Twice With Feeling

Her crush on Whitney was, at best, inconvenient. She’d never act on it. Never. Whitney would never be interested in her. She wasn’t torn up about it. She’d get over it. Like Sam. Like Julie.

Julie had been a pipe dream. A very straight pipe dream.

But Sam? Sam was everything for awhile. She just got her. She understood her in away no one else did. But the thing about Sam was that she understood everyone. Sam made everyone feel special. Which didn’t make Emily special whatsoever. So she had gotten over it. Slowly.

A little down the line came Whitney. She was just so pure and good. Maybe it was less of a crush and more a hero worship with a twist? When Emily first came into camp she had been entranced by this woman who welcomed her into the backline with open arms. She had never met someone who was just so genuinely kind. (Not to forget that she was a damn good center back too.)

But Emily saw the way Alyssa looked at the other defender. A little bit of fear and a whole lot of love. Emily couldn’t, wouldn’t, compete with that. She’s not sure what the exact situation is between the defender and goalkeeper but she’s excited for the two of them. Being in love is exciting. At least she thinks it would be.

——

The Olympics had been just to her.

She watched her teammates go through hell on the field and no less than two days later she was sleeping with one of the hottest women she had ever seen.

After the game everyone had split off. Some, most, went back home and a few went off to explore the country before they faced the music back in the States. No one asked Emily what her plans were afterwards so she didn’t tell anyone. She ‘didn’t understand’ the heartbreak of the Olympics. No-one had said those words to her but the words were clear the in sullen looks she got from her teammates when she tried to comfort them.

They were right though, she didn’t know what this Olympics meant to them. Honestly, the Olympics hadn’t even been on her radar until nine months ago. It was a nice surprise, for sure, but Emily knew that there were more tournaments in her future. But for some of her teammates this was possibly their last major tournament… and they had blown it. And while she would love to comfort her friends and teammates if there was one thing she learned from her parents it was to let people melt down in their own way instead of risking them blowing up on you.

After the last official meeting with Jill the gals were free to do whatever they pleased; Emily watched as everyone left the room with some in groups or pairs, talking about flights home or exploring the area. Ashlyn, her roommate, was too busy dealing with Ali to notice that Emily had removed all of her things from their shared room one morning. Emily wasn’t trying to be an attention seeker or overly dramatic with her travel plans. She didn’t pack her bag in the middle of the night and sneak away, no, she woke up put on some happy music and bought a plane ticket to Rio.

Stepping out of her room she catches Alyssa and Whitney walking into the UNC grad’s room- hand in hand. Well, that hurt a little, but Emily was happy for the two of them for being able to find each other in this shitty situation. She passed the room where she knew Sam was comforting Lindsey. It was what Sam was good at- comforting and healing others, she knew instinctively what others needed. Emily felt better knowing that Lindsey had someones shoulder to lean on.

Emily made her way down the lobby where she had called ahead for a car to pick her up and take her to the airport. As she waited for her car someone called her name from behind her.

“Emily? Where are you going?”

Emily turned around to see Hope holding two smoothies with sunglasses perched on her head, “I’m going to Rio.”

“What? With who?” Hope asked, setting down the smoothies on a coffee table besides them.

“By myself. I’m a big girl Hope.” Emily reminded her gently.

Hope places her, quite cold, hands onto of Emily’s, “Are you ok? I didn’t see you-”

“I’m fine.”

“You answered too fast for that to be true.” Hope looked around the hotel lobby hoping to see Sam, or really anyone, who could talk sense into this girl.

Emily shrugged, “I’m fine, really. I just want to get out of here.”

Hope shook her head, “There’s a group of girls leaving for Rio-

“Hope I’m fine. I promise.” Emily’s phone buzzed alerting her that her Uber Taxi was there, “I gotta go, my car is here.”

Hope released Emily’s hand and stood up, “Ok, but just be safe alright?”

Emily nodded her head. “Of course.”

“Here give me your phone.”

Emily readily gave up her phone to the goalkeeper.

“I put in my number ok? Carli and I are going back tonight but I want you to text me or call me if you need anything.” Hope looked down at the younger woman. “I get what it’s like to want, need, to disappear and get lost, but at least be safe about it alright?”

Emily nodded her head again, “I will.” She stood up and took her phone back, “I’ll see you soon Hope, have a safe flight.”

Hope put her arm around Emily’s shoulder and squeezed, “You too kid.”

