Heart to Heart
"No." Krissy says cooly, "That's true. You definitely aren't cut out for the life. You just stick to your whores and poker games. I'm sure it's very fulfilling." She ends the call, throwing the phone across the room. Josephine catches it before it can break against the wall. "Saul refuses to take Hara back."
"Well, it is his body. He has the right to do with it as he pleases." Jo reminds her and sits down on the guest bed beside her. "Are you okay?"
"No." She leans against her freind." "I feel like crap. I'm a horrible selfish person."
"I know." Jo rests her cheek against Krissy's head.
"Gee thanks."
"C'mon, you know you're not. I still say that whole thing with Thanatos was more stockholm syndrome than a healthy relationship. Even if it's not, I mean I'm sure he's decent, for a greek god, but sometimes it just doesn't click the way we want it to. And sometimes it clicks the way we don't want it to. You'll be okay, Kris. We're here for you. You know that." She rubs her shoulder.
"I know. It would be so easy if I could just love him and want what he wants or even just agree that it was the best thing. If I could be a stay at home mom and wife and just give up hunting. Maybe it is the best thing and I'm just too stubborn to admit it."
"Maybe but maybe not. And I understand. You can leave the life but it never really leaves you. It just.. takes a different role. And a miserable unfulfilled mother who resents his father and resents him is hardly the most desirable option. Maybe if you can't find a better one, but this is up to you, sweetie."
"I know." Krissy leans over, resting her head in Jo's lap. "I know I can't adjust to a normal life in the normal world. I know I'm just not ready to be a mother. I know I don't want to be with Thanatos. I know so many things but they still don't lead me to an acceptable answer. An abortion would be easier but I've hurt Nat so much already."
"Well, Arden and I have been talking."
"No, not yet. It's not financially feasable. It would disqualify us for way too much and we'd never be able to finish college.."
"You've been trumped, huh?" Krissy sighs.
"Yeah." Jo sighs. "But the way things are set up now, one of us is always home, or could be. I work days, he works nights. We alternate school."
"Okay?"
"Your baby... it'll be a demi-god but we're used to dealing wtih supernatural things. We could find a way to bind it's powers if we needed. If his father would be willing to help it learn to control them..." Krissy looks up at Josephine who gives a small smile.
"You... you'd raise my son?" Krissy sits up.
"Yes. You'd still be his mother of course, but he... it's a boy?" Jo pauses.
"Probably," Krissy shrugs slightly.
"But he'll.. we'll be Aunt Josie and Uncle Aiden taking care of him while Mommy's off hunting. Keeping him safe. We have a house, jobs, freinds, a community mundane and hunter. We let a few stay every now and them when they're coming through. We could ask them to help out a little if we need to. If that's what you wanted, I mean. It could be an option. Daddy said he'd do whatever it took but he didn't suggest keeping the baby himself so as long as we let him see his son every now and then. We'd have to meet him first. If you're sure he can be trusted and should be part of the boy's life."
"Let me talk to Nat. See what he thinks and if he can help financially."
"That would be helpful. Diapers are expensive."
"Hara wants to be his guardian angel. He won't forge money but he did say he'd forge things money can buy, so diapers maybe? I don't know. I suggested godfather, but apparently guardian angel is better." Krissy puts a hand to her stomach. "What if we fuck it up though? Parenting a demigod. What if I give birth to a monster?"
"What if you abort the greatest hunter and hero who would ever have been born? It's a whole bunch of what ifs. You can't go by what ifs, just what is. Make the decision that's right for you, Kris. Just.. know you have options and we'll support you no matter what you do. And you're welcome here wether you need to rest a few days or nine months. This is your home, too." Josephine puts her hand over Krissy's.
"Thanks, Jo."
Claire sighs enjoying the warm downy blankets of Hel's sumptuous decadent enormous bed. When she moves her foot it hits a warm soft lump laying on the covers. She looks over to see Rhys curled up ont he end of hte bed, Hel's hugging and petting the sad looking things, speaking softly to him. Claire smiles at them and goes back to sleep, but not before he lover crawls into bed with her, wrapping her arms around her.
"Good morning." Hel kisses her cheek whenshe starts to wake up for real this time.
"Good morning." Claire smiles. "Goddess, I've missed you."
"I've missed you too, mon Claire."
"Hoe's the baby?" Claire kicks at the foot of the bed, eliciting an unappreciative chuff from Rhys who mock snaps at her foot. "Go eat a small country and give us some privacy, will you?" Rhys tilts his head considering the suggestion, before yawning and leaving the room. "I thought he was mad at you."
"He's never mad enough not to snuggle. He was right. It's not his mess, not his fault, but he still had to do it." Hel sighs. "How long can you stay?"
