ways but for my adjutant's sake, I wish to avoid that sort of upheaval." Death gently informs her.
"I hate you."
"I know." He gives a solemn nod. "The living often do."
"Why should I believe he's already moved on? Why should I let him stay..." Krissy's throat catches as she realizes she's suggesting killing another woman's unborn child. "Why should I just accept any of this. W-why does he even need a soul?"
"I am inevitable, Kristiana. It's true that I am enjoying playing my part, bending the rules, testing the nature of my own existence, but all things must end and change and we cannot control when and where. It must do so with a greater purpose than your own selfishness."
"Selfish?" Krissy looks at him. "Wanting my son back is selfish? Wanting him to... to get to live the life he was given is selfish?"
"Yes."
"Fine! Than I'm selfish. I want him to be with me. I want him to grow up and be happy with me! And I don't care how fucking that selfish that is because he's my son!"
"He is already starting his new life, Kristiana. And it will likely be a long and happy one. There is no reason for him to be here with you."
"He's my son and I love him. Isn't that reason enough?"
"No."He says flatly. "And you know it. As for why he needs a soul? The Winchesters can answer that question very well. Or should you care for a literary reference. I believe Pet Semetary by Steven King is a fairly accurate portrayal of a cranky soulless toddler."
"What's the point then?" Krissy looks down at her lap. "What was the point?"
"I don't know."
"What do you know?" She demands."I can't decide wether to tell you to go fuck yourself or invite you closer."
"I'm in no hurry for your decision."
"I just want the pain to go away."
"It will, regardless of what you do."
"I don't understand. I waded through the acheron, every pain I ever had hitting me from every angle. How can this hurt so much worse?"
"It's always the harm done to those we love that hurt us the most."
"I just... I don't know. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters." She covers her face, bending over as she struggles not to cry.
"Krissy?" Harahel appears before her. Death takes his leave.
"What are you doing here?" The unfreindly question and tear streaked glare leveled at her make the angel cringe.
"I.. you were calling for me. So loudly."
"I wasn't." she states coldly. "I wouldn't. Why would I?"
"Because...I'm your friend?" Hara asks meekly. "And you need me."
"Need you? Because I need you? Where the hell were you when he needed you? Where were you that was so important that you let my son DIE?"
"I'm sorry. I tried everything. I couldn't do anything." Hara kneels down in front of her, taking hold of her hand. "I tried... I.."
"Well, it wasn't good enough, was it? Is it ever good enough? You... useless pointless angel! Go back to your damn books. I wish I never met you. Now get away from me! I don't ever want to see you again!" She pulls her hands away. When Hara disappears, Krissy's lap feels oddly lighter. Harahel took her gun. She'll let Krissy's son die but not let her make her own damn choices? Who gave her the right? Who? Something snaps deep inside her and she stands up and starts smashing furniture. She doesn't even know why. Just that she hates it. She hates everything in this room. Everything that has the gall to be here when Chrysander isn't.
"Krissy. Krissy! Stop!" Josephine and Aiden finally get the door unlocked and grab her before she can start smashing the walls, all painted with little rows of dancing jellybeans. 'It's okay." They try to calm her.
"NOTHING IS OKAY!" Krissy starts to cry and can't seem to stop, Jo and Aiden just hold her until she can't cry anymore.
"Hara?" Miti looks through the stacks. "Are you here?" There's no response.
"She's over here." Zuri calls from the other end. Miti flies over the shelves to them. Hara's just sitting in the corner staring at a picture of her Krissy and the baby in the hospital.
"We found a spell we think to make the Thule forget about you." Miti starts as she doesn't know what else to say. Hara doesn't reply.
"It wasn't your fault, Hara." Zuri sits down beside her. "I can't believe that asshole turned you in, that... hypocrite. As if he never dealt with demons himself." He embraces the silent angel.
"Raphael saved him, Zuri." Miti reproaches her brother, joining the two on the floor. "Or would you rather have Hara trapped in Hell, being tortured by demons?"
"No, of course not, but he didn't have to tell on her and get her in trouble. He's not in charge anymore. He should have showed some damn compassion."
"Zuriel..." Miti starts to give a heated reply.
"Stop fighting." Harahel finally speaks up. "I deserve to be punished and they were both very compassionate and very merciful and I know it. Please just leave me alone."
"Okay, but not for long. And only because we need to go find a witch. I think there was one the winchesters worked with who can help. Dad worked with her, too, so it has to be okay if we do." Miti sooths her. "But we need one of your feathers for the spell, okay? And a picture."
"There you two are." Rye flies down, inserting himself between Miti and Zuri. "What are you two doing here? Away from everybody?" He asks suspiciously.
"We're talking to our sister, what do you think we're doing? Sneaking off to do things requiring body parts we don't currently have?" Zuri retorts.
"Don't you speak to me you... defiler."
"You know it was my idea, Rye." Miti sighs, pulling him back. "We need to get a few things and then go find a witch to do the spell to protect Hara from those necromancers."
"And how are you going to pay this witch? They never do anything for free and don't you dare offer her a future favor."
"Well, Hara found this ancient spellbook, egyptian that she translated." Zuri holds it up. "Witches love old spellbooks."
"Have you lost your mind? You can't...." Zuri opens the cover to show the translated index. "Oh. I see. Well, I'm coming with you. I don't trust the two of you alone in your vessels. And don't give me that ' they're not even the same vessels' crap. You're the same angels." Miti and Zuri just sigh and roll their eyes. "Don't roll your eyes at me. Now what else do you need?"