Emily walked away and headed out to the parking lot where her uber waited. It was a smaller car but she was sure that she could fit all of her bags in it, the one shitty thing about traveling with the team is the amount of stuff you need to bring.

The driver pops the trunk and waves to her from the drivers seat.

“Thanks for the help.” Emily muttered to herself when she realized the driver wasn’t going to help.

As she struggled to lift her bag she heard Hope calling her name again. Emily looks behind her to see Hope walking over to her.

“Hey Hope, miss me already?” Emily asked cheekily.

“You wish, I saw you struggling with you bags and I thought I could take one.” Hope offered.

“Take one?”

“I doubt you need all three bags. I’ll take one back home and ship it to you.” Hope told her.

Emily shook her head, “Oh, no it’s fine-

“Give me the bag Sonnet.”

“But you already have you hands full with your smoothies.” Emily pointed out.

Hope rolled her eyes, “Have you eaten today?”

“No.”

Hope passed her one of the cups, “There problem solved.” The goalkeeper grabbed a bag off the ground, “You don’t need this one right?”

Emily shook her head, “It’s just extra stuff. All my important stuff is in my backpack.”

“You have your village pass and passport?”

“Yes mom.” Emily teased before taking a sip of the smoothie, “Thanks for the smoothie.”

“Don’t tell anyone about this kid. It never happened.” Hope joked.

The uber driver honked his horn.

“Guess I really got to go now.” Emily said, “I’ll text you when I get there.”

Hope nodded her head, “Good. Have fun kid, you deserve it.” Hope turned around and walked back to the hotel. Emily watched her go with a smile.

— —
Alone in a foreign country Emily does what comes natural to her. She gets lots in the crowd. It’s her specialty. Knowing that she has somewhere to sleep every night makes her feel at ease about her decision to stay and watch more of the games.

Emily never has a plan. She wakes up when she wants to and then walks around until something catches her fancy. The floor she was on is mostly silent due to the fact it had been set aside for the soccer team. Emily guesses that the girls who did come to Rio didn’t want to stay at the village, leaving her to have her own floor.

On her third night is when she sees her knocking back drinks like crazy. Shot after shot after shot- Emily’s impressed. Emily watches a very small bead of liquid escape her lips and roll down her chin, down her neck and disappear under her very deep v-neck.

And that’s when Emily realizes three things:
1. She was shook.
2. It was really hot in this building.
3. Melissa Tancredi was walking her way.

Fuck.

“Can I help you?” Melissa ask as she approaches the young defender, a glass of beer in her hands.

“I. Uh. Umm.” Emily stutters out.

“You’ve been staring at me.”

“You’re just really pretty.” Is what slips past her traitorous mouth. God she sounds like an idiot.

Fuck.

Melissa raises an eyebrow and takes a seat, “Aren’t you one of the American kids?”

Emily nods her head, not trusting her mouth not to betray her again.

The Canadian scans the room, “Where are the rest of you? Don’t you guys travel in a pack or something?”

“I, uh, don’t know. I’ve been here by myself.” Emily admits. “I think they’re around though.”

“Oh.” Melissa deflates, “Wait, you’re that kid on Sinc’s team right.”

“I’m not Horan.”

“Yeah I know that. Everybody knows her name and lack of an educational background.” Melissa jokes, “No, you’re Emily right? Defender?”

Emily smiles, “Holy shit, you know me.”

Melissa frowns, “Soccer is a small circle. Why are you even surprised.”

“You’re just so, uh, hot and you know about me?” Emily finds herself looking down at the table with her eyes closed trying to shake whatever evil spirit had taken over her mouth.

“You’re either really bold or very drunk.” Melissa says before finishing off the drink she had brought over.

Emily shakes her head, “I’m just shook.”

Melissa looks Emily up and down, “You Americans get weirder with every call up.”

“Rude.”

Shrugging the Canadian woman waves her hand at the bartender and gestures for four more shots, “I just call them like I see them.” She laughs. “You can handle a drink can’t you?”

Emily finishes off the beer in front of her in one gulp, “Of course I can.”

“So you can drink a watered down beer. What about a real drink?” As if by magic a waitress appears with four shot glasses. Melissa slides two to Emily.

Emily warily eyes the shot glasses before bringing one to her lips. Quickly she knocks it back before slamming the glass back onto the table.

“So the kid can take a shot.” Melissa comments.

Emily winks, “That’s not all I can take.”

Melissa throws back her two shots and licks her lips, “You’re behind America.”

