Chapter 11
Olivia marveled daily how much her son learned, how much he knew, how much he was aware of. This morning he kept pointing out the window. Straight across courtyard. He missed his favorite sitter, and knew where her apartment was. Knew how to tell her what he wanted without being able to tell her.
“Baby, she’s not home. My guys all arranged for me the day off with you.”
Her guys knew something was up. Munch noticed it right away. She didn’t turn into a grinch again. She just, suddenly, got quiet. All business. And apparently she’d stopped smiling. Or at least that’s what Munch said before she threatened to put him back out on patrol.
Casey tried to pretend to be normal, but things were awkward. She still came over. They both tried to act so normal, but both of their attentions were overly dedicated to Noah, and during the times when he was distracted or asleep, Olivia could see Casey’s attention diverting, her serious eyes straying for the view out the window, the kitchen, anywhere really, where Olivia wasn’t.
Noah tugged on her hand again. “She went to see her family for Christmas. She’ll be back to see you tomorrow.”
But as she said that the lights in question popped on. And as she looked again, she saw the familiar silhouette moving behind the curtain.
It took Noah fifteen more minutes of making his wishes known, or more accurately, her arguing with herself, of talking herself up before she gave in and headed over.
-
“Merry Christmas,” Olivia said in the doorway. Child on hip and soft smile to mollify what might be yet another unsatisfying interaction.
“Merry Christmas,” Casey said. “What are you doing here?”
“Munch got it covered for me.”
Noah accepted a hug for three seconds before he wiggled past both of them to get near the tree again. “No, I know that-”
“Well, we were in a bit of a break from him playing with wrapping paper and playing with the box the train you told me to buy him came in. He really likes the box,” she said bewildered. “I was thinking about making cinnamon rolls.” She paused noticing the look on Casey’s face. “The ones from the can, even I can do that-” she laughed. Then her laugh quickly died. “He missed you.”
Casey gave her a shaky smile. “I missed him too.”
“And I wanted to, I don’t know, wish you Merry Christmas. Thank you for everything you’ve done for us.”
“It was my pleasure,” she said.
The sound of ornaments falling to the ground brought her attention to the tree. Olivia smiled patiently and looked back to Casey. “I thought you were headed home.”
Casey nodded her head to the large bay window facing the endlessly falling snow. “It’s snowing so much they cancelled my train.”
Goddamn Munch knew the trains were going to be cancelled. He had to. That’s why he insisted he take over today. She sighed. “I’m sorry.”
“Oh, its fine. Who doesn’t like a white Christmas?”
“Maybe everyone waiting for the train?”
“Maybe.” She laughed softly. ”The nanny survive finals?”
“Yeah, she said she’d be back for NewYears.” Her thoughts tapered off and she finally couldn’t put what she’d been meaning to say off any longer. “About that night. I’m really sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about.” Casey smiled graciously. “No damage done.”
“It’s not that-“
“Hey,” Casey said. “It’s really okay. I’m a big girl. I can take an ‘I’m not interested.’ Our friendship is long established enough to take a little bit of wine and mistletoe.” She tried to wave it off. “I was over the next morning, hardly awkward.”
“It’s just that- I mean… you’re a girl scout.”
“I may or may not have been, but you are never seeing the pictures,” she said, trying to laugh her off the subject.
“I never really thought -,” Olivia looked intrigued for a moment but clamped down on it. “You’re not a rule breaker.”
She scoffed loudly and rolled her eyes. “Until I started working at SVU.”
“You know what I mean.”
Olivia took a breath and looked back up at her. “I know there were moments where our friendship had blurry edges. I may have let myself indulge in thinking about it once or twice but-” She pressed her lips together, took another breath and continued. “You- you never made a move, never asked me for anything. I didn’t know it was something you wanted to pursue. And then faced with it, I was just…”
“Scared?”
Olivia nodded slightly. “Something like that.”
“I just assumed,” Casey whispered. She took a deep breath and shook her head. “I was so sure it was one sided. I mean, I have fallen for you a few times over the years.”
Olivia’s mouth fell open with a slight gasp. “Where do you think you are now in that process?”
“Olivia,” Casey’s voice got soft and she looked away.
“I meant it when I said I had a great time. The whole night was,” she pursed her lips to pause and think through the rest of what she wanted to say. “That date, was wonderful.” Olivia swallowed, “And that was a really, really good kiss.”
Casey’s face flushed and she looked at her feet, biting her lip to keep from smiling.
“Casey,” she said to get the woman to look up at her again. “It isn’t one sided.” She stepped closer, now maybe only a foot apart from the woman and waited until Casey looked up at her.
“Are you in love with me now?” Olivia said. “Because I’m in love with you. - I’ve messed up so many relationships that I don’t even bother trying anymore. But I’d really like a chance. - I value our friendship too. So, if I’m wrong - then you really should stop me now.”
Her hands, infinitely gentle, brushed reverently along Casey’s cheeks. The press of lips that followed wasn’t nearly enough though, and Olivia’s hands wove into her long hair to pull for a much deeper kiss, one that felt like they had been meant for this. Like it was supposed to happen all along.
Casey’s arms circled her waist, pulling her impossibly closer.
Minutes, moments, later, Casey took a shaky breath. “You sure about this?”
Olivia smiled. “My nanny is coming back in a couple of days. So, tell me,” she smiled. “What are you doing New Year's Eve?”