"A feather. Come on, Hara. We're not leaving without it." Zuri pats her head. Hara pulls one out and hands it to him along with the picture.. "Thanks you. We love you, Hara, and as soon as we get back we'll come help you figure out how to make things right wth Krissy." Harahel doesn't say a word to this, or even say goodbye when they kiss her cheek and leave.
She stays there for what seems like a very long time. Finally someone enters the library again.
"There is a librarian, isn't there?" Hara hears Ramiel, her assigned parole officer ask as he enters the library. That's odd, Ramiel knows she's the librarian. Hara flies over to greet them.
"Did you need me?" She asks at their startled looks.
"Are you the librarian?" Ezra asks. "I haven't seen you before."
"You saw me just last week. You wanted a book on the evolution of Jazz."
"Oh. Right." He frowns, but still doesn't look as if he quite remembers. "I wanted to return it." He holds it out. "Rami was on the way here when I came across him. Rami?"
"I was, but I'm not sure why. Are you sure you're the librarian?"
"Yes. I always have been. my name's Harahel." She frowns.
"Sorry. So many angels, so many names. I'll see you again when I remember what I needed I guess." He shakes his head.
"Okay." Hara just stands there as they walk out again. It took a whole day for his siblings to forget about her after her last mistake. Maybe it's easier the second time.
"Gorgeous wings though." She hears Ezra comment as they walk out. "Whoever he is."
"Who ever who is?" Nathan asks.
"The librarian." They point back.
"Harahel?" Well at least Nathan remembers her at least.
"Yes. He says he's been the librarian always. I don't remember him., though." Ramiel replies.
"What are you talking about? We've only ever had one librarian. Never mind." he shakes his head and enters the library. "Hara, hey, how are you doing? The fledglings are asking about you."
"Oh."
"They keep asking about the baby, too. Raphael tried explaining, but they don't quite understand."
"Neither do I. Have you seen my batch mates? Or Rye?"
"They're in the garden arguing over something. Want me t send them in?"
"No. I'm okay."Hara says quietly. "Thank you though, did you need a book?"
"No. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. It's hard when children die and you can't do anything. If you want to grieve with the fledglings it might help all of you."
"I'll think about it. Thank you, though."
"And if you need someone to watch the library while you go see Krissy, I will when I'm free. I know how special vessels can be. Well, not at the moment, I mean, but you know." Nathan nods to himself, one of many angels currently not using a vessel.
"Okay. I'm going to just go see my brothers in the garden right now. I'll be right back if anyone needs me." Hara shrugs uncomfortably.
"Take your time." Nathan pats her shoulder.
Zuri and Miti are sitting under the tree patiently listening to Rye lecture them about behaving responsibly, appropriate behavior between siblings, the definition of incest and why it's a bad idea.
"We're not having children, Rye. And our vessels weren't related even so." Miti explains patiently. "It was just one time. I never got to do it when I was human."
"You don't know, you can't know.."
"Excuse me." A strange small blue angel with beautiful mother of pearl wings approaches them.
"No, we are having a private conversation., ... uh, I'm sorry. Who are you?" Rye frowns at the angel who looks crestfallen for some reason. With a million siblings is he really supposed to know all of them by name?
"I'm the librarian. Harahel. You.. I gave you a spell book from the library. Where is it?" The angel asks, though the question makes the angels cringe a little. "It's okay. I won't be mad. Can... can you just tell me who has it and I can go get it back myself."
"Um, I... I'll take you there."Zuri gets to his feet eager to get away from Rye's lecturing.
"Thank you." the little angels miles weakly and follows him down to earth.
"What are you doing back here?" A slender woman with red curls demands when they appear in the room. "Come to take my wallet now you cheats? I did your spell for you, you welshers, for a spell book."
"It didn't work. And we gave you a spell book the year and author we promised." Zuri protests.
"This is not the book I had in mind!" She throws Horus' Guide for Safe Birth and Infant Health at Zuri. "Useless... do you think because I'm woman I have to be in love with babies and motherhood. Angels. Worse than demons."
"Maybe you don't care but other women do. You could do so much good with that. It's the most important book there is!" Hara exclaims despite herself, snatching up the book.
"And who is this one now?"
"I'm the librarian. But you probably don't remember me either." Hara says bitterly. "Go home, Zuriel. I need to speak with her alone."
"Are you sure?" Zuri asks a bit reluctantly. Hara just nods, so Zuriel gives a shrug and goes back to heaven.
"You do look familiar." She puts her hands on her hips and appraises him. "Ah, yes, the picture. that was you and the one with the wee bairn. You're the one they wanted forgotten, then."
"Not by everybody. Just the thule." Hara sighs.
"This spell doesn't exactly make distinctions dearie. It wiped you from every human brain alive." She sits down on the chair and rests her cheek on her fingers. "What a pretty pcikle we have here. Why don't you have a seat while we discuss my fee to correct this... unfortunate overreach."
"Every human brain. Is that why some of my brothers forgot me as well? It worked on the ones using vessels?" Hara asks. that means the archangels have forgotten about him as well,
"Have they now? Isn't that interesting?" She perks up. "Could be useful."
"So could this." Hara pushes the spellbook back towards her. "Some people would give anything for their children. Why let demons have all the fun?"
"Very well, but if you want anything from me again, I name the price. Now if you want me to undo this, I'll need a few things. Another feather for one, lovely thing,and the spell of abjuration from the same book as the forgetting spell. As for my price..."
"No, thank you." Hara shakes her head and takes off, not wanting to talk further, leaving the book behind her. It's probably better this way.