Chapter 10
Olivia stared up at the ceiling, half expecting Noah to wake back up again. He was determined to stay awake this evening. As she melted into the couch, her thoughts churning about, she turned took look at Casey who was fishing through her bag.
“Hey,” Casey said. “I got these as a bonus on that last consultation.” Casey said, handing Olivia a pair of tickets. “I thought you might like to have them. You did said you were interested in seeing this, right?”
Olivia stared at the tickets in her hand. “Yes, but,” she started. “Casey, these are impossible to get.”
“Yeah.”
“Don’t you want to use them? I mean, your mom and those dates everything-”
“I’ve gone on two so far and there is no way. I can’t face any more. I really don’t know what my mother was thinking.”
“She does seem to be putting you through the ringer. I feel a little guilty about it to tell you the truth.”
“Oh, please, she would have found a way in any event. She’s been really persistent about it lately, I have no idea why. And it is definitely not something I want to do in my free time ever again.”
“Well, Munch has drawn particular pleasure in your suffering too. He checks in with me about them as if he’s channeling your mom.”
“Good to know someone’s getting something out of them.”
“Casey, are you sure you don’t want these tickets?”
“Olivia, take the tickets,” Casey said, a note of finality in her tone.
Olivia smiled in acquiescence. “I haven’t been out to see a show in forever. Thank you. That’s really nice.” Olivia stared at the tickets. Finally, she smiled with a slight glint in her eye. “So, what are you doing on Friday?”
“Hmm, It's just a wild guess, but I'm thinking I might be babysitting so you can go out for once.”
“No, you’re not,” she said. “Because, I just came into these great tickets to this show and I think you should go with me.”
Casey smiled in return. “I know who could babysit for you. And she definitely owes me.”
-
“Is your mom really going to be okay with him? You did kind of bring this up on her last second.”
“Oh please, she’ll be fine. She’s already rearranged my furniture. She needs something to do before she goes through my closet.”
“I thought she just came up for the day to finish her shopping.”
“What can I say, she’s efficient. And she wasn't planning on leaving until the last train out.”
“You two should leave now so you can get something to eat first,” her mom’s nearly shrill voice came through the doorway. “But you have to change first, missy, you’ll get horrible service in that.”
“Oh my god mom, stop.”
“Put on something nice like the sergeant and I will.”
“Fine, I’ll change, but, no more talking!”
-
She knew she’d spent too much time around her mother when the streets of NY felt refreshing and quiet. She adjusted her coat around the dress her mother all but made her wear.
“We do have plenty of time to get dinner if you’re hungry.” Olivia said. “What do you want to eat?”
She smiled back at Olivia. “I know someone at a French bistro nearby, I can probably get us in.”
“You lawyers and your connections.”
“It’s impossible to get in anywhere good without a reservation this time of year. Might as well make this worth our while.”
-
Dinner and a show. Olivia was still smiling and riding the high of evening she’d had. As they exited the playhouse, they were greeted with lightly falling snow. The more the evening went on, the more it developed an ethereal feel. She couldn’t stop smiling.
“I can’t believe you were thinking of not coming.”
“I know. That was so much fun.”
“You need to get out more.”
“Hello, Pot, this is Kettle.”
“I didn’t say you that it was only you who needed a night out,” Olivia said. “But I have an excuse.”
“Yes, but even before Noah, you were-“
“What? A hermit?”
“I’d say that you were careful with what little free time you let yourself enjoy,” Casey said with prudent calculation.
“Now, Kettle-“
“I know. I like to work. But I have already admitted that I’d been neglecting myself, not to mention not taking advantage of the city.”
“And you admit this was even way before your recent career change.”
Laugh. “Yes, it was happening even before then.”
“Good, because I wouldn’t have wanted to be the cause of the death of your social life or be the nail on the coffin.”
She laughed even harder. “Well, it wasn’t. You know very well the crap shoot that has been my last two years. But there was something good in going through all that. I had to reevaluate what was important, appreciate the people in my life, the ones that matter. You and your son are part of those people, you know.”
“I do.” She smiled softly, a little more touched than she wanted to admit. She cleared her throat. “And I think that’s the least jaded thing I’ve heard you say in a while.”
She smiled and they continued their walk, shoulders occasionally brushing against each other.
-
Casey had been aware of background hum throughout the evening, the dawning realization that this wasn't just catching a show with a friend. They'd sat a bit close at the restaurant, shared a bottle of wine, brushed fingers over the arm rest at the show, smiled too often during intermission.
They definitely arrived too quickly in front of their building. And stood, awkwardly paused in front of the doors, neither of them knowing what to say, neither really wanting the evening to end. They both must have looked up at the less than innocent sprig over the threshold of the entrance at the same time. They both stared at it, the meaning of it dawning too slowly.
And then, finally, Olivia looked straight at Casey.
Inevitable wasn't quite the right word. But the layers of protection Olivia had built over the years - all of them simply fell away.
She moved forward and brushed the snow off of Casey’s shoulders and out of the loose strands of her hair and leaned in and kissed her.
Casey got over her shock fast, or at least remembered to breathe. She parted her lips beneath Olivia's and then pulled back and looked at her. Tilted her head to meet Olivia’s eyes. But the look was soft, and the hand still at her shoulder curled gently around the back of her neck.
Casey returned the kiss slowly and deeply. Deep enough to stay lost in their night, in the feel of each other for long, timeless moments.
Olivia eventually pulled back, not a little shocked by how much she didn’t want it to end. But without her carefully built layers and walls up to protect her, all she had left was panic.
And then the panic set in. She knew she was going to shut down, and she didn’t know how to stop herself.
“Casey,” she started but had too much trouble finding a way to continue. “I… I can’t.”
And the look on her face, the mixture of resignation and understanding, like Casey expected this, because Casey really does know her, knows who she is - made Olivia’s heart clench.
“Well, then, goodnight,” Casey said, voice quiet. And walked her back to her apartment in silence.