Emily takes her time reaching for her shot glass. Slowly she brings the drink to her lips and lets her tongue ghost around the brim, savoring the salt she finds there. She throws her head back and quickly seals the liquid, making sure to lick her lips of any residue the drink could have left.

“I’m usually on top, not behind.”

Oh hot damn. Steph would be proud of her for that one.

— —

“So what team are you on Pokemon Go?”

Emily blinks, “What makes you think I play Pokemon Go?”

Melissa rolls her eyes and taps Emily’s cap, “I might be older than you but I know a Pokemon trainer hat when I see one.”

“Oh.”

“So which team?” Melissa asks again.

Emily stands up, “Instinct all the way!” She starts to dab repeatedly while smiling uncontrollably.

Melissa gestures to the bartender for more drinks.

— —

“So you don’t have stock in maple syrup?” Emily double checks.

“Of course not!”

Emily deflates slightly, “I was just wondering.”

“What is up with everyone thinking Canadians love maple syrup and apologizing?” Melissa asks in between sips of her beer.

“I’d blame Tumblr for most of it.”

Melissa rolls her eyes, “Tumblr is the worst. I swear if I have to hear another thing about ship wars from Carm…”

“Hey.” Emily stops her, “Don’t go hating on the Tumbs. That’s how I found Bomb Girls and Lost Girls. Two very Canadian, gay shows.”

The Canadian rolls her eyes, “Fine. So you have a little bit of good taste.”

Emily slowly looks her drinking partner up and down before looking her in the eyes, “Obviously.”

— —

Two hours later the two soccer players are in a booth eating chicken wings without any sauce and downing water bottles like champs.

“I can’t believe you convinced to do a jaeger bomb. I’m not 21.” Melissa mutters into her chicken wing.

“In all fairness I meant it as a joke.” Emily defends herself before taking another chicken wing, “You’re the one who took it as a challenge.”

“How else was I supposed to take it, you questioned my ability to drink, of course I had to follow through.” Melissa clears her throat and repeats Emily’s challenge from earlier, “You’re Melissa Tancredi. A world class forward. You can handle a jaeger bomb can’t you?”

Emily smirks, “You forgot the dab at the end.”

“I will never dab, never.” Melissa vows.

“Lame.”

After the shots, bombs, and a few more shots the Canadian woman had called off her drinking for the night. Even though her coach let them have one night to mourn the loss of their game he expected them on the pitch the next afternoon ready to win a bronze medal for Canada.

Emily’s pretty sure that Melissa wants to sleep with her, like ninety-nine percent sure that the Canadian wants her in some capacity. Sure, Emily isn’t the best at deciphering whether or not people are into her but she knows the difference between a friendly hand on the back to steady someone and placing your hand on someones ass.

The two soccer players sit across from each other with their feet resting on the booth across from them. Occasionally one of them would place their free hand on the others leg and let it rest there, nothing sensual just a reminder that someone was there. While the night had been fun they both still had the weight of losing bearing down on them, more so Melissa, and it was nice to have someone understand what they were going through.

Emily looks around the bar, “Man I want ice cream.”

“Some of us still have a game to play.” Melissa comments as she takes the second to last wing.

“Jokes on you, I never had an Olympic game to play!” Emily jokes good naturally.

Melissa pats Emily’s leg, “Sorry.”

“Wait, what? No. That was just a joke. I honestly wasn’t even expecting to get to the Olympics this year. I’m just happy to be here.” Emily admits.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.” Emily nods her head, “We have so many great defenders on the team and they’re not slowing down; if anything they’re getting better. I knew to expect a call up soon, but nothing like this.”

“You’re good kid. Good enough for Sincy to mention you during practice.” Melissa says with a shrug, “Your time is coming.”

“If the great Tancredi says it then it must be true!” Emily pretends to swoon and flutter her eyelashes at Melissa.

“I liked it better when you could only say that you thought I was hot.”

“Eh, too late. I’m under your skin.” The young defender jokes.

Melissa slides her hand higher up Emily’s leg, “I’d rather you be just underneath me.”

Emily’s breath hitches. “Ok.”

“Ok?” Melissa repeats, her thumb rubbing circles on Emily’s thigh,

“I mean, uh, yes please?” Emily stutters out.

Melissa removes her hand from Emily’s leg and places them on the table in front of her, “Jesus fuck. You’re just a kid.”

Emily scrambles over the table to reach Melissa’s hands, “Wait no. I’m just spazzing out. Sorry.”