"Honestly, I shouldn't have come so, until I'm dragged off kicking and screaming I guess." Claire sighs. "Shall we risk being interrupted?"
"Let me bar the door." She snaps her fingers and the door is barred.
"I love it when you do that." Claire grins looking down at her new sleepwear. "Not so fond of the pink lace teddy."
"I love you in lengerie." Hel pouts.
"I know. A little bird also told me you like erotic poetry as well." Claire runs her fingers through Hel's long black hair, caressing her poor scarred face, free of illusion for once. That she's so comfortable with her to just be herself so completely now, makes Clair'es heart skip a beat, every time she sees it.
"I do." Hel sounds intrigued.
"Would you like me to recite one? It's a small one, but it's in norwegian, so I figure that earns me bonus point." Claire smiles.
"It does at that." Hel kisses her. "Especially given how very american you are."
"Hey!" Claire protests, but accepts the kisses anyway.
"I know you'll have an accent but I love american accents. You sound so roguish, and brash. It's kind of sexy." Hel entwines her leg in Claire's and rests her head on her lover's shoulder. "Well?"
"Babygulrot/liten/stygg/ lever i gulroten skygge/ babygulrot." Claire tenderly whispers stroking Hel's cheek. Complete convulsive laughter is not exactly the response she expected. "Oh, come on, my pronunciation isn't that bad." But Hel's unable to respond until she actually falls off the bed. "Are you okay?"
"I take it you did not get the translation?" She quickly gets to her feet, smoothing out her night gown in an attempt to look dignified.
"No, Bree... goddammit!" Claire smacks her face. "What did I say?" she winces waiting for the translation.
"Baby carrot/ small/ ugly/ lives in the shadow of the carrot/ baby carrot." She mimic's Claire's suggestive one.
"Your father's an asshole. You know that right?" Claire scowls crossing her arms.
"I think it's adorable that you trusted him like that. Proof that there's still some sweet innocent naivity in that scarred and jaded hunter's heart of yours." Hel kisses the tip of her nose.
"Just hush and make me forget this just happened." Claire puts her arms around Hel's shoulders, the goddess just laughs some more, before kissing her embarassed girlfreind and making her forget what just happened.
Michael looks around the small studio apartment. It's odd seeing it so cluttered. Gabriel never kept anything in her room in heaven. She was never in it. And everything she thought was worth taking or saving she brought to their brother in the throne room. Helel always complained how lonely and isolated it was in there, how he considered the obvious honor, some sort of punishment. As if he was being quarrantined. Michael didn't understand until he sat on that throne himself.
If he'd known he would have gone into see him more often. He never had time but he'd have made time. Maybe even involved him more in training despite how difficult it was when they disagreed. But would it have made a difference? Or would they have just fought even more. In the end, nothing made a difference, did it? He was still lost. Michael never should have let him take the mark. Hhe should have taken it himself, insisted. But he wasn't asked, just told how it was going to be and he was a good son doing what his father told him no matter how he felt about it, what it would cost him.
Maybe he was supposed to all along. Maybe when Michael didn't offer himself in his brother's place, even when every fiber of his being cried out against it when their aunt demanded to be given their beautiful Helel ben Sahar for her own. But he didn't. Maybe that was the first place he went wrong. Was it a test? One that once failed led their father to just write him off, to take for granted that he would just do as he was told and no more, a dissappointment, just a tolerable one. Why he was left in the cage, because he wasn't enough, and never had been. He wasn't enough to keep his siblings safe. He wasn't enough to even understand their father's will much less carry it out. He wasn't enough to keep his brother in line, to keep his sister home, even to keep Raphael from falling in all but name. What could she have done?
He could have told him that he understood. That he didn’t exactly like it either. That he didn’t see what was so great about humanity either aside from those souls they were given. He also didn’t understand why they were so tiny with such compact mass or why they were so messy and complicated. Why they had to love them, too. He could have admitted how much it stung when they were told they were their father’s greatest creations. After all what did that say about them? He could have told him he felt the same way, but that despite that, he knew that if his brother would only try, it would be worth it.
Because ever since Helel was created, Michael had always been second best. And it had been worth it. Nothing was more rewarding than loving his wonderful beautiful brother and being loved in return. But he didn‘t. He was afraid he would take that and use it to convince her to join him. Because all of heaven knows that Michael had never been able to persuade him of anything. Ever. If only he had known the right things to say, the right things to do, but all he could do was… just try and force him to behave. Just make him do what he was supposed to do, stop questioning all the time, stop saying things he wasn’t supposed to say, but it didn’t help. He was lost anyway.