The wariness in Melissa’s eyes push Emily to continue speaking, “I’ve never had someone like you interested in me, It’s a lot.”

“Someone like me?”

Emily nods her head, “Yeah, you’re just so-

Melissa laughs, “Hot. I know.”

“Beautiful.” Emily corrects her, “And crazy smart. Not to mention an Olympian.” Emily gives her a lopsided smile, “That’s a lot to handle to for plain old me.”

Melissa’s eyes soften and she gently squeezes Emily’s hands, “There’s nothing plain about you Emily Sonnett.”

The two smile at each other for a few, out a character, moments before they remember where they are. Quickly they disconnect their hands and look around the room for any sign that anyone was watching. Soccer's a small circle, as Melissa had said earlier, and someone was bound to notice one of America’s up and coming players, canoodling with Canada’s big and bad Tanc. Thankfully the bar seems to be far enough from the village for their to be a lack of other Olympians.

“So… what’s next?” Emily asks.

“I somehow get Steph to stay with someone else tonight and I then I’ll fuck you until tomorrow morning.” Melissa says cockily.

A visible shimmer runs through Emily’s body, “How about you comeback to my empty floor and see if you can make me scream without worrying about anyone knowing.”

“Empty floor?”

“I guess I’m the only one who wanted to stay in the village.” Emily tilts her head, “Unless you want to sneak on to your floor and have to-

“Your room is good.” Melissa stands up, throws money on the table and moves out of the booth. She reaches her hand out for Emily to take and pulls her out of the booth. The forward pulls Emily to her and finds the crook of her neck easily, “Let’s see if we can end the Canadian and American feud in friendlier terms.” She nips at the, now rigid, Americans’s throat before pulling away. Melissa smiles, “Come on kid, keep up.” She turns around and starts walking to the doors.

Emily looks up at the ceiling, “Thank you.” She whispers to whatever higher being is looking out for her before chasing after the older woman. Before exiting the door she stops and dabs for good luck.

— —

Emily watches Melissa win another bronze medal from the front stands. Following that she’s fucked until she can’t walk properly by Melissa who’s still wearing her medal and a cocky smirk.

— —

They part ways with a long, wet kiss in a corner of the airport that seems forgotten by everyone. Emily walks away with her lips tingling and her heart a little heavier with something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Melissa watches her walk away until she can’t see the American anymore, her chest heavy but not because of the bronze medal around her neck.

“Fuck. I need a drink.” Both of them whisper to themselves.

— —

Emily didn’t expect to hear from the other woman again, especially not after losing the semifinals against Western New York. But after she gets out of her long, depressing shower she see’s that she has a text from an unknown number.

Unknown Number: Sorry about your loss. You had a great game.
Emily: Thanks.
Emily: Uh, who is this?
Unknown Number: I still don’t think I can buy stock in Maple syrup.
Emily: Melissa?
Unknown Number: Good to know you haven’t forgotten me yet.
Emily: I could never.
Emily: You watched my game?
Unknown Number: Nice goal in overtime.
Emily: Thanks… Still sucks that we lost though.
Unknown Number: I know.

Emily sets Melissa’s number into her contacts.

Melissa: Any plans now that your season’s over?
Emily: Mope.
Melissa: There’s that.
Emily: Soccer’s gotten to be a lot recently. I think I could use a detox.
Melissa: You could come visit me.
Emily: Seriously?

Visit her? Emily finds herself collapsing onto her couch and anxiously watching the messenger bubbles.

Melissa: If you want.
Emily: Ok when’s a good time for you?

Emily bites her lip, not sure if she had sounded too desperate in the last text.

Melissa: Tomorrow?
Emily: What?
Melissa: I have a flight booked with your name on it if you want it.

Emily looks around her apartment. There’s nothing holding her back from going to the Sweden to visit Melissa. No pets, no significant others. All of her teammates had split up to go with their partners or had grouped together and forgotten to invite her to their moping sessions. It was the Olympics all over again.

Emily: I want it.

“More like I want you.” Emily mutters to herself as she makes her way to her room where she finds her carry on and begins shoving clothes into it.

Melissa: Good. I’ll text you the info. See you in 20 hours and 5 minutes.

What was Emily supposed to say to that. Thanks? I hope we have sex the entire time I’m there? Or even worse: I miss you?

Emily: *dabs*
Melissa: Ugh, go to sleep Emily. You have an early flight to catch.
Emily: Night then!
Melissa: Good morning.