Michael wonders which of these things Gabriel’s collected she would have given to their brother. Which were important to her personally and why. He’s not exactly sure he wants to know the significance behind the genetalia shaped statue with the plaque stating ‘Peter Iglesias Best Choreography in a Pornographic Film’. There’s a painting of a young girl with black hair, holding a happy smiling baby with a scowling boy next to them. The shadows behind them are ones of a skeleton holding a wolf cub who’s batting at a large snake. On the bottom of the frame is scrawled ‘Mein aeskling kinder, Hel, Rhys, Yuri’
She had a family. Children, and not once did she ever… Did she even miss her siblings? Did she ever even once want to see them again, to have them even be part of her life again? Does she want to be now? Obviously not or she’s be here. No matter what Alex thinks, it’s clear Gabriel doesn’t want anything to do with Michael. That particular message is crystal clear.
“Gabrielle!” Someone kicks in the apartment door. “You’re ass is mine, you little bitch!” It’s a young blonde woman with blue eyes and shoulder length hair, weilding a gregori sword. She sees him and steps back, surprised, but holds up her sword in an alarmingly practiced manner. “Who the hell are you?”
“Your worst nightmare.” He quickly disarms her and grabs her by the throat. “Where did you get that blade?” Michael shoves her against the wall by the door. “Who trained you?”
“Fuck you.” She grabs at his forearm
“STOP!” They hear Alex shout from the hallway.
“No! Alex don’t…” The woman calls out, confusing Michael breifly as Alex limps over to the apartment door.
“It’s okay.” Alex leans on the door, slightly out of breath. “Claire, this is Michael, Michael this is Claire, my sister and Bree’s best freind.”
“She kicked the door open, shouting threats, weilding an angel’s weapon.” Michael frowns, not willing to let the hunter go just yet.
“Yeah, I heard. I ran down as fast as I could, fell down the stairs. And a best freind, of course. Come on, Gabriel’s never done anything that made you want to beat the living crap out of her?” Alex sits down on the chair, rubbing her leg.
“I never would.” He finally lets Claire go.
“That’s not an answer.” Claire rubs her neck.
“What kind of freind behaves in such a manner?” Michael challenges.
“A best freind, duh. Best freinds constantly fuck with each other.” Claire explains. “As she did in a way that deserves a beating.”
“What did she do?”Alex asks before things can re escalate.
“Remember how I wanted to do something special for Hel?” Claire scowls. Alex starts to snicker. “Oh, you little shit, you were in on it!”
“Well, yeah. After you interrogated John at knife point, you kind of had it coming. I can’t beleive he still wants to date me.” Alex sighs. “And what the hell is wrong with you, you little twerp! We told you she was going to let Michael use her apartment until he felt like returning to heaven.” She smacks Claire’s arm.
“I forgot.” She protests. “Are you okay? Hey, back off you psycho.” The girl who kicked in her best freinds door shouting threats pulls out her gun as Michael walks over to Alex. He just ignores her and touches Alex’s forhead.
“Claire. Shut up.” Alex sighs. “Thanks. Sorry about my sister. She’s kind of a dumbass.”
“I can relate.”
“My sword?” Claire demands putting her gun back.
“This is not your sword.” He replies calmly.
“I took it off the angel who killed my mother and killed him with it. I think that makes it mine.” She replies flatly. Michael looks at her, then down at the blade handing it back to her by the handle. The runes on the blade change to her name Claire Novak.
“My apologies. I was unaware we’d failed to fing and eliminate all the rogues. The responsibility for your loss is mine. You may keep the blade and acccept my deepest regrets.”
“It’s hardly your fault. I mean, come on, you can’t do everything.” Claire shrugs and takes it back, slipping it down the sheath on her back. “You know I wouldn’t have actually been able to hurt her, right?” Claire looks up at him. “I was just kind of pissed about thinking I was reciting a, um, romantic poem to my girlfreinds in norwegian and finding out it was really a political metaphor for the forced stagnation of the proletariat.” Alex doesn’t miss the amused ghost of a smile on Michael’s face at this. “I was going to make her help us get you furnature. Alex. Dean’s waiting for the parts to come in before we can save my wagon so..”
“Claire, maybe it’s time to say goodbye.” Alex suggests gently. “It’s had a good run for a free car. There’s no shame in replacing it.”
“It’ll be fine. It just needs a little love, that’s all.”
“And shocks and breaks and a transmission, and airbags and an air conditioner…” Alex starts checking off on her fingers. Claire just crosses her arms and attempts an intimidating glare that doesn’t really work so well with her babyfaced cuteness.
“Miss Novak. I am breifly in need of your services.” Death appears. “And thank you for yours, Ms. Jones. Azrael is returting to her proper place.”
“Oh, thank god.” Claire gives a releived sigh. “I had no idea how to go about that. I was afraid I was going to have to take up smoking after all.”
“That would have been a bit forward don’t you think?” Death raises an eyebrow. Claire grins and shrugs. “I will return her shortly. Michael.” he nods to the angel who refuses to acknowledge the gesture as Claire dissappears.
“She consorts with Death. I have long since learned not to underestimate humanity. My apologies. I didn’t realize she was considered your sister.”
“Well, thank you for not just disintegrating her.” Alex replies.
“I wanted to assess the full extent of the possible threat. You can’t interrogate someone who’s dead.” Michael sits down on the round nest of pillows and comforters Gabriel used as a bed when she was human. “Have you heard from Gabriel?”
“No, not yet.” She shakes her head.
“Is she happy?” He closes his eyes. “Fulfilled?”
“Sometimes. She loves and is loved and is finding her place I think. But she has alot on her plate too. She’ll be okay.” Alex takes out her phone. “Better if I can get her to come and actually have to talk to you.”
“Do you know the significance of any of these items?” Michael picks up a small blue plush hippopotamus. “Does this have any special meaning?”
“It was a preasent.” Alex shrugs. “A goodbye from her physical therapist. ”
“Physical therapist?”
“She accidentally ripped off her prosthetic leg while saving a toddler falling from a bridge and was walking on it wrong anyways, the stress on it making it breakable. It took a while for her to relearn how to use it properly, since she skipped out on it when she got out of the hospital the first time. Her daughter had to physically drag her to half her appointments in order to get her to go at all.”
“She always was difficult to train in anything. She just would not pay attention. It’s probably in reference to some sort of joke between them.”
“Probably. She didn’t tell me what it was.” Alex smiles. “Claire might know.”
“She always did love creation. Everything our father made, she thought it was all fun and hillarious and amazing. Once she was allowed to leave heaven, you couldn't keep her there for long. She must have brought one of every single leaf ever made until Helel ran out of room on his walls. The rest are stored as pressings in the library.” He examines the stuffed animal further.
“What about you? What did you like best?”
“Me? I don’t know. There wasn’t much I could go near. Without a vessel I burn too brightly. I would have to go where it’s cold and bare not to set things on fire just by walking near it. Each vessel reacts to its environment a different way and so has different preferences. Eve’s responded to the cool grass and a light wind the most favorably. Joan loved Music. Deborah loved physical motion. I don’t know what this one prefers. Or what his father did either.”
“Tell me about this vessel, Adam.” Alex leans forwards. “You must have gotten close, spending all that time together.”
“No, he hates me. And he should. He didn’t deserve to be in there. He trusted me,a nd I let him to torment and damnation. I protected him, though. As I said I would. Enveloped and sheilded him, healed him constantly. As soon as I could, I got him out. It won’t make up for anything but at least… at least I can say I kept my word.”
“Your word is important to you.” Alex rephrases.
“How could it not be? Honesty and integrity… how can you lead if you don’t have those? How can people have faith in you if you can’t be depended on? If you can’t be trusted. You’re not going to like everything you have to do, but if you just do your best… and have faith… If people put their faith in you, you owe it to them at the very least to do everything in your power to do what needs to be done.” There’s a hint of frustration in this last statement, maybe a little anger and sense of betrayal. Alex considers going into it further, but it’s probably too soon for that.
“It’s funny, actually.” Alex smiles, thinking of something else to say. “With the aesir fighting and the integrity of your word were two of the most important things there are. Odd how she’d hide in a place like that. Do you think maybe it made her comfortable because it reminded her of you?”
“No. I’m fairly sure she did everything she did to spit in our faces.” Michael puts the hipp down and lapses into distant silence.
“Let me go!” They hear as Raphael appears with Gabriel, they’re both in rather undignified positions. Raphael has his arms hooked under Gabriel’s arms clasped behind her neck, and his leg wrapped around hers.
“No. We are not chasing you across existence. Now will you just stop this cowardsly nonsese and talk to Michael.” Raphael demands.
“And you wondered why I never came to see you.” She snaps, struggling but unable to get free. Michael just sighs and covers his eyes with his hand.
“Raphael, let go of your sister.” he orders.
“But she’ll…”
“Don’t make you tell you twice.” Michael looks sternly at him. Raphael releases her and straightens up, brushing the wrinkles out of his suit.
“Please stay, Bree.” Alex asks softly, getting to her feet.
“This is a family affair.” Raphael says cooly and snaps his fingers sending her back to her apartment.
“Well, that was unneccessary.” Alex grumbles and goes to the fridge. Nothing. Of course, some bottled water. Did she seriously waste her money on bottled water? No, that was Jodie. Her phone rings and she picks it up with a smile. “John, hi. Are you sure? No, no. I’m free… Give me a few minutes to freshen up and sure…. Starving…. great. I’ll see you at five.”